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Rating: 
Summary: Helped me with defensive teen
Review: I had bought this book, thinking it would teach my teen how to be less defensive. What it did was teach me how to deal with her defensiveness. I found that, by using the book's techniques, I was able to defuse potential battles and our house is much, much calmer as I can now defuse the power struggles she initiates. I also found that I have used the techniques many times with others in the family and with those in various groups to which I belong. I have been reading and re-reading the book ever since I got it a year ago, to ingrain the techniques. I cannot recommend this book more highly. It opened my eyes and changed my way of communicating.
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Summary: This book is a must! Really.
Review: I happened upon this book surfing the net for something else, and when I saw the title, I ordered it right away hoping it would be good. I haven't finished it yet, because my husband and I are reading it aloud to each other whenever we get the chance. But we are well into it, and it is excellent. I can't believe it isn't more popular. The first part of the book is about how we (as a culture) learn to communicate and use language based on a war model. She gives examples of every war tactic and how that plays out in real-life day-to-day situations. I guarantee, they will all be familiar to you. She doesn't miss much in analyzing how people unintentionally communicate poorly with one another. I went to a party after reading that section and was hyper-aware of how I and others communicated. It was very interesting and helpful. But I couldn't wait to get to the next section on how to communicate well! The rest of the book is about how to replace the old unhealthy way of communicating with a healthy way of communicating that gives you power and confidence in your day-to-day interactions, and minimizes conflict. Her theory that we need to "take the war out of our words" before we can achieve peace at home and in the world, to me, seems like an obvious but brilliant perception. She seems very dedicated to spreading this message and educating people. I think she does an excellent job. This is the kind of stuff I wish we were learning in our schools! Great read.
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Summary: hopeful and helpful change for society
Review: Ms. Ellison has written a profoundly important book. Practicing the principles she lays out so clearly will promote the small changes we all need to improve our lives that can lead to larger change in society as a whole. The book contains no fluff or padding- unlike so many books in the "self help" genre- just simply stated useful information from first page to last. I am a family therapist who has been dealing with communications issues for a long time and i have learned enormously from this book and have suggested it to all of my clients and friends. The author has created a well thought out system to teach how being vulnerable, open and clear can make us inhabit our own power as well. The skills she teaches are applicable to all relationships in our lives. This is truly an important work of substantive contribution to our society.
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Summary: hopeful and helpful change for society
Review: Sharon Ellison's Powerful, Non-Defensive Communication method inspired me and made me eager to incorporate her discovery of a non-defensive form of communication into my own relationships. Sharon's book takes you through several different types of scenarios where her method can prevent those knots and tangles we sometimes find ourselves caught up in. More importantly, without having to provide real examples for every single type of situation requiring communication; she is able to provide clear, in-depth explanations for understanding this concept. For me, this book will serve as a resourceful tool, which I will turn to repeatedly until I have mastered this concept. I have been able to test this method with that most difficult person in my life. To my absolute amazement I was able to diffuse the anger and aggression in an instant. The response was calm, agreable, and seemed to put this person in think-mode over what they were feeling, where I had typically expected irrational conflict and excessive verbal abuse. I am actually able to speak without compromising my integrity or becoming entrapped in that power struggle. In past, other methods were short-lived and effective up until that difficult person caught on to my pattern of communicating. Using Sharon's method, I am able to stay true to myself without a need for masking those feelings in order to remain protected. I am willing to say that I believe this book may be preventing many years of unnecessary, damaging stress to my life. It is my opinion that this method should be mandated as an academic course within our schools today. I believe it is a wonderful and positive way to start out our continued struggle toward peace and understanding for one another!
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