Final Gifts : Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying

Rating:
Summary: Helpful
Review: Lots of case histories, although each very brief. An explanation of Nearing Death Awareness. What to expect from a dying person and how to respond to him/her in a loving, supportive way. What the dying person feels, emotionally. It has been very helpful.

Rating:
Summary: A must read
Review: The last gift we can give someone as they approach death is to journey with them unafraid. Final Gifts gives you insight to the communication of the dying. My sister saw Heaven the day before she died and described it. If I had not read this book I would have dismissed her words as a hallucination. My mother would not read it until after my sister died and then her response was, "Oh, now I know why she said/did what she did those last few days". This book is appropriate in every situation where death is imminent.

Rating:
Summary: Final Gifts
Review: Final Gifts is one of the most helpful books I have ever read. Being a Hospice volunteer, it has helped me in dealing with patients and their families. Now I give the book to families of the dying so that it may help them through their journey with their loved one. It is a must read for the families going through the dying process, so that they can understand the patients wants and needs and know how to interpret the actions of the patients in their final days.

Rating:
Summary: End of Life Review
Review: Benjamin Mahdi
November 27, 2002
Book Review: Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying
By Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley

This book first caught my attention when I was doing research into how family caregivers deal with loved ones plagued with Alzheimer's disease. Although Alzheimer's is not a terminal illness the enduring journey does lead to the unfortunate passing of a loved one. The authors illustrate the process of death and the reactions very well. They draw to an interesting parallel between birth and dying, and how this can be looked upon simply as a cycle. Yet they go into further detail about the way each individual reacts to the idea of dying.
A main thought that is preached throughout book is that of informing both patient and family about the disease. The coping process becomes so much more difficult when uncertainty is placed into the outcome of the dying patient's future. To prevent this, the authors suggest not keeping the family or patient in the dark about the disease, but educating them to anything that may occur. In turn this relieves much anxiety and fear for the whole family, and allows them to continue through the coping process. An issue that was raised in this book was the notion of a peaceful death. Although this did not cover how a family caregiver is to deal with the situation, it can be easily applied. The primary thought is the acceptance that ones loved one is going to die and also the importance of dying peacefully. This means both at peace with ones mind and also in regards to physical comfort. Through the acceptance of death, the caregiver can be able to offer the support needed to the dying patient and also his family.
Many issues are raised into the need to listen to those that are dying. The book lays forth guidelines to understanding the signs a dying patient gives and also how to react them. Furthermore the authors' illustrations of the events prior to death are done very well through narrated stories. These stories allow the reader to relate better to the end of life ideas. As a result the authors have compiled both an informative and interesting book to read that provokes many of us to rethink the notion of death.

Rating:
Summary: A must read for everyone
Review: A friend told me about this book as my mother-in-law was dying of cancer. My husband, our daughter and I had the honor of caring for her with our local hospice. Sometimes it is difficult to help those we love the most. This book was so valuable in helping us tune into what she was telling us and how to lend the emotional support that she needed. It helped us to be aware of physical and emotional changes in her final days. The experiences of those in the book gave us many insights and made our experience so much more meaningful and beautiful. We have since loaned our copy several times with much love and empathy. I can't thank these wonderful woman enough for writing this book, and I will be forever grateful to my friend for recommending it.

Rating:
Summary: Helpful, even after the death of a loved one
Review: This book was given to me the day before we lost our neice to leukemia. Even though I didn't get to read it until after she died I found that it affirmed the many conversations that we did have about her leaving. I found myself nodding in understanding many times--it was very comforting to me. The book offers so much honest, nondenominational introspection into the conversations one can have with a dying loved one. And I found that it was refreshingly non- judgemental regarding whether you believed in an afterlife or not. I would recommend it to anyone who is in the process of helping someone they love complete their life.

Rating:
Summary: Empowering and comforting
Review: Final Gifts is the best and most practical book I've ever read.

What I appreciate most about the book is that it is empowering and comforting to both the loved ones of the dying and the dying themselves. In fact, I own 3 copies of Final Gifts and I loan them out to friends, family and acquaintances when I hear they have a loved one who is dying. To a person, they have returned the book to me and said it dramatically changed their lives and their perspective on how to approach their loved one and his/her death.

The book is about the gifts that the loved one has to pass on to the survivors (and vice versa), even when it may seem the dying person is incoherent or drugged beyond understanding (this is often when he/she needs to communicate most). In a nutshell, Final Gifts encourages caretakers and visitors to pay attention to the communications of the dying, to learn the communication methods of the dying (they often use symbols to communicate--the authors explain how to decipher these), and to acknowledge that the dying need those around him/her to be honest about the situation and encourage openness in their communication.

The book is also very comforting in its description of numerous case studies observed by the two authors. They explain what the dying experience (it's actually very positive) and how to let go.

EVERYONE should read this book. EVERYONE--regardless of educational level (it's a fast and easy read), personal or professional background.

When you don't know how to help someone whose loved one is dying, give them this book. I promise, it will help them and comfort them beyond measure.

Rating:
Summary: A courageous, wise, life-changing book
Review: Death: a depressing topic, one to be dealt with only when absolutely necessary and avoided the rest of the time? This book, in its own small, quiet, but unflinchingly honest way, will change your opinion about the topic.

And if you have family or a friend dying slowly, as I did (my grandmother) when I first saw Maggie Callahan on public TV, this book is also a practical resource that answers questions, soothes concerns and literally can transform relationships. Through it I was able to come to terms with my lack of power to change certain things, to appreciate what time I had left, communicate openly and honestly with both my grandmother and other family members, and come to prevent what I'm sure might have been regret along with my grief when she passed.

The authors explain the dying process in detail that would be excruciating if it weren't so sensitively and lovingly handled. More important, they get into spiritual issues concerning how the dying communicate in sometimes cryptic or symbolic ways. Out of the many anecdotes in the book, culled from the authors' wide experiences as hospice nurses, comes a wonderfully reassuring, even magical appreciation of the mysteries of life, death, the spaces in between, what it means to be human, and how the right approach to dying can be spiritually healing.

Whether for practical application or just as an exploration of our own nature--and a fascinating one at that--this book is well worth the easy, rewarding read.

Rating:
Summary: The Dying Process
Review: This book should be read by everyone, even if you aren't facing a loved one dying. The personal help gained is beyond measure for both the reader and the person facing the end of life.

Rating:
Summary: Insightful and informative
Review: As a Hospice volunteer I was told this book might be helpful to me. Little did I realize that not only would it be helpful in my Hospice training but also in my life. I can't really explain how this book changed my views on death, but it completely transformed everything I had previously thought about the dying and the process they go through. A must read for anyone who has or had a loved one pass on or for anyone who is fearful of death. A wonderfully touching and very well written book!