Rating: 
Summary: All things work for the good...
Review: Thank God, and Laurie Hall - not just for freeing me from this hell on earth of constantly being "gaslighted" by the invisible evil my husband brought into our lives, but for freeing me from the pious Christian "fear" of the Father. For debunking the myth that "forgiveness" means helping your husband through the gates of eternal damnation. Pious, phony "forgiveness," offered by the offended to the offender just to be sure that God approves of us, is the worst kind of cowardice: It allows the sinner to continue the very thing which will destroy his soul. It takes a true believer to hold another truly accountable for his actions, especially when the pornographer happens to be the head of the household, in possession of the paycheck. The victims of this "victimless crime", my two children and I, have learned the true meaning of reliance on, and faith in, the Almighty.As He promised, all things work together for the good, for those who believe. Mrs. Hall, your pain, and the pain of your babies, saved another wounded, shattered wife and her children from turning on the Father when our lives exploded in our faces. We are closer to God now than ever before, and your book led us there. Where the road is leading the three of us remains to be seen; however, your road led you to hold a candle at the end of a dark, frightening tunnel, leading broken women and their disillusioned children to a place of comfort and safety: The Lap of the Father. God's richest blessings upon you and yours, Laurie. I'm off to bake some chocolate chip cookies. My kids' favorite.
Rating:
Summary: It's now almost two years later...
Review: I read the review from the person who thought there were no practical guidelines in this book for dealing with the addict. I understand that feeling, and the pain of that hopelessness. But there is a wealth of information in the pages of this book, and a clear blueprint of the process of surviving the impact of porno in your own life. I think I had to read it three times before I accepted what Ms. Hall was saying: This is a battle for the soul of the guy you married - not a fight against *him*, but against the *evil* that's gotten its tentacles into him. And the battle is terrifying, because you have to willingly go into a freefall of faith in God. You have to seperate yourself from the evil, set your parameters, and let The Father go to work. And in my own situation, it *worked*. My marriage was completely dead, my family was destroyed, and we were all the way to divorce court before the evil broke. The journey was wonderful and horrible, exhausting and exhilerating; but, in learning how to truly love - and fight for - my family, God revealed His power in ways that even I, witnessing the events as they unfolded, have trouble comprehending. Miracle after miracle arrived, while I stood by obediently and watched, as the power of loving someone until I ached from the agony resulted in a man who has been broken, cleaned out, and made whole. We are together now, my family is reunited and, for the first time, genuine. There are echoes of the past, and though we are vigilant against evil, it's still tough at times. But so far, so good. So miraculous, actually. Don't discard the wisdom in this book until you've read it a few times, because her advice can feel brutal. But she also gives the recipe for *truly* loving your husband, and saving yourself and your children at the same time. I also cannot recommend strongly enough the book "Bold Love," by Dan Allender. The two should be read together. Love is not about being nice, passively forgiving everything. And loving someone who has lied to you, betrayed you, cheated on you, destroyed your trust in all good things, and has done his level best to hate you - which is what porno is designed to do to the family - feels like the ultimate injustice. But if you can bring yourself to do it anyway, you'll come to understand the love of Jesus Christ in ways you never expected - because you'll be living as He lived.
My first review was 8/24/2000. I was furious, agonizing, and hopeless. A new Christian, I might have walked away from it all and found a new guy - like so many women do - if not for this book getting ahold of me. I hope the person who sees no help in its pages will read it a few more times. If only for her own sake.
Rating: 
Summary: didn't help
Review: My parents have this book...it didn't help them. They are divorced now. Thanks for nothing.
Rating:
Summary: A great help when I was looking for it.
Review: I had started digging my own grave by "wondering" what was on the other side. Sex with my husband was getting to be routine, I wanted to get more excitement. I am the one that openned the "door". I read books, saw images, and always wanted more. I knew it was wrong, but the "pleasure" I was getting seemed to overcome my guilt. I didn't really want to stop, but from deep down inside of me I knew I had to ask God to help me. I was just getting over my "curiousity" when I found out my husband was viewing pornographic material and having conversations on the Internet. I was speechless. I didn't want our marriage to go in that direction, and looked everywhere for help (with a christian perspective). I read this book, and am so happy that I did. Thankyou Laurie for sharing your pain. My husband and I don't want to ever go back that path again. This book helped me understand how subtley we can be drawn to pornography, and it's effects if we don't run away from it. Fortunately we turned back before any real damage was done to our marriage. We now have that communication we should never had let go of in the first place. Prayer really works.
Rating:
Summary: healing a broken heart
Review: I purchased this book almost two years ago when the issue of sexual addiction reared it's very ugly head in my new marriage. I believe that only God can deal with the core issues of this problem in the addicted and the enabler. Therefore, I found Laurie's book to be of great help to me in understanding the depth of the addiction in my husband and the ability to bring about forgiveness in me. There is hope for marriages and Laurie addresses this in great detail. I need hope right now and am reading it for the third time and seeking professional help. I would like Laurie to update us though!
Rating:
Summary: A lifeline to healing
Review: From the extraodinary comments from other reviewers of this book, its easy to see the value of Laurie Hall's words. Unless you have walked through the devastation of this kind of long-term infidelity in your marriage, you won't get it. If you enjoy pornography as a part of your own life, you won't get it. For those who do get it, this book is a lifeline. Her words are dynamic, vivid descriptions of the emotional wreckage left from discovering sexual addiction's stranglehold on men and the erosion of the marriage relationship. Laurie tracks her emotional and spiritual journey through this hell with stunning honesty. In the midst of my own walk through hell last year, she described EXACTLY where I was in my pain. Other women I know who are going through the same situation say the same thing. We read and re-read her words, and find sanity. The best part in this book is the author's struggle in finding a place in God through the pain. He IS the way through this, and by following in another's footsteps, we can do it, too. She lights the path that would be hard to follow in darkness, and ultimately finds her Redeemer as her hope. I pray that others reading this book will find the same.
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Summary: We spouses are not alone...
Review: I have been married to a pornography addict for nearly 28 years. His addiction has destroyed our marital relationship. Although my husband, to my knowledge, has never sought out prostitutes or affairs, Laurie Hall's book touched on every single emotion I have ever had regarding his addiction. It was so nice to know I was not alone. I noticed one reviewer said that this book would only be useful to someone who obviously hadn't been there, but what I found was that it encouraged me to journalize my own feelings as I was reading. This is not a happy book if you are only looking at the addiction aspect - neither is the addiction! But it's a very helpful book for someone who is ready to face the problem down, and start living in a much more productive, peaceful, and Christian way. Ms. Hall writes from the heart and doesn't pull any punches.
Rating:
Summary: Author bares her soul
Review: This was one brave women to open up her painful marraige to give insight to the unknowing and a sense of I am not alone to others who are dealing with it up close and personal. She talks about feelings of craziness, the trite advice from fellow christians, and exposes the fears and well grounded fears of going public for help. Who would have ever believed her publically wonderful husband could do the things involved with sexual addiction!
Rating: 
Summary: A good step for understanding
Review: I struggled with pornography for several years before and after I was married. This book provided a better understanding of the chains that I was in and gave my wife a perspective on what I was struggling with. It also gave me a small perspective of what she (my wife) was dealing with. That said, I think this book helped me to understand my chains, but did very little to help me be free from them. Setting Captives Free: Pure Freedom finally helped me to allow Christ to set me free fully and completely. The two books are excellent companion pieces, though. Affair of the Mind did help with understanding and opening a dialog between my wife and I, but it is only a step and not the final answer.
Rating:
Summary: This book took my emotions downhill fast!
Review: Why would anyone say this is a helpful book? If it is helpful it is because you have NOT been through the devastation of pornography in your life. My emotions went on a downward spiral which is NOT what I needed. There were no helpful hints on how to get out of it; it only pushed me downward. The only people I can see that might be helped out by this book is the addict. If a spouse is trying to work through the pain [...] of pornography in their life---this book is NOT the one to read. I was so hurt, broken by reading about all the specifics. [....] I cannot recommend this book.
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