The Crooked World (Doctor Who)

Rating:
Summary: Drawing a Blanc
Review: For the first 40 years of its existence, "Doctor Who" did a story in every possible genre, except the musical and the cartoon.

Now, all that's left is the musical.

The Doctor has had a difficult time of it, in recent books. He's blown up his home planet, lost one of his hearts, spent a hundred years in exile in England, made a new mortal enemy, and, very unsuccessfully, run a brothel. In the middle of all this, the TARDIS materializes in a world populated entirely by cartoon characters from the Warner Brothers and Hanna-Barbera universes. Or, rather, since the BBC doesn't spend a lot of copyright clearance money on these "Who" books, nifty imitations thereof. Author Steve Lyons hits all the obvious targets, and a few not-so-obvious ones, in his exploration of what would happen when British sci-fi icons interact with famous American cartoon characters.

Thing is, why does Lyons take this setup so seriously? Within 50 pages of the TARDIS's arrival, Fitz has fallen in love with Penelope Pitstop, and Porky Pig's tried to kill himself. Later, Tom goes on trial for the brutal murder of Jerry, there's a massive riot (complete with deadly anvils) and Scooby-Doo... well, nothing bad happens to Scooby-Doo. But "Crooked World" is still a whole lot more somber than you'd expect for a book with Road-Runner on the cover.

"Crooked World" is a short read (240-odd pages with really large print) and even a ponderous reader like me finished it in just two days. All the old cartoon conventions are pointed at and exploited, and everyone goes away happy, be it time-traveller or Deputy Dawg (or was that Huckleberry Hound?). Steve Lyons' "Who" books tend to be either widely satirical or overly somber. "Crooked World" blurs the lines together and, in the midst of a pretty serious run of "Who" books (that will get even more serious before the entire 2002 production run is out), provides some of the louder laughs of the year.

Rating:
Summary: The Six Degrees of Streaky Bacon
Review: I can't believe that I'm going to be so positive about a book with a childishly cartoon cover and one that is set not a million miles away from Porky Pig's dwelling, but here goes -- THE CROOKED WORLD is the best EDA of the year so far. I'm not entirely sure how Steve Lyons managed to pull off such a feat, but this is certainly an impressive piece of writing. The jokes come, not at the expense of the material, but with a love of the source, and the intelligent look at what is being parodied is done in a subtle touching way that I hadn't guessed was possible.

For many of us, the cartoons recreated and joked about in this book are pieces of fiction that we've been watching for as long as we can remember (even longer than Doctor Who in some cases!) and the familiarity with this material gives Lyons quite an advantage here. With only a few carefully constructed sentences, he can tap into literally hours worth of memories of Acme Co. anvils, mice cleverly outwitting cats and other staples of the Loony Toons and Merry Melodies universes. All the work has been done in the past, and Lyons can easily invoke the material that has already been created.

But what makes THE CROOKED WORLD so special is not merely that he's putting the Doctor Who characters into a cartoon universe (as GRIMM REALITY merely placed the regulars in the world of fairy tales), it's that he is able to bring the cartoon world closer to the real one, subverting the conventions of that genre. He holds it up to the light, not just to point out that the physics in Bug Bunny sketches is faulty, but to demonstrate the real fundamental differences. The cartoon people (made up of assorted pigs, dogs, cats, and others) are embarking upon a very clearly defined journey from two-dimensional silliness to something greater. Like observing children as they turn into adults, we can anticipate many of the trials and tribulations they will encounter, but we keep watching to see how they'll deal with these real world concepts. A lot of the success of this book comes down to the subtle cleverness of Lyons' writing skills. Indeed, there are death scenes that are as affecting as any ever seen in Doctor Who, and the characters are among the most interesting ever seen in the series. Maybe it's more emotionally powerful because we've known characters like this all of our lives, but whatever the reason, it is very involving.

I have no idea what someone would make of this if they weren't at least a little familiar with the cartoons being lovingly mocked here. Fortunately, Lyons manages to subvert a lot of the conventions of this genre, so I'd imagine that even someone who's had a cave for an address for the past fifty years would find something enjoyable here. Certainly I found much here that was unbelievably entertaining and unexpectedly touching. Rarely has death and pain been touched on so expertly in the Doctor Who books and the fact that the people dying and suffering are evolving cartoon characters just goes to demonstrate how powerful the writing is. Definitely an EDA not to be missed. (And the Scooby Doo jokes are hilarious.)

Rating:
Summary: But it's only a toon! Right?
Review: In the land of cartoons, everything stays the same. Sylvester will never catch Tweety. Wile E. Coyote will never catch the roadrunner. Elmer will never catch Bugs. It's comfortable, and we like it that way. But what do they think? Is Sylvester happy chasing Tweety all the time? Does Daffy like constantly being blown up, only to come back as good as new? Do we ever think to ask? Of course not. These are cartoons. They don't have feelings. Right?

The Crooked World, by Steve Lyons, takes us to a world where cartoons are real. Not only real, but stuck in the same motions again and again. Nothing ever changes here, and the inhabitants don't know any better. Cats chase birds and mice because that's just the way it is. Everything works like it does in the cartoons that you and I grew up with. Until the Doctor and his companions show up. Streaky Bacon, a hunter after the Whatchamacallit (a fast-running bird) to protect his crops, accidentally ends up shooting the Doctor in the chest. As the Doctor lies bleeding, Streaky realizes that he's not going to just get up again and run away like has always happened before. This sparks a virus that spreads like wildfire throughout the Crooked World. This isn't a medical virus. Instead, it's a free will virus. All of a sudden, toons are starting to actually think about their circumstances. Why should the cat never get the mouse? Why should the villains always fail but get away to scheme another day?

Having introduced these thoughts to the residents, the Doctor, Fitz & Anji decide they should stay to help the toons through the transition. Once the toons start to think, there is no going back. The only question is: how much bloodshed and real violence will occur while they come to terms with what's happened to them? What's the secret of Spooky Manor, and why can't anyone approach it? Does it hold the secret of what created this world? Or is it just a place for "those meddling kids" to operate?

I love this book. I have not seen a book that works comedy in with a poignancy that's unequaled in any Who book I've read recently. These are just cartoons, but Lyons gives them character beyond that, making you really care about what happens to them. He balances the superficiality of the cartoon with the richness of three-dimensional characters so superbly that I have to shake my head. He is able to make points about free will even as he demonstrates the absurdity of the situation. He's even able to get jokes in there which will make you laugh hard if you're familiar with the cartoons at all (the Scooby Doo parody is spot-on, with them having to take a long, winding route to get where they have to go because the van would break down if they get anywhere near a place that's even remotely spooky).

Even as you recognize where most of the main toon characters came from (Sylvester, Tom & Jerry, the Scooby Doo gang, Elmer Fudd/Porky Pig, Scrappy Doo and other recognizable faces, all with different names of course), Lyons is able to give them their own personality, shining especially bright as they slowly start to realize that there's more to life then what they've constantly been doing for who knows how long. Boss Dogg, the sheriff, is determined that things will go back to the way they were, and everybody should just "get over" all this free thinking stuff. Especially touching, however, is Jasper. He's "Tom" from the Tom & Jerry cartoons, so he can't talk. But he's desperate to find out what he's been missing once he's able to think, and he looks to Fitz for guidance. Not being able to speak, he tries to do the only thing he can do, scratch out four little words: WHAT SHOULD I DO? He's also the first one to have to face the consequences of what free will gives them. Streaky also falls to the depths of despair over what he's done and his confusion over what to do. Some of the scenes involving him brought a tear to my eye, especially when he hits rock bottom but can't do anything about it.

The regulars are handled competently, though they act more as catalysts in this story then anything else. Fitz fall for Angel Falls (Penelope Pitstop) and tries to show her other things you can do with free will, though he finds out more (or, I guess, less) than he's looking for once he gets her to accept it. Anji hooks up with the Skeleton Crew and becomes another "meddling kid." The Doctor, however, is wonderful. He knows that they are the cause of everything and he feels nothing but compassion for these toons. He brings the entire free will issue into perspective.

The book only has a couple of problems, and one of them isn't even the author's fault, instead caused by the way these books are produced. In The Book of the Still, Anji makes a lot of Scooby Doo comparisons. Yet in The Crooked World, she joins up with something that is so obviously a parody of the whole Scooby Doo concept and she acts like she's never heard of such a thing. Obviously, Lyons didn't know that the previous author was going to put Scooby references in and thus he didn't think he needed to explain it. The other fault is an ongoing joke about wrapped sticks of dynamite never going off, but it really doesn't lead anywhere.

Other than that, though, I found this book perfect. I have never laughed and teared up so much at the same time as I did with this book. Steve Lyons has written a classic Who book, one that even non-Who fans can enjoy. It is just that good.

David Roy