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Summary: A new perspective is often a better perspective
Review: I guess most people who pick up this book will have some aspect of their lives that is falling apart at the time. I certainly did. The title really is very captivating. In fact it was so captivating for me that I didn't realise this book espoused Buddhist philosophy until I actually started reading it. In some ways I have never been comfortable with comforting texts, but I have always tried to keep an open mind about other people's cultures and traditions. Pema Chodron walks a fine line of encouraging and stimulating, for me anyway. But the book is by no means comforting with its messages of living with hopelessness, letting things go, refraining from doing things and so on. My perspective changed in many ways as I read - perhaps not fixedly, but nevertheless I greatly value the shifts that occurred and their impact will not disappear even if I continue much as I have in the past.And, as I read, I realised that the past is the problem with its regrets but so is the future with its urges for satisfaction. The only real problem with the present is that it last for such a short time!
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Summary: An Emergency Kit When Your World Turns Upside Down
Review: What do you do when your world falls apart? Where do you turn first? What do you do in those first horrible moments when your universe turns upside down? Pema Chodron tells it like it is and simultaneously begins the healing process. (Alas, not "instantly," but with practice.) This isn't fun and games. Although her words are practical, comforting, supportive and helpful, she doesn't sugar-coat the harsh realities of threatening and painful situations. In short, this book/cassette/CD is an Emergency Kit when life smacks you in the face.
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Summary: A Magnificent Gift
Review: If I had read this book six months ago, it would not have had the same impact. A recent crisis provided the opportunity to embrace Pema's voice. In our culture, we tend to focus on our own pain and issues. Tonglen, on the other hand, encourages using life's challenges as a way to spread kindness and compassion.
Admittedly, the initial concepts appeared bizarre to me. "Make friends with your demons" and "Chaos should be regarded as extremely good news" came across as masochistic. But when one has hit rock bottom, we tend to discover our humility, which allows us to be more open to new ideas. When I read the phrase "Things become very clear when there is nowhere to escape," I found myself nodding in agreement. From that point on, I embraced each line-word for word. The best gift one can give to themselves or others is a copy of "When Things Fall Apart." It is indeed a book that I found much hope and comfort in. I just ordered Pema's book collection and look forward to learning more about practicing tonglen from her. Some of my other favorite passages from the book: "...nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. If we run a hundred miles an hour to the other end of the continent in order to get away from the obstacle, we find the very same problem waiting for us when we arrive. It just keeps returning with new names, forms, and manifestations..." "As long as we don't want to be honest and kind with ourselves, then we are always going to be infants. When we begin just to try to accept ourselves, the ancient burden of self-importance lightens up considerably. Finally there's room for genuine inquisitiveness, and we find we have an appetite for what's out there." "...the person we set out to help may trigger unresolved issues in us. Even though we want to help, and maybe we do help for a few days or a month or two, sooner or later someone walks through that door and pushes all our buttons. We find ourselves hating those people or scared of them or feeling like we just can't handle them. This is true always, if we are sincere about wanting to benefit others. Sooner or later, all our own unresolved issues will come up; we'll be confronted with ourselves."
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Summary: This is just mind blowing !
Review: I haven't read anything like this before in this particular category. This lady Pema is a spiritual genius. I felt instant and even long term healing of the wounds and even notions I had about life. She is a veteran in this field and her years of experience through meditation has been evident here. This is not meant for people who is reading it casually or just for pleasure. This book is written for people who is currently or have had faced the deepest emotional turmoil.
I am still speechless about the author's wisdom and how much of a relief it brings to readers.
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Summary: Advice is not very useful
Review: This book caught my attention in a bookstore at a time when I was going through a lot of stress due to things "falling apart" in my life. Basically, I was in a situation where just nothing seemed to be going right. I bought this book and started reading it. It gets very quickly into the teachings of buddhism. The primary message that I got from the book was that of "letting go". Yes, this is one way of dealing with things when they get overwhelming. But there are other, far better ways, I think. This book is a valuable read for understanding buddhist philosophy. But, if you're looking for inspiration during trying times in your life, you'll have to look elsewhere--and there are plenty of such inspirational books. A good example of such a book is "Many Lives, Many Masters" by Brian Weiss. When one is going through difficult times, I don't think one should just give up and stop trying. But that is the recommendation of this book. Instead, I think one can change one's thoughts and one's expectations. But one should not stop making an effort altogether and just "let go" completely. The book's title is misleading; it won't really help someone whose life is falling apart. I know for sure that it didn't help me.
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Summary: Amazing Book
Review: This book is amazing. I have also read her book "The Places that Scare You", but I liked this book more. I read it during a tumultuous time in my life and found it very inspiring. What I liked the most about this book was Pema's recognition that going through difficult times IS an unpleasant experience, and even for people that have been doing this for years, following these philosophies can be a constant work-in-process. This was reassuring. The ideas she discusses, such as acknowledging the pain instead of distracting yourself, are certainly different than what we learn in our "quick-fix" Western culture. I highly recommend this book to anyone that is going through a difficult time in their life--even if you don't follow or agree with her ideas, it's still worth reading.
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Summary: saved me
Review: This book has saved me through many a crisis. My first copy went to a friend and I saw it the other day taped up and battered. It brings a sense of peace to our confusing Western lives.
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Summary: Some interesting perspectives
Review: Pema Chodron's "When Things Fall Apart" is an exploration of loss from a Buddhist perspective. Like many spiritual ideals, the advice is easy to grasp, harder to follow. Can a pleasure addicted society learn to embrace the pain that is inevitable in life, and connect with the pain of others? Would we want to? I'm not sure, but her advice is worth considering. The chapters begin with a excerpt of the central idea of that passage, then a further exposition follows. If you are new to Buddhism, some of the terms will be unfamiliar, but not difficult to understand. I am somewhat new to Buddhism, but many of the ideas have a familar ring to them. The meditation practice of tonglen, for instance, is reminicent of the Christian concept of turning the other cheek. I'm not sure if I'll read Chodron's other books, but this one was worth the time.
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Summary: Muddled message. Look elsewhere.
Review: Muddled message. A few items of great interest, but those items are basic tenets of many belief systems and are given little new life here. Many rehashings of the same ideas. Would make a very nice 10 page book. Even then, there are better sources, regardless of what it is you may be looking for.
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Summary: a book to find meaning in perilous times
Review: I was just finishing this book in September 2001 when the events of 9-11 turned the world upside down, and things truly fell apart. There suddenly were all the vulnerable feelings that Pema Chödrön encourages us to embrace: fear, sorrow, loneliness, groundlessness. And in the days of shock and grief that followed, there was that brief and abundant display of "maitri," or loving kindness, which emerged in waves of generosity and compassion for one another. For a while, we were in the world that she points to as an alternative to the everyday routine of getting, spending, and constant activity. It is nearly impossible to summarize or characterize this fine book. In some 150 pages it covers more than a person could hope to absorb in many years, if not a lifetime. We may know the Buddha's famous insight that human pain and suffering result from desire and aversion. But few writers have been able to articulate as well as Chödrön the implications of that insight in ways that make sense to the Western mind. As just one example from this book, her discussion of the "six kinds of loneliness" (chap. 9) illustrates how our desires to achieve intimacy with others are an attempt to run away from a deep experience of ourselves. Our continuing efforts to establish security for ourselves are a denial of fundamental truths, which prevents our deeply experience of the joy of living. Our reluctance to love ourselves and others shrivels our hearts. Chödrön invites us to be fascinated, as she is, by paradox. On hopelessness and death (chap. 7) she writes: "If we're willing to give up hope that insecurity and pain can be exterminated, then we can have the courage to relax with the groundlessness of our situation. This is the first step on the path." She gets us to acknowledge our restlessness (even our spiritual restlessness) for what it is, something we do instead of simply paying attention to ourselves in the moment and to what happens next, without judgment or preconceptions. In addition to this book, I recommend acquiring one or more of her audio tapes and hearing her voice as she speaks before audiences. For all the high-mindedness that may come across in descriptions like the one above, or what you might take away by reading the cover of her book, Chödrön is down to earth and unpretentious, speaking in her American accent (don't let the appearance of her name fool you) and with a self-effacing sense of humor. Her message is in her manner, as much as it is in what she says. This is a book to buy and read, and reread at intervals, for it is always new, always speaking to you exactly where you are, right now.
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