Rating: 
Summary: Is there a cliche this movie doesn't cover?
Review: Why do I do this to myself? Stay up late at night and watch horrible action movies on HBO, that is. It seems like each one gets worse than the last. But "Cobra" is about as low as they can go.Stallone demonstrates quite admirably why action movie stars should not write their own screenplays. From the "maverick in the police department" to the "female lead who falls in love with a guy who continually and recklessly endangers her life" to the "treacherous partner cop-gone-bad" to the "one man vs. an army" of the climactic shootout, the plot might interest a sleeping zombie. Maybe that's his target audience, as the brutal senselessness of the movie could only escape the undead. Although even zombies will get a little nauseated at the retro-80s soundtrack. Maybe I've been spoiled by "The Matrix" -- no, scratch that, even the memory of "Rambo" and "Rocky" was enough to ruin this film. I think I'm going to go into my room and cry now.
Rating: 
Summary: All-time King of Bad Action Films
Review: Cobra makes Rambo 3 look realistic and intellectually appealing. A giant cult of insane axe-murders (not as cool as it sounds; remeber this is bad action not bad horror) takes on Stallone. Guess who wins. This film is pumped full of testosterone-fueled corniness, and seeps with pointless violence. If you laugh harder whenever Sly tries to be more serious, then get this, or at least rent it. In my opinion, Cobra is a laugh riot! P.S. There is one frightening thing about it however: Brian Thompson, an underrated character actor who is scary as hell itself.
Rating: 
Summary: For serious Stallone fans!
Review: This is a movie for Stallone fans only, like me. While some of the action sequences are exciting, they are unrealistic. For example, Sly is standing in back of a speeding truck shooting at bad buys on motorcycles. He then proceeds to shoot every single bad guy while he himself does not take one shot. The car chase scene was very exciting to watch. Somewhat reminiscent of the scene in Bullit. If you can get past the predictable plot and the unrealistic action then this movie is for you.
Rating:
Summary: HOW TO WASTE MONEY ON A RIDICULOUS MOVIE
Review: Cobra (1986) Cobra is a God awful movie that really sets the standard for lousy action films. The story is strange and goes absolutely nowhere.Some killer called "The NightSlasher" kills multiple people with a very sharp and lethal knife.Marion Cobretti (Sylvester Stallone) is also known as "Cobra",and sets out to destroy the "NightSlasher". This film is sooo bad it's kind of hard to describe.The screenplay (written by Stallone) is horrible,and has tons of plot holes and has unbelieveably stupid dialog.The story goes absolutely nowhere.The characters are terribly developed and are strictly zero dimensional.And Brigette Nielson is a horrid actress. Beyond that,Cobra is filled with an incredibly cheesy and irritating 80s soundtracks.Director George Pan Cosmatos has to be the most serious problem with the film.He doesn't know where he wants the film to go,and his direction is just soooo weak,it makes the film predictable,slow,and boring. Cosmatos gave us some really good films over the years (Rambo 2, Leviathan,etc),but this is probably his worst film. Cobra is also very boring due to the slow-paced plot and Cosmatos' incredibly weak direction.The action scenes are also very stupid and brainless.Such as when Cobra nukes two axe- wielding killers at his home and his boss and fellow cops say he still doesn't have proof that the killings are being done by more than one person.Cobra's sunglasses are also horrible looking. Overall,Cobra could've been a good movie.It could've been a Stallone favorite.It has VERY few redeeming qualties.Brian Thompson is excellent as the "NightSlasher",the finale is pretty intense,and the beginning is superb.Still,that can't save this dreck. It's easy to see why Cobra 2 was never planned.This movie stunk up the house real bad!
Rating:
Summary: Arguably the worst movie ever made!
Review: The plot: Renegade cop fights psychopathic killers-- essentially its a blatant rip-off of "Dirty Harry" complete with "Dirty Harry" cast members Reni Santori and Andy Robinson in supporting roles. Unfortunately, "Cobra" doesn't even come close to matching "Dirty Harry" as a film. It's just awful. I could go on and on about its horrific use of every action film cliche in the book. In fact, this film is so over-the-top in its use of action cliches that, at times, one suspects that it was made to be a parody of action films. Yet Stallone's performance quickly puts those thoughts to rest. He plays his character straight without any hint of self depreciation which makes it all the more ridiculous. It's obvious that Stallone was hoping that Marion Cobretti would join his stable of lucrative, sequel producing characters. Luckily for the movie-going public, "Cobra Part II" never materialized after the failure of "Cobra." Why is this movie so awful? Too many reasons to be explained in detail; but I'll try to point out some of its worst elements. The amount of advertising in this film has to be seen to be believed. The beginning of the movie takes place in a supermarket for no other reason than to have Cobra stand next to the advertisements of various products. In another scene, our hero turns on a TV which, of course, has to show a full length commercial for Toys-R-Us before moving onto a bogus news story. The ending was stolen from the Chuck Bronson movie "Ten to Midnight." In Bronson's movie the psycho gives a speech on how sick he is and how he'll be back because you can't lock up nuts forever. Of course, Bronson shoots the guy- end of movie. In "Cobra" the bad guy treats us to almost the exact same speech; but Stallone just can't shoot the guy. That would be too pat. How then does Sly dispose of the baddie? Let's just say the end takes place in an iron foundry with predictable results. However, the cherry on top that sets this film a cut above other wretched movies is the presence of Brigitte Neilsen. What a terrible actress! She plays a model and her fashion shoot montage is a scream. Gotta love the cheesy soundtrack too! Stallone was at the pinnacle of his career when he made this piece of dreck. He had just come off of the huge successes of "Rambo II" and "Rocky IV." "Cobra" was supposed to be his BIG movie for 1986 and maybe be the start of another franchise of sequels. It had a big budget and alot of expectations hanging on its success. When one considers what was expected of it and how completely it failed then it's not too hard to mention it among the worst movies ever made. One could make the case that Stallone's career never fully recovered from this fiasco.
Rating:
Summary: A pretty bad flick that's even worse on DVD
Review: I reviewed this film quite a some time ago and gave it 2 stars out of 5 (which means seriously flawed and is only recommended for hardcore fans of the genre.Otherwise,steer clear).However,after viewing this DVD,this movie is worse than I originally thought.A while ago,me and my friend Ted went to BlockBuster to rent some DVD's.Ted owns a DVD player,so I went to his house.The DVD's we rented were Small Soldiers,Friday The 13th, Phantasm and this.Ted absolutely loves this movie, so just to be nice,I watched it with him.However, he didn't enjoy it very much because the DVD had some VERY irritating problems.The picture quality is horrible.Some scenes are difficult to see coz the picture has a dark tint to it.The sound is bad.On the DVD we rented,the actors voices were hard to hear has some of the gunfire and sound F/X.There was also a hiss that would interrupt every once in a while.It wasn't loud or constant but still.The extras are fairly decent,but the director's commentary isn't a commentary at all. George Pan Cosmatos is silent throughout the entire film and doesn't speak once about it. Overall,I'd recommend you avoid this.If you must see this dull flick,rent the VHS tape.The DVD is purely and simply awful.
Rating: 
Summary: Very dull and uneventful
Review: Cobra is one of the most disappointing movies that I have ever seen.It looked so awesome and I really wanted to like it.Instead,all I got was complete boredom.The plot moves at a horribly slow pace and at times feels too slow.The story is quite dull. The script is also pretty predictable (for me anyway).The sunglasses that Cobra wore looked terrible and are quite possibly the worst pair of sunglasses ever to grace God's Earth.The action sequences aren't all that great either.Their pretty dumb actually.The movie starts out nice,but gets horribly slow and boring after that.Everyone involved with this should be ashamed.the only reason I gave it two stars was because the beginning was pretty cool,but that's about it.Please note that I actually haven't seen the DVD version of Cobra.I had to review it coz I couldn't find an english language VHS version. Rated R for extreme action violence and lots of profanity.
Rating:
Summary: TERRIBLE SCREENPLAY
Review: What makes me sad is Stallon,e being someone who fought so hard to get success and a screenwriter himself ("ROCKY") certainly knows when he is shooting a lousy script. But he goes for it anyway, giving us this terrible motion-picture, whre there's a gang of killers who wants a new order for something..A mere vehicle for actres Brigitte Nielses, I guess..
Rating:
Summary: SIMPLY AWFUL
Review: This is one of the worst films I have ever seen and that is NO joke. There is No plot. There is some mumbo-jumbo about a serial killer called "The Night Stalker" who wants to create a "New World" and kills many dumb blondes. A rather strange way to go about achieving such ambitions indeed but apparently that wasn't important to the screenwriter. The DVD is a bit of a dud too. The widescreen version isn't really 1.85:1 and the picture quality is terrible. The directors commentary is dire. George Pan Cosmatos is virtually silent throughout the entire film and offers no insight into the making of the film whatsoever. Not that I expected there to be any. All in all this DVD is a HUGE waste of money. Steer clear!
Rating:
Summary: Great fun 80's action flick
Review: OK, the story is absolutely idotic (and a bit fascistic) but this flick is just hell of a fun. Cool looks, cool (silly) dialogs, fast action and a good soundtrack. A must see for every Stallone fan. The DVD itself is very well done, excellent picture and sound and good extras. Buy it!
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