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Skyscraper

Skyscraper

List Price: $9.98
Your Price: $9.98
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: NOTHING BUT THE BREAST
Review: SKYSCRAPER is in one word, awful. Anna Nicole Smith wouldn't know how to act, and once you've seen her watermelons once, they're not all that attractive. The two love scenes with the wimpy background songs are some of the worst ever put on celluloid. The acting is all around atrocious, especially Charles Hubere in the role of Fairfax, the Shakespeare spouting rastaman. When Anna spouts off to her cop husband, that she wants a baby, you just wanna stick a binkie in her mouth, but not one as big as hers or she'd gag.
Which is just what one must do to survive this horrifying cinematic waste!

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: an anna nicole smith movie...
Review: This is more of a movie to watch with friends and laugh out loud because it's so bad(like her "reality" tv show).
Also if you are attracted to the way Anna looks(or at least how she USED TO LOOK)then this movie will not disappoint. Lots of nudity...

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: How can any red-blooded American male dislike this movie?
Review: This movie has everything a guy could want! Shootouts, explosions, terrorists, and a nude Anna Nicole Smith. This flick is kinda like a 'Die-Hard', only instead of that ham Bruce Willis running around and evading in a hotel, Anna is. Her acting is good for what the movie really is. But the reason to get this is for her B-O-D-Y. SHE IS SO HOT!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: THIS MAY BE ONE OF THE GREATEST FILMS OF ALL TIME.
Review: THIS MOVIE IS A MUST SEE! THE ACTING, PLOT AND SPECIAL EFFECTS ARE AMAZING. YOU CAN NOT PASS THIS ONE UP. FIVE STARS DOES NOT DO IT JUSTICE.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Fat, Fabulous, and Full of Prescription Drugs!
Review: This movie will go down in history as one of the best "worst" movies ever mad. Anna Nicole looks like she never quit eating fried chicken during the entire shoot. The dialogue and plot are hilarious, and the acting so over-the-top that it makes you want to watch it over and over again. Pay special attention to Anna Nicole's earpiece that was used to feed the actress lines, as set rumors have it that she was in such a drug haze during production she couldn't remember her lines and sometimes had to be propped up! I LOVE IT!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Fat, Fabulous, and Full of Prescription Drugs!
Review: This movie will go down in history as one of the best "worst" movies ever mad. Anna Nicole looks like she never quit eating fried chicken during the entire shoot. The dialogue and plot are hilarious, and the acting so over-the-top that it makes you want to watch it over and over again. Pay special attention to Anna Nicole's earpiece that was used to feed the actress lines, as set rumors have it that she was in such a drug haze during production she couldn't remember her lines and sometimes had to be propped up! I LOVE IT!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: PAINFUL TO WATCH, EVEN MORE PAINFUL TO LISTEN TO
Review: Where do I begin so you can get some idea of this whole bad-version-of-Die-Hard-meets-softcore-porn mess? Let's start with poor pitiful Anna. This wannabe actress is so short on talent, you'll be howling at how bad she is. When she isn't whining her lines with a really bad Southern drawl, then she's pouting her collagen-bloated lips. That's it. That's the extent of her acting. Cue card reading is very evident and rumors that she couldn't remember the lines from the grade-school script are confirmed when an earpiece is noticeable in a couple of scenes. But she's not the only bad actor in this disaster. The supporting cast is full of over-the-top thespians who seem convinced they'll win Oscars for their amateurish performance. The juvenile script doesn't add to this either. Plot gaffes abound. The most glaring is when Anna easily kicks through a window in a building that is supposedly designed to withstand riots and military firepower. Go figure! Then we're treated to a downtown Los Angeles with almost no cars or pedestrians. Although, once the bad guys start plummeting to their deaths and the police finally arrive, then there's traffic everywhere and there are more civilians running around than at a local shopping mall. Continuity is non-existent. After fighting off one of the bad guys, Anna has blood on her right arm and on the right side of her face. A couple of scenes later, the blood is gone. Then it reappears on the left side of her face. And despite all her fighting, her long fingernails never break or chip. What a woman! The whole thing becomes so pathetic, you wonder who edited this. Even the three nude scenes (which have nothing to do whatsoever with the rest of the story) end up being more comical than erotic. One interesting comment: in a storyline that supposedly takes place in one day, Anna actually gains weight between the time the movie starts and the final scene. Looks like she was visiting the fridge a little too often between takes. A sad, sad piece of wasted celluloid.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: ONE OF THE ALL TIME GREATS
Review: Why this film failed to be nominated for and win an academy award is beyond me; surely the academy is biased when it chose Shakespeare in Love over this to-be classic.

If anything, Ms. Smith's breasts add to the quality of her fine acting and are not a detriment as other reviewers have suggested.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: SKYSCRAPER: bargain-basement entertainment!
Review: Ye Gods! After hearin' from so many folks about how bad this flick is-- and after hearing a few audio outtakes from the opening scene that Howard Stern played on his radio show-- I knew I just hadda give 'Skyscraper' a looksee! Hey what can I say; I'm a glutton for punishment when it comes to craptacular cinema. Anyhoo, I pretty much knew them folks were right about how lame this flick was the moment I caught Anna-Nicole's glossy-blood-red-painted-nailed hand workin' the control stick of her chopper during the opening credits sequence! The rest of the proceedings pretty much followed the plot & story line of 'Die Hard' to a 'T'... except not nearly as well-done or as well-acted. Or with as big a pyrotechnics budget. And if you're wonderin' 'bout what parallels there are between 'Skyscraper' and 'Die Hard'-- or, to be more accurate, stuff that 'Skyscraper' baldly ripped right off of 'Die Hard'-- I'll throw ya several examples:

- The bad guys blow up a few floors of the building they're holed up in to show folks they mean business.

- One of the heavies takes a bazooka shot to a couple of would-be rescuers.

- The main heavy's minions can't seem to get their sorta Euro-sounding accents straight. The primary example of the inconsistent linguistics is the computer-hacker henchman whose brogue is primarily French-sounding, but also seems to slip in a bit of British and German here 'n' there.

- The heavies (yep, them again) use the building's central computer & security system to seal the skyscraper off from the outside world as well as track the movement of its occupants.

- One weasely hostage tries to wheel-&-deal his way to freedom with the head heavy, but winds up gettin' a bullet through a vital organ for his troubles.

- Anna-Nicole's character does the "escape-from-the-heavies-by-rappelling-down-the-side-of-the-building-and-crashing-through-a-window-on-a-lower-floor" deal with a window-washing-scaffolding line; much like Willis' character did with a reel of emergency fire hose.

There're plenty more examples I could give, but I'm gonna leave it up to you to pick 'em out... if you dare! Needless to say, watchin' this 96-minute-long cheese-fest left me with an immense feeling of déjà vu...

Finally, we come to the star of this catastrophe: Anna-Nicole Smith, whose incessantly-pouty mug and ditzed-up southern drawl showed me why she never became a major force in Hollywood. Her less-than-enthusiastic recitation of her lines and that constant expression of sullen disgust (probably from her downers wearin' off) didn't help matters, either. And don't even get me started on her nudie/boink scenes, which featured far more plastic than actual flesh, with a nice dollop of hydrogen peroxide thrown in for good measure.

Anyhoo, time for me to wind this review up. Now that I've steeled myself by watching this unholy hellspawn of a mo-pic, I'm pretty sure I can endure 'Leonard Part 6'.

Wish me luck folks...

'Late


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