Rating: 
Summary: Jungle Exploration: A Cannibalistic Meat-N-Greet
Review: Slave of the Cannibal God, a movie that I avoided for some unknown reason for quite a long time until picking it up in a movie four-pack (and then unedited) recently, was actually something of an entertainingly gruesome trek into the depths of South American jungle (especially in its strangely uncut version), dealing with not only cannibalism but also with cultural reasons as to why a person should never kill a spider around a native on a full stomach. Although I've yet to see a format of this movie that I would call beautiful, this one isn't that bad, drifting somewhere between a stored VHS tape and an older format DVD. The movie itself revolves around the dubiously enchanting Susan Stevenson (Ursula Andress) and her strangely Germanic brother Arthur as they head for South America in search of her long lost, and presumably deceased, explorer/husband. Once there, they find the local police of little help and are instead prompted to enlist the help of the, in the words of one local official, "weird Dr. Edward Foster." After finding and speaking with him a bit - discovering that he and Arthur have a shady past together and that he does seem to have some higher brain-function disorder- he tells them that that Susan's husband had possibly not gone into the jungle itself but had instead headed to a little island which, roughly translated, houses The Mountain of the Cannibal God. He further tells them that this place is off limits because its believed to be cursed and that strange happenings do indeed go on there, some of which he knows a little too much about. Why her husband would go there, he cannot answer, but with a pout of the lips and a bit of sweet talk by a receptive wife, he's off to find the good doctor. As any good jungle exploration movie would have it, he enlists the help of some locals along the way, all of which are obviously disposable, and all of whom provide some seriously bloody bait for the eyes to digest. Between traps that kill in some not-so-nice manners, cannibals that like to play with spears and knives before grabiing a meal and going, and the atypical fleeing that all smart natives do when the going gets though, we run through them rather quickly. Still, this problem is short-lived as our little group of miscreants finds themselves a fresh supply of innocents (at a mission, of all the places) to have butchered, and even pick up another explorer - with the help of a now sexually active, utterly receptive wife - to help them along their way. Then comes the real guessing game, the one that pits questionslike: what's actually going on, what motives lie hidden in these obviously convoluted minds, how bloody can the movie get before these fools turn back, how often will clothes find themselves discarded in a place filled with so many poisonous entities, and why the wife and her brother be carrying a Geiger counter? Yes, its a thrilling answer as to why one should stay home and only dream about jungle exploration.
Rating: 
Summary: Ursula Undress'd in lurid jungle saga!
Review: Ursula Andress, still gorgeous here at age 42, is captured by cannibals in New Guinea while searching for her lost husband. She's tied naked to a pole and two cannibal women smear red barbecue sauce all over her voluptuous body, before the ritual feast! That's pretty much the high point of this rather lurid Italian epic. The stock footage of the lush jungle is scenic, but Ursula is the best scenery of all. Stacy Keach has a starring role, but he gets killed off right away. So Ursula Undressed is the only reason to buy this DVD, and that is plenty reason enough! And it's a bargain at only ....! Don't miss it!
Rating: 
Summary: Worst Movie Ever?
Review: What can I say about this movie?!? A rescue team sets out to find a woman's (Ursula Andress) husband. They spend most of the movie getting to a mountain top where her husband disappeared. Most of the rescue team is killed before they arrive (even Stacy Keach). Ursula Andress is stripped and covered with some red stuff (dye, blood, dead husband's goo??...who knows). Ursula escapes with the sole surviving man and they float down the river. No gruesome deaths (except perhaps a snake's). No real story line. And definately, no acting ability used in this film. It had NO redeeming qualities what-so-ever (unless you really want to see Ursula naked). Wish I could have given it no stars!
Rating:
Summary: Worst Movie Ever?
Review: What can I say about this movie?!? A rescue team sets out to find a woman's (Ursula Andress) husband. They spend most of the movie getting to a mountain top where her husband disappeared. Most of the rescue team is killed before they arrive (even Stacy Keach). Ursula Andress is stripped and covered with some red stuff (dye, blood, dead husband's goo??...who knows). Ursula escapes with the sole surviving man and they float down the river. No gruesome deaths (except perhaps a snake's). No real story line. And definately, no acting ability used in this film. It had NO redeeming qualities what-so-ever (unless you really want to see Ursula naked). Wish I could have given it no stars!
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