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Burial Ground - Night of Terror

Burial Ground - Night of Terror

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Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Overrated but great for a good laugh.
Review: This is one of those films I would have loved to have seen on Mystery Science Theatre 3000, though it's a bit too harsh for TV, and every US copy I've ever seen is already cut to shreds.

Basically, an archeologist is poking around in a tomb and brings the dead back to life. A three couples, one a family with a mutant kid, just happen to be vacationing at a villa nearby and you can pretty much guess where it goes from there. The dialogue is horrible and therefore hilarious, the gore looks like something a jr highschooler might come up with in the kitchen, a completely annoying and electronic soundtrack, and of course the mandatory gratuitous sex you find in all Euro-horror flicks. Oh!, and did I mention the mutant kid? How about his ... mother and their incest? Don't worry Bark wasn't really a child, but I'm not for sure that it's any less disturbing.

I do wonder what the story would be like in Italian. In English it makes absolutely zero sense. I'd compare it to Manos: The Hands of Fate, as far as making no sense goes, except that Manos didn't have the gore to rely on. Plus it was actually done in English, so bad dubbing can't be blamed. Torgo was a better freak though, with his ackward theme music, but I digress.

Only watch this one if you love the zombie genre, or if you like to poke fun at b-movies. It's got plenty material for both types. If you are expecting a Night of Living Dead or even a Zombie, this ain't it. The aforementioned incest scene is somewhat of an answer to the infamous splinter-in-the-eye scene from Zombie though...I think.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Peter Bark!
Review: Why Peter Bark(a twenty-something playing the part of a child) never went on to become the next big action hero is beyond me. I mean, he has it all: the look, the muscles, the demeanor...What a tragedy.

The movie itself is one of those zombie films that were high on gore/low on common sense films that kept on coming out of Italy in the late 70's/early 80's. Glaring examples of this are exactly why are the dead awakened by knocking on a rock, why are they all buried in the yard of the house, and why were they buried in potato sacks. The gore is great however, and one scene at the end(involving Da Man, Peter Bark) will certainly have any females that are watching squirming!

I have seen better, but I have also seen alot worse.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: More Irresistible Zombie Trash
Review: I don't know why, but I just love zombie movies. I buy every one I can get my hands on. Watch enough of them, though, and you start to figure out that there are only two plots. One is where humans bring the zombies to life, either intentionally or unintentionally, through evil scientific experiments or toxic chemical spills. If you've ever seen Zombie, Hell of the Living Dead, Zombie Holocaust, or Nightmare City, you know what I'm talking about. The other is where someone unwittingly summons or awakens the dead, as in The Evil Dead, City of the Living Dead, House by the Cemetery, The Beyond and this film, Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror.

Here, an archeologist goes poking around in an ancient Etruscan tomb. After banging his hammer on one of the walls a few times, suddenly the place is lousy with hungry, flesh-eating zombies. Are we ever told why this harmless tapping has opened the floodgates of Hell? Nope. But hey, what do you expect? This is a zombie flick, not Fellini. After the zombies are awakened, they spend the rest of the movie just kind of wandering around and making their victims' lives miserable. I say "miserable" because they only attack when their victims are having sex (Friday the 13th anyone?). Like any zombie movie, there's the usual gore and gut-munching once the zombies catch up with their prey (and they do). Nothing special in that department. Maybe the only thing different about these zombies is their ability to use rakes and other garden tools to bust through windows and doors. These guys are pretty handy. They even figure out how to use a battering ram. Go figure.

The film's most notorious scene occurs near the end, when "little" Michael (played by twentysomething actor Peter Bark) decides to make a move on his own mother (Mariangela Giordano). Thankfully, mom shoots him down, though not before allowing him to bare one of her breasts and put his hand up her skirt. Later, when the boy becomes a zombie himself (you saw that coming, right?), he lives out his incestuous fantasies in a most peculiar way. I won't spoil that for you here, but trust me, you'll have to see it to believe it.

All in all, Burial Ground is a pretty decent zombie flick. The movie itself deserves 2 1/2 stars. The many fine extras on this Shriek Show DVD, which include interviews with Giordano and producer Gabriele Crisanti, bump it up another half star. Buy the DVD. It's a zombie movie, how can you resist?

Three out of five stars.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Beware 'Mini-Me Dario Argento' look alike
Review: I have a soft spot (probably between my ears) for this movie.
ZZ Top reject prof uncovers the living dead in grounds of his villa. Unfortunately for him they are not the Grateful Dead and despite the prof's pleas the zombies eat this "beardie-boffin." Hair today gone tomorrow I guess.
Before long assorted Italian extras (and one unfogettable minor) visit this Villa Of The Damned.
An odd looking bunch - especially "young" Peter Bark - a sort of Mini-Me version of Dario Argento (sorry) who is utterly terrifing.
After a while the zombies arrive at the villa, but these living dead aren't Braindead. They use tools, weapons and even a battering ram to gain access to eat Italian. This predates tool using zombies in Dan O'Bannon's Return Of The Living Dead by several years. "Brains, brains, need more brains....." - out of luck here guys on both sides of the camera!
After assorted unconvincing gory mayhem (although the zombies look nicely rotten from the neck upwards in classic Italian make up tradition)we reach the film's highlight.
Peter Bark (now a "Mini-Me" living dead Dario and still scarier than his zombie cohorts) learns [chest] is best and takes a bite out of his mother's bogus bossom. Goes to prove the old saying "His Bark is worse than his bite!"
Hailing from Britain, now living in Australia, I first saw this movie on video and it lasted a scant 60mins - thanks to over eager editing by its distributor (Apex Video) and our helpful state censors - so it's nice to see it all its gory glory.
A much better release thank the UK Vipco DVD version entitled "The Zombie Dead" this film remains and unforgettable film experience....no matter how hard you try.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Wanna Good Time At The Movies?
Review: Then you picked the right dvd! Burial Ground is cruddy even for an Italian zombie flick, but that's all part of it's magic. The entertainment value is right off the map here, though I wouldn't watch it with my girlfriend or mother. Your friends might even think of you differently, unless they share the same demented idea of entertainment. It took at least ten long years for me to get around to this film. It stared at me from the video shelves for years, but I didn't have the courage to pick it up. I was leery about the fact that there were no pictures on the back of the box, which is usually an indication on the quality of the film. It had one of those beautifully painted covers that are always misleading(cheap sword and sorecery films do this ALOT with their box covers), and I thought this was to make up for the lack of photos on the box. Well, about three years ago I took the plunge and watched it. I watched it and loved it. Now I'm a proud owner of the dvd. Here's the nonexistent plot: A group of classy folks arrive at a mansion for a weekend of hanky panky, and before you can say, "Romero should sue", they're attacked by an army of zombies! From this point on it's basically a rehash of Night Of The Living Dead-Italian style! These zombies are a little more quick on the draw though and use garden tools. They even use a battering ram! Our upper class schmuck "heroes" pass up every available opportunity to get in their cars(which are parked right next to the mansion) and hightail it out of there. Instead they like to hang around and shout useful phrases at the zombies like, "leave me alone" and "go away". They also have a tendency to waltz around the mansion alone with only a candle for light. Aside from the jazzy theme song, the soundtrack consists of 50s sci-fi type music. You know, the kind that sounds like someone playing with the dial on a transistor radio? There's an awful lot of horrible dialogue that's extremely funny. One example of this has one of our "heroes" suggest to the others that they let the zombies into the mansion because the zombies might actually be after something in the house! This is stated after a few people have already been scarfed up by the zombies. That's pretty much it as far as plot, but there is one thing that makes this film a truly satisfying movie experience........and his name is Peter Bark. Yes, folks, the one and only Peter Bark in his first and only film. Your mouth with hang agape as you watch this scary twenty four year old actor play a little boy who likes his mommy a bit too much. In fact, you'll leave this film remembering Peter Bark more than any of the zombie carnage and gore. See it. See it today.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Not "The next Rocky Horror Picture Show!"
Review: Okay, so it's LIKE the RHPS in that they're both pretty subtle comedies (the first time I watched either of those films, as well as "Jack Frost," I honestly couldn't tell whether it was supposed to be a real horror movie or not -- yeah, I'm pretty dense).

As a horror movie, this film fails miserably. The main characters have no distinguishing characteristics (except for the creepy, bug-eyed Michael) and are incredibly dumb. More on that later.

The special effects are horrible. The make-up artist apparently couldn't bother to even paint the underside of any of the zombies' hands. To hide this, the zombies almost invariably moveD with the backs of their hands perfectly parallel to the camera. No kidding. Unfortunately, this flaw was fully exposed when the zombies were shown pounding on the front door of the villa (the camera was facing the zombies, still pounding their open hands on the door, and several of the zombies repeatedly exposed their bare palms. Oops).

Some of the zombies even had perfectly normal eyes, while the rest of their faces were severely decomposed.

Then there was the thing about the ninja zombies, but an earlier reviewer mentioned that.

Also worth noting is the total lack of continuity. In the beginning, the professor was torn apart by zombies. I mean his chest was torn open and feasted upon. Later, he came back offering similar treatment to the butler. But ... my god, his chest miraculously bore no gaping holes, and all the blood from his chest cavity had been washed from the shirt!

Back to the dimness of the characters. The only reason this movie takes place is for the characters to fumble and pause while the zombies close in.

One particularly inept man got caught by the zombies twice, and for really really stupid reasons. The first time, his girlfriend was being attacked by a zombie. Okay, so he grabbed a pitchfork and smashed its skull. Wow, that was easy. The next zombie, though, was a problem. It was deemed necessary to hover the pitchfork around the zombie's torso (without touching him!) long enough for the zombie to grab it and, in a few feeble tugs, completely wrench it from the girly-man's hands. The man proceeded to look around until the zombie's hands were around his neck. He didn't even struggle.

The second time, he was better prepared. Brandishing a stick of some kind, he unleashed a vertible flurry of viscious, limp-wristed blows upon the zombie's ... shoulders? Seriously, he missed the zombie's head EVERY TIME.

Ironically, he is one of the LAST to die, and by an electric saw no less (why is it that that saw is the only electrically-powered thing on the entire monastery grounds?).

This film's comedic value is inversely proportionate to its horror value, and for the exact same reasons. For instance, when the model's foot was caught in the brilliantly planted bear trap, the genius mentioned above tried in vain to free her. Every attempt he made, the trap would open slightly, and then snap tight upon the girl's ankle. This happened several times, and it only got funnier. Probably because the characters were so undeveloped that we didn't care what happened to them.

The characters' abject stupidity and the atrocious special effect and dubbing, not to mention the memorable way in which Michael's mom dies, had me laughing through most of the movie.

As good as this movie ultimately is, it's still nowhere near as good as "Dead Alive," which far outclassed this movie in comedy AND gore. Not to mention it had a plot.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Hot zombie action!
Review: I have read so many bad reviews about this movie and I just don't get it. This is a great zombie flick! You get to see the first bit of zombie action within the first 5 minutes and it last throughout most of the entire movie. The zombies actually look their age, like actual dried up rotten corpeses. The effects, though not the best that I've seen, are adequate and not so bad that they bring down the movie. The dialog is unintentionally humerous at times but this just adds to the overall enjoyment of the film. But if nothing else this film is worth the final scene when Michael, now a zombie, is FINALLY allowed to suckle from his mother's sweet, supple breast. A must see for any zombie (movie) lover!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Why I Never Accept Invitations From Professors
Review: Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror, is a movie rich with both the humorous and the strangely spooky, mixing the campy feeling of a down-home flesh feast and the thinking man's weapon-using afterlife with the rungs of dismay and dispair into one fun-filled flick of the proverbial wrist. It has its moments, too, amidst its plethora of good and bad actors, chilling effects that mix with the gory and the downright cheesy, and the most confusingly aged supposed child the screen has ever had the privilege of knowing.

It begins as many other movies begin, with a bumbling theologian (this time a professor) thirsting for knowledge and finding more than he's bargained for. After locating a crypt and fumbling around with its cursed inscription, he unleashes a horde of adorable, worm-ridden zombies with very foul, very hungry dispositions, ones that don't seem to care that he's shouting "stop, stop, I'm a friend." Enter a group of mindless socialites-seven plus servants that further boost their numbers -- that "assume," quite incorrectly I might add, that their invitation by that same professor to a wonderful country villa is a passport to pleasure. After indulging in some rather out-of-the-way love making, these people find the grounds littered with the walking, and overly intelligent, dead, ones that don't seem bothered in the least by a few of their numbers being brained. This begins a night of locked doors, bullet depletion, and incestuous (yes, incestuous) desires, one that leads to a wonderful ending that quickly dispels the myth that slow-moving equates to harmless.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Thank Goodness for BAD DUBBING!!!
Review: This film is absolutely wonderful! It features the worst dubbing and worst acting ever, and it is just so funny because of it. The world's ugliest child (Peter Bark who was in his 20's when they shot it) gets changed into a zombie and still tries to literally nurse from his mother with horrific results. The zombies are ultra ugly and the dialouge is so atrocious that it is hysterical. This is just so much fun. If you like bad movies, proceed immediately to buy this!!!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Quick, Everybody Back To The Villa!!
Review: Only in a European zombie movie would you ever hear these words: "The zombies are coming, quick, everybody back to the villa!" Good God this is one of the best bad movies ever. It begins with this scientist that looks like Rasputin the Mad Monk, digging around in a cavern. A zombie, that looks alot like a rotten potato with a side of earthworms and nightcrawlers, just sort of appears, and the scientist is like, "Wait, I'm your friend." This gripping, horrifying scene sets the tone for the whole movie.

What you have is a group of people, drawn together for reasons absolutely unknown, to a villa. Then, it's a matter if seeing if they can stop fornicating long enough to get up and run from the zombies. The zombies all look like potatoes garnished with worms. They have crooked, oversized teeth, wear burlap sacks, and they stagger around like they've been drinking turpentine cocktails. Why are they here? Who knows? Do the zombies know? Let's ask...

Zombie: ...

Okay, I guess not. At one point, a woman runs from a zombie and steps into a steel-toothed bear trap set in the courtyard for no apparent reason, and she complains about the PAIN, the PAIN, oh God the PAIN, until the end of the movie. At one point, one of the couples is cavorting beside a flower bed, and like, there's a zombie buried in there too. Here's a key scene: The slouch that owns the villa, or whatever, sends the MAID to go secure the grounds. She reaches out of a window to close a shutter, and one of the zombies, with maybe one good eye obscured by worms, is adept enough to knife-toss a railroad spike, pinning the maid's hand to the shutter. Mmm hmm, yeah. I won't even go into one of the disturbing relationships that takes place among two of the people trapped in the villa. Trust me, after that one you'll be ready to see the rotten potato zombies again.

The "Nights of Terror" only turns out to be one night of terror, after which the last scatter of survivors hotfoots it enlist the aid of a local group of monks that just happen to be potato-and-worm zombies too, baby! But, the zombies have shown themselves to be skilled at railroad spike throwing, scythe beheading, and basic carpentry. The movie ends with the zombies trying to shove a guy's face into a table saw. It's an emotional, tear-jerking conclusion to a profoundly sensitive feel-good movie.


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