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A.I. Artificial Intelligence (Full Screen Special Edition)

A.I. Artificial Intelligence (Full Screen Special Edition)

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: The second worst film ever made.
Review: This is the second worst film ever made, (when you factor in budget, of course). It's truly a film for the stupid. This review contains some spoilers.

1. (semi-spoiler) There is a scene where the android boy decides to try and eat, which he's incapable of, and damages himself. I'm a computer programmer. If you want your machine to not eat, the solution is very simple: program it not to.

2. (semi-spoiler) There is a scene where the android boy holds a human boy underwater in a simming pool. I'm a computer programmer. If you want your machine to not hurt humans, the solution is very simple: program it not to.

3. (spoiler) There is a scene where the gigilo android discovers that a woman has been murdered and goes on the run because he's afraid he will be accused of the crime. Three problems here: 1. The android surely must be programmed not to hurt humans, and if so, that will be determinable by examining his programming. 2. Even if he wasn't programmed not to, there surely must be a way to "replay" his activity- to view his memory. Hell, with today's technology you could store a month's worth of video on a microdrive that's the size of your finger. Surely anyone who designs an android will make it record at least the last 24 hours of what it's seen. 3. An android maker would surely not allow it the ability to go "on the run". Rather, it would "return home if there's trouble".

4. (spoiler) Finally, the movie ends with the pinnacle of absurdity, a ludicrous creme de la creme. The android boy is revived after a few thousand years and androids of the future are able to glean information from within the molecules of him. That by itself is not so bad, sure, I can believe such a technology could exist. Maybe.

But the information only lasts 24 hours. Seriously, I'm not kidding, that's what happens. The information "lasts 24 hours and is gone forever".

I laughed so hard that an usher came over to me. One other guy was laughing too a few rows over.

5. Finally, the film is entirely about the boy's relationship with his adopted mom. That's fine, but what about the importance of loving the father? The dad is just an incidental character. I can understand wanting to "focus" on the mother, but the fact that the film doesn't even see it as a PROBLEM to address somewhere, that seeking love from the father is totally ignored, demonstrates poor writing. Unethical.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: What a good topic wasted.
Review: I think this movie was Spielberg's first attempt to become artsy. However, it is a regret that Spielberg is still a traditional "hero's journey" director in Hollywood. This film could have been better if it were made with more suitable visions from directors like Ridley Scott, Terry Gilliam, Luc Besson, or perhaps, Stanley Kubrick.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: This is brilliant
Review: This is the greatest film ever made. it is superb. there is not one bad thing about this film. if you hate it you are a turkey neck.
Bexhill high sucks

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Grotesquely Manipulative
Review: Could have been a thought-provoking vehicle in the right hands. Unfortunately, this is an absolutely abysmal effort.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: His Love is Real. He is not.
Review: Like many great directors, Speilburg's versatility contues to amaze. Not content to break box-office records and bring home the horrors of the battlefield, Speilburg decided to finish a project long left unfinished that he had collaborated on with the controversial genius Stanley Kubrick. The result, while far from popular with mainsteam moviegoers, is a landmark science-ficiton fillmsure to be remembered long after the blockbusters of the moment have faded from memory.

This film is about many things. It is about people who are becoming more like animals, and machines who are becoming more like human beings. It is about technology, obsolescence, and the stagnation and ruin an ideology of convenience and leisure inevitably leads to. But most of all, this is a story about a boy who is a machine and yet dreams of becoming "a real boy". David, played to perfection by Haley Joel Osment (perhaps the greatest child actor in history), goes through an incredible spiritual journey in his personal quest to become what he feels he must in order to win the love a human mother. At first quite an awekward "mecha", once the magic words to make him bond with a human are spoken, David finds himself victim to the unconditional love that a child feels for it's parent; a love that can never be switched off. As a result of this programming (and what is love if not instinct, and instinct if not programming?), and David's rivalry with the son he was once meant to replace, David becomes our eyes into a vision of the future, a world where the mechanical show more kindness and compassion thaqn their creators (the kindness of a french-maid mecha facing her demise had tears welling up in my eyes), and the unwanted almost-human are tortured, hunted down and executed for public spectacle (in perhaps the most disturbing part of the film).

Really, David's joruney is a metaphor for the story of Pinnochio, but also a metaphor for the journey that every human being must go through in their life and search for happiness. While some might dislike te ending of this film, I found it enjoyable and immensely profound. Like the rest of this picuture, the final scenes call to mind more questions than they answer.

Throughout the movie, questions came flooding to my mind. What is the differnce between programming and instinct? What is love really? If emotional look real, are they real? And perhaps the greatest question, (which concludes this mind-trip of a film) if love feels real, does it matter whether or not it is an illusion? Everyone should see this film.


Rating: 5 stars
Summary: dark big budget movie
Review: Haley Joel Osment is amazing in this movie. I would say he is a child prodigy. His character is a robot who is programmed to unconditionally love his "parents". Unfortunately his parents are creeped out by him and leave him in the woods to fend for himself. So this robot who has been programmed to love this couple has been abandoned and he's like a salmon swimming upstream - doesn't know what to do with himself. It's twisted. It's Kubrick's "2001 - A Space Odyssey" turned on it's head - the robot is the victim. The special effects are amazing - Manhattan under water, the animatronic bear. Towards the end you keep thinking the movie is about to end - yet there is another scene...but the last scene is heartrbreaking. It's a chilling Kubrick movie shown through the eyes of commercial boxoffice E.T. director Steven Spielberg. The ying and yang of both directors visions are brilliant. Only Spielberg could have gotten the budget for such an off-beat movie. It's kind a cross between Pinochio and Wizard of Oz - but dark. Haley Joel Osment gives an amazing nuanced performance. Just looking in Haley's eyes - he is able to convey intelligence and feelings far beyond someone his age. I highly recommend this dark fairytale.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: The Worst Movie Ending of All-Time
Review: Though many might not agree, I feel this is one of the worst movies ever made and easily has the worst angonizingly prolonged unrealistic ending of any movie. The last 20 minutes of the movie will have any intelligent viewers moaning in disbelief and saying "they couldn't possibly make that plot twist" only to watch even worse, more emotionally manipulative sequences transpire on screen. I often rate other terrible movies by how many times I could watch them again before I could sit through A.I. one more time. No other movie has a score lower than 4, meaning I'd rather watch that dreadful movie 4 times in a row rather than watch A.I. again. I'd rather watch 16 hours of Jar Jar Binks doing a dance/song interpretaion of the U.S. Constituition than watch A.I. again. Please save yourself from this movie and get something intelligent, like La Femme Nikita, The Professional, Brother of Sleep, Welcome to the Dollhouse, Croupier, Rounders, Little Voice, or American Psycho.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Trust Spielberg to come up with this project...
Review: Originally conceived by Stanley Kubrick, Spielberg completely turns the axle on its head and makes a fairy-tale of it. Trust no one but Spielberg to have come out with this for a screenplay. The movie is a sort of E.T. meets Blade Runner meets Frankenstein meets Wizard of Oz, and in a sort of weird futuristic way which extends into the oddball future. If you looking for a fable of human self-destruction, Frankenstein fares better, though as a dystonia, the film gives tantalizing recreations into the bizarre future (was Kubrick the originator of those visions though?). Haley Joel Osment gives an affecting performance as the android-child who longs to be real, and the two other robots (ie. the teddy and the slick-haired giggolo) are both companions who grows on you. It's pointless to ask *what* Spielberg is trying to say, its the usual kitsch-plus-movie-magic that Spielberg so excels in giving us, and it's not hard again to see the movie's lineage to the adult fairy-tales E.T., Hook etc. What else do you expect with Spielberg as the screenwriter? A Spielberg film through and through.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Tiring and tedious
Review: A.I. marks Steven Spielberg's return to fantastical storytelling, depicting a futuristic society in which androids are created as servants for people. The Sixth Sense's Haley Joel Osment stars as David, the first android child (and the first android programmed to love), who is given to a couple as an experiment after their natural son falls into a coma.

Sadly, A.I. is a boring film interspersed with scenes incomprehensibly weird (originally conceived by the late Stanley Kubrick, his influence is clearly evident) or sequences that are extremely dark and disturbing. Thus, despite promotions as a magical fable, it is not suitable for anyone under the age of 12.

A.I. also suffers from a misguided vision that tries to blend together too many elements. Lacking originality, it borrows heavily from Bicentennial Man, Blade Runner, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Waterworld and Spielberg's own Close Encounters, all of which developed their storylines and themes in a much more exciting and dramatic manner.

The movie also parallels Pinocchio, as David sets out to find the Blue Fairy so he can become a "real" boy. (It's surprising that 'When You Wish Upon a Star' was not used as background music -- but, of course, Spielberg already did that in CE3K.) Along the way, Osment is joined by Jude Law as a cocky android gigolo who forms an unlikely attachment to the boy. Together, their journey takes them to a sexual playground called Rouge City, the ruins of New York, and an arena not unlike the Roman Colosseum -- instead of feeding Christians to lions, spectators cheer as outdated android models are executed in a variety of horrific ways.

One would expect to find some interesting personalities in a world so dramatically different from our own, but the film is populated by a collection of annoying and one-dimensional characters. The vapid and shallow culture of the future does include some rather unique accessories and vehicles, but clothing that is distinctly twentieth-century.

Overall, A.I. is far too melodramatic and offers little point or punch in its weak message about our need to love. Spielberg's biggest disappointment since Hook, the film is also spoiled by the 'Once upon a time' fairytale narration, and an abundance of questions that are left unanswered.

The conclusion, set 2000 years after the main events in the film, is far too long in coming...it seems like you have to wait two millenia for a pay off that never delivers. One thinks back to the arena where unneeded androids are blown out of cannons -- so, too, should the entire effort for this tiring and tedious film. Rating: 3 out of 10


Rating: 2 stars
Summary: So Much Potential...But Doesn't Work
Review: For any mature adult or person, they can see no doubt that this movie has so many in depth and profound themes that are somewhat haunting and intriguing, and yet beautiful and a bit ambiguous at the same time. I give 5 stars for the originality and message of this film. The only problem is that it eventually goes from being...interesting...to... okay...to... is it over yet?..then to... C'MON, WE GET THE PICTURE, WHEN IS THIS STORY EVER GOING TO END! This movie is just too slow and too long. It eventually becomes quite a bore, and gets kind of silly, weird, and just pointless. This movie had so much potential, the conception of it is brilliant, and yet it comes off as being disappointing because 1) it's not complete, 2) it's not comprehensible all the way, and 3) eventually you lose interest in the movie all together. Too bad.


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