Rating: 
Summary: I'm Going Ape! OOOOOOOOOOOO!
Review: I'm going mad over why they had to make this stupid, stupid movie! I never had any respect for Mark Wahlberg or Timmy Burton, but this just even lowered it. It's like the writer said,
"Let's see how awful we can get this flick!" I can just imagine them sitting down and laughing hysterically over the part where they made the humans talk. I bet they were rolling on the floor when they added the dialogue. Or what about the ending? They must have had a field day over that. Some questions, maybe spoilers: Was that earth? If so, why did the apes overtake humans and how? Or was it another planet that the spaceship with apes crashed into? If so how the hell did they overtake the humans then? Where did the horses come from?
If not, and it was earth, what was the thing with the spaceship crashing? You may think I'm an idoit, but hey, it doesn't make any sense! I only watched this movie twice and the talking is so jumbled up and the plot is unbearable. Look, I don't expect an Academy-Award film (it wasn't even nominated for make-up, it was so rejected!) but I wishes it could have been worked on a little longer before beeing throwen out there. I mean think about--not one thing fits with contradicting with another. Take the primitive houses the apes had with advanced rap blasting on stereos. Then they go around and hop like animals--which they are, but aren't they suppose to be more evolved? The acting in here was as stiff as cardboard. No drama. No comedy for levity.
(Okay, okay, not nessecary). No suspence. (The original creeps me out from the beginning!) No emotions. Doesn't Marky Mark have any discomfort with switching to a new planet? Also, it's not important, but why did Estella Warren have such evident make-up?
I know they always do in movies, but take stories with other women stranded on desserted islands--at least their lipstick isn't glossy red. Someone on here said that the women apes too didn't need to be made up. Maybe so, but that wasn't bothersome, I found. Afterall, they have rap, and basket ball right? Talk about plot holes--there's a mediveal-like battle raging between the apes and the humans and then digital music? I already said something like that, but I found it too big to ignore. Tim Roth has lost it. He may be interesting in this but he doesn't stick in your head for long. Besides he moved on do to "The Musketeer", so I guess there is no hope for him. As for Helena Boham Carter, all I can say is she looked better in "Frankenstein"--the last half. Tim Burton, please shave or get a hair cut or something and leave the industry. Either that or make sure a movie like this never happens again, even if it means to nuke Hollywood to save us from one more.
Rating: 
Summary: great story line
Review: Well by now most of you have already watched this movie. For the ones who have not, what are you wating for?? With two more moves to follow, the story should flow. New twist on a old idea!!
Rating: 
Summary: Good, but could have been better.
Review: Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes is by no means a strict remake of the original classic film, and certainly goes in its own direction. It is an enjoyable film to watch, but I feel it is let down by it's star, Mark Walhberg. Walhberg does not have the charisma or screen presence of a Charlton Heston, and is unable to lead this film the way it needed to be. Besides that, a mixture of a poorly written character, and his poor portrayal of that character result in the lead role being quite shallow. The mililary leader of the apes - Tim Roth - and his sidekick - Michael Clarke Duncan - both ham their parts well, and Helena Bonham-Carter is surprisingly convincing as an enlightened ape. The effects are good, the music score by Danny Elfman (Batman, Sleepy Hollow etc) is superb, and the plot has an intriguing twist at the end. Unfortunately, Walhberg's performance simply lets the film down. It is difficult to specify this exactly, but it is a feeling that one gets when looking back at the film immediately after it has finished. It is an enjoyable film nonetheless, and is perfect if you want to hire out a film for the evening. If you like it enough to buy it, then the DVD is well packaged and well made.
Rating:
Summary: Horrible
Review: Save yourself some time, and don't even bother watching this film. It was embarassing to its talented cast members and a waste of a potentially good storyline. The ending was absurd, and I spent the whole movie hoping it would get better. It never did, and I was greatly disappointed.
Rating:
Summary: Will always exist in the shadow of the first, better, movie
Review: It's hard for me to really get into this movie. As Roger Ebert said, the original film will still be the movie everyone thinks of when they think "Planet of the Apes." Where the original was big on ideas and lowly on production value, this Tim Burton remake is beautiful to behold, with apes so real you'd swear you were in a zoo, but the ideas behind the plot... well... let's just say they start small and grow on you. Much of the original's rich detail in the Ape society is missing in the remake, replaced with Burton's typical hamish humor about mankind's ego trips over animals and our fellow man. Gone is the segregation in Ape Society, the discovery of humans as thinking animals, and much of the other intellectual meat in the original. The only plot thread worthy of a sci-fi fan's attention is the naive "human rights" beliefs of the ape Ari, who begins with over-idolized ideals of a spoiled, sheltered "girl" who must change her pacifist beliefs as the humans make a brutal and violent stand to win their freedom from the apes. The surprise ending ties in nicely with the cameo appearance of Charlton Heston earlier in the film, but it lacks the depth or impact of the first film's ending. Also, another great moment, the 2nd coming of Semos (you'll know it when you see it) is drastically undercut by the villian, General Thade, who is as shallow and cliched as I've ever seen. Tim Roth's performance as General Thade is the film's best, dispite being the most poorly written and cliched. It seems that Hollywood cannot portray a military tyrant with any subtlty at all. "Give me absolute power," pleads Thade, and the poor Ape who does just can't understand why Thade goes bad... So, in the end we have a movie with only a glimmer of the original's depth, but a lot of "money on the screen" as they say. The make-up for this film is truely something that must be seen to be believed, and Burton has tasked his actors with a host of little touches that enforce the illusion, like the beating of chests and sounds and howlings which work their way into normal Ape English. Apes sometimes leap from place to place, which is way overdone, as these apes fly around like the Monkeys in the Wizard of Oz. Next to the apes and the fine performances of those, the human beings in this movie are one-dimensional and boring, further reducing the impact of this film. Mark Wahlberg is only the best of the worst, dry and uncaring, certainly no Charlton Heston. Nothing from the "hairless" apes inspires the audience to root for them... THE DVD - is 5 out of 5 stars, 2 DVDs actually, with 1 DVD devoted entirely to extras. Most anyone will be wondering "how did they do that?" after seeing this movie, and luckly there is enough information about the special effects and make-uo to peak anyones interest. The transfer is good, with nice color and an average sound track. Good stuff.
Rating: 
Summary: Well, I liked it!
Review: Well, I won't bother explaining the plot to this one, b/c you probably already know... Any ways, I really enjoyed this movie! It was exciting, full of action, and never boring. I haven't seen the original Planet of the Apes, but I loved the storyline of this movie. A bit of unoriginal, typical sci-fi, but still exciting. The only thing that bugged me was that girl with the perfect blonde hair and glossy lips-All the other characters were covered in dirt and grime and had messy hair, but she always looked like she'd just stepped out of the salon. Anyways, that's only a minor complaint. The infamous ending of this movie, even though it makes no sense, is still pretty neat because it gives you something to think about when the movie's over.
Rating: 
Summary: The jungle VIP (Vocal Ineloquence Preferable)
Review: Story re-working is terrific fun but the need to keep the certificate down has meant only the whimsy and not the menace has been retained from the original.
Whalberg's sermon on the mount lacks the gravitas of Shakespeare's 'Henry V'. It's more like a little league baseball pep talk on helium.
Estella Warren needs to lay off the burgers or the apes will end up swinging around her thighs rather than tree trunks.
Thade didn't give up, you have to give him that. However, judging by the shape of Whalberg's spaceship it should have been Tesla sitting in the chair at the end.
Rating:
Summary: Why, and wherefore?
Review: Take back the planet?" Can we just have them take back the movie, instead? I had high hopes for this little number, until the reviews started coming out. [Sigh] I really enjoy Tim Roth a lot, and have since I first saw him in "The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover." He's a phenomenally talented actor, and was pretty much the only bright spot in the film, despite playing a dark and relatively evil character. Mark Wahlberg, a surprisingly gifted actor, was fairly mediocre. Estella Warren...Her function in "Planet of the Apes," though, is unclear to me. Helena Bonham Carter...seems to play more of a love interest than Estella does, and she wasn't integral to any scene except the one in which they spring her family. So she's a passing love interest who stares broodishly at Mark all through the film, and plants herself on his lips kind of randomly before he leaves... At any rate, it's another pretty Summer '01 movie that lacks substance. The make-up was fantastic, and Tim Roth played a pretty convincing evil chimpanzee. His bizarre altered voice stopped being overly-distracting after about a half hour or so, and he must have been a good study when going to ape school. Most of his co-workers, however, seemed to have a hard time moving like a monkey - especially the gorillas, all of which kind of shuffled stiffly along, moving with nothing resembling the natural grace of the animal. The costumes were a bit lame, but the sets and natural locations were rather beautiful. The red glowing tents of the ape armies were particularly striking. There are a few "surprise twists" at the end which are neither surprises nor legitimate twists. It's as if, midway through filming, Tim Burton turned to his screenwriters and said, "So! How's it end?" and they got sort of pale and quiet, and realized, as they looked at each other all panic-stricken, that they had in fact forgotten something as they suspected. So, they tried to think of a mind-blow similar to what the original film had, and they failed. The first "twist" was forgiveable, and not even wholly objectionable. The second was a bit less forgiveable, and fairly objectionable. The third and final twist was just outright ridiculous, made not a damn bit of sense whatsoever, and just ticked me off. It wasn't even a mind-blow, it was the last desperate act of a writer grasping at straws. This movie blew. It was pretty, as most Tim Burton films are, and that's about it.
Rating:
Summary: Highly entertaining sci-fi remake.
Review: Remake to the popular 1968 original stars Mark Wahlberg as a pilot who crashlands onto an alien planet where apes rule and humans are their slaves. This re-imagining obviously won't play well with fans of the original, but holds appeal to those looking for straight-out action/adventure. Fast-paced, pulse-pounding, funny, and even rousing, this is ideal summer-based entertainment. The ending is a bit silly, however (still enjoyably so).
Rating:
Summary: I'm mad as Hell, and I'm not taking it anymore...
Review: Sometimes I cry because I am disgusted at what Hollywood severed up this year. Stupid Lord of the Rings. Disgusting Moulin Rouge and The Others. Kidman needs a CAT scan. Anyhow...Tim Burton has to be the most low-life creature on this planet for this horrible, horrible remake. Oh, but wait, didn't he exclaim it wasn't a remake? I will believe that when sloths fly. Tim Roth as ruined his career. And Mark Wahlberg? Gimme a break, people. Worse than Keanu Reeves. And Estella Warren is quite ugly if you look at her up close. Geez, what where these people on while they made this film? I doubt that 0 out of 234 people will say they found this review
helpful, but hey, maybe they will because I am everywhere! There is no escaping me! I'm Scottish.
|
