Dogma

Rating:
Summary: Asinine, Moronic, GenYr's will love it
Review: This should have been called 'DogFlop'. Not even 'cameos' by Carlin and Rock can help this smoldering pile of a movie. It literally accelerates into hyper-stupidity as it unfolds. Imagine a movie that portrays God as a female played by creepy, big-headed Alanis Morisette and maybe you'll waste your money on something else. I would rate it more at around five or six numbskulls if I could.

Rating:
Summary: Dogma
Review: Just the sexy, heavenly muse played by Salma Hayek wouldnormally be enough for me to scream out loud and give this movie aclean 5 on the scoreboard, but I don't. This film did nothing for me. I think I laughed twice during the whole film and that's not enough. Chris Rock does his best to make us laugh at the bad jokes this great comedian is stuck with and Salma Hayek tries to look as sexy as humanly possibly, but it's not enough. Linda Fiorentino delivers well below average acting as she stumbles through the story as Bethany (be sure to be out for more popcorn when she tries to play drunk). And please, let's not even mention Smith Mewes and his pathetic character, Jay.

One of the reasons I didn't like this movie a bit, might be because of a certain individual sitting three chairs to my right at the cinema. I have never, ever in my whole life heard anyone (or anything for that matter) with such a terrible laughter and I hope I will never hear him ever again. He laughed with his whole body and soul and it sounded like an old steam engine and a jumbo jet colliding in mid air then falling 10.000 feet to crash land in an amusement park. And the more he laughed, the more I wanted to walk over to him and kick him real hard.

That said, if Dogma had been a real good movie, I had never noticed "Laughterman". Dogma was not a real good movie. Stay clear of this one. There are brick walls more amusing than this film. And Alanis Morissette as God? Gimme a break...

Rating:
Summary: Kevin Smith is a witty man
Review: This may be Smith's best picture to date. He never fails to find the humor in situations, be it a cheap fart joke or an amusing observation about the idiosyncracies of life. The film never gets too preachy (what were the protesters thinking - this is a PRO-faith movie) and never takes itself too seriously. The big reason why I think Dogma is better than Chasing Amy? It has a plotted ending, rather than the ludicrous menage-a-trois suggestion at the end of Amy. Dogma is a fairly well-constructed, fun, hopeful, road picture. I do wish the DVD would have had some goodies, but I suspect the SE is in production now. I also wish Mr. Smith would find himself a good cinematographer. His films always have such a strange, "not quite real" color to them.

Rating:
Summary: The Wizard of Oz meets the Pope
Review: Two fallen angels (Ben Affleck and Matt Damon) are homesick for heaven and receive a mysterious mailing: a newspaper clipping about a RC church in New Jersey celebrating it's hundredth anniversary by offering a plenary indulgence to all who walk through its portals. The angels strike upon the idea: why not transubstantiate to human form, go through the portal, die and go home. One problem with this is that heaven is wary about just such a possibility and a call is send out (via the Archangel Metatron [yes, Virginia there is an archangel Metatron, he's just obscure] (Alan Rickman)) to the hero who is expected to save the day, one Bethany Sloan (Linda Fiorentino) a RC who works in an abortion clinic. She also has a secret identity that is so secret she has to be told of it. Anyway the fallen angels start from Milwaukee and Bethany and the two prophets (did I mention them?) start from somewhere in Illinois and head for their confrontation New Jersey. On the road they meet Rufus (Chris Rock) the thirteenth Apostle who didn't get written up in the Gospels because he was Black. Jesus was Black too, but since he was the Son of God, they put a spin on his ethnicity. They also meet Serendipity (Salma Heyek), a muse (she's no Sharon Stone). And to complete the cast, the part of God is divided between Bud Cort (of Harold and Maude) and Alanis Morrisette (she's better looking than you thought). This movie is a theological romp on the level of Bedazzled or Time Bandits combined with the story of the Wizard of Oz. Only it's relation to Catholicism keeps it from having that charmingly vacuous straw brained quality for which Baum is so famous.

Rating:
Summary: ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLY BRILLIANT! STUNNING
Review: I'LL ADMIT when I first got wind of this one and heard some reviews about it, it didn't sound incredibly appealing; but this is really, for me, all the more reason to see it. I kept seeing it in blockbuster and there was always just something else I wanted more. One day, I finally decided to rent it.
Man had I been missing out.
Many people think this is some kind of slam on religion or something like that; Dogma just points out what really is wrong with society today. Words really can't describe many of the joys of watching this movie; a comedy with quick witted humor, but strikingly insightful in its more sober moments.
Though I'm sure many religious fanatics will probably call this going against holy words, I think it's done more than anything in years to clarify and uphold them.
5 Stars.

Rating:
Summary: Brilliant. Just Brilliant
Review: Maybe it's just years of pent-up angst against certain faiths, maybe it's years of pent-up angst against people trying to convert me every second day (I'm an agnostic in the Bible Belt), or maybe it's just that I have a sense of humor, but this movie is wonderful. It has a great message about how faith is a personal thing, and how God is really a loving character (if you believe in him/her). It's also about how pent up angst can go horribly wrong.

My, I've got to work on that then, haven't I?

Rating:
Summary: Absolutely Hilarious
Review: I figured I would be offended by this film before I saw it. I was wrong. In a time when religion bashing is fine, but race or ethnicity bashing is wrong this movie comes in and pulls a little of both. I've never seen a Kevin Smith movie, but many of my friends are die hard fans of his work. I thought I'd take a look at this movie. It is so funny. Even in my religios stance I didn't take any exception to any words they said. Some people have even told me it made them interested in religion....weird huh?

OK, so the movie is about two fallen angels. They were kicked out of Heaven after a post plague drinking fest. Matt Damon was the Angel in charge of the world's plagues and seeing that they were carried out. He was talked into quitting because he didn't think slaughter in God's name was right. So he quit and God kicked him and his cohort, Ben Affleck, out of Heaven. While on Earth they found a loop-hole to get back into Heaven. If they walked through the doors of a certain Catholic church their sins would be forgiven. Then they would cut off their wings and become mortal be killed and return back to Heaven clean. Well, enter a lady who is supposedly related to Jesus way down the line. She is called upon to stop the Angels from entering the church. On the way she meets two "profits", Silent Bob and the other guy who's name I can never remember, Chris Rock, the 13th apostle, who was supposedly left out of the Bible because he was black. She also meets "Serendipity", Salma Hyack, in a strip club. OK, I'm sure you are confused by now, but you need to see the movie to understand each characters role. There is also a demon who is trying to get the angels to go to the church. It's for his benefit. If the angels make it through the church all human existence would cease at that moment because it would prove God wrong. Understand? Throughout the movie there are a ton of hilarious scenes. Chris Rock says Jesus is black, but white men who interpreted the Bible jockeyed it around to make Jesus look white. Salma Hyack said God was a woman, but men fooled with it and made all women in the Bible look bad. Honestly you have to see it to understand. It's great. You definately need to go into it with an opened mind. If you are easily offended at religious humor do not see it, but if you understand humor in certain context see this film. It is great.

Rating:
Summary: Jay & Silent Bob to the rescue.
Review: There are a few really great things about Dogma - the dozens of references to other movies, Allen Rickman's role as the voice of God, Selma Hyack (I'd pay to watch her read from the phone book)and Chris Rock as Rufus. There are also a few plot holes and a few scenes (the campfire scene, for example) that should've been cut - Oh, and let's not forget the casting of God. All in all this film is still a great deal of fun(it helps to be a Kevin Smith fan).

Rating:
Summary: God idea poorly executed
Review: I liked the idea of Angels falling out with each other etc, but I found the film to be extremely patronising as it wore on. I think the film needed more mystery - instead we had Chris Rock and Salma Hayek explaining a muddled version of what we should be believing in. It did make me laugh (Rock espec), but Matt Damon seems to be empty, and unlikeable. It got very cheesy in the closing seqence too. Worth seeing for the Hayek stripping scene.

Rating:
Summary: Deeper Than the Critics Realized
Review: This was undoubtedly the best movie of 1998. It is extremely funny and more importantly it is extremely intelligent. It dares to ask the questions that all people who have wrestled with faith ask, and while addressing the issues doesn't pretend to have the answers. It does all of this while being VERY funny and with a plot that keeps the viewer's attention. I highly recommend this film.