Heartbreak Hotel

Rating:
Summary: Better than Prozac - or something..."naughty!"
Review: When I'm not in a particularly pleasant mood, there are five movies that I watch as sort of "mood elavation." When I yearn for "days bygone," I sigh wistfully, think "been there-done that" and watch Cheech & Chong's "Up In Smoke." When my wife is in a rare cozy mood, we watch Jane Seymour and Christopher Reeve in "Somewhere In Time." When I am angry enough to, say, send Usama Ben Dover a map of...somebody's hometown with the caption, "Yo Mama Eat Poke," I will gleefully watch Chevy Chase's "Modern Problems." And when I'm of a most irresponsible frame of mind, I will almost wet my pants laughing at Nicholas Cage in "Raising Arizona." But as an ex-musician, a Southern ex-musician, one who sadly acknowledges the grim fact that Rock and Roll did indeed DIE on August 16, 1977, "Heartbreak Hotel" defnitely tops them all. The plot is almost non-existent - indeed, it ADMITS in the opening credits that "there are many stories about the King...this is a fable." The..."fable," you ask? It's 1972, Johnny Wolfe's Mom, as portrayed by the GORGEOUS Tuesday Weld, runs (and evidentally owns) a decaying motel, and she seems to be suffering from depression. She even has a jerk of a drunken, abusive boyfriend to make things "dramatic" or something. So Johnny, in between school, babbling about Alice Cooper, playing with his band ("The Wolfe Pack"), and raising his little sister Pammy, comes to the conclusion that kidnapping >Elvis Presley!< will cheer up his Mom. See? I TOLD you! CHEESE! NO plot! Still, watching Johnny "kidnap Elvis" and transform him into "the '56 Elvis" ("that's when Mom said you were the coolest"), and then, the sight of David Keith as Elvis, singing "Love Me" as Mrs. Wolfe comes home from a date - this is Rock and Roll CHEESE at its absolute FINEST, folks. And Heaven knows, given the current state of the mung that calls itself "rock and roll" right now, we could ALL use a few cheeseburgers ("cheeseburgers," by the way, are featured quite prominantly in the movie). No use in recounting any more of the plot - except that the next-to-final-scene, where "Elvis" and the "Wolfe Pack" hijack Johnny's high school's talent show and perform the song "Heartbreak Hotel" gives me the EXACT SAME THRILL as ANYTHING in the movie "Woodstock" ("Gimme Shelter" - now that's ANOTHER story altogether...we'll discuss IT later...). No, "Heartbreak Hotel" will never win any awards for anything (and thank The Lord for THAT), but if you want a GUARANTEED grin...check it out, y'all: excellent, EXCELLENT cheese!

Rating:
Summary: Better than Prozac - or something..."naughty!"
Review: When I'm not in a particularly pleasant mood, there are five movies that I watch as sort of "mood elavation." When I yearn for "days bygone," I sigh wistfully, think "been there-done that" and watch Cheech & Chong's "Up In Smoke." When my wife is in a rare cozy mood, we watch Jane Seymour and Christopher Reeve in "Somewhere In Time." When I am angry enough to, say, send Usama Ben Dover a map of...somebody's hometown with the caption, "Yo Mama Eat Poke," I will gleefully watch Chevy Chase's "Modern Problems." And when I'm of a most irresponsible frame of mind, I will almost wet my pants laughing at Nicholas Cage in "Raising Arizona." But as an ex-musician, a Southern ex-musician, one who sadly acknowledges the grim fact that Rock and Roll did indeed DIE on August 16, 1977, "Heartbreak Hotel" defnitely tops them all. The plot is almost non-existent - indeed, it ADMITS in the opening credits that "there are many stories about the King...this is a fable." The..."fable," you ask? It's 1972, Johnny Wolfe's Mom, as portrayed by the GORGEOUS Tuesday Weld, runs (and evidentally owns) a decaying motel, and she seems to be suffering from depression. She even has a jerk of a drunken, abusive boyfriend to make things "dramatic" or something. So Johnny, in between school, babbling about Alice Cooper, playing with his band ("The Wolfe Pack"), and raising his little sister Pammy, comes to the conclusion that kidnapping >Elvis Presley!< will cheer up his Mom. See? I TOLD you! CHEESE! NO plot! Still, watching Johnny "kidnap Elvis" and transform him into "the '56 Elvis" ("that's when Mom said you were the coolest"), and then, the sight of David Keith as Elvis, singing "Love Me" as Mrs. Wolfe comes home from a date - this is Rock and Roll CHEESE at its absolute FINEST, folks. And Heaven knows, given the current state of the mung that calls itself "rock and roll" right now, we could ALL use a few cheeseburgers ("cheeseburgers," by the way, are featured quite prominantly in the movie). No use in recounting any more of the plot - except that the next-to-final-scene, where "Elvis" and the "Wolfe Pack" hijack Johnny's high school's talent show and perform the song "Heartbreak Hotel" gives me the EXACT SAME THRILL as ANYTHING in the movie "Woodstock" ("Gimme Shelter" - now that's ANOTHER story altogether...we'll discuss IT later...). No, "Heartbreak Hotel" will never win any awards for anything (and thank The Lord for THAT), but if you want a GUARANTEED grin...check it out, y'all: excellent, EXCELLENT cheese!