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Fantasy Mission Force

Fantasy Mission Force

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Rating: 2 stars
Summary: One of the most garbled plots ever
Review: It is really hard to describe this film.

The movie starts out with a group of generals (one of them named "Abraham Lincoln") in Civil War era army outfits in the middle of Canada being attacked by the Chinese sometime around World War II.

It goes downhill from there.

The plot is a bunch of unrelated scenes held together by the pretense of rescuing the generals from the Chinese. (And barely at that.) It is as if someone had grabbed scenes from a bunch of different films at random and filmed them. (Which may actually be true, from what I have read about the film.)

Jackie Chan is in the beginning and end of the film. The rest is left up to a cast of relative unknowns.

The DVD is not the greatest quality. It is a pretty cheesy movie. You are not going to make much sense out of it, but it is fun to show to your friends just for the confused looks on their faces.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Jackie is not playing a good part but his kung-fu is okay.
Review: Jakie is a action hero with great skills but doesn't fight alot untill the last 20 min. or so , good to watch but not buy, try to borrow or rent it at your local video store.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Has to be seen to be believed
Review: Like I said above, this movie just has to be seen to be believed. I can't really describe it, except to say that it features some of the oddest situations and visuals I've ever seen in any movie. It's supposed to take place during WWII, but features old beat up 1970's chevy's (being ridden chariot style by Nazis!), Scottish UN Troops, and references to James Bond and Rambo.

Visually, the characters are almost comic book in appearance. Apart from the Scottish UN Troops in Kilts and Chrome helmets (this is a good place to point out that this film has an all chinese cast), we have a soiler, a hobo, a woman in tight black leather, and Wayne Newton.

The dubbing is laughibly atrocious. At one point, they refer to prisoners being taken to Tokyo, while pointing at a map of Europe! But that's part of this films goofy charm.

This is not really a Jackie Chan movie, though. He has a small supporting role and does little of his trademark fighting. It's one of those films that have been released to cash in on his name. But don't let that stop you. Overall, this movie is a total riot! It's the kind of movie that will make you miss the glory days of MST3K. Watch it with friends and have your own MST evening!

NOTE: If all you like are "normal" movies, stay away.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: I'd give it more if I could
Review: Pay no attention to the naysayers here: Jackie Chan fans all. Luckily, I, who do not care a lick about the majority of Jackie Chan's movies, am able to give a completely unbiased review of this wonderful film. Truth be told, Chan's character is of almost no consequence -- indeed, his presence here seems to be something of an afterthought. The "story" (which makes zero sense) is about a "fantasy mission force", who are trying to do... something. Who really cares what this movie's about? The real point is to see one of the most bizarre films in the annals of world cinema. After James Bond, Snake Plissken, and Rocky Balboa are considered for a job having something to do with WWII (don't ask me what), a group of generals (among them Abraham Lincoln!) sends their fantasy mission force to break through enemy lines. Along the way, this fantasy mission force, which is made of thugs, robbers, and conmen, encounters Amazon warriors led by a tuxedoed playboy, a haunted house, and many other weird obstacles (mostly cribbed from other movies). The high points for me are the opening theme song and the final showdown, which is genuinely moving as each member of the fantasy mission force gallantly gives his (and her) life for the good of the Allied forces. There is little else to tell; you'll have to watch this movie to see just how weird it is. As I said before, I care not a drop about Jackie Chan, Hong Kong action cinema, or action cinema in general, but this accidental discovery has to be one of the best movies I've ever seen. I hope to make films this great someday, as it balances all the great things about movies: it's surreal, action-packed, funny, and even suspenseful. Watch it if you aren't one of those square Chan-fans who insist their films have no purpose other than to show off "fight scenes" (I'm snoring already). Keep an open mind and you will discover a true gem of world cinema; trust me!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: worst film i have ever seen.
Review: please do not make the mistake of buying this film.Jackie Chan is barely in it , there about 20 seconds of kung fu in the whole film and it has no redeeming qualities.Unwatchable drivel is the phrase which comes to mind ,I truly cannot express in words how poor this film is.To put it into context,the european song contest would seem good after watching this.If I could give this film no stars I would.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Don't Watch This
Review: Please don't watch this.Jackie is at his weakest in this one.I really hated this.....Please don't watch it.Jackie doesn't do anything impressive for his fans in this one.I won't even try to really review this because it's not worth my time or yours.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: A great trip--without the LSD.
Review: Seriously... There are no words to describe the glory that is this movie. From the bondage-clad Chinese-Nazis driving '60s-era cars to the absolutely unnecessary destruction of an entire village of Amazon women, this movie screams at you to hate it. However, you cannot. It is perfection. It is like staring into the face of God and him telling you that you are his most perfect creation.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: A great trip--without the LSD.
Review: Seriously... There are no words to describe the glory that is this movie. From the bondage-clad Chinese-Nazis driving '60s-era cars to the absolutely unnecessary destruction of an entire village of Amazon women, this movie screams at you to hate it. However, you cannot. It is perfection. It is like staring into the face of God and him telling you that you are his most perfect creation.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: No No NO!
Review: Sluggish, embarassing martial arts weakly hold this film in one piece. Totally rediculous. Chan himself states that the only reason he did this film was because he owed a friend a favor.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Who gave them money to make this?
Review: Sometimes you just wonder how some movies get made. In this film, the Fantasy Mission Force, a rag-tag team of commandos, must rescue a group of "important" generals (including Abraham Lincoln? ) captured by the Japanese during WWII. To do so, they fight Amazon women in China's rustic outback, undead ghouls in a monster mansion, and the entire East-German Demolition Derby Team. This film is a campy romp that has horrible dubbing, inane explosions, visceral swordplay, jokes that are completely lost in the translation, and terribly underdeveloped characters. In short, it's pretty fun to watch. Just don't expect too much...


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