Rating: 
Summary: Make up your own pun about this dredd-ful movie...
Review: I have always known that Slyvester Stallone had limitations as an actor, but I have to admit I was rather surprised that he could not play Arnold Schwarzenegger. Listen to the dialogue when the title character in "Judge Dredd" shows up on the scene and I think it is pretty clear that lines like "I am the law" were written for Ah-nold to growl rather than Sly. I have no evidence to support such a conclusion, like we do for the part of the Wizard in �The Wizard of Oz� being written for W.C. Fields, but I remain convinced that Schwarzenegger would have been better suited to carrying off the opening scene. �Judge Dredd� is based on a British comic book of a dystopian future where police officers have become �judges� who are judge, jury and executioner rolled into one. As such it was part of the British disposition towards predicting a fascist future found in works from George Orwell�s classic novel �1984� to Alan Moore and David Lloyd comic book mini-series �V for Vendetta.� For the most part the �Judge Dredd� comics were highlighted by the distinctive artwork of Brian Bolland more than anything else. The film presents a future that is so violent, with Megacities engaged in constant battles called Block Wars, that even the Judges, with their authority and power to summarily execute criminals, are considered to be unable to handling the problem. Judge Griffin (Jürgen Prochnow) wants to expand the authority of the Judges so that they can execute more criminals for lesser crimes and in a film like this you know such goals are not idle ideological discourse. There is a conspiracy at work and suddenly Dredd (Stalone) is arrested and convicted for a crime that he did not commit. The deed was perpetrated by Rico (Armand Assante), a former Judge who was sent to prison by Dredd. But, as with all such movie conspiracies, there is much more to the plot than Dredd knows, involving even his father figure, Chief Justice Fargo (Max won Sydow). Judge Dredd has two decidedly different sidekicks in this film, Judge Hershey (Diane Lane), who tries to defend him in court, and career petty criminal Herman Ferguson (Rob Schneider), who ends up with him on the street trying to stay alive and figure out the conspiracy. They have relatively little to do in the film besides spout dialogue intended to provide exposition, comic relief, and chip away at Dredd�s gruff exterior to eventually find a spark of humanity. It is a sad film that wastes the talents of both Diane Lane and Rob Schneider. �Judge Dredd� works best during its action sequences, when the title character is too busy to speak, because sooner or later he utters the film�s wretched punch line, �I knew you�d say that,� and you have to roll your eyes and wait for the next action sequence to distract you. In its defense, it should be pointed out that there is a lot of action in the film, which never lets up long enough for you to make the conscious effort to stop watching. The conspiracy is predictable enough that when characters sketch out the details in-between Dredd's rampages it is enough to connect the dots. Just do not try and figure out the film�s ideological position on law and order issues in the real world.
Rating:
Summary: Get demolition man instead
Review: Sylvester Stallone is Dredd - one of an elite force of super-soldiers who assume the roles of judge, jury and (not infrequently) executioner in the futuristic megalopolis of Mega-City. With most of Earth reduced to a barren and virtually uninhabitable desert (called "The Cursed Earth"), those who wish to survive squeeze themselves into huge but cramped "Megacities" like the one policed by Dredd. Though full of flying cars and other futurama, Megacity's overpopulation problem has turned it into an urban hell, forcing the city's leaders to take drastic steps. Whether looking to expand capital punishment to include "lesser crimes" or to re-start a shadowy program called Janus, the most bellicose of the city's leaders, Griffin (played by Jurgen Prochnow) is willing to overcome any obstacle - the first being Dredd himself. Griffin hooks up with Rico (Armand Assante), a former justice who was exiled to a nasty, high-security prison in Aspen when he turned vigilante. Sprung, Rico returns to Megacity and frames Dredd for the murder of an exploitive Geraldo-like TV reporter (judges are equipped with personalized weapons that imprint a record of their DNA on every round fired). With Dredd out of the way, Rico and Griffin touch off a crime-wave - one Griffin is sure to bend the council to his plans. Little does he know that Rico has plans of his own. Both suffer a shock when Dredd manages to escape enroute to Aspen, and re-enters the city. Unfortunately, unlike all of the character in this flick, the script itself has no plans of its own, and the story never arises from being a pastiche of countless action movies (including "Demolition Man" in which Stallone was a lot more fun). Though it's got great visuals, the plot meanders around, never coming together before the explosions kick off. Besides, it takes more than CGI to astound us now. Rob Schneider plays the comic relief and the lovely Diane Lane plays the anonymous love interest. Armand Assante tries to heat things up as Rico, but his over-the-top delivery just reminds us how much more fun we had watching "Demolition Man". This flick would have been much more fun if it took itself a bit less seriously.
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