Snakeeater III

Rating:
Summary: Who Needs Special Features When You Have BamBam Bigelow?
Review: Yes, boys and girls, our old buddy Soldier is back, this time with a script BASED ON A BOOK ("Rafferty's Rules" by Glenn Duncan)! Whooo! Well, believe it or not, that book was based on an old episode of "Unsolved Mysteries" (I am not making this up). See, this hot, nubile young teenager (Tracy Cook) is abducted by a motorcycle gang and made into their sex-slave (that's the part from "Unsolved.."). But the parents aren't giving up. They decide to hire the craziest cop this side of San Francisco: Soldier Kelly, to hunt down and kill the bikers and bring back the daughter. Soldier takes the job and that's where Soldier runs smack-dab into BAM-BAM BIGELOW! He of the tatooed head and short temper. Remember when he kicked Ric Flair in the crotch at Wrestlemania 9? I always say the presence of a pro-wrestler in the cast is a sign of a true character-driven movie.


Anyway, Soldier tracks the guys down with his new sidekick (what happened to Speedboat?), the small, skinny and ineffective Cowboy (Minor Mustain). Lots of gunfights, cowardly traps inspired no-doubt by late-night readings of "Soldier of Fortune" magazine, and lots of NUDITY! Yes! Nudity is back and back in a big way in Snakeeater 3! The hot daughter is naked most of the film, as is the even sexier exotic dancer, Holly (Holly Chester). Oh, and even Soldier's girlfriend is naked! I'm naked, too! Bam-Bam Bigelow, however, is not naked, so that's good. Regardless, this is actually a darn good, shoot 'em up kind of movie where most of the good guys make it out in the end. Good, harmless fun. Except for the graphic violence. And the bad language. And the nudity. No Special Features so to speak, but lots of Special Forces. Ah, go ahead and BUY IT ALREADY!!!!