Back from Betrayal: Saving a Marriage, a Family, a Life

Rating:
Summary: Story of marital infidelity and the hard road to recovery
Review:
The candid and compelling personal autobiographical story of Suzy Farbman, Back From Betrayal: Saving A Marriage, A Family, A Life is the candid story of marital infidelity and the hard road to recovery. After three decades of marriage, Suzy Farbman learned her husband was having an affair; rather than give up hope for her marriage, she elected to fight back and rebuild it. Her story, along with the story of her husband Burton, shows the pain of learning to trust again in plain terms. A compelling testimony about the power of forgiveness and renewed committment.


Rating:
Summary: Subject is interesting; The storytelling, not very.
Review: Although the subject matter is very interestng, the storytelling lacked warmth and real soul revealing information.

I actually thought the afterword by the husband was much more interesting and perhaps more helpful to unfaithful spouses.
I think it boils down to Suzy coming off as being so good, who could believe this is a real person. You know, "My biggest fault is I am too ...faithful, smart, organized" that you would use in an interview to capture a job.



Rating:
Summary: No One "Deserves" to Experience Infidelity in Their Marriage
Review: Coming from a family that has experienced the emotional devastation that results from infidelity, I feel that this book shares honestly and painfully the rage and the hearbreak experienced in a marriage haunted by infidelity. I found it to be a touching and ultimately uplifting story of survival through an unimaginable place some marriages are forced to visit, and from which the vast majority do not return intact. The inspiration in this story stems from this couple's sincere examination of their commitment to their marriage, their courage in not only facing their demons but taking responsibility for them, and their determination to make it through the desert to salvation. I thought this was a brave and honest account of what is one of the most devastating experiences a family can go through.

On another note, to the incredibly vindictive women who would relish anybody's pain or loss, I can only say that if you are very lucky, you will never experience the type of loss experienced by Suzy Farbman. To insinuate that she, or anyone else, deserves to experience something like this in their life demonstrates only that you are vile and heartless. Obviously, you do not like her personally and, quite likely, you are jealous that her marriage survived something which you secretly fear yours would not. Either way, you do little to persuade anyone of anything other than the fact that you are a jealous, miserable person. Kudos to the Farbmans for not caring about what small-minded people like you think, and for writing an honest book that will benefit and inspire many thousands of people who experience the waking nightmare which is infidelity.

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Summary: Thank you Suzy! What a Great Book!
Review: Dear Suzy, I don't know you. But, I loved your book. It felt like a novel, written from the heart of a painful experience. I could not put the book down. I know it will help millions of people, and many of them will be my fellow Flight Attendants and flight crews. Also, Suzy as I read through these reviews --- all of them ---I saw that those who have just read the book for what it was have loved it! But those who had an ax to grind with your personally, like perhaps those who had designs on your husband, or maybe they had more than designs, seem vengeful to the point of hilarity. Suzy you keep writing. You are a wonderful writer. And those of us who know good writing will keep reading. The book had a ring of truth to it that touched my heart and soul and made me want to recommend it to every one of my friends - and to anyone who wants to grow emotionally, spiritually and in their marriage.
Best, Marsha Marks

Rating:
Summary: 1. Incredible Journey 2. Negativity only begets negativity
Review: First off, I would like to say that this book was wonderful. Suzy is an incredibly talented writer, and I hope that her story will aid others who find themselves in similar situations. I think it is amazing that someone would share such a personal aspect of their life with the world. I appreciate Suzy sharing her struggle to help others. Secondly, I would like to say that the negative feedback below seems to have nothing to do with this incredible book, but rather, seems based upon personal bias. I don't appreciate reviews which instead of reviewing the material, they review the person who wrote it. Negativity is a chain reaction, and grows exponentially when given the soapbox to do so. Finishing on a positive note, this is a fantastic, honest, introspective look into healing & love.

Rating:
Summary: Understanding Infidelity
Review: I found Suzy Farbman's book to be beautifully written as well as helpful. I felt as if I could relate somewhat, being a survivor of an unfaithful father who was hardly ever around. I found her thoughts and feelings very true to home. This book has helped me to better understand my own insecurities and issues about infidelity. This is a MUST READ for anyone. It does not only help to understand why infidelity occurs, but it also teaches about self love and self respect. I see Burt & Suzy's love for each other continuing to grow for years to come.

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Summary: Infidelity poison seeps into a soul.
Review: I found this book inspiring hope for new beginnings, and I was impressed by the author's courage to face hard truths about infidelity. It is so easy to think, "What did I do to make this happen? Why aren't I pretty enough, or sexy enough, or smart enough, or whatever?" Suzy Farbman did think those things, but she thought the next things too: how to find her own soul and rebuild her own internal compass. And she did the hard things: she asked internal questions and made changes. That is never easy, and it requires resolute courage and deep honesty.

After reading this book, I was not surprised to have many memories surface from my own failed marriage. Those wounds do not go away, even after they have "healed." What fully surprised me were the sad memories that surfaced from my own family. Seemingly out of nowhere, I remembered family events, colored by my father's charm and flirtatiousness and my mother's polite passivity. There were emotional earthquakes going on under a tasteful fascade.

Burton Farbman's commitment to his marriage is the key to Suzy Farbman's opportunity to have a choice to remain in that marriage. Of course, she could have chosen to leave him from her first awareness of his infidelity. But she didn't. His statement at the end of the book proves that it is possible for some people to wake up and to "get it." He got it. If he had chosen to leave her, she would have written about a different subject -- and it's a familiar one. This newer topic, how to pick up the pieces after your spouses's betrayal and deceipt, is much more difficult and takes far more finesse to achieve. I think she shows enormous courage to face her own demons, and commitment to her side of the marriage. She strives to keep her own soul clear, aware and honest as she faces each day. And she works to keep talking to him, to keep communicating! The path of the Farbmans is much more challenging than the path of divorced couples who part, whether in peace or bitterness, or find revenge in endless little battles.

I see this book as a "recipe" for how to build a new life road, and forgiveness plays the pivotal role in redemption and transformation. It is the message I have to accept for my own life wounds from my father and former husband. Couples all face the challenge of constantly staying in communication. This couple shows us how they do it, and what happened when they didn't communicate. They also remind us, and me, of how fragile and beautiful "commitment" really is, and what it really means in terms of how people live their lives. OK, so marriage is hard work. But in that structure, there can be the privilege to do "soul work" on the deepest level.

Rating:
Summary: consider the source when you read these reviews
Review: I have already written a review but feel compelled to address the negative reviews placed on this site with three readers from the Detroit area (how odd that they're from Detroit where Suzy & Burt are from). It is quite obvious that these folks have some personal pain of their own caused by this story. Just one more indication to me of the pain that is caused and the domino affects of infidelity. It simply isn't worth what pain is left from a few moments of numbing ourselves. And to be honest, that is all an affair is, a numbing agent for the pain one feels about oneself. Like a drink, a pill or another donut. So, for all you girls and guys out there who think they are something special when you try to wiggle yourselves into someones life before they have clearly reconciled their previous relationship, BEWARE!!And for the negative comments towards Suzy and Burt to delve into their inner child, I say to you, "Perhaps you should try this exercise before you judge them. Maybe then you would appear to act more like an adult when you write you next review."

Rating:
Summary: Thank You
Review: I saw the Oprah show on this book and rushed out to purchase it. Read it over in one day. This is the story of a courageous woman (and man) who held onto to hope (faith) and found a way back to each other through self-introspection, generosity of love and spirit, and also patience and endurance. This story is a prime example of a family unit willing to work to remain a team, in the face of great adversity, deceit and lies. I 'm not sure if Suzy reads these reviews but if she does I would like to personally thank you for putting your story out there for us to read and to learn from. It is a real inspiration.
krista

Rating:
Summary: A personal journey
Review: In short, I thought it was terrific! It was a fast and engrossing read. I was moved to tears during several passages. I felt the author's pain!!! Suzy Farbman managed to tell a very honest, human, and I think helpful, story of a marriage in trouble and how the two of them came out the other side. By working on ourselves is the key message I think. If you're not a 100 % to yourself, you can't be 100 % to anyone else. Needs to be said over and over in so many ways.

I admire the author's courage to write this book. I know it couldn't have been easy. I think the writing of this book must have been very healing. It also takes a lot of courage to look at yourself and to tell the world what you see, good and bad.

To Suzy Farbman: I hope all your friends and relatives are giving you all the support you need. But most importantly, you and Burt are giving each other all the support you need. You're the winners here. To hell with what anyone else thinks.

Glad to have read it. It is a worthwhile read.

Best regards from NYC.