Believing as Ourselves

Rating:
Summary: I badly needed this book
Review: "Believing as Ourselves" starts out very strong. Many Muslimas from Western cultures will be nodding their heads and saying 'Yes! That's exactly it!' out loud for about five chapters.

But after that, the book meanders too much. It borders on insulting and troublesome (Islamically) at some points (the chapter on Arabic, for example). At other times, she pulls back just when it seems she's about to make a major revelation. When she's giving advice on how to improve oneself (such as the advice to take long walks), she's at her best.

However, I was bothered by the lack of Islamic resources / sources in this area. Gary Zukav is referenced, as are many of the great writers of the English language, but quotes from the Qur'an, Sunnah, and writings of the great scholars (including those of Tasawwuf, which is all about improving oneself) are rare. For some, that might not be an issue, but for others, it will be. Others might find the long and frequent quotes from works of English literature to be annoying or tiresome.

I was also bothered by the assumption that every female convert (or non convert who grew up in a Western culture) will have the same negative experiences as Jones has. As valid as many of the complaints about communities are, I personally would like to avoid the tendency to always paint converts as unwitting or weak victims of an ignorant and not often Islamic Muslim community. Are converts not adults who found the strength to follow God's religion? Do Muslim women suddenly become spineless weaklings upon converting or are we (all of us) actually capable of effecting change in our communities on our own?

I was also bothered by the virtual throwing in of the towel by Jones when it comes to being involved in the community. It's one thing to talk about problems that are real, but what good is it if you advocate withdrawal from the community? All you do is aid and abet those who will go on to make a new generation of new Muslimas miserable instead of trying to improve things or creating a support network that exists alongside or even outside of any particular masjid community. If someone withdraws from the community for a time for their own mental and spiritual health, that's a good thing. But Jones never advises people on how to re-integrate into the community later, a complaint some of my friends also had.

I would have also liked it if advice was directed at new Muslim men as well. I know that Jones is a woman and so, can only speak for Muslim women's experiences, but the reality is that male converts are very often ignored, by both "native" (as Jones terms them) and converted Muslims.

Finally, something most likely beyond Jones' control: the physical package of the book itself. The jacket description, in my opinion, is misleading and vague. The book turned out to be not what it seems to be from the description, and I felt that could be fine-tuned. As others mentioned, there are also numerous typos, grammatical, and formatting problems as well.

Rating:
Summary: A good and important start, albeit with some major drawbacks
Review: I have many of the same critiques that my good friend Umm Zaid wrote about in her review and I also found myself saying "Yes! exactly! But, no, wait..." over and over again. It is a NEEDED and important book for sure and despite its shortcomings I recommend it to all my convert friends to the extent that my personal copy is getting severely damaged from lending it out so much!

I say it is a needed book because it is essentially a book about one woman's experiences with the pathologies of Muslim communities in the United States and they way they relate to American converts (particularly women), and it is SO IMPORTANT that other sisters who are converts know that they are not alone in their experiences and negative feelings about certain aspects of life in American Muslim communities or within Muslim families. I believe that just letting other converts know that "you are not alone" can be a faith-saver for some people and for that I think it is an important book. The author's comparison between the application of Islam and the application of geometry (the principles of both are true, but just because people don't always apply them correctly doesn't affect the truth of the principles) brilliantly sums up what so many of us need to hear-that the imperfections of our communities should not discourage us from being Muslims from within ourselves. The distinctly American, conversational tone of the writing, complete with sarcastic and humorous statements, make this book all the more comforting in this respect.

However, the fact that the book is written as a personal narrative by the author makes things difficult for me. For starters it makes me feel uncomfortable even discussing the parts of it I disagree with (in some cases strongly so) without feeling like I'm either directly or indirectly backbiting the sister who wrote it, as this book is basically an autobiography. In fact, she is quite courageous in revealing things about herself and her life that may be uncomfortable for her, and my admiration of her willingness to do that makes this issue that much more difficult for me. I think I would have liked to see (or would like to see in the future) a book on this subject done more along the lines of "Daughters of Another Path" where many convert women would be surveyed and asked for narratives so that a diversity of experiences and suggestions can be included, and not just one person's. More issues might have been brought into the book, such as my personal pet-peeve (hinted at but never discussed) which is the bad treatment of children both by Muslim families and the neglect of children in Muslim community centers. Many sisters who become Muslim leave behind a church community in which there are abundant Sunday School, child care, and youth group activities and may be shocked to find that most Muslim communities have absolutely none of this.

This is also an important book particularly for convert sisters who are married to Arab men. The author's own husband is Palestinian and she talks in great detail about her negative experiences with Arab culture and her Arab family's negative reactions to her and other American Muslim women. Again, a great way to feel like you're not alone in your experiences. Convert women who are married to men of other nationalities may not fully understand those sections but may see parallels in their own husbands' respective cultures.

I did feel though that the book had an overall negative slant and at the end I felt like the book stopped at a drop-out from Islamic community life as a whole and an "I give up" attitude without any further suggestions besides a retreat into self. I say this without bias because I myself am in that stage at this writing, but because the book contained virtually no Islamic references for how to go about a retreat into self (at the minimum a bibliography for that purpose would have been nice), I felt an absence of an Islamic awareness or striving towards complete reliance on Allah that I would have liked to see reflected in the book's conclusion.

I also agree with Umm Zaid that the book was significantly lacking in Islamic references for me. It left me feeling that the author had not continued to seek Islamic sources for her spiritual inspiration and self-improvement. There are many, many quotes from English literature and non-Muslim writers and philosophers but I would have liked to see those balanced with parallel quotes and wisdom from Classical Islamic sources. There are many books by Al-Ghazali translated into English now, and an increasing number of English-speaking, American Islamic scholars who address exactly the issues dealt with in this book using Classical Islamic sources, so I was really surprised to find nothing of what I've personally learned from such sources mirrored in the book.

There are also some statements in the book that she did not research before making-such as the claim that Arabic is not a "divine language" and is not any more special than any other language for worship purposes-this is completely untrue and although I sympathize with the author's difficulties in learning Arabic (I know full well that bad teaching methods and lack of resources make it really hard for many people to learn Arabic) I found the author's diatribe against Arabic and attempt to discount the importance of Arabic to be ill-informed and offensive.

So overall, while I have some serious issues with this book, I consider it a good start and a comforting voice in the sea of mostly ridiculous Islamic books which never deal with real issues head-on. I recommend it with a grain of salt.

Rating:
Summary: Inspiring Book
Review: Simply put, this book is one of the best religous-based books I have read in a long time. The author's personal insights into embracing a new religion are applicable not only to converts to Islam, but I believe, to any religion. Whether you are a man or a woman, a revert born believer, or someone simply with an interest in Islam, this book is a must-read. It offers a refreshing perspective on the benefits of having faith in our own lives, and will cause great inner contemplation on how we can strengthen our own personal relationship with God, our families, and our Islamic communities. Believing as Ourselves is one of those rare, special books that you will want to recommend to all of your friends, Muslim or non-Muslim.

Rating:
Summary: Honest and Insightful
Review: This book tells of one woman's spiritual journey over a 16-year period as a Muslim convert. The author generously & honestly describes the challenges she has faced in the Muslim community as well her own personal struggles. This was a book that I could not put down. After I finished it, it continued to fill my thoughts and conversations with others.

We need this voice in this the Muslim community! The author writes with humor, passion and total honesty about such topics as hijab, prayer, mosque dynamics, shame, backbiting, and the domestic life of a Muslim wife. She offers advice, antecdotes and delightful prose with insight and wit.

The book is thoughtfully put together with both relevant ayahs from the Quran and inspiring quotations. The foreward by Dr. Jeffery Lang adds to the quality of the book.

For readers who are eager to look for flaws, you may be missing the essence of the book. Don't let your reading be colored by your own denial, defensiveness and/or envy.

Rating:
Summary: A Book for American Converts to Islam
Review: This was a very good read. The author is honest, funny and entertaining. I read this book in 2 days, and sometimes I wiped a tear , but mostly I was laughing out loud. I also liked the quotes in the book, although I felt they were a bit too many.Two important messages are: Muslims do not reflect Islam, so don't judge Islam by its followers, and don't forget that its mostly between you and God, so don't fear people and what they may think or say more than you do God.
This book is about an American woman convert in the American Muslim community and it gives a good look into that and offers sound advice for new converts or those who find that they are loosing their steam. As a book that is specifically directed at American converts to Islam ,this is not a book to read if you want to learn about Islam in general. For that reason I don't recommend this book for non-Muslims or for "native" Muslims.

Rating:
Summary: Refreshing and Thought Provoking
Review: This was one of those books that I just couldn't put down! I read this book around the same time that I read Jeffrey Lang's two books, and I felt this book was easier to read than Dr. Lang's books (although they were good too). Perhaps that is because I could relate to Jones' experience more....

A couple of reviewers mentioned that Jones didn't use Islamic references to back up her material and that she did not give Islamic guidance on how to deal with the issues of alienation and injustice that plague the Muslim community in the US. I think that is an rather unfair comment. First of all, Jones DOES refer to Islamic sources when appropriate. A shortage of quotes from the Quran and Hadith is NOT a problem in my opinion, but rather the appropriate technique for such a book. There are many books out there full of quotes from the Quran and Hadith on how to be a better Muslim or how to deal with depression, etc. But unfortunately there are very few that present a heartfelt expression of faith and practical ways to survive the inevitable rough spots in our lives.

Jones is not an Islamic scholar. She is just a Muslim who wanted to share her story in the hopes that it would help other sisters going through similar situations by saying that it is OKAY to take a break, to step back from the community. The important thing I took away from her experience is that we have to be careful to evaluate ourselves and our motives to make sure that whatever we do we are doing it for God. If that means we need to take a break from the community, so be it. If it means shrinking our circle of friends, so be it. If it means leaving the dishes in the sink, so be it.

Jones doesn't offer an Islamic prescriptions to a happier life or better relationship with God. Rather, she offers some general practical advice that could apply to anyone but she puts it into the context of Muslim women living in the US.

Rating:
Summary: Refreshing and Thought Provoking
Review: This was one of those books that I just couldn't put down! I read this book around the same time that I read Jeffrey Lang's two books, and I felt this book was easier to read than Dr. Lang's books (although they were good too). Perhaps that is because I could relate to Jones' experience more....

A couple of reviewers mentioned that Jones didn't use Islamic references to back up her material and that she did not give Islamic guidance on how to deal with the issues of alienation and injustice that plague the Muslim community in the US. I think that is an rather unfair comment. First of all, Jones DOES refer to Islamic sources when appropriate. A shortage of quotes from the Quran and Hadith is NOT a problem in my opinion, but rather the appropriate technique for such a book. There are many books out there full of quotes from the Quran and Hadith on how to be a better Muslim or how to deal with depression, etc. But unfortunately there are very few that present a heartfelt expression of faith and practical ways to survive the inevitable rough spots in our lives.

Jones is not an Islamic scholar. She is just a Muslim who wanted to share her story in the hopes that it would help other sisters going through similar situations by saying that it is OKAY to take a break, to step back from the community. The important thing I took away from her experience is that we have to be careful to evaluate ourselves and our motives to make sure that whatever we do we are doing it for God. If that means we need to take a break from the community, so be it. If it means shrinking our circle of friends, so be it. If it means leaving the dishes in the sink, so be it.

Jones doesn't offer an Islamic prescriptions to a happier life or better relationship with God. Rather, she offers some general practical advice that could apply to anyone but she puts it into the context of Muslim women living in the US.