Conan the Destroyer

Rating:
Summary: Not as good as the first
Review: Conan the Destroyer picks up where Conan the Barbarian left off at. We are once again with the hero Conan(Arnold Schwarzenegger) and he has a new quest. He is hired by a queen to take a virgin princess to a floating island to retreave a crystal. He is made to believe that the queen can bring back his love Valeria. In reality the queen wants to kill the princes and use the crystal to rule the world.

Conan the Destroyer isn't at nearly as violent and bloody as the first. The first movie is a lot more barbaric. The sword play is slower and more brutal. You also don't see a whole lot of magic in the first film. Granted you see some, but not like you see in Destroyer. The sword play isn't nearly as bloody. It's more high paced and you see a bigger variety of weapons in the movie. You also see a diffrent kind of cast.

Mako is the only returning member besides Conan to the movie. He continues his role as the wizard and once again is a comedic charm. Grace Jones as a role as Zulu warrior. She is excellent in the movie. I was surprised to see her in the movie. Wilt Chambelin is also in the movie. He plays a warrior that is suppose kill Conan once the crystal is retreaved. He is in great shape for a 50 something year old man. I was impressed.

I liked Conan the Destroyer. It's PG and is something the whole family can watch. I don't think it's as good as Barbarian, but I do love it. It's a must for Arnold and fantasy fans. Get the DVD and enjoy.

Rating:
Summary: Conan the Destroyed
Review: The first thing to keep in mind when watching either of the Conan movies, or Kull for that matter, is that they are not Howard's evocative characters. They are completely different, and only keep the name to sell the movie.

That said, Conan the Destroyer has nowhere near the impact or power of Conan the Barbarian. While that film opted for a dark, serious tone, this movie has a light, comedic feel to it, probably so it would sell to children. While the humor is pretty good at first in this movie, such as the scenes when Conan is first riding into the city and the merchant starts covering up his jewels, and the encounter with the camel, it gets boring and redundant after a bit. Also, what happened it Subotai? He was a fun, likeable character, who they disposed of for some reason and replaced with Malak, a completely unecessary, obnoxious and pointless character who somehow has inherited Subotai's memories of past events.

While the previous Conan film showed off Conan's graceful violence and taste for women, in this one most of the swordplay is choppy and not very well done, and he doesn't bed one wench. The special effects are terrible, because I guess the director was trying for cool effects and thrills and failed miserably.

Grace Jones is a colorful new addition as the savage Zula, but Wilt Chamberlain acts quite badly as Queen's Henchman Bombatta. I'm not quite sure who played the queen, but she also was quite horrible. The wizard from the first one is brought back and given a name, although he was also wimpified extremely and is now a stupid gibberish-sprouting powerless wizard. And the girl.

I still maintain the biggest mistake in this movie was making it a kids movie. Even with the bad acting and effects, this movie could have been good with an R rating, with decently real gory violence and women. Alas, the girl is played by Olivia d'Abo from the Wonder Years, who does a horrible acting job in this movie. She is around mainly to stand around looking scared and occasionally to show some skin on her leg or near her breasts, but that is as far as it goes.

The other downfall in this movie is the plot. While the plot is big and epic in the first one, here it's just "the quest for the magical this-and-that with the beautiful girl as bait."

One hopes that for Conan III, they will bring back the somber tone and have a more epic plot, like have Conan lead an army to take over a kingdom after a corrupt sorceror kills Jehnna or something like that, with Arnold Schwarzenneger finally becoming king by his own hand as alluded to in the first two conan films.

While this is worth seeing, or even buying if you're a fan of fantasy or sword and sworcery flicks, don't look for real deep materiel here.

Rating:
Summary: Watch It For A Good Laugh...But thats it.
Review: I saw this one and was so dissapointed. But thats ok cause it made me laugh alot. Cheesy 1980s special effects, bad acting, bad casting and dorky characters. Arnold's dorky sidkick makes me laugh so hard in this one. The dialog in this film is so bad that it makes you laugh. Here are the good parts, the princess is young and hot and so is her aunt the queen. And Arnold rules no matter how bad the film might be. All you basketball fans will be glad to know that Wilt Chamberlain is in this one. The bad news is he cannot act. This is a reccuring trait in this movie.

Rating:
Summary: Not horrible but not great
Review: Call this more like 2 1/2 stars. This movie may actually be a bit closer in spirit to a true swords and sorcery epic than the first movie. We've got evil queens, evil wizards, monsters, etc...

Unfortunately, Conan is even saddled with a bigger cast of companians. Mako is back as the wizard, Tracy Walter plays a thief for comic relief, then we have Oliva D'Abo as a Princess, and Wilt Chamberlain and Grace Jones rounding out the cast.

This is some of the worst casting EVER! Jones, Chamberlain and Walter are totally out of place in this movie. Chamberlain is even more wooden than Arnold, Jones basically scowls and growls for 90 minutes and Walter sounds like a hillbilly in ancient times.

The special effects are B movie at it's best. Poorly looking rubber costumes. Conan's nemesis from the books and comics, Thoth Amon comes off as totally pathetic.

It's not all bad. Arnold himself holds things together as best he can and the action scenes are well done. Still, We have yet to see anyone do a REAL good swords and sorcery/fantasy movie(discounting Lord of the Rings, of course).

King Kull with Kevin Sorbo was yet another slap in the face to fans of Robert E. Howard.

Rating:
Summary: Awful movie. I wish I could forget it
Review: The masterul epic quality of "Conan the Barbarian" demanded an epic sequel. Instead, what we were given was a parody.

In the first movie Conan's character was well developed, you saw what happened to him over the course of his life, what created him, and what his motivations were.

In this movie, Conan is reduced to a bodybuilder in a fur diaper.

Conan's companions in the first movie were formidible accomplices who Conan respected. In this movie, Conan's companions, especially the annoyingly sniveling cretin Malak, (played by Tracey Walter) have no redeeming qualities at all. I kept hoping Conan would impale him and put us out of our misery. I was constantly lead to wonder "Why is Conan hanging around with this guy?"

Sandahl Bergman in the original movie was a Valkyrie. She was amazingly beautiful, but powerful and dangerous.

In the seocnd movie we were given Grace Jones. Please. Not only is she unattractive, her character was essentially unbelievable, crude and repulsive. The notion that she could be any kind of a warrior was laughable.

The villains in the first movie are fearful. James Earl Jones as Thulsa Doom, Sven Ole Thorsen as Thorgrim and Ben Davidson as Rexor come across as men who could beat Conan. It made the outcome uncertain and Conan's eventual victory that much more powerful.

In this movie the villain is a guy in a monster suit with poorly done special effects. It is so bad that Conan must drop his sword and arm wrestle the monster for a fair fight. Wilt Chamberlain, while a creditable athlete, did not have the screen prescence. One look at him and it was obvious that Conan could take him. He doesn't do the role justice.

In the first movie, magic was just that. Magic. It was dangerous, expensive in terms of life and used only in dire circumstances. In this movie magic is reduced to the level of a bad dungeons and dragons game. I halfway expected The wizard (Mako) to pull out some eight-sided dice and roll them in his battle with the Man Ape/Toth-Amon.

In the original movie, Conan ponders The riddle of steel? In this movie, Conan rescues a blonde girl and is betrayed by the evil stepmother. I didn't realize Snow White was Cimmerian. At least she wasn't surrounded by seven dwarves.

Finally, Conan movies should be R rated. The world of Conan is violent, brutal, lusty and grim. This watered-down milquetoast version was designed to pander to a family friendly audience and D&D geeks.

John Milius should have been in charge of this movie. It would have been SO much better.

If you like the Conan stories, ignore this film.

Rating:
Summary: the greatest
Review: this is the best one cuz this one has more speical Affects and it has monster like the other one didn't and this had more fighting and more wizards now this was the best one of all thats what i think get this,it's a really great movie Arnold kicks @$$ on this movie but i think he should just get about valeria.but this is a great and powerful movie

Rating:
Summary: Conan Deserves Better
Review: And on to this Conan, sword in hand, came back for a lackluster sequal. Arnold Schwarzenegger reprises his classic role in a hardly classic film. Richard Fleischer takes over from previous director John Milius and basically fails to live up to expectations. Conan is now a notorious thief and a queen(Sarah Douglas) hires him to guide her niece(Olivia d'Abo) to find a sacred horn that will reincarnate a god. If Conan is successful the queen will bring back Conan's lost love from the dead. And that is basically it. Throw in a bunch of odd characters and some obstacles to overcome along the way and that is Conan the Destroyer.

Conan the Barbarian is a masterpiece. Conan the Destroyer is not. In fact it doesn't even hold a candle to the first film. It is hard to believe this is the best script Universal could come up with. It just isn't that good. Director Richard Fleischer basically had to cover for the script by using specticle such as casting Grace Jones and Wilt Chamberlain, having Arnold barely wear any clothes, wizards, monsters, etc. Additionally there is much more action is this film than in Conan the Barbarian, but again this is because the script was so thin if it was turned sideways it would disappear. That being said the strong point of this film is good action. Although it is a little toned down from the previous film(most likely for the PG rating) it is well directed and entertaining.

People looking for a good film should stay away from this and see Conan the Barbarian. However this film was unfortuatly banked on mindless action and there is plenty of it so action buffs may enjoy it. Because of the simple plot and funny characters it is a film parents could enjoy with their kids. If you saw the first film and looking forward to checking this one out I'm sorry.

Rating:
Summary: Awful movie. I wish I could forget it
Review: The masterul epic quality of "Conan the Barbarian" demanded an epic sequel. Instead, what we were given was a parody.

In the first movie Conan's character was well developed, you saw what happened to him over the course of his life, what created him, and what his motivations were.

In this movie, Conan is reduced to a bodybuilder in a fur diaper.

Conan's companions in the first movie were formidible accomplices who Conan respected. In this movie, Conan's companions, especially the annoyingly sniveling cretin Malak, (played by Tracey Walter) have no redeeming qualities at all. I kept hoping Conan would impale him and put us out of our misery. I was constantly lead to wonder "Why is Conan hanging around with this guy?"

Sandahl Bergman in the original movie was a Valkyrie. She was amazingly beautiful, but powerful and dangerous.

In the seocnd movie we were given Grace Jones. Please. Not only is she unattractive, her character was essentially unbelievable, crude and repulsive. The notion that she could be any kind of a warrior was laughable.

The villains in the first movie are fearful. James Earl Jones as Thulsa Doom, Sven Ole Thorsen as Thorgrim and Ben Davidson as Rexor come across as men who could beat Conan. It made the outcome uncertain and Conan's eventual victory that much more powerful.

In this movie the villain is a guy in a monster suit with poorly done special effects. It is so bad that Conan must drop his sword and arm wrestle the monster for a fair fight. Wilt Chamberlain, while a creditable athlete, did not have the screen prescence. One look at him and it was obvious that Conan could take him. He doesn't do the role justice.

In the first movie, magic was just that. Magic. It was dangerous, expensive in terms of life and used only in dire circumstances. In this movie magic is reduced to the level of a bad dungeons and dragons game. I halfway expected The wizard (Mako) to pull out some eight-sided dice and roll them in his battle with the Man Ape/Toth-Amon.

In the original movie, Conan ponders The riddle of steel? In this movie, Conan rescues a blonde girl and is betrayed by the evil stepmother. I didn't realize Snow White was Cimmerian. At least she wasn't surrounded by seven dwarves.

Finally, Conan movies should be R rated. The world of Conan is violent, brutal, lusty and grim. This watered-down milquetoast version was designed to pander to a family friendly audience and D&D geeks.

John Milius should have been in charge of this movie. It would have been SO much better.

If you like the Conan stories, ignore this film.

Rating:
Summary: A Must-have
Review: Among Arnold's early movies, this one stands out for the eclectic supporting cast. His early movies were remarkedly free of any acting on his part; I suspect he was still learning English then. But one way to make him look better is to hire nonactors, or miscast semiactors. Enter Wilt and Grace. (Later, Richard Dawson). This is as much a collectible as Terminator 2.

Rating:
Summary: not much better
Review: I wasn't too impressed with Conan the Barbarian but people told me that Conan the Destroyer was better so I decided to give it a chance. Though there were some good scenes, the overall movie leaves more to be desired same as the first Conan. While the plot was not so drawn out, the lack of action hurt the movie to some degree. The returning characters are Conan (of course) along with his side kick Malleck from the first movie. And speaking of the first movie, Conan became king at the very end but in Conan the Destroyer he sets off on a quest all over again to find his destiny. (What's up with that?) Anyway, the fights are not as brutal this time around and the characters are a little more likeable than those in the first Conan. The last part of the movie was pretty good but it just wasn't enough to make an overall good movie. Not only that, Conan's wife from the first movie was supposed to get ressurected but it never happened (Can we say "plot hole"?) Again, the Conan films don't deliver very much and leave more to be desired.