Rating: 
Summary: Will the Real Lemony Snicket Please Stand Up!
Review: I am surprised and saddened to report that on reading books one through five of the Unfortunate Events series, I have discovered with this volume that Lemony Snicket is a fraud, "fraud" here meaning that there is more than one author passing themselves off as the cranky curmudgeon who writes these books. Part of the appeal of the Snicket books is that the author is sort of anonymous but at least sort of the same person. I was amazed to learn as an adult that there was no Franklin W. Dixon who wrote the Hardy Boys books of my youth, but rather a series of writers ghosting as the ficticious author. But surely, I thought, Lemony is gonna be one fellow all the way through. And then we get to the Austere Academy which blew that theory all to pieces.
The tone of the book is much different than the previous volumes. Granted, horrible things still happen to our unfortunate orphans, and the style tries to mimic the first books, but the word usage and sentence structure and style is, at times, wildly different. In a way, the writing is much more adult in the way it is presented. The first four books played pretty loose and were very conversational between author and reader, as if Lemony were telling a terrible story to a younger group of children. They also explained things and expounded on ideas that may be new to a younger reader. The Austere Academy, however, is a much more straightforward young adult novel in approach and becomes stilted when it tries to be conversational. The choice of words, phrases and concepts used are sometimes surprisingly more mature and advanced as if written by a person used to dealing with an older audience. One of the key elements of the series, defining larger words in an informative and humorous way, is very different as simple words and concepts are expounded upon, and larger words, like "tyrannical," pop up and are passed over as normal parts of childhood speech. The characters are essentially the same, but in a very rote way. Sunny, the baby of the bunch, is especially different as the second author has her think and act much older than she should be able to. Her four sharp teeth, unlike the first books, play almost no part as the writer seems to forget that she has a tendancy to bite everything in sight. Her speech, always garbled, was almost always expounded upon in the first books giving a meaning to what she has tried to say, but in the Academy, she just blurts out odd words and the story just keeps on going much of the time. Count Olaf, too, is sort of downplayed as he is but one of a number of sinister figures that wreck the orphan's lives rather than the evil mastermind who is waiting around every corner. I could go on, but you get the point.
This book isn't bad, in fact it is a decent story, but it is more of a straightforward (and a trifle bland) version of the unfortunate events depicted. Much of the wit, lunacy and charm of the earlier volumes is severely lacking. So either Lemony Snicket is more than one writer (which I suspect), or between the fourth and fifth books, somebody started slipping him some Prozac to even him out.
Oh, the book would only get two stars, but it redeems itself by introducing the term "Cakesniffer" into the English language.
Rating: 
Summary: A GREAT BOOK
Review: This book is about two sisters and their brother. They are always having bad things happen to them. In the first book of the series their parents die in a fire. They go to live a distant relative named Count Olaf. He is a mean man who only wanted to get the childrens fortune. He tries many ways of trying to get the fortune. In each book the children go and live somewhere else and with a different person but Cout Olaf always finds them and is always in a different disguise. Count Olaf never gets away with his plan but he always escapes and returns again to cause the children more misfortune. In this book the children, Violet, Sunny and Klaus, go away to a boarding school called Prufrock Prepartory School. When they get there they go to vice principal Nero's office. The vice principal has many odd rules like if you are late to a class you have your glass taken away at your next meal. They run into Count Olaf again there, but no one but their two new friends, Isadora and Duncan, believes that it is him. Count Olafs plan this time is one of his sneakiest plans ever. There the children are forced to live in a crummy shack and live without many other comforts. To find out the rest of this book you need to read it yourself. I thought this was a great book. It is thought provoking and you want to know what will happen next. It was one of the best books I have read. If you like suspence and not knowing what will happen next I would encourage you to read this book.
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Summary: Don't let the momento mori pass you by
Review: Further dire straights for the siblings three. Now our Baudelaire friends have been plunged into the depths of academia. In effect, they are no longer being put into the perilous hands of pseudo (and increasingly dying) relatives. Instead, they find themselves plunked into Prufrock Prep (motto Momento Mori). Their Vice Principal Nero is just as insane as their last guardian, but at least his set of crazy rules aren't too terrible. Though the Baudelaires do have to sleep in a dank, crab infested, fungus dripping shack, they're given enough to eat and new friends. Enter the Quagmire Triplets (of which there are two). Like the Baudelaires, their family died under mysterious fire related circumstances. Such similarities don't end there, however. The Quagmires also have a fortune awaiting them. With these new friends, the Baudelaires face up to the newest evil scheme of Count Olaf and his ridiculous disguises. This time, however, something goes terribly wrong.You know what I'd like to see in the series? I've only read five of these books thus far, and maybe this has already happened, but what I would really like to see someday is Count Olaf actually fool the Baudelaires with a disguise. Wouldn't that be interesting? But I suppose part of the point of the books is that Olaf really is a terrible terrible actor, despite his aspirations. This particular book in the series is a welcome addition. The first book established the plot, and the next three had a similar formula. With "The Austere Academy" we get a whole new element thrown in. The Quagmires are basically just as kind and intelligent as the Baudelaires, but with (ha ha) a little less luck. I've come to view these books as a kind of updated "Alice In Wonderland" for our generation. Like the Alice books, the Baudelaires are the only sane people in a world of half-crazed, maddened, and useless adults. Unlike Alice, however, they've an evil Count on their trail, constantly attempting to get his oily paws on their fortune. This is also the first book that I've noticed where Sunny begins using real words on a regular basis. It just goes to show that though the formula may remain the same, the characters are growing in spite of their circumstances. It bodes badly for the Baudelaires, and well for the series in general.
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Summary: Wowwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!
Review: I loved this book! It is really good. All of Lemony Snicket's books are good, but starting at five, they get reeally good! I would definitley recomend this book. It is full of adventure, and suspense. Read the Austere Acadamy today!!!!!!!
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Summary: The Baudelaire's Unfortunate Events- Part 5
Review: A Series of Unfortunate Events The Austere Academy
by Lemony Snicket
Reviewed by J.Fitterer
Period 5 In this story the Baudelaires are sent to an academy called the Austere Academy. It all begins in a small office. It is the office of their guardian and Vice Principal. His name is Nero. His computer will keep away Count Olaf, or so he says. Sunny is his secretary and Violet and Klaus are students at the academy. Violet's teacher is Mr.Remora and Klaus's teacher is Mrs.Bass. Mr.Remora talks about boring stories and Mrs.Bass measures everthing. The Baudelaires meet friends in this story(finally!). They are triplets named Isadora and Duncan. Their triplet died in a fire, so people mistake them for twins. The students must go to violin recitals for six hours each and every night. The Baudelaires have to live in a shack. They have to do a program called S.O.R.E. with their teacher Coach Genghis(who is really Count Olaf). At the end Count Olaf kidnaps Isadora and Duncan while they shout "VFD." I liked this book because of Mr.Remora and Mrs.Bass. Mr.Remora tells boring and pointless stories about himself all day long. An example is "One day I went to the store to purchase a carton of milk." Mrs.Bass makes her students measure, well everything she has to offer. One example is "I've got a box of pencils I want you all to measure." The teachers lend humor to the book and our nice people. I disliked this book due to the program called S.O.R.E. Having kids run countless laps around a field every night, I think, is just sad and wrong. They even made Sunny run, although it was really more like crawling as fast as she could. Coach Genghis is getting them in trouble with their teachers and Vice Principal Nero. They are also very tired and basically fall behind in their studies. My favorite part of this book was the part when the Baudelaires became friends with Isadora and Duncan. After all the horrible things that happened to them they get this one happy moment. Even though they get kidnapped at the end they are all still good friends. I find this touching and heart-warming for the Baudelaires at this moment in time.
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Summary: Rachelle from clarksville
Review: Its about three orphans whos parents had died when they were young, and they are always getting sent to different places, and how theyalways have to change their locations becuase Count Oloif!!!!!! Ones they get to the academy they get treated different because they are orphans. I really like this book because it was kind of like a mistery because they try to fnd out how to get Count Oliof but the police doen't bileve them, so the have to do it their self like detectives!!!!!!
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Summary: Michael Richview Middle
Review: This book mainly involves three orphans called the Bauldinlares. The
Bauldinlares are Violet, Klaus, Sunny. Count Olaf was the first person to get the orphans, but the orphans outsmarted him and escaped. After he got of jail he went after the Bauldinlare's fortune. He would disguise himself as a diffrent person and sneak into thier house nd kill ther guardians, but the orphans always seemed to escape. They were always fortunate to be alive. They were at the Austere Academy when thier new gym coach showed up. his name as Coach genghis, which actually count olaf. The orpahns knew right away who it was. They tried to aviod him as often as the could. The night of the concert, the orphans were out int the yard when Coach Genghis shoused up. The orphans ran and all he got was thier notebook. So, the orphams escaped again from vount olaf.
Rating: 
Summary: The Austere Academy
Review: The Austere Academy by Lemony Snicket is a great book. It is about three children named Violet, Klaus, and Sunny who's parents died in a fire. They now have to stay at a school with horrible rules. Also having a bad place to live in and a gym coach who is after their money. Can Sunny, Klaus, Violet keep their grades up and keep their fortune the way it is? This is a book that keeps you interested for the entire ride. I am a twelve year old boy in middle school.
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Summary: Sadness Reigns
Review: Can you find a more sad tale than this one? This is the saddest story out of all the ones I've read so far. The children, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are still trying to survive Count Olaf terror. These children must endure a self serving Vice Principal that loves to play the violin. They must put up with a bratty little girl that calls them names, and teachers that teach nothing. They have to run all night long, and their living conditions are terrible. They have to live with crabs, fungus, and a terrible paint job. But with all the negative, there is a ray of light in this story. Two rays of light. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny find friends that go out of their way to help them as much as they can. Unfortunately, their friends are kidnapped in the end, and of course, the adults in this story are useless and hopeless. Will they ever have any luck? Not according to Lemony Snicket. Overall, this is a really good book in the series. It made me feel so bad for them, and it left questions in my mind. I recommend this book for all of its genius, sadness, and its bit of 'mystery.' Joy.
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Summary: The Big Bad Wolf and school in one. Uh Oh!!
Review: The Austere Academy Lemony Snicket Scholastic 2001
This is a sad (but funny) tale of the Baudelaire orphans as they go to boarding school. They find that the villain Count Olaf has found them again, this time disguised as Coach Genghis. Unfortunately,Genghis gets away with the two Quagmire triplets who were the Baudelaires best friends. At the end of the book, just as the Baudelaire orphans think that Count Olaf's identity will be revealed Olaf says " I'm afraid I cannot take off my running shoes...I need them." With that, he runs away to a car which his assistants have waiting for him. The Baudelaires are startled for a moment then start running after him. They see that Olaf is kidnapping the two triplets, Isadora and Duncan Quagmire.Violet and Sunny Baudelaire remove Olaf's disguise and their brother Klause tries to save Isadora. Olaf kicks Klause away from the car, gets
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