The Vikings

Rating:
Summary: Goofy Fun!
Review: Ah, to be a Viking! According to this movie being a Viking meant looking a lot like a member of the Hell's Angels motorcycle gang- matted long hair, bushy beards, and sleaveless vests. It also meant hanging around the ole mead hall drinking buckets of spirits, carrousing with "wenches," and throwing axes at stuff while all the time shouting "ODIN!" Ernie Borgnine as the Viking leader "Ragnar", Kirk Douglas as Ragnar's son "Einar," and a gang of bewigged extras look to be having a grand time in the 9th Century.

Not having a grand time is Tony Curtis as "Eric" a slave of the Vikings, but is also unknowningly the real heir to an English throne. Not only has poor "Eric" been deprived of his birthright, but he also has to walk around most the movie in an embarrassingly short mini-dress.

In contrast to the Vikings are their enemies, the English, who come across as rather effete. According to this movie, Englishmen in the 9th century wore long dresses and tights. (Come to think of it Englishmen in the 21st century really haven't changed their style habits much, have they?)

Enter Janet Leigh as Welsh Princess "Morganna." Promised in marriage to a creepy English king played by the creepy looking Frank Thring, Morganna is kidnapped by Einar. Upon seeing Morganna in a tight fitting bodice which accentuates her more than ample bosom (did Ms. Leigh ever wear a costume which did not show off her famous "assets?"), Einar goes wild with lust. Of course, Morganna detests Einar and has eyes only for the mini-dress wearing Eric. Needless to say complications arise which results in a hawk scratching out a someone's eye, another character being forced into a pit full of starvation mad wolves, another person having his hand cut off, and a big battle in which the macho Vikings whale on the effeminate English. All in all just terrific fun!

Rating:
Summary: Odin and Tony
Review: I remember when I first saw The Vikings. My sister had an old tape of it, half destroyed, and I was just a small squirt. I thought it was so cool. As I aged, I saw less and less of it until recently. I do like this film, it's a fun film, and it's original in its setting.

The story is not original: Two guys want the same gal, only the gal loves one of them, but she can't have either because she has to marry some other guy who's butt ugly and is rich and happens to be the king. And by the end of the film, the two men she must choose from have either lost a hand or an eyeball, which would you choose? Exactly, so the two brutes intend to squabble over her.

Again, this plot is predictable and over used, but when you take in consideration of the setting and how few stories are told about the Vikings and their culture and their ways and warfare, you can appreciate this film and look beyond the corny plot.

Kirk Douglas plays Einar, the son of the Head Viking. I really had a hard time liking the idea that Kirk Douglas plays a bad guy. He does a good job, don't get me wrong, but I like Douglas and seeing him as a villain just doesn't work for me. But his character is probably more developed than the supposed to be good guy. You watch as Douglas' character turns from playful and adventurous to dark and bitter.

Tony Curtis plays Eric, the good guy. He's a slave, but actually he's a prince (shhhhh!). I don't like his character because he's either a feeble wimp or he's stronger than an ox. His character is too direct, almost angry. I would've embraced a character who had anger, as long as he had depth and a personality, and he simply doesn't.

Janet Leigh is quite radiant in this film, I must say. She plays Morgana, soon to be wife of the King who's old enough to be her grandpa, but that's how things were back then. I like her character, and it isn't because of her pretty face either. She has some solemness about her and she has her moments where she's strong. The problem is, you don't get to see this inner strength in her character because Einar and Eric are too busy fighting over her like a pair of wild sex crazed dogs searching for a mate.

Ragnar is played by Ernie B. who does the best job out of the four, next to Douglas. He's funny, he's crazy, and he looks like a viking. Although I wish you could get a look at his warrior side, instead you get to see his bummish life style of laying around laughing like some drunk sailor.

The problem with this movie is that everything was fine until Eric began making his moves on Morgana. It just went too fast for me. Romance is great when it is earned and both characters grow together for a little bit. There was little growing between these two before they were confessing their undying love for each other. It's too bad, because it would've been more enjoyable if Morgana had played hard to get rather than a future queen whose holding Eric's advances off by a thread. The potential romance that could've sprouted from the movie could have made it grand, but they rushed it.

The good news is that this film is so entertaining, you simply do not care. That simple, you don't care if the romance is rushed or that the plot is weak or that Douglas plays a bad guy. It's just a good movie, with cool music and visual apparel. Don't watch this movie hoping that it's the heir to Sparticus in Kirk Douglas' career, cuz it ain't, but if you want a fun movie that's entertaining and pretty original from the other crap that is out there. Watch and enjoy.

Grade: B+

Rating:
Summary: The DVD extras made me appreciate this epic adventure film
Review: A lot of historical research went into this 1958 epic, which takes place in the eighth century when the Vikings were a formidable force and England was composed of just a bunch of warring kings. And, considering the year in which the film was made, the special effects are wonderful. Most stirring of all is the ferocious battle near the end when the Vikings invade the castle of the wicked King where the beautiful Janet Leigh is locked up after she has promised herself to the King in order to save Tony Curtis's life. He's a former slave who has rescued her from kidnap of the Vikings. And Kirk Douglas as the one-eyed half-brother of Curtis wants his revenge for that as well as the death of his father, Ernest Borgnine.

I remember seeing this film when it was originally released and loved it at that time. But now, so many years later, it has lost some of its allure and I found myself bored and trying not to judge it too harshly. After all, the acting is good, the story full of adventure and there was something to learn about Viking lore.

However, one of the joys of watching films on DVD are the special features. And the interview with director Richard Fleisher about the making of the film changed my experience of it into one of awe. This film was a formidable undertaking. It took one year to research and one year to make. And it is as historically accurate as possible. For example, the Viking ships were perfect replicas. They were so perfect, in fact, that it was found that the oar holes were too close together for the modern actors to use. The Vikings must have been short men with short arms. The director therefore had to use every other oar hole and half the amount of men that must have crewed the original ship. Much of the movie was filmed in Norway and the producers had an entire Viking village built. He also spoke about the dangers of some of the stunts and the valor of Kirk Douglas, who also had to wear a very uncomfortable contact lens for much of the film. The actors all lived in floating dormitories too, which would move during the night to different locations. I found all of this fascinating.

Therefore, in spite of my somewhat jaded view of the film, I do highly recommend the DVD. Taken as a whole, it is testament to the ingenuity of the filmmakers who turned the concept of the epic film into an art form.

Rating:
Summary: They don't make them like this anymore!
Review: ...and that is a crying shame. This movie has everything that made the old movies geat. Real true movie stars with "star power": Kirk Douglas (who had muscles before they were invented!), Tony Curtis, Janet Leigh, and Ernest Borgnine. It has action, it has romance, it has comedy, it has axe throwing, it has women with pointy bras. As both an artifact of the era in which it was produced, and as pure entertainment this movie is as close to perfect as anything I've ever seen. Buy it. Watch it over and over again.

Rating:
Summary: Not Authentic, but as much fun as a Viking Beer Party!!
Review: I won't go over the story for you (read the Editorial). Instead, here's a list of things I like about the "vikings" DVD, what you should expect and why you should (shouldn't?) buy it;

-This film moves pretty fast for a "Historical" epic.
-"Historical" it is not. The most historical aspect of this film is the Viking village and artifacts.
-The long ships are authentic. However...
-I thinks the real Vikings had more than 3 boats! Kind of hard to terrorize northern Europe with 3 BOATS!!!
-The Vikings are made out to be strategic geniuses. Entertaining but fancifull.
-The story is based on NO HISTORICAL FACTS that I know of. History buffs, beware!
-This is a highly entertaining fiction. If you approach it that way, you'll enjoy it much more.
-The acting is quite entertaining. Ernest Borgnine is great fun, Kirk Douglas is everything you'd expect and (again) Tony Curtis plays an ancient Brooklyn-ite.
-The music is stirring. I promise, you will not forget it!

-The castle seige is the fastest EVER!! What usually takes weeks, months, years, is accomplished in 20 minutes!!
-The battles are bloodless and alot of fun.
-There are sexual situations, though kids probably won't get it.
-There is much "implied" violence. You might want to pre-screen for kids.
-The "making of" extra is very insightful. Points out flaws as well as triumphs.
-The quality (sound and picture)is highly acceptable for a typical MGM "cheapy". You probably get more than you pay for.
-If you've never sean this film, the price is right. Good "risk/reward" ratio. It helps if you hunger for midievel style movies.

This is not a "great" film. It is a highly entertaining film if viewed in the right frame of mind. If you enjoy "Robin hood" and the like, you should enjoy this.

Rating:
Summary: Old fashioned buckle&swash with a great musical score
Review: The kind of exciting adventure movie they dont make any more, full of enjoyable hokum and happily hammy performances. Plus Kirk Douglas gets his eye plucked out by a bird, or something. Note the raptuous score by the greatly underrated Italian composer Mario Nascimbene -- stay tuned past the ending & you'll hear a reprise of it under the animated closing credits. A grand gory splashy romp.

Rating:
Summary: Very authentic Viking movie. DVD transfer excellent.
Review: What surprized me most about this movie on DVD was the quality of the video. It feels more like a contemporary film rather than one made in 1958 - the colors are vibrant, the images crisp and the panoramic shots beautiful. The other fascinating aspect of this movie is it's authenticity which you will learn from director Fleisher's special feature narrative. The Viking ships were authentically reproduced right down to the smallest detail and the picture is shot on location in the Norwegian fjords. The "Running of the oars" (which Kirk performs himself) and the final sword fight are a treat to watch. The movie has violent action without being gory. It doesn't have the epic feel and melodrama of Spartacus (which came two years later) but that makes it all the more convincing.

Rating:
Summary: Doesn't quite click
Review: Especially after seeing the background feature on the DVD, one has to admire the effort that was put into finding great locations and making the sets, costumes, and ships authentic. But it all seems a waste, as the film never gets you to the point of believing in any of it. It's not that it's a tall tale; we don't mind that as long as we can get swept up in it, but this just doesn't happen. It occurred to me, at about the point that Tony Curtis ran up the castle stairs to confront the evil king, that I might have been watching The Princess Bride ("Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya"), except that The Vikings, despite taking itself seriously, doesn't succeed half so well in making you care about the characters or the plot. The battle scenes are also incredibly weak. It seems fitting that in the final funeral scene, a good number of the fire arrows fall laughably short of their target.

Rating:
Summary: The Axes of Evil
Review: "The Vikings" is one of a handful of all-time favorite movies. It was a staple of the 10:30 Saturday night movies of the 1960s, and I never missed it! Finally, I have it on DVD, and it's magnificent.

The final conflict between the Kirk Douglas and Tony Curtis characters on the castle's stone flanks is one of the most memorable scenes in cinema. However, my favorite scene is the brief one in which Kirk Douglas jumps across the chasm to the raised drawbridge and climbs the battle axes that have been flung into its wood.

"The Vikings" is a visual masterpiece, and it's great fun to watch. It has jumped across the late night TV chasm from the big screen (1958) to DVD (2002), and I'm forever grateful!

Rating:
Summary: O'dddiiiiiiiiinnnnnn...........
Review: Rousing 50's classic exposes Kirk Douglas as a really bad actor. But I like it anyway. Some memorable scenes, and pretty good overall content for the time. Too bad the crabs had to go hungry.

And I think almost anybody would have been better as Prince Einar, but I heard Kirk owned the script or something. He makes a better smirking newspaper reporter than he does a smirking Viking prince. Lee Marvin would have been interesting in that part, or Jack Lemmon, or maybe even Jack Klugmann. Ernest Borgnine was great as Ragnar, King of the Vikings. But I swear if I had heard him pronounce "What A Son" one more time I'd have had an apoplexy, and they are normally reserved for rich old Southern ladies. Maybe a mild conniption or something would be better. Never heard him talk like that about Tim Conway. And Tony Curtis ... well, he was usually pretty good in these roles ala. The Black Shield of Falworth, but something's missing here. He sort of scoots around with this fake intensity and a stunned wide-eyed look on his face. Maybe it was because he suddenly realized Janet Leigh was going to ruin his life, and give him a daughter that would be known as the "Queen of the Slasher Flicks." She was a Cancer Tony, what the hell were you thinking? Or it could have been that he knew Kirk was going to draft him for the part of that sweet little bathhouse slave that was always working Caesar or one of them Pretorians into a lather in Spartacus, if you know what I mean? ; ) O'dddiiiiiin!

However, I do really admire the logic behind the Viking "Test of Unfaithfullness." Put your wife in stocks, nail her pigtails at 12, 3, and 9-drop back about 15 feet, down another horn of frothy ale, and hurl your battle ax in the direction of her pinned up hair. If she survives she's innocent, if she dies...well, she was guilty anyway. Should have watched this a long time ago. The Ex never would have made it. Anyway, the scenery is nothing short of phenomenal. The colors and textures on the DVD are as good as I've ever seen, and the score is typical of the 50's...very very good. Also see The Long Ships and Taras Bulba for more of the same-maybe better.

Hey, anybody ever wonder where those 10 foot long Alpenhorns come from. Are goats that big over in Norway? If I was a Viking shipbuilder, I'd pray everybody got killed on those raids. Good for business. Bury me with 4 broadswords. O'dddiiiiiin!