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Rating: 
Summary: READ THIS BOOK, it gives helpful advice!
Review: A friend, who is the former wife of an abusive man (who eventually killed himself after trying to kill her), says:"This book is boldly written to express the pain of an abusive man who changed his life by coming to grips with the anguish which caused his destructive behavior. "The book is well-written, and arranged in an amazinly-helpful format. "It's not very long but contains what you need to know to get help for yourself, if you are an angry man, or to understand or offer counseling to an angry man who is driven by the wounds of his past. "It also defines the emotional truama that the woman goes through in a relationship with such a man, and offers advice to such women. It identifies what abuse is, and that it can be found in all levels of society. "A MUST READ FOR MEN AND WOMEN living in the cycle of abuse. ....
Rating: 
Summary: Psychobabble Soap Box
Review: I would give this book less than 1 star if I could. This inflammatory tome is poorly written - both in structure and in content. If one were to seriously accept Dr. Hegstrom's assertions (if you could understand what he is even writing about), one would come to the conclusion that all people in all relationships are either committing domestic violence or are victims of it. He bases much of his information on outdated theories, exaggerated statistics, and radical feminist propaganda. I became weary of the phrase 'arrested development' as a one-size-fits-all excuse as to why people behave the way they do. He defined domestic violence so broadly that even a non-violent, non-angry, quiet, stable man would find himself lumped in the same category with murderers. This dillution of the meaning of violence does a disservice to all of the men, women, and children who have been terrorized, hospitalized and outright killed by abusers and is also indicting to a large group of men who are 'not in touch with their feminine side.' After reading this book, even if you have a healthy relationship with your husband, you may come away thinking you've been abused. If your husband has ever yelled at you, looked at you wrong, has a "traditional" view of male and female gender roles, or hasn't "bonded with you emotionally" (whatever that means), then you have been abused. This book is another man bad, woman good diatribe. Another thing that bothers me about this book is the lack of resources that a person is directed to if they are in a very bad situation. In the back of the book, his organization is listed, but the Center for Domestic Violence is not (nor any other organization that helps victims). It's like writing a book about suicide and not once giving the reader the Suicide Hotline phone number. I would not bother reading this book. It is a waste of trees.
Rating:
Summary: Paul Hegstrom provides priceless insight...
Review: Implement! Do it! Half of my counseling career dealt with violent, angry men, incarcerated for life because they totally lost it... and now regret it. "If only someone had stopped me before I did her in." This statement said over and over even when some went in for counseling sessions yet departed because they did not want the "counsel." That meant dramatic change and they loved their power position so much their "security blanket" was not about to be given up.
Hegstrom's book skillfully presents these insights with all the "on the scene" drama [routinely seen by deputies] as you cannot help but empathize along with all the hurt, pain, and grief experienced by the two parties tied together in these agonizing episodes. Nonetheless, if the solution is only pondered and never applied, they spin their wheels agonizing forever. Read and heed his counsel!
For those couples who will read, I can give them a copy of this book. It is that helpful.
Rating:
Summary: compassionate, accurate information
Review: This book changed my life. It was the inspiration for my husband and I to seek counseling for domestic violence. Paul speaks directly to those in need. His insight is profound and true. His work is ground breaking. This book explains the true root of painful behavior and offers realistic strategies to overcome and heal from emotional traumas. Read it and save your life.
Rating:
Summary: This is a good one - especially for Christians
Review: This book doesn't do the "submissive" drivel - it empowers women and holds men accountable. I do believe that wives should listen to their husbands - and vice versa. I believe we have a responsibility to trust our husbands WHEN THEY EARN IT. But too many abusive men use religion as a club to verbally beat up their wives. This book addresses that facet very VERY well. It also lays the cold, hard facts on the table, exposes the secret wickedness and pain of verbal and emotional abuse and deals with it. The author is a former wife beater who turned his life around. He was a PASTOR - and a wife beater. This book is powerful - because it is so honest and presents his wife's side, as well. If you're looking for a scholarly tome, this is not the book. But if you want a book that is interesting, readable, understandable and practical - AND - conveys its message with an undercurrent of Christian love, this is the book for you. I'm sorry to see the negative reviews here. I found this book compelling. While reading it, I ignored the phone, the door bell and the barking dog. I've been in a verbally abusive relationship for years and our home life is now changing, thanks to "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Evans and "Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them." This is a powerful pair of books and I highly recommend both of them.
Rating:
Summary: READ THIS BOOK, it gives helpful advice!
Review: When we feel trapped in an abusive home / marriage, we feel afraid, isolated, and scared of knowledge. Knowledge calls us to take well thought out action and to make choices. This book shares the knowledge that both women and men need to break the cycle of abuse in the home. Mr Hegstrom provides priceless insight as to why we behave the way we do, how to change, how to build a proper emotional and physical bond as well as information on where to get help. If you read this book and are encouraged to grow, I recommend finding a Life Skills support group or another program so that you can begin your journey to a healthier lifestyle. This book is an important tool for married and single individuals both. I facilitate Life Skills groups and many women have shared with me that they wish they had received this pain preventative information before they were married. No matter where you are in life, there is hope and you CAN feel peace and joy again. I highly recommend this book and the Life Skills Program.
Rating:
Summary: Mr Hegstrom provides priceless insight...
Review: When we feel trapped in an abusive home / marriage, we feel afraid, isolated, and scared of knowledge. Knowledge calls us to take well thought out action and to make choices. This book shares the knowledge that both women and men need to break the cycle of abuse in the home. Mr Hegstrom provides priceless insight as to why we behave the way we do, how to change, how to build a proper emotional and physical bond as well as information on where to get help. If you read this book and are encouraged to grow, I recommend finding a Life Skills support group or another program so that you can begin your journey to a healthier lifestyle. This book is an important tool for married and single individuals both. I facilitate Life Skills groups and many women have shared with me that they wish they had received this pain preventative information before they were married. No matter where you are in life, there is hope and you CAN feel peace and joy again. I highly recommend this book and the Life Skills Program.
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