Rating: 
Summary: Why is anyone surprised that this a bad movie?
Review: Of course, "Swept Away" is a bad movie- it has Madonna as its star! Madonna has been a cultural icon for almost 20 yrs now. During those 20 yrs Madonna has proven two things: 1) She's a brilliant self-promoter and 2) She's a lousy actress. Quite simply, her screenmember's guild card should have been permanently revoked after "Who's That Girl?," but here she is in the 21st century torturing audiences with another awful performance. Despite the beating she took from the critics, you can't feel too badly for her because her fame as Madonna ensures that filmmakers will continue to hire her to ruin their movies.The person you got to feel badly for is her director/husband, Guy Richie. After his "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels," Mr. Richie was being proclaimed as a very promising young director. Then he goes and marries Madonna. And now, after "Swept Away," he is finding himself being compared not to Quentin Tarantino, but to the late John Derek, the director of some truly terrible movies which starred his wife, Bo. Following up "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels" with "Swept Away" is like following up "Pulp Fiction" with "Tarzan the Ape Man." With just one film, Mr. Richie went from being a hot commodity to a laughingstock. Memo to Mr. Richie: If you want people to take you seriously again do NOT cast your wife in your next picture. "Swept Away" died a horrible death at the box office. So dismal were its U.S returns that British film distributors decided against even releasing it in theaters over there. Instead, it's going straight to video in the UK. Undoubtedly, "Swept Away" will sweep the worst movie of year awards. That shouldn't bother Madonna because she's already done that before.
Rating: 
Summary: The Critics are Jaded and Wrong
Review: Despite the critic's obvious bias towards Madonna on the big screen, this movie is really a lot of fun. It was getting slammed before anyone even saw it or a screening. I have to agree with Entertainment Weekly's review and give it a B or 4 stars out of 5. Madonna is completely convincing as the rich, arrogant Amber who always gets her way and goes out of her way to torture her servant and costar Adriano Giannini. After the two are stranded on a deserted island, the fun begins and the power falls to her servant who can hunt and supply food. It is rather fun to what Madonna get slapped around. The cinematography is also well done and the Mediterranean setting plays perfect. Over all, this movie really is funny and fun to watch. If people try to take it too seriously then they will and can find flaws, its not perfect. So, let your guard down, ignore the critics and see it yourself!
Rating: 
Summary: She Can Act, Already
Review: Mrs. Ritchie's inexhaustible thespian talents, infinite charisma and undeniable star quality finally translate to the Big Screen - lock, stock and smoking boffo! In this effervescent comic romp, Mrs. Ritchie has at long last found her Lucky Star and "Guy" Friday -- a talented and relentlessly patient director capable of confirming to the world that the Missus is indeed in possession of Cinematic "It." Having conquered Hollywood once and for all, Mrs. R can now rest on her (finally acknowledged) film laurels and concentrate her ineffable talents on her gift of song, or perhaps the Kabballah (sorry if I muffed the spelling, dear). Happily, there is no reason to ask her long-suff -- um, ADORING -- husband to cast her in any of his future motion pictures. (For the specific legal details, please refer to article 7, stroke 12, substroke 5 of the pre-nup, Maj dear. (No, you don't look old.)
Rating:
Summary: Critics Can't Decide, too subtle or too much of a cliché?
Review: As much as I second-guessed seeing this movie, I am a fan of Madonna and wanted to check it out. Perhaps since I was predisposed to be disappointed, I came away thinking that the film was not very bad at all. The film is not Oscar material, but it is not a torture to watch. I cannot believe how heavily the film has been trashed. The scenery is great. Madonna is beautiful albeit noticeably mature in some shots. But, in most shots she looks as attractive as ever and her body is always beautiful. The fact that it may not be perfect enough for some plays into the role she is playing in this film. The theme of the movie is not a popular one (anti-capitalist & anti-materialism.) Many of the critics claimed that this theme was too subtle and somewhat unclear as compared to the original. This really makes me wonder what the hell they could have been thinking. It could not have been more obvious. The movie shows the fallacy of a woman that charges her self-esteem by using money as a tool of belittling others. She has made the mistake of feeling that her money (or rather her husbands) results in some type of accomplishment over others. She badgers and emasculates the shipmates (in a humorous way that only a "bitchy" diva could do). Eventually, the tables are turned and she is forced to play the role of a submissive and humiliated person. Getting a taste of her own medicine forces her to come to terms with the vulnerability that she feels by being an aging woman. Her anger and rudeness comes from living in a society where her wisdom, beauty and knowledge must take a backseat to whimsical 19 year olds with fewer wrinkles and whose like of wisdom and intelligence is often seen as a desirable characteristic among men. Perhaps, the role of her husband could have had more texture. At the same time, the emptiness of his character combined with his last minute conniving shows the viewer what type of world the "rich" characters live. The film does not have a Hollywood ending. The film is humorous, and it is also quite sad at times. All in all, the film was enjoyable and I recommend it to fans and people that don't mind thinking a bit while they are being entertained. The direction was awesome, but it is not the Wham Bam rollercoaster ride that we have seen in other films by Ritchie.
Rating:
Summary: Swept Away - Glimpse from Hell
Review: I finally have had a glimpse of hell watching this ... movie which should have gotten negative stars. Madonna, who's only decent acting job was as a female baseball player, just doesn't cut it. She should stick with her music, which is the best it's ever been, but watch this thing if you want to watch the most unintentionally funny movie in years, it's that bad.
Rating:
Summary: THAT LEAN $ HUNGRY LOOK
Review: I'm sad to have to break the news to Guy Ritchie & Madonna, but this movie is an almost total bomb. It completely lacked the passion and the splendor of the original "Swept Away." The original leading actress, Mariangela Melato, had a full breasted curvaceous figure that exuded a deep womanly sensuality. Unlike the lean and hungry look of an aging starlet whose grasp on pop culture (a culture that once fully embraced her warped sense of aesthetics and her shallow philosophy of materialism and selfishness) is simply slipping away like sand through an hourglass. As for the direction, well, there's not much to praise. Let me just say that it was less than inspired. In fact, the word tepid is what comes to mind. The original was, of course, breathtaking and much more insightful and character driven. Seeing this exploration into the mediocre makes me long for the days when trivial pursuit was not a lifetime ambition.
Rating:
Summary: One Star Because it's Madonna.
Review: As much as I admire Guy Ritchie's work, it's been painfully obvious for many years that Madonna cannot act and only manages to secure roles because... well because she's Madonna. And now that Guy is her significant other we knew she would end up in one of his films sooner or later. Let's just hope this over-rated starlet doesn't mar another of Ritchie's works. Memo to Madonna... drop that phony British accent and stick to what you do best - recording shallow and generic pop songs.
Rating:
Summary: Madonna... a natural actress
Review: Madonna is great in her new movie....I invite you to enjoy the movie when you have a chance, forget the press. Madonna does not act, Madonna represents the part. Treasure this Star now that she is here with us, for she is our last one. A Big Fan.
Rating:
Summary: happy for following my instinct and not for beeing a sheep.
Review: by the hard times that this shallow world is dealing with so much violence & hate,i found a piece of paradise in watching this guy's remake movie which is whorthwile,madonna is a beauty queen ,giving here a very good acting performance,the italian guy is hot,well the film is a comedy,romance & makes your brain fonction about life,because of some disturbing realities that may hurt some poeple..ANYWAY,it was one of my favourite of the year ,also refreshingly beautiful.
WHAT IS ANNOYING IS the trashy critics,very exagerating in makin a flop of this one ,i guess just because of the actress madonna,personnally she is one of the best actress which took her job seriously ,keeping it evolutive ,while i see none of the actresses doing so well artistically speaking,even julia roberts and not only her,almost knows how madonna is a threat to her careers,madonna is the girl who stops at nothing with or whithout critics.IN fact work of most hollywood actresses is bad choices and even .....BUT WE KEEP IT DOWN sayin that.
SOME think that really bothered me is some real bad reviewers of newspapers making remarkes about the look of madonna,the ageing skin ,apparent veines ON HER ARMS and so..WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?and what relation to the movie?plus she's shinnig there!
I RECOMEND TO FOLLOW YOURS INSTINCT,for me it worked also for many in my entourage,"guy you are a talented fella,thanks"
I have no issues with this happy couple,the choice of livin outside america,or that the director ritchie isnt american ,the critics just want to shake this happy familly,well let them know that life isnt based on movie or a golden statuette,madonna will not be a victim as mariah she herself knows,that why she says about it:MISERY LOVES COMPANY
Rating:
Summary: Entertaining and moving
Review: I have read so many critics' reviews and can't believe how badly this movie is trashed. I have seen it and don't think it's such a piece of gargage as they describe. It does have some weaknesses. I actually enjoy this movie. I don't think they gave Madonna enough credits for trying hard and indeed made some improvement in acting. She gives a credible and convincing performance and she actually does a better job than in "Evita." At least that is how I feel. Her performance here (the first half) is quite similar to the one she did for BMW "The Hire" series. If anyone hasn't seen that short film "Star" directed by her husband Guy Ritchie, check out on the Season 1. She did a good comic job there. (Yes, she plays a spoiled star and as easy as it sounds, no, acting is not easy.) A lot of people are going to dislike this movie because it's so "unAmerican," just as much as they will find other European movies bewildering and unsettling, for example, "La Pianiste." The tone of the film changes after 1/2 of it and it just got better. The chemistry between Madonna and the handsome leading man Adriano Giannini is infectious and only makes her transformation more convincing. Adriano does a wonderful job and especially to the end. The ending does make my eyes wet. It's entertaining and that is what I want from my $.
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