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The Musketeer

The Musketeer

List Price: $14.98
Your Price: $13.48
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Okay but not great
Review: I didn't think this movie was as bad as the other reviewers here, and overall, I thought the swordplay and fight scenes were actually not too bad, speaking as someone who has trained in both eastern and western swordsmanship and knows at least something about it.

The fight scenes were a little rushed, though, and I probably would have paced them a little better, myself, but I really didn't mind that too much.

I liked the fight scene with the ladders at end--granted, not a realistic portrayal of how they would fight in those times--and reminiscent of a similar scene in the "Xena, Warrior Princess" series--but still, done fairly well, I thought, despite the fact that you're not sure how the Tim Roth character dies as the end, when he slides down the ladder head first toward Chambers.

After this I'm going to rent the recent remake of the Three Musketeers movie, and see how it compares with this movie. Maybe it will be better.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: How did this happen?
Review: If you have any respect for a story, characters or an era...DONT WATCH THIS. The names resemble the characters from a classic story written by Andre Dumas. This is about as far as the similarity goes. This is a big budget disaster. Did they try to keep it real by lighting the night scenes with candles? It provides a washed out set which might have been its redeeming feature.
Dumas is turning in his grave.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Disappointing
Review: This has to be one of the most disappointing films I have ever seen. So, if you're expecting the film to resemble Alexandre Dumas' The Three Musketeers, the classic novel on which the movie is based, you will be sadly mistaken. (Dumas, on the other hand, must be turning in his grave.) The opening credits should have been a clue for what was to come because instead of being pulled into the film I felt as though I were being lulled to sleep. I don't know what the director or editor was thinking by flashing pictures on the screen during the opening credits because for a moment there I thought I was watching a slide show.

The script itself was far from intriguing because it droned on much like the monotone delivery of leading actor Justin Chambers. Worse still, because Chambers didn't have a French accent he couldn't even pronounce his own character's name, D'Artagnan, correctly. So, the authenticity of the movie was immediately questioned because of this glaring oversight. (Chambers began his career as a model. Surely he could have invested some of his money on a vocal coach.)

Speaking of unconvincing-the fight scenes were highly forgettable not only because of the choreography, but because of the directing. The sequences felt so rushed that the audience barely had enough time to absorb the choreography. In addition, a few of the stunts reminded me of the gravity defying feats often seen on episodes of Xena: Warrior Princess. The most hilarious spectacle, however, had to be the final fight scene-a laughable duel on teetering ladders. I thought this was supposed to be a period piece, not a fantasy movie.

The only thing that made the film tolerable was the convincing 17th century atmosphere that was created by the constant use of torch lighting, the beautiful wardrobe collection, and the sets. Other than that, the screenplay was bland, the leading actor was unexciting, and the fight scenes were unsatisfying. (I still can't believe it was released on DVD. Can anyone say, "Straight to video"?)

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Unique achievement...
Review: ...although a dubious one: this movie somehow manages to make Alexandre Dumas boring. I know how Hollywood works, so I didn't go into this movie expecting the cinematic equivalent of a literary masterpiece. Hell, I wasn't even expecting it to be 100% faithful to Dumas' work. But I DID expect to be entertained, and the movie failed that expectation miserably. The plot completely failed to engage me...to put it simply, it just wasn't exciting. I spent the majority of the movie wondering when it would be over and I could go home (and for the record, if I had paid for the ticket, I would have demanded my money back). The fight scenes were okay, I suppose, if you could get past the incongruity of a Frenchman of that time period mastering martial arts, but they were brief and poorly filmed. I might consider tempering my review with the fact that I don't really care that much for mindless action movies if it weren't for the fact that my boyfriend, who does like mindless action movies, found this movie as boring as I did.

The scenery and the costumes were good, and Justin Chambers isn't bad on the eyes despite his lack of acting ability, and good actors like Tim Roth, Catherine Deneuve, Mena Suvari, and Stephen Rea turned in decent performances despite the poor lack of material to work with, but overall this movie was a waste of film.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Lackluster waste of time
Review: Many reviewers have done an excellent job detailing the shortcomings of this movie. I wish I would have looked here before renting it. On the plus side, The Musketeer has some nice looking sets and some well lit scenes. On the negative side, the lead actor is awful, the script trite and humorless, the whole presentation is just bland and unengaging. I didn't even like Tim Roth, who is just too sickeningly evil and even HE can't bring the part to life. Worst of all was the action choreography and editing. The fighting was so poorly staged and cut that I had to go back 2 or 3 times just to figure out what happened. Did anybody storyboard this stuff out? Why do these filmakers think they need to cut the action so fast? You rarely get a good look at the Musketeer when he's fighting. I quit watching after the 2/3 point.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Miserable Piffle-- Dumas Would Weep in Frustration
Review: I join with the other reviewers who have condemned this terrible film for its sins of omission and commission. Giving this "thing" one star is too much praise. The title "The Musketeer" immediately brings to mind the Dumas classic, which is everything that this movie is not. Dumas created memorable characters, adventure, action, and romance. Although "The Three Musketeers" is not great literature, it is a well-told story of a young man coming of age as he makes his way in the world. In contrast, the movie, "the Musketeer", is tedious and a travesty on every level. Cynical, badly written, with no real plot, and a feckless, unconvincing, pretty boy carrying the lead role of D'Artagnan, this film is vapid and confused failure. Could this film be any worse? Not possible. This is simply one of the worst films I have ever seen.

For comparison: see "Robin Hood" with Errol Flynn in the lead. A classic. And if you haven't read "The Three Musketeers" by Dumas, give it a try. My 12 year old son and I read "The Three Musketeers" while on vacation and together loved every moment of the book.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: The worst ever
Review: This is absolutely the worst 17th century movie I have ever seen.
Words cannot describe how much it revolted me.
They could do a better job if they would not try to make a film at all.
If halfway through the movie, the actors began to turn into lizards, it would not have surprised me.
Controlling the urge to vomit was hard to say the least.
As an armourer, reenactor, historian, and having studied the sword arts for more than two decades, I can honestly say that I believe in my own heart that Micky Mouse could have played the lead role and the little pigs could have been the Three Musketeers, which by the way, we do not even get to know the Musketeers in the movie, due to the focus being on superhuman acts of levitation and flight.
But if you must watch it, please bear in mind that this movie is pure fantasy when it comes to any historical value and I would not recommend it even to children if you ever want them to learn "real" storylines, from "real" books, based on "real" history.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: At least the title was right
Review: THE musteteer was about "A" musteteer. The whole story was horrible. You don't have to be a fan of the older Musteteer movies to know this was BAD. My advise is to watch the 15 second preview of the movie. This displays the best action that takes place in the entire movie and you can't tell just how bad the acting was. I wish I never wasted my time watching it and I was able to watch it free. Just don't bother with this one.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: All For Naught ...
Review: This ... um ... "adaptation" owes far more to the Hong Kong cinema of Jackie Chan than it does to the seminal work of Alexandre Dumas. Indeed, the credits on the DVD flap do not even credit Dumas's work as the inspiration for the script.

Mastering the one-note delivery and obvious graduate of the Evelyn Wood School for Former Models Turned Actors, newcomer Justin Chambers keeps his delivery monotone while promising upstart Mena Suvari is absolutely wasted. It's hard to tell if even the action is enjoying as horrible lighting and cinematography waste nearly even frame of it.

As a side interest as to how bad this film truly is, everyone in the flick has an accent of European accent EXCEPT for the two young American leads, making them appear dreadfully out of place.

Honestly, don't bother.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: GLAAD I only rented it.
Review: Wow, now here is an accomplishment, this has to have been the most lazily made movie I have ever seen. In fact, it would have made a perfect parody if it were funny. The script appears to have been a phone in, if that. Every plot point and piece of dialog here is really just an excuse to get to another fighting or otherwise monotonous action sequence. And the fighting scenes are about exactly what you'd expect from seemingly having had about 10 minutes total spent on each of them (2 minutes = choreography, 2 minutes = rehearsal, 6 minutes = filming). Also, if you are looking for breaks in this block of writing that would be meant to represent new paragraphs, you aren't going to find them. Uh uh, not here, this is a concept piece-- I plan on putting just as much effort into this review as the entire crew put into the making of The Musketeer. Anyhoo, moving on. The score, the score, the score...the score is...um, how do you say...dog [explitive deleted]. No, no, no, that's not true, my dog could probably take a [explitive deleted] more passionate than this film's score. Now, I have a confession to make, I cry during motion pictures. Action, comedy, drama, it really doesn't matter, show me emotions and I will show you a little dampness around the eyes. That little bit of unpleasantness disclosed, I didn't shed a single tear during The Musketeer. Casting? Well, you know, it has Mena Suvari, you can't really go wrong there-- but what about the lead, you ask? Well he was a model plucked from Calvin Klein ads. Says the director (also male): "I spent a couple of hours alone with him and decided he was perfect for the role." Well, I think that pretty much sums that up. Not to say that the movie is homosexual or is in any trying to be representative of homosexuals. Oh hades no, if that were the case GLAAD would have sued them for misrepresentation. Have I missed anything I wanted to say? Ahhh, [explitive deleted] it, who really cares. If I cared enough about this movie to at least hate it, I could probably give it a halfway decent bad grade, but I don't.


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