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Rating: Summary: Star1 Review: A very mature look at not just dating, but mating. This book can get you to the next step. It's almost military in it's efficiency. The collaborative authors have devised a sort of self-help boot camp, if you will, for men who need to rebuild their lives after bad breakups have torn them down. This book, like Doggiestyle and Master Dating, invites you to take the focus off of others, and instead concentrate on bettering yourself.
Rating: Summary: The Title Does Not Reflect The Contents Review: Although the title of this book is catchy the implication of "trapping" a spouse comes across as a negative. The book really isn't about trapping a spouse and it is indeed a good book. The subtitle is more appropriate "A Street-Smart Dating Strategy for Men Who Have Lost a Love."This book is written by a Board Certified Trial Lawyer from Newport Beach along "with" a Beverly Hills based psychologist who specializes in couples counseling. Being myself recently divorced and having lost a love I found this book to be very realistic in terms of describing what losing a love is like and what the recovery process is like. The chapters are: 1.) Coping with Loss 2.) How Life Goes On 3.) Getting Serious about a Relationship 4.) Into the Future I found each of the chapters to be intelligent, realistic and honest. I felt that the author really has felt what I am feeling and has a pretty cutting edge approach to his understanding and to his perspective on solutions. He is frank about depression, about not being able to get out of bed etc. The guts of the book are about forming a dating strategy to find your next spouse. The apporach is very structured, precise and well defined. Although that type of approach may have appeal to a limited number of personality types I found the chapters on Coping and How Life Goes On to be worth the price of the book. In a nutshell this is the only book I've found that is sort of like having a 40 or 50 year old uncle or father give you very accurate, useful, practical advice on the most intelligent way to find a spouse and not screw up your life and end up in divorce.
Rating: Summary: A Male Therapist reviews Review: As a man and as a Marriage and Family therapist I feel "Build a Better Spouse Trap" is an important book. To me there are two underlying themes that Mr. Wentworth is conveying to the men he talks to so clearly. First, Think! My office is full of men who didn't think. They reacted. They are now in trouble, and they are sorry. The second important point the author makes is to encourage the reader to Feel! Or better yet, identify feelings that are already there. Too many men make serious relationship mistakes because they don't know how to feel the feelings they already have. The author makes this point well when he encourages men to "stop living on automatic." The result of following the advice in the book is to make the relationship process conscious. He says we should actually become conscious in the process of finding our life partner. Finally, encouraging men to find a good therapist is great advice. I find that with a straightforward approach that is cognitive and logical, men make great progress in therapy and they really enjoy the process. Beyond that, they learn about themselves, what makes women tick, and in doing so gain enormous confidence. The book is honest, fun to read, and practical. But the phrase from the subtitle "Street Smart" says it all. The book hands you exactly what you need to have on those dark nights as you are forcing yourself to get out of the car and nervously walk up to her door. One is tempted to take the book along and feverishly flip through the pages for the right advice when she is in the lady's room. It doesn't get any more real than "Build a Better Spouse Trap." I think "Build a Better Spouse Trap" in a shot in the arm to those of us who otherwise would be lost and depressed hoping the random forces of the universe will finally make us happy.
Rating: Summary: Practical advice for men who are interested in loving again Review: Every patient and male friend, to whom I have recommended this book, has found great straightforward advice that tells it like it is. Wentworth doesn't waste a reader's time with fluff and explanations, he gets right to the point of how to get over the loss of love and work a practical plan to bring real connection and relationship back into one's life. He points out the pitfalls that many men fall into in new relationships. He talks directly about psychological "landmines" of character-disordered women (i.e. beautiful borderlines) and how to fight fair, break up respectfully and when and when not to use the Internet for dating. He uses humor and refers to a great many resources for further research, if readers want to know more about any topic. The women I have recommended this book to have also truly enjoyed the practical and easy-to-understand suggestions. It seems both men and women are tired of groping blindly in the dark and just hoping that love will find them. Taking a proactive approach is far more appealing. This is a great gift for any man you care about who is really interested in finding a healthy relationship!
Rating: Summary: Excellent Tips on Finding REAL Love--For Anyone Review: Having read "Spouse Trap" out of interest in how men think, I can say this is one excellent book for anyone, male or female, interested in REAL LOVE. No psychobabble here, rather real hands-on tips based on personal experience. The author's sincere and helpful stand that one has to do the work on one's self first is unique from most other books on finding love. Wonderful insights on grieving and getting on, good step by step procedures for personal evaluation on what one really wants in love. Highly recommended by this reader.
Rating: Summary: Real Answers to Difficult Men's Issues About Love. Review: Here's a book that a truly sincere and mature man can appreciate. While there are so many books written for women about love, there are very few good ones directed toward men. This one, however, is one of those gems. What's great about this book is that it is very male, bottom-line friendly and therefore, speaks the language of its intended audience. As a relationship author myself, I found this book a great help (and confirmation) in understanding what are the most key issues about men, women, and love. Some of the things that I thought were very useful include: * "The Five Stages of Grief" and particularly the last stage called "acceptance." This is one that I overlooked in my life and is one of the most valuable to me personally. * "Inventing the New You" which is about moving forward by learning and growing. The author selects some great books and tapes to help in the recovery phase. I found that most people underrate the value of audio programs, but it is the live audio program format that first got me interested in attending seminars and lectures which I feel have the greatest impact for creating lasting personal change. * "The Psychological Land Mines" which includes a look at what could be early signs of potentially damaging relationships. I found this to be the most informative part of the book. I could go on and on about the different features of the book, but the bottom line is that there is something for every man in this book. For me personally, I think that I respect the author for his personal journey and his willingness to share his brilliant interpretation of how to intelligently go about creating a new love relationship the second time around. Here's a man who has felt the ultimate pain of a love one's death and has turned his life around to enjoy and contribute to another relationship in what seems like a relatively short time. When you read this book, you'll come to appreciate that it comes straight from the heart. There is nothing self-serving about Spouse Trap. For men wanting straight talk about finding love and intimacy, here's a great book for you.
Rating: Summary: Great practical advice Review: Since the advent of the classic self-esteem and self-help books of the 60's and 70's, I haven't read any practical psychology books for decades, my interest being more in the neurobiological side of psychology. But this book's title caught my eye, and I ended up reading much of it the bookstore to get an idea of what it was about. The purpose of the book is two-fold. The first is to help men who are recovering from the loss of a spouse or partner, whether through death or divorce, and to get them through the grief and the loss so that they can go on with the rest of their lives. This is important since one must have dealt effectively with these problems before finding a new relationship, otherwise the emotional hurt and baggage from the old one may be carried over to the new one, with unfortunate consequences for the new partner and relationship. The second goal of the book is to give men useful, practical advice on how to navigate the difficult and often treacherous waters of the modern dating game, and ultimately on how to find a new partner. The book is full of useful tips, advice, and techniques covering the entire dating and relationship field that should be invaluable to the man in search of a partner--whether you are recovering from the loss of an old partner--or looking for a first one. Another thing I liked was the section where the authors discuss several other books that also deal with relationship issues, especially from the woman's point of view, and that should be useful to the hopeful spouse-hunter. I also looked at one of these, entitled Getting to I Do, by Patricia Allen and Sandra Harmon. This book discusses many of the same topics as the present book, only it's written, as I mentioned, from the woman's point of view. If you want to understand better what women want and how they deal with various aspects of the relationship process, and especially the dating game, this is also a good book for getting you to see the woman's side of things. I found both books full of practical and useful advice for both men and women looking for help with the difficult process of dating and ultimately finding that special person and/or relationship.
Rating: Summary: Highly recommend! Review: Straight talk about dating, mating and relating! This book is an excellent guide in learning how to bounce back from a painful loss and begin living again.
Rating: Summary: Not Your Everyday Book on Dating Review: This unusual, very helpful book is by a no-nonsense guy who presents straightforward talk about the real issues of dating and relationship. I find that his combination of practicality and personal experience is savvy, down-to-earth, and useful. "Useful" is the operative word here. I think of the chapters on reinventing yourself after the loss of a mate, strategies for finding and nurturing a new relationship, identifying women who may be emotional time-bombs, and being realistic about STDs. These -- along with subjects like meeting on the Internet, knowing when you're really serious, confronting money issues, fighting, and even breaking up (if things come to that) -- make this a great overall book on relationships. But I think its most notable accomplishment may be this apparent impossibility: it offers, in effect, a basic, practical course for men on romance. How rare is that? "Build a Better Spouse Trap" says it's for men who have lost a wife to death or divorce, but it also turns out to be one terrific guide to creating a successful relationship, full of practical understanding for both men and women, whatever their circumstances may be.
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