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Universal Soldier - The Return

Universal Soldier - The Return

List Price: $9.95
Your Price: $9.95
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Utterly Pathetic. So Bad it Defies Belief.
Review: I have seen some Bad Action movies in my time, but nothing could have prepared me for "Universal Soldier - The Return". It makes your average Straight-to-Video Action film look like "Die Hard".

Once Again, Van Damme Surrounds himself with Poor Actors so he looks All the Better. Only Michael Jai White Stands a Cut above the Rest as the Super villain. Goldberg's is one of the most Moronic, Annoying Performances I've Ever Seen in my Entire Life. Every time he Opens his Mouth, a Plethora of Crap Dialogue and Horrendous Acting follows. Some may blame the Dialogue, but many films in this genre have Bad Dialogue, it's the Actors Job to make it sound good, Sadly, Goldberg is No Actor.

"Universal Soldier 2 - The Return" has, on the surface, Everything a By-the-Book Action Flick Needs, the Obligatory scene at a Strip Joint, (here they have to go there to use their Computer... Try to Stomach That) The Love Interest (an Exact Copy of the Love Interest in the Original, but Far more Aggravating) and Plenty of Action... (one such scene includes a Wrestling match with Goldberg against 2 Hospital Orderlies that are Bigger and more Muscular than Van Damme and Goldberg Combined) It's a Shame that the Action is Poorly Shot, Poorly Edited, Poorly Conceived, Poorly Timed, Poorly Choreographed, and Poorly Performed.

If you've Seen the Film, you know what I'm Talking about, If you Haven't seen it; you haven't the Faintest Idea what I'm Talking About. There is No Reason I can Think of to Recommend this film to Anyone, except maybe people who like to Torture themselves. But Average Joe's like Me, if you are Listening... Run, Run Away from this Movie, Don't Even Look at the Cover... If it's One your TV, Smash your TV, if a Friend Hires it, Get New Friends, If Van Damme Himself Pleads with you to Watch it, Chastise him for me and Every Other fan of the Truly Classic Original "Universal Soldier", a film that will Never be the same Again.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Can a movie get any worse?
Review: Talk about how poor double team was ''DAMME'' this was a bad movie.Everything was bad the acting the story everything some of the fighting scenes were ok but thats about it.Van Damme at his worst don't buy this movie or rent it.The movie got so boring i felt like turning it off and stomping on it (but i rented it i couldnt do that)so i decided to watch more of it and when i woke up from falling alseep on my chair i saw the very end of the movie where van damme was fighting seth that was the best fighting scene in the movie then i turned the movie off and went to sleep the next day i found out that i didn't miss anything while i was sleep but some more bad acting and bad love scenes goldberg was pathetic in that movie it wasn;t even funny and his jokes didn't make me laugh.I took that stupid movie back i almost felt like breaking it while i took it in blockbuster i was so mad i wanted my 2 bucks back really really really REALLY bad i didn't think it was a movie then i thought it was a person who decided to torture us with bad acting.Don't ever see this movie its a waste of your time if you do youll be like ''dang he told me not to watch it'' don't beileve any of ''the movie was ok'' that movie........... bad i don't feel good when i think about it this movie was that bad.Theres only one way to buy this movie if you have an enemy who you dont want to hurt physically you could always tell them to watch the movie (thats if you really want to waste your 2 bucks on trash)i dont even feel like typing this and i dont feel good now it brings back the memories of how bad this film was i just wish a scientest would just erase this film out of my memory it was so bad i dont even want it to be in my brain for the rest of my life Literally

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: One of these gulity pleasure sequels, you enjoy.
Review: The Plot:After 13 years. Luc(Jean Claude Van Damme) is having an normal life, he has a twelve year old daughter, a job for the military and he more human than ever but he lost his wife from the first film. Everything is about to fall about when Seth(Micheal Jai White), a supercomputer controlled warrior, has control another Unisols to save and defend themselves. But they are dangerous, will be anything sent they goals. But Luc how to stop them, because he was the original Unisol. Bill Goldberg steals the film, when he appears in a scene, he gives an outrageous entertaining comic performance as Romeo, he`s one of the Unisols in the film.

DVD`s has a good anomorphic widescreen(1.85:1) transer and Pan & Scan is also alivable. Excellent Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround with Strong .1 Lfe Bass just like Original Universal Soldier DVD. Including 3 Different Feaurette and Theatrical Tralier.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: I have some concerns
Review: The first movie was a neat action flick with a simple plot. This is garbage. NO... the fight with Mario Van Peebles was good the fight between Van Damme and Bill Goldberg (playing re-animated corpes based cyborg Romeo) that fight was okay, but using terrible camera shots to make it look like Goldberg could throw a high sidekick, which no one really expects him to do. That's bad. or kicking a super-soldier into a dryer and turning it on rendering him powerless. That also is bad.

Or the fact that common hospitol security looks like navy seals built like Goldberg and are allowed to work without sleeves and show off their tattoos, or here's a good one... Van Damme's charicter (he is alive in this one) is held in the air by his neck from a reannimated soldier, in a dying effort he grabs hospitol shock pads, and while the soldier is still holding onto his neck he with 3,000 volts, SHOCKS THE SOLDIER!! Van Damme's charicter is fine. The soldier who is supposed to have unlimited pain tolerance is stunned and lets go only to stand still and wait for blows. It's subtle things like these that concern me about this movie.

It is not charming, or cool. All the fights except the final two are jokes. The robotic charicter of the blank soldiers is lost as these cyborgs make wise cracks, check out the ladies and hold grudges. Not the traumatic life into death type of grudges but the "he beat me in the simulater game room and I want him to know that Im better" type grudges. This also concerns me.

If I could grade only mario van peebles's performance (one fight) I'd say five stars. but with all of these additional concerns I cant lawfully give it more than two.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: VAN DAMME THIS SUCKS!
Review: I bought this garbage thinking it would be a decent film to watch , i was very wrong .the things the characters say and do are so lame , predictable, stupid, example:when the computer called SETH goes haywire they try to cut the power by flipping the GIANT on/off switch,I laughed so hard i was crying.you would think the director would have some cool stunts up his sleeve since he worked on lethal weapon 4 recently, but, no such luck here.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: 40 minutes of great action!
Review: "Universal Soldier: The Return" isn't what you think it might be if you saw the original Universal Soldier movie that starred Van Damme. Jean-Claude Van Damme is not one of the universal soldiers in this movie, he's a human going up against many evil universal soldiers including wrestling star, Goldberg, and Seth (martial artist, Michael Jai White).

"Universal Soldier: The Return" isn't really a good movie, but it does have a lot of good special effects, and fighting sequences. The first 50 minutes of the movie isn't that great, but the last 40 minutes of the movie is some of the best action and fighting sequences I've seen in awhile. If you like Van Damme movies or movies with some good action, I recommend seeing "Universal Soldier: The Return."

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Below one star
Review: If you are a real Universal Soilder fan don't be tempted with this dissapointing sequel. Bad acting, bad special effects, bad humor and just about bad every thing. Not good, but a good Van Dan movie. Just not the Universal Soilder movie. Not as nearly good as the first.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: This is NOT Universal Soldier 2
Review: I would like to clarify that this is NOT UNIVERSAL SOLDIER 2. Many reviews mention that this is US2 but they are wrong. There IS a US2 which does not include Van Damme - but this is not it.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: A Good Action Movie!
Review: This was definitely a beyyer movie than the original Universal Soldier. Van Damme plays the role of the hero very effectively. Michael Jai White plays the role of Seth in a human body to the point of being scary. Bill Goldberg ia also a very effective villain in his role as Romeo. This small army of super soldiers are turned bad by Seth the super computer. The main killer soldier, played by Goldberg, wreaks havoc. Seth the super computer takes on a human body and openly begins a manhunt for Van Damme because he has the secret computer code that Seth has to have. After battles all over the landscape Van Damme finally prevails. This is a good action movie with entertaining actors. See this film for entertainment purposes.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Good Action, Bad Plot
Review: I enjoyed the original Universal Soldier, but like most sequels, this one has much to be desired. I'm a big wrestling fan, so it was fun to watch Goldberg attempt to act out of the ring. He's about as talented actor as Van Damme himself (heh). The movie has a lot of action, so it gets some high points there, but the story line really isn't that good. It's an entertaining movie, but the original is far superior.


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