Be the Person You Want to Find: Relationship and Self-Discovery

Rating:
Summary: Excellent, a life changer
Review: Every once in a while we stumble across a book, movie, person, or event that somehow changes our lives. This book had that effect on me. Cheri Huber has written a book in longhand, "to be read with the heart and not the head", and has somehow managed to point out with gentleness and compassion how our conditioning has brought us suffering. I love how this acts as a wake-up call and not a scolding. I love how your eyes get opened, yet you don't get a feeling that you have to run out and "change". I wish this were required reading in schools across the country!

Rating:
Summary: The title says it all!
Review: Hi,

I love Cheri's books. I find them to be WONDERFULLY enlightening, interesting, deep and profound, yet fun and funny. A FANTASTIC way to understand deep Zen teachings and apply them to every day life. The books "There is Nothing Wrong With You" and "Suffering is Optional" especially spoke to me.

I REALLY like the handwritten look text. It is both easy to read, and seems more "fun" somehow than regular book type. Her approach is very conversational and fun, and at times, humorous. She draws me in, and I don't want to stop reading (except to do the exercises).

I previously tried to read some of the Zen classics, by both oriental and western writers, but their writings just seemed to philosophical, too dry, too hard to understand and apply, not to mention too small type to read comfortably. I just happened on Cheri's books at my local bookstore. Once I read one, I was hooked! I've read 5 and counting!

This book is GREAT for solving your undesirable relationship patterns. It really helps one take responsibility for one's own happiness...neither looking to another for happiness or buying into "them" looking to you to "make" them happy.

I also highly recommend "If the Buddha Dated" and "If the Buddha Married".

Thank you Cheri!

Rating:
Summary: Wow
Review: I lent this book out and I am enjoying seeing how it gets passed on. I cannot tell you the impact this book has had on my life. It is so gentle, so wise, so clear. I read it twice straight through and it has definitely had an impact on my marrriage. I find myself thinking of it often.

If you can only have one relationship book, I would get this one. Guess I should buy another copy, don't think i'll be getting my original one back anytime soon!

Rating:
Summary: The title says it all!
Review: Most of the old and familiar Zen resources deal with monastic life or the life of the hermit. Cheri Huber is a contemporary Zen practitioner, student, and guide sharing insights and coming just short of giving advice or instruction; and the information is not "Zen" or "spiritual" as much as it is, simply, sound.

This is an excellent, humorous, and enjoyably readable meditation on modern relationships and how to survive them; some ways in which we fail, and a suggestion of a way not to fail. The suggestion is that, no matter how perfect the person we have found seems to be, they aren't; and neither are we. The passion we are feeling, no matter how wonderful and exhilarating, does not offer us a waiver for understanding our true selves and doing the hard work of being with another person.

And yet, though we may call it "work," it need not be somber or bereft of playfulness and spontaneity.

There are some basic instructions for sitting meditation and beginning an awareness practice, as well as a lot of "right on" observations about the pitfalls (and the hard teachings) of being in relationship. Decorated with Cheri's characteristic doodles and sketches. Highly recommended.

Rating:
Summary: Pointing away from failure
Review: Most of the old and familiar Zen resources deal with monastic life or the life of the hermit. Cheri Huber is a contemporary Zen practitioner, student, and guide sharing insights and coming just short of giving advice or instruction; and the information is not "Zen" or "spiritual" as much as it is, simply, sound.

This is an excellent, humorous, and enjoyably readable meditation on modern relationships and how to survive them; some ways in which we fail, and a suggestion of a way not to fail. The suggestion is that, no matter how perfect the person we have found seems to be, they aren't; and neither are we. The passion we are feeling, no matter how wonderful and exhilarating, does not offer us a waiver for understanding our true selves and doing the hard work of being with another person.

And yet, though we may call it "work," it need not be somber or bereft of playfulness and spontaneity.

There are some basic instructions for sitting meditation and beginning an awareness practice, as well as a lot of "right on" observations about the pitfalls (and the hard teachings) of being in relationship. Decorated with Cheri's characteristic doodles and sketches. Highly recommended.

Rating:
Summary: How to show up in the world!
Review: This book is a wonderful primer for anyone interested in conscious living, conscious relationship and the freedom that comes with personal inquiry. With her focus on awareness and responsibility, Huber offers insights which seem so simple and yet one can ponder over them for hours, days or a lifetime. When I loan a copy to someone, it seldom returns and that's fine with me! This is the kind of work worth sharing with the world.

Rating:
Summary: everyone should be exposed to this book
Review: This book really changed my outlook on life. It spells out specific things that we've all been conditioned to believe since we were young, and how those things are direct causes of unhappiness or suffering. It teaches you stop the cycle of letting the past or the future dictate your decisions in the present and your day-to-day life. The book makes you realize so much more than what I've just written. The revelations in it are truly invaluable. Whether you're religious or not, believe in fate or karma or not, single or not, you need to at least be exposed to what's in this book, and then you can decide if you want to embrace it and make your life easier and happier. It's very easy reading, should take the average person less than 2 hrs to get through.

Rating:
Summary: Simple, not easy
Review: This is an amazing book with a powerful message... for those who are ready for it. This is labled as a "relationship" book however is not about changing anyone but oneself. In this little book, the author attempts to talk the reader out of trying to change others and into giving themselves the love you are seeking from someone else. Want caring, devotion and unconditional love?? Give it to yourself! One of her main "arguements" is that one can not feel anyway in a relationship that they do not feel out of a relationship. For example, if you feel lonely without a mate, once the initial "honeymoon" phase ends, you will again feel lonely, regardless of your mate. You change your perspective, increase your awareness, and then your expirience will change! Simple idea, not easy in practice. BUT definetly possible.

This book is empowering and suggests a mind shift. It gives YOU, the reader, the power to change your life, your reaction to life and, therefor, your feelings. This book is based on zen principle's, primarily that awareness is healing. I believe it to be life and relationship changing, if you allow it to be!!


Rating:
Summary: Excellent, a life changer
Review: Wonderful book to read over and over. Cheri Huber gives examples of conditioning that sound like pages of my life story. The book gives me hope for the future of my relationships. Thanks for writing Cheri!