Life Strategies for Teens

Rating:
Summary: A Helpful Translation of Teen Perspectives for Parents
Review: "Dad, trust me, when it comes to teens, you don't get it!" Thus, Mr. Jay McGraw told his Dad, Dr. Phil McGraw, that Dr. Phil was violating his own first rule for Life Strategies, You Either Get It or You Don't. Mr. Jay had wanted to use Life Strategies to improve his own life, and found that it took him 6 years (from age 13 to age 19) to translate the lessons into a teen perspective that made sense to Mr. Jay. Mr. Jay was naturally appalled when he found that Dr. Phil had a book contract to do a book on Life Strategies for teens. The project was reborn in Mr. Jay's hands.

By the time Mr. Jay was done, he was no longer a teen, having reached the ripe old age of 20. But his memory of teenage perspectives is strong and salty.

Early in the book, he candidly points out that the teen did not buy this book. It was a gift from an adult, usually a parent. And that's a very good point -- one that I would like to comment on.

I suggest that you read this book before giving it to anyone. That may be its greatest benefit. Mr. Jay does a good job of taking on the key psychological, social, and developmental challenges of the teenage years. As you visit these points of view, you can begin to see how your teenager might see you.

For example, do you ever tell you teen stories about what it was like when you were your teen's age? I know I do. Mr. Jay points out that any self-respecting teen "knows" that those old lessons don't apply now. Times are much different and tougher now. Dad or Mom is just being "boring" again.

Do you ever interrupt your teen? Mr. Jay indicates that that means "that Mom or Dad doesn't ever listen to me." That can cut off the possibility of communication.

There's also a wonderful section on the roles that teenager's today choose to play (their social masks). All of a sudden it clicked. I saw each of our teenager's friends fitting neatly into one of these categories. I could suddenly predict how each would respond in any given situation. Wow! What a gift! Thank you, Mr. Jay!! What has happened is that a few new categories have been established since the Middle Ages when I was a teenager. I am very glad to get up-to-date.

The book itself follows Dr. Phil's 10 laws. You can read my reviews of Life Strategies and the Life Strategies Workbook if you want to know more about them.

Mr. Jay takes the perspective of what the payoff is from the teenage years. For example, he candidly points out that you can decide not to get good grades. But you have to understand that that means that you will get less respect from everyone, and have fewer choices after high school is over. Coming from a parent, that would have sounded preachy. Coming from Mr. Jay, it just sounds matter-of-fact.

Many teenagers are into not reading anything they don't have to, so I don't know how many will read this book. From a psychological point of view, it probably should have been positioned as something like "Have Great Teen Years Without Being Hassled by Your Parents and Friends." The book needs more rebellion against the convention wisdom to be appealing.

Regardless, it is great for us parents. Enjoy the examples, learn the role-playing, appreciate the angst, and avoid acting "boring." And by the time your teen is 24, you'll start to look pretty good in her or his eyes again. Be patient in the meantime.

If you have a pretty good relationship with your teen, a possible approach is to start doing Life Strategies yourself. Ask your teen if he or she would help you with the exercises in that book. As you open up about your issues, hopes, and dreams, you may stimulate an interest in your teen. In the meantime, be sure you have a copy of this book around the house, and be perfectly open about reading it. Who knows what might develop next? You could possibly start a dialogue by asking your teen to tell you what the three things are that you do that most annoy your teen. Then, see if you can do better.

Communication is the most important bridge to your teenager's development. Keep building that bridge daily, in ways that your teenager likes!

Rating:
Summary: A Helpful Translation of Teen Perspectives for Parents
Review: "Dad, trust me, when it comes to teens, you don't get it!" Thus, Mr. Jay McGraw told his Dad, Dr. Phil McGraw, that Dr. Phil was violating his own first rule for Life Strategies, You Either Get It or You Don't. Mr. Jay had wanted to use Life Strategies to improve his own life, and found that it took him 6 years (from age 13 to age 19) to translate the lessons into a teen perspective that made sense to Mr. Jay. Mr. Jay was naturally appalled when he found that Dr. Phil had a book contract to do a book on Life Strategies for teens. The project was reborn in Mr. Jay's hands.

By the time Mr. Jay was done, he was no longer a teen, having reached the ripe old age of 20. But his memory of teenage perspectives is strong and salty.

Early in the book, he candidly points out that the teen did not buy this book. It was a gift from an adult, usually a parent. And that's a very good point -- one that I would like to comment on.

I suggest that you read this book before giving it to anyone. That may be its greatest benefit. Mr. Jay does a good job of taking on the key psychological, social, and developmental challenges of the teenage years. As you visit these points of view, you can begin to see how your teenager might see you.

For example, do you ever tell you teen stories about what it was like when you were your teen's age? I know I do. Mr. Jay points out that any self-respecting teen "knows" that those old lessons don't apply now. Times are much different and tougher now. Dad or Mom is just being "boring" again.

Do you ever interrupt your teen? Mr. Jay indicates that that means "that Mom or Dad doesn't ever listen to me." That can cut off the possibility of communication.

There's also a wonderful section on the roles that teenager's today choose to play (their social masks). All of a sudden it clicked. I saw each of our teenager's friends fitting neatly into one of these categories. I could suddenly predict how each would respond in any given situation. Wow! What a gift! Thank you, Mr. Jay!! What has happened is that a few new categories have been established since the Middle Ages when I was a teenager. I am very glad to get up-to-date.

The book itself follows Dr. Phil's 10 laws. You can read my reviews of Life Strategies and the Life Strategies Workbook if you want to know more about them.

Mr. Jay takes the perspective of what the payoff is from the teenage years. For example, he candidly points out that you can decide not to get good grades. But you have to understand that that means that you will get less respect from everyone, and have fewer choices after high school is over. Coming from a parent, that would have sounded preachy. Coming from Mr. Jay, it just sounds matter-of-fact.

Many teenagers are into not reading anything they don't have to, so I don't know how many will read this book. From a psychological point of view, it probably should have been positioned as something like "Have Great Teen Years Without Being Hassled by Your Parents and Friends." The book needs more rebellion against the convention wisdom to be appealing.

Regardless, it is great for us parents. Enjoy the examples, learn the role-playing, appreciate the angst, and avoid acting "boring." And by the time your teen is 24, you'll start to look pretty good in her or his eyes again. Be patient in the meantime.

If you have a pretty good relationship with your teen, a possible approach is to start doing Life Strategies yourself. Ask your teen if he or she would help you with the exercises in that book. As you open up about your issues, hopes, and dreams, you may stimulate an interest in your teen. In the meantime, be sure you have a copy of this book around the house, and be perfectly open about reading it. Who knows what might develop next? You could possibly start a dialogue by asking your teen to tell you what the three things are that you do that most annoy your teen. Then, see if you can do better.

Communication is the most important bridge to your teenager's development. Keep building that bridge daily, in ways that your teenager likes!

Rating:
Summary: Get after it...
Review: ... Thinking about shaping thier future, or even reading a self-help book is the last thing they have in mind. But somewehre in early adulthood, that changes, hopefully.... For my peers and those who are younger, there are many young adults out there who are floundering like fish out of water, getting a foothold in life. So if you're tired of sitting at home alone on a Saturday night, your mediocre grades, or how you think you can do your boss' job better than she can, it's time to do something about it, for real. This book is the best place to start.

Rating:
Summary: are you serious?
Review: A book by a rich priviledged teen! Just what we need!

Rating:
Summary: Outstanding Content, Questionable Composition
Review: A few months ago, I received this book as a birthday gift. I would have wanted to read it right away, except for the fact that I had already read "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens," which I didn't find very helpful in improving my life. "Life Strategies" was definitely more helpful than the "Seven Habits," but it did have its share of drawbacks.

First of all, as in "Seven Habits," the author is talking down to the audience. Although the intended audience is teenagers, we don't deserve to be talked to like children. Believe it or not, we do understand the writing that you'd find in any other book . . . I don't feel like there should have been any linguistic censorship made, at least not so obviously. The writing tends to belittle the reader. Also, the occasional insertion of profanity (geared towards communicating with teens?) was unnecessary and compromised the author's credibility somewhat. I think that it suffices to say that I am not happy with how this book was written. I find it hard to believe that it was edited at all -- an obvious spelling error on page 67 will support this argument.

Now, you're probably wondering why I gave this book four stars! I'm giving it four stars because if you can look past the shortcomings in the writing, the book is excellent. It is exactly what it claims to be -- a life strategy. I thought that the ten "life laws" were both accurate and useful. Unlike "Seven Habits," you will be left

feeling like you actually have a plan for your life. The composition may be lacking, but the content of the book is nearly flawless. Anyone who feels that there is room for improvement in his or her life will find this book to be an invaluable investment of time and effort.

When it comes to recommending this book to others, I'll give the same advice that I gave in my "Seven Habits" review. If you feel the need for improvement in your life -- if you feel like there's something missing -- please read this book. It will definitely provide you with a good plan for getting on track. But, if you are happy with your life as it is, reading this book will mostly be a waste of time and money. This book is centered around "self help," and if you're completely happy, you don't need self help. I certainly hope that those who need this book the most will disregard the poor language and give the ten Life Laws a try. If you get disillusioned, there's always the adult version -- "Life Strategies" by Phillip C. McGraw.

Rating:
Summary: Living A More Fulfilling Life
Review: A Few weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending a "Getting Real" Seminar in my home, Orlando, Florida. Not only was Dr. Phil fantastic by speaking (on his feet) for the better part of 5 hours, but his son, Jay, was there and took a part in the Seminar. Dr. Phil's younger son and wife were there also and they are an absolutely beautiful family! I was fortunate enough to meet and get autographs by both Dr. Phil and Jay on their respective publications. This was a fantastic experience that I would highly recommend to anyone who has the opportunity to attend one of these Seminars. After seeing and listening to Jay McGraw, I think he has a lot to offer teens and their families and this book is a good investment as, of course, are all of Dr. Phil's books.

Rating:
Summary: Look out Dr. Phil...
Review: After reading [another book] Phil, I was struggling to communicate that information to my teens. What a contribution Jay McGraw has made in bridging that gap. As a mother, step-mother, and friend to the teens that filter through our home, I am now better equipped in helping them "get it". I have been purchasing copies of Jay's remarkable book for them and now, they are on the way to actually "getting it" in their own unique ways. I consider this recommended reading for anyone that has or is around kids. It opens to us, their view of the world, the complexity of being a teen, the challenge of making good choices in today's society, and serves as a reminder that being a teen is a compendium of decisions that will alter their lives. I'll be handing this book out for years to come...

Rating:
Summary: Perfect!
Review: Being a teen myself this is one of the best books I've read! The young author knows exactly what he's talking about! He tells it like it is. I understood everything, *really* understood it. This book helped me gain a whole new perspective on life! After reading it from cover to cover, I've started reading it again just because its so awesome! Every teen needs this book. It should be called "The Teen Life Guidebook".

Rating:
Summary: If it was only that easy...
Review: Every teen, or even adult, can relate to the situations covered in this book. After reading the book, I realized the lesson I learned here that I'll actually remember is just to take action on things you want done.

Jay McGraw tells the facts straight up, whether good news or bad, which is good. Especially for a teen like me, it helps prepare for the world to come, with no unexpected bumps in the road.

I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a good read, and on some tips on improving your lifestyle.

Rating:
Summary: Bought this as a gift for a 18 year old.
Review: I bought this book as a Christmas present for a 18 year old, college freshman and was very concerned that it might be seen as "hokey". I have been assured that they actually read the book and really enjoyed it. I was told that even though it was about "stuff they already knew" it was told in a way that made them go "Aha". Would definitely recommend this book for all teens.