The Sidewalks of Bangkok

Rating:
Summary: If you thought ZOMBIE LAKE was bad...
Review: In this film, secret agents and gangsters seek a weapon which they believe to be in the possession of Eva, a diminuitive Thai prostitute. Eva (Yoko) is lured to Paris by Francoise Blanchard (THE LIVING DEAD GIRL), a gangster who tells her that her boyfriend (or favorite john) Rick is waiting for her there. What ensues is a struggle between the agents and the gangsters to get their hands on Eva and the weapon. I suppose it sounds like a watchable little yarn, but from the get-go there are problems. The soundtrack is terrible. The footage in Bangkok has nothing to do with the plot and despite all the strip teases, it is very wearisome to sit thru. The actor who plays the Fu Manchu-like Tong is a caucasian actor trying to play an Asian. Karloff and Lee may have gotten away with this sort of thing, but this guy is definitely not up to it. Once Yoko arrives in France, there is a lot of her running around on the lamb, and these scenes are a little more Rollinlike, for Yoko is just the sort of girlish slut one often sees in his films, altho they usually come in pairs. The violence in the film is senseless and about as convincing as watching children playing a game of cops and robbers. Rollin clearly has no feeling for a movie of this type. He is on much firmer ground with vampires, pirates, and nude women who have lost their memory.

Rating:
Summary: If you thought ZOMBIE LAKE was bad...
Review: In this film, secret agents and gangsters seek a weapon which they believe to be in the possession of Eva, a diminuitive Thai prostitute. Eva (Yoko) is lured to Paris by Francoise Blanchard (THE LIVING DEAD GIRL), a gangster who tells her that her boyfriend (or favorite john) Rick is waiting for her there. What ensues is a struggle between the agents and the gangsters to get their hands on Eva and the weapon. I suppose it sounds like a watchable little yarn, but from the get-go there are problems. The soundtrack is terrible. The footage in Bangkok has nothing to do with the plot and despite all the strip teases, it is very wearisome to sit thru. The actor who plays the Fu Manchu-like Tong is a caucasian actor trying to play an Asian. Karloff and Lee may have gotten away with this sort of thing, but this guy is definitely not up to it. Once Yoko arrives in France, there is a lot of her running around on the lamb, and these scenes are a little more Rollinlike, for Yoko is just the sort of girlish slut one often sees in his films, altho they usually come in pairs. The violence in the film is senseless and about as convincing as watching children playing a game of cops and robbers. Rollin clearly has no feeling for a movie of this type. He is on much firmer ground with vampires, pirates, and nude women who have lost their memory.

Rating:
Summary: Jean Rollin without the fangs
Review: Inspired by THE MASK OF FU MANCHU, a 1932 film featuring Boris Karloff and a young Myrna Loy, THE SIDEWALKS OF BANGKOK manages to capture both the mood and the idiocy of those golden B's of yesteryear.

An agent of the Secret Intelligence Service, Rick, is assigned to procure a tube with a sample of a new biological weapon. Unfortunately Rick is gunned down while filming around the back alleys of Bangkok with his Bolex, and the biological weapon whose contents "could kill an entire city" goes missing. The only clue is the footage from Rick's camera recovered after his death, which shows a young prostitute that Rick had befriended. Before the agents can head off to Bangkok to look for this girl, one of their men is ambushed and killed by two girls working for a local female gangster. Now with two groups looking for the girl it becomes a race against time filled with double crosses, plenty of gunfire and a heroic dog - yes, a heroic dog.

For those unfamiliar with the absurdity of the '30s action yarns with their stylized violence and bizarre need to rely on an animal sidekick, the wry humor of THE SIDEWALKS OF BANGKOK may be lost. Unfortunately, without a sense of where director Jean Rollin's coming from, the film feels like one of those ... Andy Sidaris late night cable programmers. Perhaps though it isn't necessary for one to have an extensive background in B features to see the sidesplitting hilarity in having practically every gun featured in the film fired, and always with fatal results. Maybe you don't need to read the latest biography on Rin Tin Tin to let out a loud chuckle at the dog sidekick who can untie ropes with his mouth and avenge his master's death. Heck, maybe I'm just being too presumptuous in what you need to appreciate this film; its gentle sense of absurdity should be enough to keep most Rollin fans delightfully amused. Those fans looking for yet another vampire film, however, will not be amused, as THE SIDEWALKS OF BANGKOK is one of his rare non-bloodsucker outings - though he acquits himself pleasantly in the new environment.

Those same fans of Rollin's previous work should be delighted to see Françoise Blanchard, star of THE LIVING DEAD GIRL (one of Rollin's most insufferably dull films), in a role that actually required clothing.

Non-Rollin fans will not fare so well. For you the film will be a never-ending bore of lukewarm erotica matched with that slow French pace that you hate so damn much. Worst of all, some old lady gets naked towards the end, and that's just uncalled for. You'll be choking on your popcorn in disgust when that happens. You'll scream at the screen, "Hey naked grandma, stop being naked and get off the screen." You'll try to turn of the television, but the remote is just out of arm's reach. Later you'll call a friend and say, "You won't believe this, but I just saw some hag show off her milk jugs... no really, you've got to come over and see this." Later you'll cruise the retirement homes looking for "olders" to fulfill your new fantasies; after all, Rollin is a master of the erotic.

Released by Image Entertainment under their Salvation/Redemption line, THE SIDEWALKS OF BANGKOK looks and sounds good. The film is presented in fullscreen (1.33:1) with the original French soundtrack. For those who don't understand French, optional English subtitles are included. The theatrical trailer is included and makes one wonder just how desperate Europeans are for entertainment that they would flock to see this film in enough numbers to make it one of Rollin's "most successful features." (I guess there's a reason Andy Sidaris is still around.) A filmography of Rollin's work is included but if you have IMDB, you've already got access to it. Wrapping up the disc is a short stills gallery.

Rating:
Summary: Stock footage of BKK and unconvincing non-Thai actors
Review: There are many misconceptions about Thailand and this "B" movie capitalizes on all of them. This very weak and plotless spy film centers on the chase of a Thai prostitute who unwillingly gets stuck with a biological weapon. The chase leads the viewers through strip clubs, kinky massage parlors and mud wrestling pits of what we are supposed to believe is Bangkok. However, the Asians in the film are not Thai. Some are Vietnamese and one is Caucasian made to look what Rollins must believe to be Thai. The action scenes are also absurdly unrealistic and the entire film is one pointless scene after another.

Rating:
Summary: Stock footage of BKK and unconvincing non-Thai actors
Review: There are many misconceptions about Thailand and this "B" movie capitalizes on all of them. This very weak and plotless spy film centers on the chase of a Thai prostitute who unwillingly gets stuck with a biological weapon. The chase leads the viewers through strip clubs, kinky massage parlors and mud wrestling pits of what we are supposed to believe is Bangkok. However, the Asians in the film are not Thai. Some are Vietnamese and one is Caucasian made to look what Rollins must believe to be Thai. The action scenes are also absurdly unrealistic and the entire film is one pointless scene after another.