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Being John Malkovich

Being John Malkovich

List Price: $19.95
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Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Invasion of the Body Snatcher(s)
Review: Somewhere, somehow, sometime, someplace (possibly Providence, Rhode Island) Edgar Allan Poe and H.P. Lovecraft got together. Genes were spliced. The warped and twisted biological result was Spike Jonze, one of modern cinema's most insidious, surreptious, diabolically gifted and wickedly talented filmmakers and the most Terrible of the Enfants Terribles stalking the American academy of Arts and Letters today.

Having helmed the infamous Beastie Boys "Sabotage" video, Jonze and partner-in-crime Charlie Kaufman were ready to cobble together a Trojan Horse and aim it at the dark heart of Fortress Hollywood.

They succeeded massively with the darkly subversive "Being John Malkovich", the story of a disaffected puppeteer (played by John Cusack) who discovers a secret aperture into the mind of actor John Malkovich.

Some wrong-headedly think this is a surreal comedy. Poor, naive, childish innocents, I say! I'm here to contend that for all its comedic trappings, "Being John Malkovich" is a horror movie that H.P. Lovecraft himself would appreciate. Yes, I know, the title itself is risible, the notion of a portal into John Malkovich's consciousness makes one giddy, and you can't possibly have a proper cosmos-ripping horror movie with Cameron Diaz, John Cusack, John Malkovich, and Charlie Sheen. I know all the standard objections.

But first: if you haven't seen "Being John Malkovich", stop reading this silly review and go buy the thing. You'll be utterly delighted and glad you listened to my advice.

Alright, for those of you who have seen this wicked little gem of sheer cinematic subversion---listen up: "Being John Malkovich" is a horror movie, not a comedy, a long-toothed snarling wolf dolled up in comedic sheep's clothing. Think not? Fine: let's leave the idea of John Malkovich having his body snatched out of it. If the idea of a blameless, innocent, blithe little girl being invaded by a small platoon of slobbering geriatrics isn't horror, then nothing is horrible.

Still skeptical? That's fine, but be warned: everything in in Jonze and Kaufman's little tour de force here is expertly stage-managed and distilled to a single purpose, and that is fooling the innocent, naive viewer to the movie's singularly malign purpose: body-snatching is front and center here. If you think this is a comedy, dear friend, then you're being duped with fine food and good wine, just the tools the wicked immortal Dr. Lester (a fine turn by the great Orson Bean, with nods to Lovecraft's "Terrible Old Man") used, as the evil Captain Merten had used before him.

Think about it this way: what happened to Malkovich once Craig and Maxine's little entrepreneurial scheme took on a life of its own? Still feel like a good horse laugh? I'm thinking a stiff Scotch is more in order.

The direction and cinematography here are spot on, and every scene tells. The acting is also superb, from Cusack's dangerously desperate puppeteer, to veteran actors Bean and the late Byrne Piven (Captain Merten, who pities dwarves), to Catherine Keener, who plays the wicked, devious, Machiavellian shrew Maxine. I despised her every second she was on screen---good job, Miss Keener!

The real plaudits go to Cameron Diaz. I had never really considered Diaz an actress of substance, but her wildly schizophrenic romp as the crazed animal-lover Lotte showed the woman has some finely honed acting chops. Charlie Sheen sinks his fangs into his tiny but tasty role, and Malkovich purrs through the movie like a kitten.

Surreal, quirky, brilliantly paced, constantly resourceful, occasionally creepy, with a haunting, pining score by Carter Burwell and Bjork that calls to mind Philip Glass's composition for "Mishimia", "Being John Malkovich" is a clever, wicked, blackly funny work of genius, but it is very much a horror film. Having returned from a jaunt through his own tortured subconscious, Malkovich roars "I have seen things no man should have to see." Truer words couldn't have frothed from the lips of one of Lovecraft's demon-haunted heroes.

But instead of getting an exorcist, Malkovich goes looking for a lawyer, dooming himself to a mediocre career of performance art puppetry...

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: " It's my head, Schwartz!!!"
Review: I want to be John Malkovich and this movie is killer fun. Spike Jonze is the man and by far a great up and coming director/actor(he was in Three Kings with George Clooney and later in 2002 he made Adaptation with Nicolas Cage). Cusack is great as Schwartz, the man who finds out theres a door leading into Malkovich's brain. Diaz is crazy as Cusack's pet obsessed wife who wants Malkovich's body to have sex with Catherine Keener's charcter. There's a lot of great moments including when John Malkovich goes inside his owen brain. loved it a lot

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: ...
Review: This is an amusing movie. It spends a lot of time just showing us how bizarre the world of these characters are and by its end, it hasn't given us many new ideas or followed through on everything nicely. How Craig could manipulate J.Malkovich because of his career is kind of a MacGuffin, really. We never get too attached to the characters because they are all too often, there for a joke or cartoon-ish and not fleshed out too well. For this movie to be ideal, it would have to have more genuine characters and emotions depicted. It's dreamlike in the perfect way however, you just have to like it for what it is.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: strange and fantastic
Review: as always cameron diaz is the best, she plays wonderfully. Even though she plays an unsexy animal fanatic( but not with the penguins, thank godness), she's stunnig. The story is a little strange, but it's captivating.
Buy this dvd, hear it in german, it's funny!!!

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Alice in Wonderland
Review: Only this time, instead of falling down a hole in the ground she, or rather he (John Cusack) falls through a tunnel and ends up in the the mind of John Malkovich.

It's a surreal ride from the get go, from Cusack's apartment being a menagerie of animals thanks to his wife (Cameron Diaz) to his seeking employment in a company located on the 7 1/2 floor, for which one needs a crowbar to make the elevator doors open and enter, whereupon he is hired by Dr. Lester (The Mad Hatter)

The rides are fun, just like in Alice. The lead characters are , with the exception of Malkovich, body-snatching self centered egotistical maniacs who stop at nothing to achieve inmortality, get their careers off the ground, or at least, get their rocks off.

Suggest you stick to the quirky rides. My favorite is the one where Diaz is chasing Keener with a handgun (or was it the other way around?) through all kinds of trapdoors in Wonderland that lead to bits and pieces of Malkovich's past. But don't expect a great film, ( unless you thought 'Brazil' was great) and you won't be dissapointed.

And if your date starts talking afterwards about the symbolism of puppeteering, corporations, showbusiness, and so forth; just tell her in your most condescending tone of voice that what it's REALLY all about is a paradigm about paradigms, and you can't understand how she could possibly have missed that.

If she's a college freshman who is too young and pretentious for her own good, you'll probably score.

Anyone see a caterpillar smoking a pipe on top of a mushroom?

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: I liked it a lot
Review: Everything about this movie was great, the cast, plot, tone...etc. The all-start cast consisted of John Cusack, Cameron Diaz, and Catherine Keener. The main character, Cusack, is a struggling puppeteer married to Diaz, a pet-obsessed woman with frizzy hair. One day, Cusack takes a job as a filer in a bazaar firm that is on only half of a floor, and he discovers a portal into actor, John Malcovich's, brain. All the while, Cusack has been obsessed with Catherine Keener's character, Maxine, and so has Cusack's wife, Diaz. Things get confusing for everyone, Diaz thinks she's a transexual after being in Malcovich's head, Maxine is only inlove with Diaz while she is in Malcovich, and Cusack will do anything to win over Maxine including tying up his wife and leaving her in a monkey's cage. Very weird idea for a film, definately not mainstream, but I really enjoyed it. It's genius.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Pretty [Dumb] if you ask me...
Review: It was good for the first 30 minutes, but the rest was just stupid. I've never seen a movie take a nose dive like that. I mean once that girl says she wants to have a sex change it is down hill. While too many movies suffer the fate of creative bankruptcy, Being John Malkovich is a refreshing study in contrast, so bracingly original that you'll want to send director Spike Jonze and screenwriter Charlie Kaufman a thank-you note for restoring your faith in the enchantment of film. Even if it ultimately serves little purpose beyond the thrill of comedic invention, this demented romance is gloriously entertaining, spilling over with ideas that tickle the brain and even touch the heart. This had an interesting concept that could of worked, but it looks like there were to different writers. One wanted to right a comedy, and the other wanted to write an episode for tales from the crypt, then both ideas were smashed together and were totally ruined. This is the only John Cusack film I didn't like. Anyway, puppeteer's working as a file clerk on the seventh-and-a-half floor of a Manhattan office building; this idea alone might serve as the comedic basis for an entire film, but Jonze and Kaufman are just getting started. They then totally turn the whole thing around into some and stupid film full of mindless sex scenes and then it finally ceases to be funny and just becomes stupid, so I recommend seeing something else like Say Anything or Better Off Dead, those are actually funny through out the duration of the film!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Being John Malkovich is being damn good, & weird as hell!
Review: I won't say much, suffice it to say that this movie really really stretches the boundaries of reality & makes your brain do a few back-flips before finally settling in and trying to make sense of what is actually going on in this film! Keep an open mind & marvel at how unattractive Cameron Diaz is portrayed here. This film is a wonderful introduction into the amazingly out-there writing style of Charlie Kaufman, who reached an even better level with his Oscar nominated film Adaptation last year...
definitely give this at least one viewing.. you're probably need more considering it takes a while to understand... but it's well worth it.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Who Wants to Be John Malkovich?
Review: Original? Yes! Entertaining? No! What turns out to be a great idea becomes a terrible movie. BEING JOHN MALKOVICH has a great premise,but the execution suffers from a dreary romance and some downbeat characters. The idea of going into that tunnel and ending up in the mind of a second rate actor, then being forced onto the New Jersey turnpike is funny the first time, but it doesn't go anywhere. The love triangles are not worth looking out for and the characters (especially Maxine/Catherine Keener - -who played the same kind of "@#$%" on an episode of SEINFELD) are not sympathetic. Also, Cameron Diaz looks awful. As usual,John Cusack plays the same character he always plays in most of his movies except in this film, he looks like a bum. The ESPN commercials using the idea were funnier. A movie to watch just one time and that's it!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: And Now for Something Completely Different...
Review: My title says it all. Most movies are predictable but there is no way you can see where this one's headed. I felt I had received my money's worth after the first five minutes..just from watching the puppet's do the Dance of Despair.

This is a classic.


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