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Everything Can Be Beaten

Everything Can Be Beaten

List Price: $3.95
Your Price: $3.95
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Utter garbage.
Review: Crap like this is unnecessary. This is not funny subject matter. It is irresponsible, immature authors like this who help fill our jails with young people who take his writing seriously. This is the kind of garbage that gives rise to abuse and crime, because people think it's funny to imitate. This book may be intended as a joke, but funny it's NOT. Grow up and throw this in the garbage where it belongs. Beating things and abuse is not funny, nor is it OK for any reason. Just ask someone who has been abused how "fun" it is.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Content not packaging
Review: Don't expect something huge and splashy. It's the idea and story that counts. Besides, it's made by Jhonen, and if you're a fan you'll NEED this.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Content not packaging
Review: Don't expect something huge and splashy. It's the idea and story that counts. Besides, it's made by Jhonen, and if you're a fan you'll NEED this.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: "Everything" can be Fun!
Review: I have been a big fan of Jhonen Vasquez's for a long time now. When I found out he had something new, I had to get it.

EVERYTHING CAN BE BEATEN follows the story of IT, a being who's sole purpose in life is to beat kittens. Until one day, when he notices a door in his 'beating' room that leads to... he doesn't know! So, he goes through it to find a cutesy, color-filled, squishy world of joy and happiness! Soon, however, he is saddened by the realization that he is useless in this world. Then, in a fit of despair and anger he discovers that everything CAN be beaten! And beat he does! He beats everything he can find, decimating everything! Then, he sits and waits for a million years or so. Then he does it again!

It's morbid fun with just a hint of philosophy. Not so much so that you think "Hey, this is just trying to teach me a lesson! BLAH! GET AWAY FROM ME!". It's more like "oooh! This is fun! I like it! AND it's educational!" Won't the parent's love that?!

I give it two mallets up!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Perfect!
Review: Just what we were expecting from "Chancre Scolex". Great painted illustrations by "Crab Scrambly." If you are a fan of Vasquez, you WILL enjoy this. Keep on hammering those kittens.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Taste The Bloodshed!
Review: Not Jhonen's best work, but it's worth it for the art, Crab Scrambly is an amazing artist.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Gee, am I reviewing the book itself or the story inside it?
Review: Once there was a girl named Heather, who loved to read hilarious, slightly sadistic, satirical-type things like Catch-22 and such. One day, during her usual frolic through the proverbial book-leaden pastures of Amazon.com, she happened upon a deliciously insightful little curiosity entitled "Everything Can Be Beaten," by Scolex and Scrambly. Intrigued, she clicked on the link and read the sparkling reviews by many a satisfied customer. "It must be fantabulous!" she concluded, and bought it. Eight long days later, a little brown package arrived. Ecstatic, Heather ripped open the box and pulled out a small, thin pamphlet that looked like it came in a happy meal. Her heart sank. This was no happy meal pamphlet-it was the book!

Needless to say, Heather was gravely disappointed. She was expecting a small paperback book, as the Amazonian product description puts it. Though it was surely made of paper, it was flimsy and hardly what one would call a proper book. "What type of binding?" one might ask... WHAT binding? It's stapled together!

As far as what was printed inside the book (which is really what counts), Heather was not disappointed at all. In fact, it nearly made her forget how sad the book's outside made her feel. However, she did ask me to mention that every single "e" in the book is printed backwards, which makes it very difficult to read. This taste of dyslexia, although a possibly valuable life experience, is hardly an enjoyable one.

Other than the book's disappointing construction and impossible font, Heather found no fault with it. "Read it!" she says, "But don't expect a high-quality library edition with a sewn binding and easily manageable text." Consider yourself aptly warned.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: i beat you
Review: this bizarre little story starts off with a guy who is in a room beating animals who slide down a slot. then he goes into a happy land where everything is happy and he kills everything. so everything is sad. he goes to sleep for years and years and everything is living again so he kills everything. then he goes into his room and sees someone has taken his job of killing the animals sliding down. he beats him. it's a great short story.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: From a Vasquez fan...
Review: This is a collaboration(spelling?) of Crab Scrambly and Jhonen Vasquez(under Chancre Scolex)'s work... the illustrations by Scrambly and the words by Jho...I mean Chancre. It's a really intriguing book, if you think about it, there's a subliminal message about stupid people in it. Hehe, stupid people...

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: It's True, You Know.
Review: Wonderous and Beautiful. Feed the angry monkey in your mind. Taught me so very much about the world.


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