Hell on Wheels

Rating:
Summary: MST3k Fodder...
Review: Remember those classic movies with a singing cowboy? Well, this isn't one of them. This is a laughable attempt to create the singing race car driver!

I suspect Marty Robbins, crooner of classic country numbers like "Cool Water", "El Paso", and "Big Iron" got conned into this out of his love of racing. Maybe they thought Marty could pull off an Elvis-type role or something.

The production values are non-existant, the villians are lame, the acting is worse than a junior high school play, and the hot race car driving is not really hot, but ranges between luke-warm to tepid.

Marty (race car dirver and singer) wins race after race, and his little brother Steve (played by Robert Dornan, who was obviously so ashamed of this flick he went into politics), feels left out. To make matters worse, his girl is hot for Marty! So Steve decides to get his own car and beat Marty at the Big Race! To earn the dough for his new wheels, Steve takes up with moonshiners! Meanwhile, Marty's other brother Del works for the Feds, and is out to bust the boozers!

Wow. I can hardly contain myself.

The moonshine runners are looking for great mechanics and daring drivers, a' la Robert Mitchum's classic film "Thunder Road". In fact, this whole waste of space is a remake of "Thunder Road" without the class, more singing, and all the driving is done on the race track instead of the highways.

Meanwhile, poor old Ma and Uncle Jim wait at home, huddled around the radio and wonder... will Marty wreck at the race? Will Steve go straight or crooked? Will Del keep from being hurt by shine runners?

Gosh! The tension!

To be kind, you might like the time capsule look at racing (without seatbelts!), classic cars, and Marty Robbins crooning a tune or two at a nightclub. Connie Smith sings two songs as well, then flees the picture faster than Marty's race car can take the inside curve!

This one would certainly break the 'bots, Mike, and Joel, I have no doubt.

Sadly, this one is nothing more than a drive-in disaster. As for the racing action, that too is just like a drive-in. At a drive-in, all the cars are parked.