Shadows Bend: A Novel of the Fantastic and Unspeakable

Rating:
Summary: A Novel of Horrible and Unspeakable Fantasy
Review: Even when two writers write well, collaboration is an itchy thing. Unless the pair is deliberately writing two different voices, they must carefully mesh their styles and dialog into a seamless narrative designed to maintain the illusion that the book you are holding is a cohesive and unified whole. When done well, it can be a beautiful thing; two voices telling the same tale, adding idea to idea and raising the entire project to a sublime place.

If the writers are unqualified hacks, however, the mess resembles the result of a Creative Writing 101 final after the TA trips while carrying the manuscripts.

Can you guess into which category "Shadows Bend" falls?

Unqualified ha...I mean, writers David Barbour and Richard Raleigh have imagined a world in which two famous pulp writers meet in order to drop a coin into the jukebox from Hell in order to prevent the end of the world as we know it. "Oh," you think. "It's going to be that kind of novel."

Though HP Lovecraft and "Conan" creator Robert E. Howard never met, Barbour and Raleigh ask us to imagine that they did. Also, that Cthulhu and the rest of the Old Ones are real and trying to rend the fabric of time and space in order to occupy our universe. Also, that any godlike being would think our universe was worth occupying, but that's another matter completely.

It's an interesting premise, interesting enough to get me to plunk down my money and take my chance. But the result is something less than promised.

Lovecraft and Howard set off on a nostalgia tour down Route 66 in order to destroy "the artifact" that would allow the Old Ones into our parking space. Along the way they meet Glory, a college-educated former prostitute who has read the works of Lovecraft and Howard, as well as that of Clarke Ashton, who makes a brief appearance later, who joins them in their travels. Terrible things happen. They save the universe. Blah blah blah.

My quibbles with this novel are large, broad ones. Well, I have small, subtle ones, but I won't bore you with them unless you write and ask for them. First, it appears that Raleigh and Barbour did not even read one another's work as they wrote. In some chapters Robert Howard, a Texan, is portrayed as a fellow with a decent command of English. In others, he nearly eats the scenery by aw-shucksin' his way through his dialog like a cartoon cowboy. Second, do I really need to point out how damned unlikely it is that a woman in the late thirties would be educated in medieval literature, read pulp fiction and work as a prostitute? Third, Lovecraft is written as though he were Oscar Wilde or Quentin Crisp. Fourth, why didn't someone tell Barbour and Raleigh that Southwestern Indians aren't the cool mystical minority they once were? Fifth, well, the ending is so lame you won't believe it. I would assume that the reason a writer would want to include historical characters in a modern novel is because he has something to say about that person, or that person is just the right character on which to hang the plot. In this novel, Barbour and Raleigh might just as well have written about *me*. *I* can slip a coin into a slot, too. And I bet I would have picked the right one the first time out.

If you're a Lovecraft or Howard fan, you might want to read this, but my guess is that it would be just too painful to see these two men massacred in print like this. If you read only one book using Lovecraft and Howard as characters this year, um, on second thought, read something else.

Rating:
Summary: A Novel of Horrible and Unspeakable Fantasy
Review: Even when two writers write well, collaboration is an itchy thing. Unless the pair is deliberately writing two different voices, they must carefully mesh their styles and dialog into a seamless narrative designed to maintain the illusion that the book you are holding is a cohesive and unified whole. When done well, it can be a beautiful thing; two voices telling the same tale, adding idea to idea and raising the entire project to a sublime place.

If the writers are unqualified hacks, however, the mess resembles the result of a Creative Writing 101 final after the TA trips while carrying the manuscripts.

Can you guess into which category "Shadows Bend" falls?

Unqualified ha...I mean, writers David Barbour and Richard Raleigh have imagined a world in which two famous pulp writers meet in order to drop a coin into the jukebox from Hell in order to prevent the end of the world as we know it. "Oh," you think. "It's going to be that kind of novel."

Though HP Lovecraft and "Conan" creator Robert E. Howard never met, Barbour and Raleigh ask us to imagine that they did. Also, that Cthulhu and the rest of the Old Ones are real and trying to rend the fabric of time and space in order to occupy our universe. Also, that any godlike being would think our universe was worth occupying, but that's another matter completely.

It's an interesting premise, interesting enough to get me to plunk down my money and take my chance. But the result is something less than promised.

Lovecraft and Howard set off on a nostalgia tour down Route 66 in order to destroy "the artifact" that would allow the Old Ones into our parking space. Along the way they meet Glory, a college-educated former prostitute who has read the works of Lovecraft and Howard, as well as that of Clarke Ashton, who makes a brief appearance later, who joins them in their travels. Terrible things happen. They save the universe. Blah blah blah.

My quibbles with this novel are large, broad ones. Well, I have small, subtle ones, but I won't bore you with them unless you write and ask for them. First, it appears that Raleigh and Barbour did not even read one another's work as they wrote. In some chapters Robert Howard, a Texan, is portrayed as a fellow with a decent command of English. In others, he nearly eats the scenery by aw-shucksin' his way through his dialog like a cartoon cowboy. Second, do I really need to point out how damned unlikely it is that a woman in the late thirties would be educated in medieval literature, read pulp fiction and work as a prostitute? Third, Lovecraft is written as though he were Oscar Wilde or Quentin Crisp. Fourth, why didn't someone tell Barbour and Raleigh that Southwestern Indians aren't the cool mystical minority they once were? Fifth, well, the ending is so lame you won't believe it. I would assume that the reason a writer would want to include historical characters in a modern novel is because he has something to say about that person, or that person is just the right character on which to hang the plot. In this novel, Barbour and Raleigh might just as well have written about *me*. *I* can slip a coin into a slot, too. And I bet I would have picked the right one the first time out.

If you're a Lovecraft or Howard fan, you might want to read this, but my guess is that it would be just too painful to see these two men massacred in print like this. If you read only one book using Lovecraft and Howard as characters this year, um, on second thought, read something else.

Rating:
Summary: Surprising!
Review: I came to this book expecting to be entertained, since I'm a great fan of HPL, REH, and Clark Ashton Smith. I expected to have some mild fun being nostalgic about my favorite Pulp writers. So imagine my great surprise and my pleasure when this novel turned out to be far more than a buddy story road trip with Cthulhu in the background. Barbour and Raleigh (who, I think, must not really exist, since that's one of HPL's pseudonyms) have done an amazing job (really amazing!) of bringing these characters to life so that you really and truly care about what happens to them. The portrait isn't all sympathetic, either -- it's the complex reality of what these men must have been like in their time. I won't spoil the book by mentioning the ending, but suffice it to say that it brought tears to my eyes -- twice. I cannot give this book a greater recommendation except to say that I'm getting it for X-mas for all of my friends. Bravo, Barbour and Raleigh (if you exist)!

Rating:
Summary: Abbot and Costello Meet Cthulhu
Review: I have to say I was very disappointed in this book. If you are going to write a send up of the two kings of weird fiction, do it right! This book read like a version of "Laurel and Hardy Go Cross Country." As I read, I kept thinking of Felix Unger and Oscar Madison, a sort of Weird Tales Odd Couple episode. Better luck next time, guys!

Rating:
Summary: Creepy and terrific!
Review: I'm an old fan of pulp fiction, and the works of Lovecraft, Howard, Smith, et al. I found out about this book through an excellent review in Realms of Fantasy mag. by Gahan Wilson. Now, Wilson is no slouch, so when he likes a book, I know it's worth reading. Once again, he led me straight to a great read. The readers below seemed to have read a different book than me, or Mr. Wilson. It's a terrific, literate, haunting read, and does fascinating things with the main characters. I'll read this one again, and recommend it to friends. Bravo to the authors.

Rating:
Summary: Creepy and terrific!
Review: In short, this is mind candy, no less entertaining than a good fannish Cthulhu Mythos story, but not what I would have expected from people who claim to be HPL/REH fans. The basic idea is a good one: bring the "Three Musketeers of WEIRD TALES" (Howard, Lovecraft, and Clark Ashton Smith) together against creatures of the Mythos. Unfortunately, it's full of missteps (for one, the authors claim Howard created "Red Sonja", actually a 1970s comic-book invention based on a similarly named character from one of REH's historical stories). If you don't know much about REH/HPL, this won't bother you, but then why would you buy this book? Plotwise, it shambles along, like the menaces of the story, fantastic and unspeakable but ultimately disappointing.

Rating:
Summary: A Novel of the Superficial and Ineffectual
Review: In short, this is mind candy, no less entertaining than a good fannish Cthulhu Mythos story, but not what I would have expected from people who claim to be HPL/REH fans. The basic idea is a good one: bring the "Three Musketeers of WEIRD TALES" (Howard, Lovecraft, and Clark Ashton Smith) together against creatures of the Mythos. Unfortunately, it's full of missteps (for one, the authors claim Howard created "Red Sonja", actually a 1970s comic-book invention based on a similarly named character from one of REH's historical stories). If you don't know much about REH/HPL, this won't bother you, but then why would you buy this book? Plotwise, it shambles along, like the menaces of the story, fantastic and unspeakable but ultimately disappointing.

Rating:
Summary: A misfire...
Review: It's a good idea, marred by inept execution and literary inexperience. The three titans of WEIRD TALES, Lovecraft, Howard and Ashton Smith, accompanied by the Whore with a Heart of Gold that no fanboy fiction is complete without, tackle the invasion of Earth by Lovecraft's own Old Ones. There are a number of problems that distracted me from enjoying the read: (1) Lovecraft and Howard tend to be played for laughs. For instance, Lovecraft lived off cold pork and beans in the privacy of his hovel, but his feelings of social superiority were such that he would never dream of doing such a thing in public. And Howard comes off as singularly obtuse and clueless throughout. (2) Although the real Lovecraft loved to vary his speaking style to suit the audience, the Lovecraft of this book speaks always in a "precious" literary style which the authors' own ignorance of English tends to turn into gibberish in spots. Only Clark Ashton Smith comes over as a fairly well-rounded portrait of a real author.

The main problem is that the book has no plot. If the aim of the transdimensional shadow men is to get someone to place the stone Loveman sent to Lovecraft into a slot in a cave, it beggars even transdimensional reason that they do everything in their transdimensional powers to PREVENT the characters from getting to the slot in the cave! Everything could have been wrapped up in chapter 2, and all else is foot-dragging.

Apart from the red-haired harlot with the heart of gold, there is another terrible cliche in the novel, namely the all-wise Indian shaman, who foresees everything, but like the transdimensional shadow beings, has a singularly back-handed and contraverse way of helping our heroes! I kept expecting him to say, "Try not. Do, or do not!"

The adventure takes place just shortly prior to the real deaths of Howard and Lovecraft, and these deaths are woven into the novel's plot or lack thereof--- some will question the good taste or lack thereof in forcing real-life tragedies into the service of a pretty juvenile fiction.

This is only a hair above the "fan fiction" that nerds, dweebs, fanboys and other losers used to circulate at science fiction and comic book conventions, and nowadays tends to be posted on fanboy websites. There is even the requisite mention of nerd-fave singer and pianist Tori Amos, although this is thankfully confined to an appendix.

Rating:
Summary: A misfire...
Review: It's a good idea, marred by inept execution and literary inexperience. The three titans of WEIRD TALES, Lovecraft, Howard and Ashton Smith, accompanied by the Whore with a Heart of Gold that no fanboy fiction is complete without, tackle the invasion of Earth by Lovecraft's own Old Ones. There are a number of problems that distracted me from enjoying the read: (1) Lovecraft and Howard tend to be played for laughs. For instance, Lovecraft lived off cold pork and beans in the privacy of his hovel, but his feelings of social superiority were such that he would never dream of doing such a thing in public. And Howard comes off as singularly obtuse and clueless throughout. (2) Although the real Lovecraft loved to vary his speaking style to suit the audience, the Lovecraft of this book speaks always in a "precious" literary style which the authors' own ignorance of English tends to turn into gibberish in spots. Only Clark Ashton Smith comes over as a fairly well-rounded portrait of a real author.

The main problem is that the book has no plot. If the aim of the transdimensional shadow men is to get someone to place the stone Loveman sent to Lovecraft into a slot in a cave, it beggars even transdimensional reason that they do everything in their transdimensional powers to PREVENT the characters from getting to the slot in the cave! Everything could have been wrapped up in chapter 2, and all else is foot-dragging.

Apart from the red-haired harlot with the heart of gold, there is another terrible cliche in the novel, namely the all-wise Indian shaman, who foresees everything, but like the transdimensional shadow beings, has a singularly back-handed and contraverse way of helping our heroes! I kept expecting him to say, "Try not. Do, or do not!"

The adventure takes place just shortly prior to the real deaths of Howard and Lovecraft, and these deaths are woven into the novel's plot or lack thereof--- some will question the good taste or lack thereof in forcing real-life tragedies into the service of a pretty juvenile fiction.

This is only a hair above the "fan fiction" that nerds, dweebs, fanboys and other losers used to circulate at science fiction and comic book conventions, and nowadays tends to be posted on fanboy websites. There is even the requisite mention of nerd-fave singer and pianist Tori Amos, although this is thankfully confined to an appendix.

Rating:
Summary: Good, character driven fiction.
Review: This book and the previous review of it reminded me of something Stephen King taught in his On Writing memoir. King, as I've come to understand from reading On Writing, considers plot to be less of a focus when he writes fiction than his characters. He'll put a character in some "situation" and let them react to it, to see the outcome. Barbour and Raleigh seem to have done as much in Shadows Bend. In the novel, Howard and Lovecraft seem almost powerless to control their destiny, driving across the New Mexico desert until they are attacked, and the car is damaged, and an old Indian shaman laughs merrily on finding them. HE'S certainly expected this, if they haven't. I did find Robert E. Howard pretty stiff as a character, what with his "gettin' some grub" and whatnot. Especially early on. To understand, you ought to read One Who Walked Alone, the first-hand memoir of Howard's life. But Shadows Bend shapes up nicely as REH and HPL attempt to overcome their situation. Their goal of finding Clark Ashton Smith gives the necessary thrust to the story.