A Daring Promise: A Spirituality of Christian Marriage

Rating:
Summary: Clear, concise, and on target
Review: A common understanding of salvation centers around "getting to heaven," which is achieved by holding the correct beliefs and attending the right church. If this is your primary understanding of salvation, this book may be troublesome for you. Gaillardetz's thesis is that for married couples, our marriage is the setting where, and the means by which, many of us "work out" our salvation.

This book made a lot of sense to me, both practically and theologically. RG does a great job of combining teachings from the Christian tradition and modern psychology. A crucial insight from the latter is that we subconsiously choose to marry people who force us to revisit our childhood wounds; the recurring conflicts you have with a spouse are opportunities to address those wounds (and thus work out your salvation). Unfortunately, when couples face recurring marital problems, they often think that maybe they didn't marry "the one" they were destined to marry. Gaillardetz dispells this false notion as well.

Gaillardetz has served on the Catholic delegation in the Methodist-Catholic dialogues, and his writing reflects his ecumenical sensitivity. As a Methodist myself (married to a Catholic), I very much appreciate his tone. It is a pleasant change from those Catholic authors who write with what I call the "fullness of truth" attitude.

I also appreciate the author's sensitivity to those who are unable or choose not to have children.

Overall, I highly recommend this book to Christians (Catholics and non-Catholics alike) who seek a practical framework for making sense of Christian marriage.

Rating:
Summary: Starts off good, but goes downhill fast
Review: I have just finished reading A Daring Promise and agree with Gaillardetz that marriage, when taken seriously, is not an easy vocation to embrace. When my husband and I married over 31 years ago we thought we were mature and entering this state with our eyes wide open. We were mature - for our age - but that didn't mean we wouldn't have a lot of growing and forgiving to do as we evolved into a more deeply loving couple. As the Engaged Encounter movement puts it, "A wedding is a day, a marriage is a lifetime."
I liked the way the author demythologizes common romantic images of marriage and helps couples see that true love involves more than good feelings. The honest sharing of Gaillardetz own marriage gave me hope. If a theologian and happily married husband has felt discouragement and annoyance at his spouse, then it is not so surprising that the rest of us experience these emotions also. None of us fully appreciates the challenges that will be thrust upon us when we say the marriage vows. We make them out of foolishness and love. The challenge then is to live up to them. Gaillardetz helps us see this in a holy but non-pietistic way. Thanks for a seminal work.

Rating:
Summary: Solid Theology rooted Deeply in Experience
Review: I used this book as one text for an undergraduate Christian Marriage class. Students found the book to be readable and insightful. The author excels at weaving together his experiences as a father and husband with theological insights that are exceptionally sophisticated for books of this genre. His use of the paschal mystery as central to the vocation of married life is both original and particularly effective.

I must disagree with those who say that G is unfaithful to the magisterial teaching on contraception. On the contrary, he presents the official teaching accurately and sympathetically. At the same time he is candid about the difficulty of adhering strictly to the discipline of natural family planning, but cautions readers against ignoring the discipline simply because it isn't easy.

My only disappointment with the book lies in the fact that the discussion questions posed are geared exclusively to married people. A broader base of questions would have been more helpful. Otherwise, this is an excellent, sophisticated book for use in undergraduate theology courses on marriage.

Rating:
Summary: Solid Theology rooted Deeply in Experience
Review: I used this book as one text for an undergraduate Christian Marriage class. Students found the book to be readable and insightful. The author excels at weaving together his experiences as a father and husband with theological insights that are exceptionally sophisticated for books of this genre. His use of the paschal mystery as central to the vocation of married life is both original and particularly effective.

I must disagree with those who say that G is unfaithful to the magisterial teaching on contraception. On the contrary, he presents the official teaching accurately and sympathetically. At the same time he is candid about the difficulty of adhering strictly to the discipline of natural family planning, but cautions readers against ignoring the discipline simply because it isn't easy.

My only disappointment with the book lies in the fact that the discussion questions posed are geared exclusively to married people. A broader base of questions would have been more helpful. Otherwise, this is an excellent, sophisticated book for use in undergraduate theology courses on marriage.

Rating:
Summary: Starts off good, but goes downhill fast
Review: I was pleasantly surprised when reading the first few pages of the book, then the author made the comment that Jesus was probably not married, and the fact that he was probably not married did not appear to be a religious statement. It was downhill from there.

Not all of the book is bad, but the irreverance to the history and wisdom of the Catholic Church's teachings makes it a poor choice for Catholics (IMHO).

The other two points I will mention are as follows:
- He comments on how he ran into a former classmate who was brillant in college and now she was married with kids and he couldn't help but feel sorry that she "sold out" and stopped using her God given mind. (to paraphrase) When my wife read this, she was appalled. My wife has a Masters in Education, 5 kids and stays home to raise them.
- The other item was his flawed view of conscience. When talking about the Catholic Church's teaching on contraception, he does a decent job of explaining why the Church teaches against it, but in almost the last sentence about the subject he says that if you still don't buy it and your conscience tells you the teaching against contraception is not for you, then you must follow your conscience and dissent from the Church's authoritative teachings. He should reread the Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 1792:

CCC 1792 Ignorance of Christ and his Gospel, bad example given by others, enslavement to one's passions, assertion of a mistaken notion of autonomy of conscience, rejection of the Church's authority and her teaching, lack of conversion and of charity: these can be at the source of errors of judgment in moral conduct.

I really wish the book was better, but it is not.

Rating:
Summary: Disappointing
Review: This is a thoroughly contemporary vision of Catholic marriage...yet combines the riches of tradition. Gaillardetz is a well-known ecclesiologist and a father of four. In Daring Promises he combines both vocations to give a wonderful vision of Christian marriage. The book comes alive with stories and experiences from the author's life. A rich and important addition to anyone looking for a spirituality of marriage. It can also be used for a workshop tool, since each chapter is followed by reflection questions.