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Universal Soldier - The Return

Universal Soldier - The Return

List Price: $9.95
Your Price: $9.95
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 2 stars
Summary: A Real Letdown
Review: The original Universal Soldier film was not a bad movie, but this one is. There was a half decent cast, but a terrible story and plot line.

I was really looking forward to this sequel, but was disappointed big time. Van Damme was getting towards the end of his action career, but still was able to give an ok performance. Michael Jai White was an ok support role, but not quite enough to play the major villain alone (did anybody else notice that he played a soldier in the original film?). Bill Goldberg was a risky choice for his first movie roll, but he seemed to do well in the intimidating character he played.

The story line was terrible. The whole film takes place inside one warehouse in about 3-4 hours of elapsed time. It is just not enough when considering the plot and the characters. A bad plot combined with an ok cast is a script for doom.

This movie could have been so much better. It fell short in many ways. The first film had a decent story line with a change of scenery every now and then, this had none. This is the kind of film you'd expect to go straight to video. It didn't look like it cost a lot to make. If you're a heavy metal fan you might like this film's music, if not you won't care much for it.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Stupid "sequel" fails for the most part...
Review: This film marked the end of Van Damme's theatrical release career and started him on the road to being forgotten, finding parts in only direct-to-video flicks. It's a shame, really. Van Damme was actually getting good, but this flick doesn't show it. Full of cliches and silly action, not helped by an appearence from wrestler Bill Goldberg, this film is too short to pick up any real momentum, and too stupid to give the viewers anything more than a childish plot. I give it a two simply because it was watchable. I'm being very nice.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Worthy Sequel
Review: The 'Unisols' are back led by Simon (Michael Jai White). They have taken over the secret base and are taking no prisoners. A beastly brute named Bill Goldberg is the most awesome force to have hit the big screen since Dolph Lundgren! Jean-Claude Van Damme does everything he can to stop the almost immortal zombies. A memorable scene in this sequel had Goldberg giving spears to all of those fat security guards at a hospital. Immense! Then Simon kicked an old man in the face at the speed of light. What a gesture! The movie's plot is thin, but is genius to my standards. Van Damme delivers more jumpkicks, flashkicks and horizontal spin kicks. Oh yes! More heaven in a movie.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: ANOTHER COOL SCI-FI/ACTION FILM!!!
Review: ONE OF VAN DAMME"S BEST FILMS. GREAT FIGHTS, EXPLOSIONS, WEAPONS MAKE THIS AN EXELLENT EXPERIENCE, DEFINETLY WORTH A WATCH. ...IT'S ON TBS SUPERSTATION JUNE 22ND,02. I RECOMMEND IT!!! ...

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Black Body Beautiful
Review: Like Other reviewers before me, I must say the movie's plot isquite weak. The individual one on one battles are interesting tho so the flick isn't a total waste. But for me, awesome blackmuscle is a real turn-on & that's what we get from Michael JaiWhite. They just don't come better sculpted than this & I zero-ed in countless times on his 'picture perfect' pecs & washboardabs, before turning my undivided attention to the BONUS 'workoutfeaturette.' This cat's physique will absolutely mezmorize you.For those of you simply into 'body watching, it's a no-brainer. Van Damme isn't exactly 'chopped liver' but Mr. White always manages to 'showcase his goods' to the 'absolute max' in all his flicks.Yeah he'll no doubt whip you into shape if you can keep your mind on the exercises but my guess is all his stretchin' & flexin' will put you into a trace & have you wondering just how you can get your hands on him- then keephim close by your side!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Van Damme rules again
Review: Universal Soldier: The Return is the ultimate pinacle of all action movies. Featuring quite possibly the greatest cast ever assembled: Van Damme (1999's "Legionnaire"), Bill Goldberg, Michael Jai White ("Todd McFarlane's Spawn", 1997) and Kiana Tom (Kiana's Flex Appeal).
Van Damme was snubbed for an Academy Award yet again, surprisingly enough.

The soundtrack features Megadeth's Crush 'Em.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Universial Soilder - The rerun
Review: This film is just bad. It feels cheap. It lacks impact and plot. The only character I liked was Romeo. Overall it just falls short of the mark in almost every catagory. Some of the fights are ok and that is the movies only redeeming quality. Give it a miss.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Ruining the universal soldier tradition..
Review: Man, this movie is just as bad as the universal soldiers that were made for hbo except for it had Michael Jai White, Van Damme, and Goldberg..I like Goldberg but man, he had the most idiotic lines in this movie..White makes a good bad guy and having Van Damme back was the reason I wanted to see it but whoever wrote this needs to be shot! Even the extra's were horrible..at least in the first one they had some pretty big believable unisols but they got like, 50 something year old guys that are balding playing these cool unisols..plus van damme wasn't super buff like he was in the other one ;) White got chumped in the final fight scene, no where as cool as Van Damme and Lundgren. It just totally dropped WAY short of Universal Soldier..I was upset I payed to see it in the theatre..same with my buddy..Stay Clear of this even if you are a big Universal Soldier fan!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Awful.Just awful.
Review: Well,I've given every other one of Van Damme's movies a try,so I thought,with a little bit more apprehension than usual,how about this one.Well,I wish I had trusted my instincts and not gone near it with a bargepole,for this film simply took the biscuit.Universal Soldier:The Return is a mind bogglingly awful disaster,full of atrocious acting,utter predictability,cardboard characters,dated action,laughable special effects and boring martial arts.It's blissfully short,but sadly,it's so dire,it feels like it's going on forever,thanks mainly to stuntman turned director Mic Rodgers's unprofessional direction.And it's kind of freakyish how Jean Claude Van Damme was programmed mechanically in the first film,but now just seems to have returned back from the dead Frankenstein style here.For every reason imaginable,one to steer well clear from.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: A great comedy!
Review: This movie is soooooooooooooooooo bad you'll laugh till your abs hurt. I had to stop the movie several times to stop the tears from all the laughing.

The story of a Demon Seed style computer (for those that remember that film) with ambitions to take on humanity because it's funding had been cut is funny in itself but combine that with totally unbelievable action sequences, disjointed one-liners, gratutious bra shots, and absolutely abysmal acting and you've got a winner!

For those of you that liked Commando, you'll probably like this film.


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