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Star Wars - Episode II, Attack of the Clones (Widescreen Edition)

Star Wars - Episode II, Attack of the Clones (Widescreen Edition)

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Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Still No Cigar
Review: Well, I'm rapidly begining to lose my patience over the 'new' Star Wars series. The dialogue was, to put it mildly, awful. No actor in the world can improve a poorly written piece of dialogue. The love story was simply not believable. This movie is a classic example of what happens when a movie is worked over so hard that there's no spontaneity left to enjoy. Sure, the special effects are wonderful, but when will Hollywood learn that it's the story that impresses sci-fi fans, and the effects are just icing on the cake.

They say you can't capture lightning in a bottle twice. That's not true, if you stick to what worked the first time. Star Trek is a good example. Both the old and Next Gen series are fine examples of sci-fi, despite the terrible special effects in the original series.

Episodes IV and V worked because they told a simple story of good vs. evil. Now the story is lost among numerous plot twists and endless details. You can have a movie that uses expository dialogue to great effect, or you can have an action movie. You can't have both. Star Wars doesn't need to be this complicated.

But Thank God Jar Jar only does a cameo.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Star Bores
Review: A big disappointment. Just for the record, I don't want to pay good money just to see 35 minutes of a good film. And that is precisely what you get with Attack of the Clones. You get an astounding 35 minute action sequence preceded by some of the most boring and horrendously acted scenes imaginable. Everyone knows that Anakin Skywalker and Queen Amidala get together and give birth to Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia. So why do does Lucas have to shove their budding relationship in our face and down our throat? It lingers on for, what seems like, an eternity. And the whole time it's plaqued with a horrible script and bad acting. It reminds me of Pearl Harbor(which was worse). The plot is almost incomprehensible. You never really find out why someone was trying to asassinate the Queen. It was probably Natalie Portman's acting instructor. On the positive side, I did like Ben Kenobi, Jango Fett and Lord Tryrannus. Christopher Lee is always a great villain. And, of course, the special effects are top of the line. But that is not enough to save this film. I don't know what happened to Lucas, but I think he waited too long to make his recent films. These last two Star Wars movies just don't measure up to the originals. It's too bad, because I believe Lucas is capable of much more. ...

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Awesome, Epic Adventure
Review: I think it's a sad statement on the state of our society that some people just don't get it. And, even worse, it's the "die-hard" fans that are the worst offenders. "Star Wars Episode 2:Attack of the Clones" is everything that I expected and more. It is a fun and engaging adventure with amazing special effects, fun, humor, and a twisting plot filled with intrigue and romance.

The problem you see here is not with the film, but with that particular faction of fandom who feels that they know the Star Wars franchise better than it's creator. Sci-fi has all of a sudden become something that must be "serious, important, and dark". Star Wars has NEVER been any of these things. It's a movie for teens and pre-teens...and it always has been.

What you're listening to when you read negative reviews of "Attack of the Clones" are people who have forgotten what these movies are meant to be. These people want to see 2 hours of constant laser battles and light saber duels with some shakespearian dialogue thrown in. It's the same kinda garbage that's ruined Star Trek fandom: selfish, immature fans that believe the shows should meet THEIR needs and THEIR expectations. I'm sorry to say, but as a crowd-pleaser...this film works! I've seen it twice and both times I heard people buzzing about how much fun it was after we got out of the theater. I took my girlfriend (who hates sci-fi type stuff) to see it and she LOVED it.

You've got to remember that this movie is made for regular PEOPLE to watch, not necessarily the hard-core Star Wars geek. It's meant to be fun, campy, and "Buck Rogers-esque". It's a huge budget kid's adventure / fantasy. In this sense, it succeeds and exceeds on all levels.

The Padme / Anikin romance is meant to seem a bit forced. He's more an obsessive than genuinely in love. She is confused and scared. Also, you have to remember that this is something that is destined to happen, so thier "falling in love too quickly" is not the case. It's not a natural event, and thus plays out as such.

Ewan McGreggor IS Obi-Wan Kenobi. It's amazing how good he is in this film. It's increadibly clear how much he's prepared for the role and he is excellent as the adventurous yet conservative Jedi Master.

Hayden Christiansen is nothing short of brilliant, despite what you've heard. He's bratty, whiny, and immature. He's NOT a hero. He's been manipulated from day one by Palpatine (see the scenes in the end of Ep 1 and in the beginning of Ep 2, with Anikin thinking the evil one for his constant "guidance"). People expecting him to be a Luke Skywalker type are way off. Hayden does an excellent job of balancing an evil, menacing presence with the happy, generous boy he used to be before he was corrupted. I really got a sense of evil and menace from him...of tremendous power straining to be unleashed, and of absolute power corrupting absolutely. He was perfect for what he was supposed to do.

Jango and Bobba Fett are fun and it was an interesting tie-in to the original trilogy to see that this is the evolution of the fabled "clones". The space-chase in the asteroid belt is astonishing and the fights with Jango vs. Kenobi and vs. Mace Windu are really cool.

Count Dooku is a much more intellecutal and evil villan than we have seen. He is a fantastic manipulator, and he's obviously increadibly powerful, having been Yoda's apprentice and Qui-Gon's mentor. He is not as mysterious or menacing as Darth Maul was, nor is the lightsaber duel as engaging as the Maul fight in Ep 1, but Yoda coming out to fight was an absolute riot.

The plot is great also. I don't know if people are just missing it or what. The whole idea of lies, deceit, and treachery being the way of the Dark Side is demonstrated perfectly here. You can see that the entire Clone Wars, Separatist Movement, and Naboo blockade (from ep 1) are all carefully contrived schemes of the dark lord to gain power and take control of the republic.

It's a masterfully crafted, fun, and amazing adventure. And that's all we should ever ask of Star Wars. If everyone would just relax and remember how to be a kid again instead of having impossibly high expectations that will NEVER be met, you may all live happier lives.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: For goodness sakes, stop attacking "Clones."
Review: At last check, there were hundreds of reviews for this movie on Amazon.com (certain to swell to thousands), so I won't bore you with plot points. The bottom line? Steven Spielberg had it right: In my view, this is the best "Star Wars" movie since "Empire Strikes Back." Let me explain why. The action sequences are top-notch, and when I say "top-notch," I absolutely mean it. Remember when you were disappointed by the special effects in "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace"? Well, this movie is visually dazzling, a true watermark for effects work. The sound is ear-popping. George Lucas's genius is not in his script-writing or directing skills, but in his extraordinary vision and creativity. Who else could craft a 2-hour-plus epic that encompasses five planets, an enormous D-Day battle between two machine armies, and more stunning visuals than the first entire "Star Wars" trilogy? George Lucas, that's who. Sure, the script falls short of "Out of Africa," and the budding romance between Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) and Padme Amidala (Natalie Portman) could use some work. But this is a "Star Wars" movie. Raise your hand if you saw "Return of the Jedi" just so that you could feel the love between Han Solo and Princess Leia? Forget about mythology and good vs. evil for a second. The "Star Wars" movies are memorable for many fans primarily because of their "coolness." There are scenes in this movie that are so hip and intense that you almost fall out of your seat. The last forty minutes of this movie present some of the best action in the entire "Star Wars" franchise. Okay, okay, I know I've gotten a little heated, but "Star Wars" is a passionate subject. Forget about what the critics are saying -- see this movie for yourself. Or, when it arrives on DVD, buy it. Watch it with your closest friends. And, by God, get those little-kid cravings out.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Setting the stage for the original three episodes
Review: A very enjoyable show.... it really gives the background for the episodes which follow. You can see the foundation for Princess Leia and Luke, the history of the Jedis and how they work, why Darth moved to the darkside, who the Emperor was, how R2-D2 and his buddy came to Luke's family... just so much. The film really does a good job of introducing all the episodes that follow. The only thing I was a bit turned off by was what I thought was an excessive use of special effects... I almost had the feeling at times that I was watching a cartoon. Even so, I'd recommend that if you liked the first three episodes, you should see this one.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: .....argh.....
Review: I don't expect this review to be some shining gem of insight buried in a sea of frantic praise, so I'm expecting to get a high number of "unhelpful" votes. However, if you are a Luke fan, you may want to read on.

It's too narrow-minded to categorize people, because that often leads to problems, but there are generally two areas of Star Wars fandom: Luke fans and Yoda fans. Luke fans enjoyed the original trilogy for the likeable characters, the intriguing storylines, and the dialogue that included great wit and quotable tidbits. Yoda fans enjoyed the flashy lights and action scenes as well as the more technological aspects of the movie - Yoda fans are the ones who will learn and recite the names of the various spacecrafts and aliens in the story, because to Yoda fans, the true greatness of the original trilogy wasn't in the movies, but in the mythology behind them.

Far be it from me to criticize anybody from either school of thought, but I feel it is important to note the differences between these groups. I am a Luke fan, and that is why I couldn't stand Episode II. However, Yoda fans love it.

My criticisms all derive from the creative aspects from the movie. The dialogue, which was once so great, is now tired and bland, relying on cheap puns or dumb comments. Instead of Han Solo's pithy remarks, we get a close-up of Obi-wan stating the overly obvious "This is not good." This turns out to be a huge problem, as nearly every line in Episode II is poorly written, even when it seems impossible. Somehow, George Lucas even managed to mess up lines like, "How are you?"

The poor dialogue is made worse by unbearable acting. I can only assume that Hayden Christensen was some poor orphan that Lucas felt sorry for, because I don't see any other way such an untalented, ear-piercingly bad actor could get this part. He has no chemisty with Natlie Portman, or Ewan McGregor (Who apparently had a lobotomy since Episode I and can't even match his acting from THAT movie).

Then we look at the characters in this movie. I recall a time when I was young and I saw "Star Wars" for the first time, and Darth Vader was such a bad-*ss villain. He was spooky, surreal, impressive. Luke was admirable, likeable, and a great hero. Han Solo, of course, was the smooth-talking space cowboy. Yoda had pearls of wisdom. Leia was beautiful, but not a wimp. Lando, despite having a brief role, still carried a sense of nobility. Yet in Episode II, we don't even get watered-down versions of these characters.

Which brings me to Yoda. There's a lot of buzz about Yoda's role in this one, and why not? Yoda fans love Yoda, obviously; he is the epitome of what they want. And in this movie, he is especially the epitome of what Yoda fans want. Of course, you'll like it if that's what you want - and feel free to watch.

However, if you aren't deceived by the action scenes and special effects (which are very good, I admit), then you will see that this is a truly bad movie at heart. Luke fans will have to just re-watch their copies of the original trilogy, I suppose...

...and please, please, PLEASE, Mr. Lucas - send your cast back to acting classes.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Big Disappointment
Review: This was a big disappointment for both me and my husband. We have been Star Wars fans since the beginning and were very excited about this new release. My husband was fighting to stay awake during most of the movie, and I was wondering if Kevin Costner helped edit this film. The only saving grace was the special effects at the very end of the movie.

I wish we had saved our money and gone to see Lord of the Rings at the dollar movies instead of wasting money on what should have been a wait for video movie.

This one lacked any of the coolness and heart that Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi have. Interesting that those are the two most popular Star Wars movies and George Lucas had nothing to do with directing them.

We definately won't make the same mistake again; we won't see the final prequal in the theater. Definately a wait for video movie.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Am I in Hell, or again at a horrible blockbuster?
Review: No humor, no originality, no script, no acting, plot is half baked and could be good if it wasn't so formulaic. No excitement, no tension, no character development. Just costumes. Ho hum.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: A well pleaser for Mr. Lucas universe
Review: This instalment of the Star Wars saga is one of the most exciting production since The Empire Strikes Back. A lot of respected american and british film critics slaughter this film because of lack of emploment, poor acting and building substance of the main characters, too much high-tech wizardry, boring and lame. I really enyoy the film, not by the monstrous millionaire propaganda it because the movie follows very well the Lucas intentions to guide us to the most important climatic event, the transformation of Darth Vader. The film has a aceptable cast
with fine and not so good acting. The real improvements are with Ewan McGregor and Cristopher Lee is excellent. Chirstersen and Portman romance works, but I will wait for a big surprise. The polictics, clone experiment,oedipal complex and death it gives not talk , talk ,talk but intersting plotting. It stand by its own feet.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Phantom put to rest
Review: Where to start? The plot? First things first - Jar Jar returns, but his screen time is mercifully short. Darth Maul isn't back. And, for those who haven't heard this a thousand times already, for its flaws, it still beats "Phantom Menace".

The plot - it's been a decade since the events in "Phantom". The fractious intergalactic republic under Chancellor Palpatine is already coming apart at the seams. To keep the republic united, Palpatine seeks both emergency powers from the senate and its consent to form a massive army - the Jedi Knights is stretched too thin. On the republic's capitol of Coruscant, former Queen (now Senator) Amidala arrives to cast her vote on the subject of the grand army, but finds herself targeted. Assigned to guard her are Obi Wan Kenobi, now a Jedi Master, and Anakin Skywalker. A decade older, "Ani" is on the verge of becoming a master, but he's too arrogant and impulsive, and everybody reminds him that he's no Jedi yet. Complicating things for Ani are fears for his mother's safety and that he's heartsick for Amidala (who is now shorter than he is). When another assassination attempt is barely thwarted - following a high-speed chase through the flying streets of Coruscant - the Jedi council split the two up, sending Ani to guard Amidala as she returns home to Naboo while Kenobi tracks down the assassin. While Skywalker and Amidala explore their deepening feelings for each other, Kenobi follows the trail first to the watery world of Kamino (whose buildings and inhabitants seem strangely reminiscent of those in "The Abyss") and then to the fiery desert world of Genosis. On Kamino, Kenobi tangles with the armored warrior and bounty hunter Jengo Fett, and we meet the clone Fett adopts - a young boy named Boba. We soon also meet Count Dooku (Christopher Lee), a renegade Jedi who leads the secessionist forces, but warns Kenobi of a threat even greater than himself. By then, Ani has given into temptation (no, not that temptation) he abandons Naboo and heads off to Tatooine to rescue his mom. When the rescue doesn't turn out right, and in a painfully abbreviated scene, Ani gives into his feelings and lashes out. Skywalker hasn't enough time to grieve or reveal the depths of his emotional torment before Amidala "convinces" him to help her rescue the captured Kenobi on Genosis - which is revealed to be a house a huge warrior-droid factory, seething with welding machines and conveyor belts (ala "The Temple of Doom".) When the rescue attempt ends in failure, an army of Jedi materialize out of nowhere, fighting an army of warrior droids with their lightsabers.

I love Star Wars, so I'll end on a higher note, but start on "What doesn't work" - while fewer of the offensive stereotyped characters get meaningful screen time, Watto is back in a short scene in which his stereotype seems even more overt than in "Phantom". The main characters seem more flesh & blood than they did in "Phantom", but not by much. The lines seem as stilted and leaden as ever, not helped by the predominance of English accents, but the script compensates by giving the characters relationships (even Jango Fett is somebody's father figure; you can almost imagine him giving bounty-hunting lessons to the young boy who will put Harrison Ford on ice). Too many characters do little more than appear (like Jimmy Smits as Bale Organa, or the young teens who will grow up to adopt Ani's son; the republican archivist who appears in one simple scene early on has a simple line, but she delivers it better then Dooku's allies. I kept wishing for her to turn into a Sith Lord). There are plenty of "zoom scenes" (like the podracing in "Phantom"; here it's the car chase thruough the skies of Coruscant, which looks like Times Square, the Ginza District and LA from Blade Runner, followed up by a chase through an Asteroid belt). Too much of "Attack" relies on speed - reducing the heroes to CGI cartoons played back at high speed. Then comes the mindbending epic of climaxes - when, atlast, the Jedi Army finally reveals itself to us: if you've ever seen "Henry the Fifth", imagine Agincourt fought with legions of lightsabers instead of long swords. But, just when it looks like the Jedis will have their moment - the clones appear, and the movie degenerates into another CGI battle - with the valiant Jedi's forced to give the stage over to the faceless clones who seem less animated than the Gungans. C3P0 is back - mostly for ill-timed comic relief (during the onslaught of the Jedi army).

Still, it's Star Wars, and the script reaches for emotional depths not even imagined in "Phantom" with luscious effects and sounds, cluing us in that something big is on the way as "Phantom" never could.


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