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Scary Movie 3 (Widescreen Edition)

Scary Movie 3 (Widescreen Edition)

List Price: $19.99
Your Price: $15.99
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Sobbing Just Wouldn't Begin In Comforting Me
Review: Upon very scarce reflection, readily leaving the clutches of Scary Movie 3's cinematic inter-sanctum of unabashedly relentless moronic cinematic reverie, narrative infantile debauchery, and childish moronic incessant prattling that apparently to some represents storytelling, I simply asked myself one question (beyond where's the antacid): was this worth ninety minutes of my lifetime? My simple most sincere reply was unequivocally no. With one rather inexpressible blood-caked sigh of utter unrepentantly in-depth mortal relief of being on the other side of viewing this newly deplorably first-class cinematic catastrophe of Saddam and Gomorrah proportions, my mind races to locate closure. Where do I remotely begin to chronicle my mind's Dante-like rise from these rabidly mentally sterilizing cinematic ashes that give Daytime Soap Operas a descent name?

How could I, how shall I, and how can I decisively come to grips with a film so vacuous that I could scarcely not imagine many losing more than their ticket fares after seeing this stupendously slobbering and bow-legged lame mutt of a film. It definitely remains an outstanding feat in today's ever-expanding unimpressive movie universe of redundancies to view such an utterly wretched anemic sophomoric estimation of public intelligence as is this, one wanders whether David Zucker and company believes the general public can grasp the collective works of Dr. Seuss without reaching for the Cliffs notes. So cavalierly inane in it's searingly infantile cannibalization of descent films and so irrevocably comatose and manically entrenched in creative traction over the telling of it's own story, David Zucker's Scary Movie 3 vapidly stays alive by squawking loudly and showing nothing.

Flying on the idiotic fumes of the assumed lowest common denominators that have proven box-office worthy in the past, we are amply given heaping gaping handfuls of thorough and severe unpleasantness alcoholically chased with unappeasably fake ironic malice, contrived vile smugness vaguely disguised as wit, and richly ruinous torrents of picturesque story revealed to be nothing more than scandalizing non-existent window-dressing stuffed recklessly into a tofu turkey with no skin solid enough to withhold the biblically fateful sour implosion of wanton perversity from within. The saying that beauty is in the eye of beholder should somehow hold true here. However, it appears that this particular beholder has taken the last fateful Concord flight out of the continent.

Yet without all of my mental angst and suffering at reaching the very absolute bottom of the movie-making barrel, I would have missed all those wonderfully delightful silver-screen embroidered moments that will last a shell-shocked psyche several lifetimes to recover from: the President of the United States (played by the eternal straight man of the ages Leslie Nielson) vigorously browbeating a handicapped group at the White House, a gay priest pedophilia romance vignette adorned with the disquieting aroma of scented candles, bouncing virginal school-girls headlined by a very(ahem)convincing Pamela Anderson debating environmental silicon issues with the sincerity of a Hugh Hefner interview, a mad-cap funeral wake over-zealously celebrated with a corpse hot-potato pinata-imploding Marx brothers comedy routine, vehicular child car accidents orchestrated for random giggles, and scores of other bargain-basement dollar-bin comedy routines that could only make Andrew Dice Clay seem envious.

One more fleeting thought comes to mind in relation to this quality-deprived Love-Canal bastion of cinematic obsolescence: when considering a ragingly mentally impaired film who's execution of simple physical gags pales mightily to that of a normal toddler who could do them superiorly in heartbeat without ever missing a stride. We are unceremoniously left with generic Crispy Cremes, Oscar Meyer wieners, advertisement tie-ins aplenty, and a shrill imprecise ever-increasing deflating helium rupturing feeling that we've been down these particular roads before and with radically better company.

As for the Dimension DVD release of this film coming out shortly, for those still interested, one would hopefully await the inclusions of a David Zucker and crew film commentary track, digitally enhanced 5.1 Dolby Digital soundtrack and pristine picture quality transfer, film theatrical trailers, and various other documentary and film supplements yet to come for the eventual home video release of the DVD.

As for yours truly, I'd rather be bound to a Iron interrogator's chair and forced to watched 10 hours of the Red Green Show then return to this.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: If you liked 1&2, you'll hate this
Review: Man this was bad! I Liked Scary Movie, loved Scary Movie 2, hated this. Not only is it one of the movies that all the funny scenes are in the commercial, two scenes in the commercial arent even in the movie!

I expected a lot more from David Zucker. really really bad.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: not bad...
Review: This movie wasn't so bad. It wasn't the best either but what can you expect? it's better than the second but not as funny as the first. Anna Faris did a great job and she protrays her character well. I enjoyed her performance the most. One thing that kinda kept me bored about this movie is the scene where they spoofed "8 Mile" and that kinda left me bored.

If you didn't watch some of the movies it spoofed than you probably wont get it because I know some of my friends who don't. I'll probably get the DVD on strength of reputation? heehee

Overall a good saturday night flick that you can enjoy for yourself or with friends.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: IS THIS GEARED TOWARD LITTLE CHILDREN?
Review: I was very excited about seeing the third in the Scary Movie series, but was extremely disappointed. Though the movie is only 1 1/2 long, I couldn't wait to get out of there. (...) What in the hell were the Wayans brothers thinking by not making this movie? It goes nowhere, and the crude and unusual humor found in the first two flicks were nowhere to be found. There was actually little kids in the theater, which should have been my sign to leave. There were a couple of funny scenes, but I already saw them in the trailers on tv. Don't go see this movie. In fact, it would be a waste of time and money to even rent this movie. I'm all for simple humor but come on. How ridiculous. The only reason it is making so much money is because people assume it is going to be okay. And okay it is not!!!

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Come on now, it was funny!
Review: I can't beleive some of the reviews I've been reading. Some of you people are saying "oh the plots should have been better, some of the stuff was just plain stupid" HELLO!!!! It's Scary Movie 3, not Gone With the Wind!!!! It's supposed to be stupid and pointless, that's what makes it funny. Anna Faris is freakin hilarious. So is Simon Rex and Charlie Sheen. I can't beleive that some people are mad that there wasn't any nudity or disgusting humor. If that's your problem, then just go rent a porn and stay at the house.
Is it the funniest movie in the world? No. But it is certainly not as bad as some of you people are making it out to be. Oh and as for the reviews saying "this should be the last Scary Movie", well sorry to insult your "expert" opinion, but SM3 made about 50 million in it's first weekend, I don't think that they're gonna let your opinions stop them from making more money.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Not funny
Review: I loved the first two movies in this series because they were funny and they flowed. This one had jokes that only the pre teens were laughing at in the movie theater. It's a waste of money and time because like I said, it's NOT funny. Most of the jokes are slap stick or sex related, but not as well done as the first two movies. The story line got BORING at times. The same jokes were repeated throughout the movie, involving the kid with the sixth sense always getting hit by something. It was very predictable. Save your money and watch the first two.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Good but nothing without the Waynes.
Review: Ok, I am a huge fan of the series, and from what I have heard, this was going to be a huge let down, but suprisingly, I found it quite funny ( not gross out funny, but slap stick funny ). No doubt about it, it would have been 100 times better had the waynes stayed with the movie, and I don't know if I am right on this, I heard it from a friend, but Scary Movie was sold to another company...is that right? Anyways-even though it was cut with A LOT of the sex and drugs, it still had its shares ( yea, every guys luck Pamela Anderson decides to show up in the PG-13 scary moive! ) But it had a good feel and it's parodies were very good.
Cyndy has become a reporter who has to investigate a video that kills you when you watch it and aliens are coming to stop the killings, but people dont know that, so on the story goes.

It has so many good points, but they are almost all equaled by bad points. They kill off Brenda ( I have heard ppl saying that this was stupid, you ppl obviously haven't seenthe first scary movie where Brenda is killed in the movie theater, and here she is in the 3rd, and there she was in the 2nd so cool your jets! ) And some of the humor was just stupid, like the craziness in the news studio, that was just stupid. But some of the video shots of the Aliens was hilarious, like the one with the dogs, and the horse. This movie still had a feel like the other Scary Movies, but it was toned down. It was still a good movie...

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Pretty good
Review: This movie was pretty good with some hilarious parts in it. And whats great about this movie is you have to watch the actors and the backround because the director will throw stuff in there.Like for instance the brother of charlie sheen's character is going to a rap battle like in 8 mile and when the bus comes to pick him up it says it's destination is "Da Hood".Scary movie 1 and 2 had great introductions but this one's was just plain flat.Not really funny but it doesnt harm the movie in any way.So if you want to see a good comedy see this hell if your cheap go see this during the mattinee hours....see ya

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Scary Movie 3
Review: This was a terrible movie, the movie was not fit for anyone with any intelligence to see. Four of us went to see it and we all wanted to walk out, but thought it has to get better and the result it kept getting worse.......waste of time.

I would rate it 000

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Scary Top Secret Naked Airplane Movie 3
Review: I went to see Scary Movie 3 because I had enjoyed the previous installments so much...I want my $7.75 back. While this movie had some funny moments, most of which were revealed in the trailers, the majority of the jokes fell flat. Congratulations to the writing and directing staff on another mediocre parody movie. So many of the little supposedly humorous bits in the movie look like they came straight out of any other one of the ZAZ movies. Oops, Charlie Sheen sits up in bed and conks his head on the lamp....oops, silly Charlie Sheen, he does it again! What a rascal! Silly Leslie Nielsen, playing the same type of bumbling character he's played in his last eighty-seven unsuccessful movies. Everything was so predictable, I actually caught myself checking my watch on several occasions. Anyone who has seen The Ring or Signs knew exactly what was going to happen and they weren't let down, because the writers didn't stray from the plot line of the two movies at all. Oh, combining the two plots at the end...sheer genius, sheer genius. One would have to be severally medicated or totally devoid of any sense of humor to fully appreciate this movie.


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