Planet of the Apes

Rating:
Summary: Monkey see Monkey do
Review: MARK WAHLBERG IN THE 25TH CENTURY. That pretty much sums up Tim Burton's "re-imagining" of Planet of the Apes. Surprisingly, the "Burton Touch" fails to do justice to the intelligence of Pierre Boulle's book, nor does it have the dreadful apocalyptic feel of the 1968 film. Indeed, the new "Apes" is basically a reflection of our time: glib, self-important, endless satire. Gone are the witty evolution/creation debates. Gone is the commentary on religious extremism. The script by Bill Broyles seems to have been hacked to pieces. The worst part was making the humans intelligent. In the original "Apes" the humans were dumb animals. Thus it was a powerful plot device to introduce a human who could reason and communicate with intelligence. In the new film, because the humans are smart, the Apes become little more than Nazi's who want to exterminate.....They're ducks in a Liberal shooting gallery. It gives the whole film the philosophical depth of a 13 year old.

And what was up with the "love triangle"? You mean to tell me that Marky Mark has got the beautiful HUMAN Estella Warren, and he's going to flirt with a talking MONKEY? Only a fool would buy it. As far as the film's coda goes, it was, for a split second, wicked. But then it seemed so out of place in the context of the film, it was almost funny. Little more than a ridiculous manipulation device to set up the next film. Hardly the shattering end like the 1968 film had. All in all, the new "Apes" fails in everway that counts. Its narrative structure is boring and unimaginative. It's success suggests we are already living on a Planet of the Apes.

Rating:
Summary: OK
Review: Take this with a grain of salt because I haven't seen the original (gasp!) but I was a little let down. The special effects didn't dissapoint and the action was good. The philosophical aspects, however, were a little heavy-handed and I found myself knowing exactly which deep thoughts the movie was intending to stir. I still can't tell if this was a bit of satire on the original or what but it irked me a bit. Anyway, it was better than Battlefield Earth and had enough interesting ideas to be worth a view. Perhaps the possibilities of the movie had my hopes up a bit too high.

Rating:
Summary: This movie sucks - no joke
Review: This movie was absolute garbage. Paying $9 to see it almost made me turn into a violent monkey - charging through the cinema smashing every piece of Hollywood SWAG I could get my claws on.

The acting was bad, over the top, one-liners that didn't make sense. It was like they tried to pick out types of scenes from big Hollywood movies like Gladiator and Braveheart, and they fail miserably. In a full audience, during most of the "serious" scenes, people were busting out laughing, because the movie was so ridiculous. It was boring, confusing, and did absolutely nothing for me. Marky Mark, who was perfect in Boogie Nights, delivers a performance equal to one of the "joke" movies inside Boogie Nights - half of the scenes are shot for women to drool over him (how many times did he sit in a "pose" and breath in and out very heavy while looking rugged at the camera?).

I was so disappointed in this movie I am almost on the verge of never going to see another Tim Burton film ever - it made me that angry. Too man one-liners, too many cardboard characters, and what is the deal with making the humans speak English?? In the original, they just grunted, which justified why these intelligent apes use the humans as cattle. I find it a huge suspension of disbelief that these apes think humans souless and less than animals when in fact they speak the exact same language that the apes do. Maybe it was some sort of comment on race relations, but it didn't work.

Despite the cool trailer that made the movie look good and appealing, it wasn't - trust me - fight your instincts to see it, you WILL BE disappointed...trust me.

Rating:
Summary: Apes
Review: I personally thought that the movie was good. I didn't like the first one because I just couldn't get into it and I thought that I wouldn't like this one either. But after my husband dragged me into the theater and the movie started, I was glued. The story line was so much better. And Ari was so much better looking.

Rating:
Summary: Fab!
Review: Planet of the Apes was just fab. I found it amazing! Mark Wahlberg is wonderful!

Rating:
Summary: Thumbs up for the visuals, down for all else.
Review: I applaud Tim Burton's effort in this movie. As usual his visuals and overall vision is stunning. However, I was dissapointed in the story line. I understand they didn't want to just remake the original. However, the original story has a logical thread and everything in it is plausible. Perhaps I am too picky when it comes to storylines, but this movie's is thin. If you are going to see this movie to stimulate your mind - forget it!

The special effects and make-up was very good and definitely better than the original, but they've had 25 years to work on it.

The other thing that I really disliked was the obvious opening for a sequel at the end.

All in all, it wasn't the worst I've ever seen, but it's close.

Rating:
Summary: The theater was full of laughter
Review: Although I have had misgivings about the overall quality of the movie, I saw Planet of the Apes last Sunday (July 29), mainly for the visual effects. I did enjoy the make-up/special effects, but still felt cheated out of my money because the movie is just so awful. I was laughing along with all of the audience at the Metreon at SF, at many of the scenes, not because it was funny, but rather because of the unbelievably weak dialogues (ie, between Roth and Heston, on his deathbed: this scene got the biggest laugh out of all of us). The movie is just so poorly put together, and seemed rushed. I know Tim Burton could have produced a more creative product...what happened?! The conclusion of the movie was left so open-ended...in preparation for a sequel? My advice...just wait for the DVD...not to buy, but just rent it...it may just be worth the $3.49 to view both the movie and the special features.

Rating:
Summary: Flee this trash
Review: Bearing no resemblance to the endearingly campy original, this film, much like the much hyped really awful Phantom Menace, is a complete disappointement.

Mark Wahlberg cannot be faulted for this flop, but rather the director Tim Burton is to blame. I expected the visuals of this film to be stunning and gothic like in Sleepy Hollow, but rather I felt bored with the lackluster scenery and lame looking apes.

The attempt to sexualize the apes was so disturbing and awful that i could only chuckle to myself at the spectacle. Helena Bonham Carter's obvious attraction to the astronaut was completely odd, and inexplicable. Also, despite the misleading previews, there is NO romance in this film whatsoever, such a letdown.

The villian Thade is completely one dimensional and stereotypical a villian, and laughably uninvolving.

As this turkey limps to its conclusion, a completely ludicrous and unbelievable ending that MAKES NO SENSE is tacked on, in an attempt to imitate the shock value of the original. If you are 14 or under, this ending may thrill you, but even people that age are likely too wise to be impressed.

Avoid at all costs.

Rating:
Summary: Burton vissssssionnnnn or remake of apes
Review: The summer hype is finally here.A weak 4 star vision by Burton(this reveiw is just too help the ave..lol).A remake of a classic some of us grew up with eighter orginally or reruns. [....] In a nut shell: A pilot in the year 2026,takes off too rescue a genetically enhanced chimp.Pulled through a space time vortex.Only to land on a planet dominated by apes.He's captured.He is aided in escaping by a female ape,who is a human activist,senators daughter,and love interst of Genral Thad.Who wants nothing more then ultimate power and no more humans.This leads too a climatic battle -human vs ape.The fight stops rather quickly-with no winner.This gives the pilot a chance too get home .Whoops he took a wrong turn somewhere...lol Here is a quick list of defferences. 1.The planet is Earth(unlike what prior release reveiws said)but instead of apes Evolving.Sci &space vortex are responsible for reshaping the earth and changing her history. 2.The hero is more conserend with him self then the slave woman he meets. 3,humans talk. 4.Female ape has a former gorilla general as abody guard.No love interest.shes not a vet eighter. 5.Classic lines are reversed. 6.Ape city is more of a power struggle between politics and miltary. the fx is good.makeup toomake up forthe times(movies shot in) .I like the orginal this is too heavy.the movies worth seeing unless your a diehard orginal fan.The ability too step on more toes:Then they could in the orginal really helps this movie.

Rating:
Summary: I LOVED IT & AM READY TO SEE IT AGAIN !!
Review: This was a wonderful movie! It was scary, funny, and the ape makeup was superb. Absolutely the best film so far this summer! (Yes, I have seen A.I. and Jurassic Park 3) I reccomend this film for any sci-fi fan.