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Heavy Metal (Special Edition)

Heavy Metal (Special Edition)

List Price: $27.95
Your Price: $25.16
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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Pathetic animation and very weak plot lines
Review: When on cable this movie gets a two star review in its synopsis. It, however, deserves even less. The animation is lousy and the plot lines throughout the film are so simple and ridiculous. I can't believe how stupid some of them were. It is a film that definetly does not stand the test of time. Don't buy it, watch it on cable and be disappointed that way. The animation is a half step above the attrocious work ushered into America by those assassins of the art Hanna and Barbera. It's a baaaaaadddd movie.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: A little skin doesn't make it bad...
Review: The movie is just like the magazine... adult themes abound.

Yeah... it's got nudity/sex. But I'd have to say it has waaay more violence, than sex, so I don't see why the negative reviews all focus on the nudity. I guess some people just have issues, eh? Just because a movie shows some flesh at times, doesn't mean it's a shallow no-brainer, meant for pre-teen boys who are just looking for some gratuituos nudity.

By the way... there's no nudity in the "Lochnar/Girl in House", "B-52", or "Stern" scenes. "Den" and "Canyon" are the only ones that really push the limit. Aside from those two, the only other nudity is somewhat brief.

Sure, the plot isn't that complex or "cerebral", but you're missing the point. Each animated short was done by competely different crews, in different places. The fact that everything ties together at all, is an accomplishment in itself.

Other great "Old-school" animated flicks:

1. Ralph Baschi's "Wizards" and all the "Fritz, the Cat" movies (2, I think).

2. "Twice Upon a Time" - Ignore the music sound-track and just watch the movie... the music ..., but there's not a whole lot of it.

3. "The Last Unicorn" - One of the greatest fantasy tales ever told, in my opinion.

4. "Rock and Rule" - If "Heavy Metal" had a more solid plot...

5. "The Point" - I don't know why I bother. No one has seen this movie, except for me. No one probably ever will. Based on the Harry Nilson album by the same title.

On a side note, "Heavy Metal 2000" ... good animation, good plot concept, bad plot "execution", absolutely horrid voice acting from Julie Strain. (I had to put this here, because "Heavy Metal 2000" .... so bad, I don't want to waste my time talking about it... I've said too much, as it is... I'm just trying to save some people, before it's too late.)

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Heavily muddled...
Review: Why is it so much so-called "adult" animation concerns itself with stunted adolescent themes of misogyny and violence? From Ralph Bakshi's paeons to self-loathing to this disjointed rubbish, these movies give lie to the notion that getting your cartoon an R rating means it's for grown-ups. The childish "Heavy Metal," produced by Ivan "Ghostbusters" Reitman, pretends it's a story of the neverending struggle between good and evil, but is really a colorful tribute to maladjusted suburban teenaged boys, their fear and consequent hatred of women, and love of loud, stoopid music.

Okay, so there's this stupid orb called the Lochnar that's pure evil, and for some reason, it's terrorizing this little girl (the same way this movie nauseates the audience) by telling her some inappropriately sexual stories. If Lochnar were her uncle, he'd be in jail. First we visit New York in the future and meet a filthy cabbie, then there's Richard Corben's tale of a skinny geek who becomes a muscular freak who gets to get it on with brainless bimbos (pimply kids rejoice!), then there's the one amusing segment, "Captain Sternn." It's designed by horror comic great Bernie Wrightson, and pokes fun at pompous space heroes. "Futurama" would rip it off years later.

Eventually, the Lochnar or some blasted thing causes a B-17 crew to mutate into zombies, a Pentagon secretary is kidnapped into space where she makes love to a robot, and a strange warrior-woman battles evil barbarians on a distant planet. The end. Yes, it's very episodic, in keeping with the short attention spans of the stoners who are the few remaining people in the audience by the halfway point.

So, is good versus evil really the point? Nah. The main point is, women are scary, terrible creatures and if you never interact with them and instead hide away in your room with "Heavy Metal" magazine, you can imagine yourself as a brawny hero who gets the completely mindless female. In this way, that which is feared is reduced to a simple object of ridicule and debasement.

With a completely overrated soundtrack featuring overblown music by Black Sabbath (Ozzie rulz!), Journey, Grand Funk Railroad, Stevie Nicks and a lot of other heavyhanded, pompous 70s and 80s rockers. Oh yeah, the dvd's loaded with extras that will only interest the movie's fans. You know, storyboards, deleted scenes, tons of artwork from the movie. Trust me- it's not worth it. This movie was not revolutionary or evolutionary by any means. All it adds up to is the feeling you've found a soiled "Penthouse" down at the playground.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Pedal to the Metal
Review: Hey, lighten up all you 1 and 2-stars. This is just pure hokey fun. If you can't enjoy cheesy, bad, cheap comedies like this, then I truly feel sorry for you. This is a cult classic. The DVD is a beaut too, and compliments its vivid horrendousness to a "T". This is pure nostalgia, good music, funny dialogue ("My! Aren't we fierce? Guards, castrate him!" lol), hot animated chicks, and B-movie brilliance rolled into one sweet package.

In any galaxy, Heavy Metal spells "good times". And all you negative fools, go sniff some Nyborg and chill the h3ll out already.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Take a ride on Heavy Metal!
Review: Opening narration: "A shadow shall cross over the universe, and evil will grow in its path, and death shall come from the skies." That death is a green orb known as the Lochnar, which has an evil sepulchral voice. This animated movie involves the Lochnar cornering a young girl and telling her stories of people who have encountered it.

Of the nine sequences, the opening two are introductory sequences that set the stage of the overall story, which leaves seven actual adventures. "Soft Landing" has a space shuttle flying over Earth, while an astronaut in a Corvette flies down to the Earth, with Rigg's hard-rocking "Radar Rider" playing. The animation is stylishly done, and leads to "Grimaldi," in which the title character and astronaut brings home the Lochnar, only to have it destroy him and corner his daughter, who hears the seven stories. Song: Blue Oyster Cult-"Veteran of the Psychic Wars."

The title character in "Harry Canyon" is a cabbie in NYC in the year 2031. He's got the usual NYC attitude, with his wits about and a well-equipped cab that gets him out of unexpected crises. He tries to help a nubile woman who's the target of gangsters trying to get the Lochnar, which her father discovered. Ratnik, the gangster boss, is clearly based on the Kingpin (Marvel Comics) and the Fat Man (Maltese Falcon). Songs played: Donald Fagen-"True Companion", Stevie Nicks-"Blue Lamp", Journey-"Open Arms", Riggs-"Heartbeat"

"Den" has a pencil-skinny nerd being transported to another planet by the Lochnar, where he's tranformed into a muscular he-man who gets some hot and naked chicks in the deal. One of my favourites, as it's inspiring to guys who don't have a chance with pretty girls.

In "Captain Sternn", a mild-mannered Hanover Fist is transformed into an Incredible Hulk-looking behemoth while being called as a character witness to the sleazy title character aboard a space station. Mayhem follows. Guess what causes Fist's transformation? Fist's first denunciatory statement of Sternn is funny. Song: Cheap Trick-"Reach Out".

"B-17," also known as "Gremlins," recalls the old Tales of the Crypt comics of ghostly airmen aboard B-17 bombers attacking living crewmen. Song: Don Felder-"Heavy Metal (Take A Ride)"

"So Beautiful & So Dangerous" has an alien robot kidnapping and getting acquainted with a nubile secretary from the Pentagon while his two dopey pilots get high on Nyborg, a cocaine-like drug. One of the aliens says he knows how to drive while stoned: "It's like you know your perspective's f-d, you just gotta let your hands work the controls as if you're straight." Songs: Grand Funk Railroad-"Queen Bee", Nazareth-"Crazy", Don Felder-"All Of You", Sammy Hagar-"Heavy Metal"

"Taarna", the story of a warrior who is sent to avenge the massacre of a city by mutants made evil by the Lochnar, is the best. She's mute, but tough, wearing a nice leather outfit that still leaves her body revealed, and riding a hooting pterodactyl with large eyes. The scene where she fights some mutants in a bar is inspired by the Star Wars cantina scene. One of the bloodier stories. Songs: Black Sabbath-"Mob Rules", Devo-"Through Being Cool", and "Working In A Coal Mine."

Included is a sequence, "Neverwhere Land", originally intended to fit between "Captain Sternn" and "Gremlins", of how the Lochnar's baleful influence led to the predatory and violent instincts of creatures and men, with references to the French Revolution and Jack the Ripper.

What made this movie such a hit was its depiction of totally nude females, complete with pubic hair, especially "Den" and "Taarna." Although seemingly dated in animation style, it's way better than its millennial remake, with great rock songs and an attitude that's tough, funny, and unique.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Unforgettable
Review: Heavy Metal is a truely unforgettable movie. I can't really imagine too many people besides 70's and 80's rockers enjoying it, honestly. A great soundtrack, and enjoyable to watch.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: excellent cult classic
Review: While I never saw the movie in the theater, I once saw the video at a Holloween party which someone was able to get a hold first in 1991 which ironically was 10 years after it was first released. Heavy Metal is one of those movies which you shouldn't try analizing but rather you should kick back and enjoy. It's the true party movie when you've got a "beer buzz" going.
Contrary to what the Editor says, I honestly think the Soundtrack is awesome. It includes "Heavy Metal" by Sammy Hagar, "Open Arms" by Journey and other great artists like DEVO which personnified what Punk rock was all about. The annemation is super and can be compared to that of Pink Floyd's The Wall.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: More like 3 plus, but worth a look.
Review: Twenty or so years after seeing it in a theater, I sat down to watch this DVD with a mixture of nostalgia and curiosity to see how well it held up over time. I didn't love the movie when it came out. The connecting story, of a green orb embodying all evil, seemed silly at the time, and remained so. Yet, the stories were each interesting in their own right, and the chance to listen to a little BOC, well, who could resist?

The movie, on the whole, held up well. The songs are fun and the stories still bear a stamp of originality that is becoming increasingly rare in modern movies. While I'm sure that, twenty years ago, the large bouncing breasts seemed to be added in just the right measure, there is a bit much of it. Nevertheless, it certainly is only a small complaint about an otherwise fun movie.

The DVD has some nice added features, including a rough cut that was truly a treat to watch.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Great stories brought to life...
Review: This very vulgar cartoon from the foreign magazine is a collection of short sci-fi stories all connected by a large green orb that, it is suggested, is pure evil. The animation, while very dated by today's standards, is at times very creepy and occasionally very funny. The stories are very good for the most part, but it is the film's music that sets the tone for each of the stories. From good rock tunes to the haunting main theme, the music keeps the flow of the movies and really provides a nice backdrop. But be warned: this is not a movie for kids under the age of 16.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Entertaining and fun animated flick.
Review: Inspired by a popular french adult comic magazine, this is a collection of animated stories told by a evil Orb which tells many stories of the future with Zombies, Aliens, Warriors, gore, sex, robots, hot chicks, monsters and magic.

A fun and exciting animated flick that is truly not for the kids, but if you want to see naughty animated fun then this is it. John Candy with Eugene Levy and Harold Ramis provide voices in some stories, plus the Harry Canyon story inspired " The Fifth Element".

Also recommended: Total Recall, The Fifth Element, Blade Runner, Starship Troopers, American Pop, The Matrix, Star Wars, The Matrix, Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring, Akira, Ghost in the Shell, Flight of Dragons, Dark City, The Last Unicorn, Day of the Dead, Lifeforce, Wizards, From Dusk Till Dawn, Blade, Robocop, Alien, Aliens, Big Trouble in Little China, Harry Potter Movie Series, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Star Trek First Contact, Star Wars Episode II, The Crow, Perfect Blue, Rock & Rule, The Secret of NIMH, Scanners, The Dark Crystal, The Neverending Story, Princess Bride, Labyrinth, The Thing ( 1982), Legend, Ghostbusters, Princess Mononoke, Professional: Golgo 13, Fist of the North Star, Mad Max, The Road Warrior and Fantasia.


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