Armageddon

Rating:
Summary: I've been tricked!
Review: I watched this movie because I've read on various music newsgroups that the soundtrack has various pop artists (Sheryl Crow, Tom Waits, Justin Timberlake of N'Sync, to name a few) doing covers of Def Leopard's classic tune "Armageddon It" THIS IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE! .....but i sat through the movie regardless, hoping that these musical interpretations would appear, perhaps as a climax. I was just about to abandon my hope, as Bruce Willis' character fashions a makeshift time-machine (Back to the Future eat your heart out!) to return to a time when the Armageddon could be stopped......... my heart raced! He's going to go back to the 80s, and THEN we'll hear Def Leppard! Not so. The time machine only brought him.... well, i won't ruin it for you. I'll just say there's no Def Leppard... and that Bruce Willis' subtle nod to another famous Bruce in the climactic closing battle (let's just say it's a vicious spinning side-kick) was a brilliant and emotional tribute.

Rating:
Summary: This is a trashy film.
Review: This film is not worth watching - it's kids stuff. The action on Earth is simplistic but just about watchable. The action in space is plain trash. They seem to have gone for just about every movie cliche possible - too many to list here - but the 'stupid' Russian astronaut part is particularly tasteless.

Rating:
Summary: What A Bad Film!
Review: I skipped this one in the theaters, not on purpose, but because of Bruce Willis. I have never liked any of his movies.

So, in one night, I watched this one and Deep Impact. I enjoyed Deep Impact because it was more about how we as humans, prepare for the "end."

Armageddon on a whole is simply terrible. Everything feels artificial and forced. Let's build sympathy for Bruce. Let's feel sorry for two young people in love ... . Let's believe that NASA will send idiots into space to save the earth. All of the emotion in this film was so staged and fake, that it was hard to feel for these characters. I have to wonder about people who said they cried when watching this film. I also never felt a sense of doom like I did when watching movies like Independence Day or Deep Impact.

Maybe I was in a bad mood when I watched this. Maybe this was simply a bad movie. One thing for sure, I wont watch it again.

Rating:
Summary: Hilariously bad film!
Review: Not a film I would have gone out of my way to see, I picked this up because I got it cheap, and I was curious what redeeming qualitites might have possessed Criterion to produce it. I expected to watch it and get rid of it, but this is definitely a keeper! The director's history in TV commercials, and his clear inability to do anything else, are evident throughout. I think no take in the film lasts more than three seconds, and a huge number of those look like they were lifted from ads for AT&T or Pampers. No action-flick cliche was spared in the story line, nor any opportunity for an explosion that made no sense. Laughed out loud throughout. There is no suspense of any kind (you can write down the entire story after watching the first ten minutes), but the combination of light-hearted humor and really-bad-movie excess make for a very enjoyable time. I've only made it through part of the commentary material, but am enjoying listening to the technical consultants point out the technical errors that I missed on first viewing.

As for those who think it was inappropriate for Criterion to waste their time on this when they could be restoring some decent film, recall that they have produced other junk films like Blood of Dracula and The Night Porter as examples of their genres. I think a -really- bad big-budget Hollywood film like this has a place too. Now as for doing it again with "The Rock," I agree, I wish they had done Ikiru first....

Rating:
Summary: one of the worst acted movies of all time
Review: I gave this movie 2 stars because it IS entertaining in the movie theatre, but if you're looking for quality story and acting, this is not the movie. It seems like the talented ensemble (Willis, Afflek, Thornton, Duncan, etc.) went out of their way to do a horrible, unbelievable job. There was not one point where I actually feared that a meteor was coming to earth. The scene where the president learns of the asteroid is just laughable "dear God..." Ben Affleck and Michael Bay are supposed to be a part of Peal Harbor, so I realllly hope they don't mess that one up.

Rating:
Summary: As Empty as Space Itself
Review: This is a typical Bruckheimer movie: expensive, dumbed-down, busy and noisy, and as forgettable as a bad joke. I really give it 1-1/2 stars, and that is only for the fortune's worth of production values wasted on this tripe.

To say it is peopled with comic book characters is an insult to comic book writers everywhere. Bruce Willis and a bunch of sluggos join NASA to save the world from a giant asteroid. In the hands of someone like James Cameron this might have worked. Cameron has a feel for the down-to-earth expertise of blue collar professionals. Not here. A good cast is wasted with repellant characters and dialogue no actor should be forced to spit out. There isn't a real emotion or scene anywhere in this piece of junk.

This is the worst kind of Hollywood movie. A tremendous amount of money and talent in the service of a trash script. If you want to see a movie with a similar theme done with intelligence and insight, with some real emotion and characters that approximate actual human beings, and excellent special effects that actually service the story, see Deep Impact.

For what it's worth, the DVD surround sound is great and is the only salvation in this 2-1/2 hour excursion in drivel.

Rating:
Summary: This is why DVD was created!
Review: I love my DVD player, and like every DVD owner I want to make sure it has only the best films to play for me. With that in mind, I also look for extensive extras in every DVD that I buy. Thanks to the Criterion Collection there are a more great DVD's out there with loads of extras, which can not be found on a general release, and Armageddon is one of those. The movie is loaded with the kind of humor, action, romance, guts-n-glory, nail-biting countdown to destruction kind of performances that just about every guy likes. It offers it in both widescreen and pan-and-scan formats. But the real reason to purchase this DVD is the second disk. Loaded with outtakes, productions notes, director commentary, behind the scenes info and a hysterical gag-reel - this is a great DVD! This is why the format is so popular, and in my opinion - every disc should have this much stuff. It's a little more expensive, but you and you DVD player are worth it! Have fun saving the planet with this one... I sure did.

Rating:
Summary: Entertainment to the absolute max
Review: Armageddon

Score: 74/100

If you are making an explanation of the ingredients that an 100/100 film would need, it is best not to use Armageddon's flavours. But, if you are making an explanation of pure entertainment at it's best, then Armageddon is a great example to use. This film opened up to the world as a major blockbuster with Razzie potential from some critics. However, some movie-goer's, like myself, happened to enjoy this film, and as a shooting star of a moneymaker, Armageddon soars high in the universe.

A giant, global-killing asteroid, like the one that killed off the dinosaurs 65 million years ago is 18 days away from hitting the Earth. NASA's been caught with their pants down and needs a new plan to stop the rock. They enlist the help of Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis), an expert deep core driller, to train their astronauts and help them drill into the asteroid and plant a nuclear bomb. But Harry figures the astronauts can't be trained in time and opts to go with his own oil drilling crew.

To get the flaws over and done with, Armageddon is sometimes too far-fetched that it becomes a little bit laughable, and Bruce Willis' character, Harry, is the hero. He isn't likeable one bit, unlike Willis' former heroic gun-aimer's and space travelling characters. But those things are quite minor, and great performances from Liv Tyler and Ben Affleck - especially Tyler, as the beautiful and Earthly young girl who sends her two most important men into sport - make up for Willis' half-effort. Also, a star-studded cast supports the three stars, including the never bad Steve Buscemi, giant Michael Clarke Duncan, the calm Owen Wilson and the weirdly watchable William Fichtner. All these actors play their roles well, and each have more faith in the story than some of the other main stars alone. Michael Bay controls his crew well, and he works excellently with the special effects team to create a stunning view of space, and some awesome blasting sounds that will unnerve you.

Armageddon is not as bad as you may of heard, and even though it isn't Best Picture material, it is still an excellent form of entertainment, a film that is able to mix romance, thrills and full-on adventure nicely and without struggle.

Rating:
Summary: Good acting; mediocre plot; overly predictable and clichéd.
Review: The one good thing about "Armageddon" is not in the story, not in the special effects, but in the emotion it is able to instill through the performances of its actors. That, along, remains the only positive aspect of a film that is predictable and tedious, testing patience while stretching credulity. The story fails to do any justice for the film's intended ideas, and the special effects overpower the movie during most of its running time.

The movie begins with a pretty nice retelling of the origins of Earth, as well as the extinction of the dinosaurs. Pretty soon, we're watching a space shuttle being bombarded with small meteors in space, and this sends NASA into a frenzy to figure out the nature of the accident. There troubles escalate when an intense meteor shower rains fire down on New York City (what other city, right?). This is one of those sequences simply put into the movie to try and instill fear and tension, but this is ruined by the writer's placement of small comical relief in the form of a taxi driver who has a way with words. The movie is full of trying to make tense situations funny, putting into under an identity crisis of sorts.

The movie then takes us to an oil rig, where Harry Stamper spends his days hitting golf balls at environmental protestors and yelling at his daughter Grace, who has been the adult of the pair all her life while her father plays the small child. NASA sends a chopper to pick the two of them up, and the situation is explained to them as well as the audience: an asteroid the size of Texas is heading for Earth, and will hit in 18 days unless they can send a crew of (wouldn't you know it?) drillers to the rock's surface to impregnate it with a nuclear warhead so that it will blow up and cause a brilliant light show for everyone on Earth that's waiting in suspense.

That last sentence pretty much describes the movie, which gives us a story they think we want to see, when in fact, there is so much more I wanted to see. For instance, we are never given a chance to care that Earth is going to be destroyed because, besides the characters being placed on the asteroid, we never get a chance to know anyone on Earth to give it a human feel (unless you count Dan Truman, the NASA guy who keeps pouring on the foreshadowing of doom and death). Interspersed through the movie are small shots of people listening to their radios and pointing to the sky as eventful things happen. This really does nothing to add human drama to the movie's plot, and by the end, you'll wish the rock would just end everything and get it over with.

The movie also does not live up to the ideas it so badly wants to embody. The movie brinks on giving us a story of perseverance and courage, but instead is ruined by substituting these traits for predictable scenes and far-fetched plot elements that ruin the entire experience with a cry of "Oh, come on." First movie magic plot twist off the assembly line is the movie's placement of the rig workers into an twelve-day astronaut training program for their venture into space. Twelve days? There is no way, especially since most of the time is spent going through useless psychiatric tests and medical exams, which are humorous but unaffecting in terms of plot development. The movie also has so many situations in which things are about to go wrong, but right at the last minute, our heroes save the day. The missile quarrel on the asteroid is a prime example; NASA overrides the system and starts the countdown from Earth's remote control link to the bomb, and with just seconds left on the timer, our heroes find the right wire and cut it to stop the explosion, which allows for more running time more than story. This is not only totally predictable, but totally unbelievable in reality, making the movie mindless and an insult to its own "intelligence."

Special effects seem to dominate most of the picture, and while they are dazzling, they do nothing in terms of what the movie wants to portray. "Armageddon" is about a big asteroid, so why not show us a big asteroid? The only times we ever get to see it is through the windows of a space shuttle or while they are drilling on its surface, and rarely do we get a faraway shot of it in its entire. So why, exactly, are we supposed to believe that this is going to mean the end of Earth? The effects do a good job of creating some tension, but only to a certain point, and that's if the plot's hokey machinations are absent for a few minutes.

One redeeming feature of this film is the emotion that it contains, and believe it or not, there actually is some. The drillers are shown as having lives outside of their work: one has a small boy who lives with his mother, while the plot also goes into a bit of romance between Grace and AJ, one of the drillers. This gives the movie a chance to exercise more of its father-daughter angle, which it does to a point without ever becoming preachy or tedious. The group's journey into space also is aided by the performances, playing out all the situations nicely and with ease, giving the story a feel-good attitude while adding some tension.

The cast is comprised of many well-knowns, all of whom shine in their unique roles. Bruce Willis is the ideal choice for Harry Stamper, being able to balance his rough and tough macho-isms with an equal amount of emotion and feeling. Liv Tyler plays Grace, his daughter, and their onscreen time together is believable and affectingly acted. I enjoyed watching these two at work the most, for they are able to make us feel for them as they experience their perils. Ben Affleck plays AJ, and while his role is not Oscar-worthy, he still does a good job of interacting with the story and the other actors' roles. The group of drillers includes Owen Wilson, Steve Buscemi, Will Patton, and others, all of whom bring slight touches of comedy to the movie while adding energy and feeling to the plot.

You have to give producers Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay credit for knowing just what audiences want in their summer movies, and that is lots of action harnessed by clichés and predictability, so as not to take away too much focus from the special effects and sequences of intensity. For me, this just wasn't enough. I did, however, feel that the movie has a solid emotional aspect that was brought into play by the performances of the actors. The movie does make one cry, yes, but in the end, it has its flaws that keep it from realizing its full potential.

Rating:
Summary: Revised rating. Phenomenal Film!
Review: The film is just flat out entertaining. Forget about the fact that there's no way that the scenario would be played out as it is in the film but who cares. These guys are hilarious and the biggest bunch of misfits that could possibly be requested to save all of mankind.

The action is intense, the drama (at times) palpable, the laughter uproarious, and the sentiment heartfelt. Eminently watchable.