The Holy Bible Containing the Old and New Testaments: King James Version, Black Imitation Leather

Rating:
Summary: The anvil
Review: Let critical critics criticize. Voltaire predicted that the Bible would be rendered completely obsolete in his lifetime; less than one century later, Voltaire's house had been converted into a makeshift printing-room for Bibles, and his own writings were being sold for pennies.

"Infidels of eighteen hundred years have been refuting and overthrowing this book, and yet it stands today as solid rock. Its circulation increases, and it is more loved and cherished and read today than ever before. Infidels, with all their assaults, make about as much impression on this book as a man with a tack hammer would on the Pyramids of Egypt.

"When the French monarch proposed the persecution of Christians in his dominion, an old statesman and warrior said to him, 'Sire, the church of God is an anvil that has worn out many hammers.' So the hammers of infidels have been pecking away at this book for ages, but the hammers are worn out, and the anvil still endures. If this book had not been the book of God, men would have destroyed it long ago. Emperors and popes, kings and priests, princes and rulers have all tried their hand at it; they die and the book still lives."

"No other book has been so chopped, knived, sifted, scrutinized, and vilified. What book on philosophy or religion or psychology or belles lettres of classical or modern times has been subject to such a mass attack as the Bible? With such venom and skepticism? With such thoroughness and erudition? Upon every chapter, line and tenet? The Bible is still loved by millions, and studied by millions."

-H.L. Hastings

Rating:
Summary: Booooring
Review: A poor read for poor people. The 'Good Book' strings together a clumsy strand of second-hand, third-rate myths, metaphors and miracles, yet has the audacity to couch its claims to truth in these self-same, credulity-bending contrivances.

Plus, the protagonist has a beard and long hair. I hate hippies.


Rating:
Summary: These stories suck.
Review: First of all, this book is way too long. secondly, it is the preachiest thing i have ever read. it's like reading aesop's fables, but not as cool. pass this one by.

Rating:
Summary: Parental Advisory
Review: This book is in very poor taste. Between the rape, torture, murder, mass murder, and latent themes of homophobia this book is not for the faint of heart.
Only the mad or abusive would allow a child anywhere near this, it would scar them for life.

Rating:
Summary: Terrible syntax, vocab, continuity
Review: I heard this was "the top bestseller of all time" so I figured I should give it a glance. Boy is this a test of patience!

First of all there seems to be a million different versions of The Bible to choose from, so settling down on just one is a little difficult. How would I know which one is the best? Eenie-meenie-miney-moe saves the day.

This particular version is extremely difficult to follow due to what I'm assuming is a translation issue. The syntax is similar to poorly translated Kung-fu movies, but on top of that there are many words that appear to be completely made up. Then there is the disregard for continuity in the story. That alone makes it extremely hard to follow, but coupled with the other problems mentioned I would suggest just about any other fantasy story over The Bible, such as Lord of the Rings or The Matrix if you're into robots.

The first half of the book is the hardest to follow. It starts out with the main character, God, creates an entire universe. Thats pretty neat, but there aren't many details to make all that fantastic. This is only the beginning of such neglections. The author (who isn't listed, ANYWHERE) focuses most of the first half of the book on geneologies. At first I figured the purpose of this was to lead up to some pivotal character, but the lists of names go off in so many directions its impossible to keep track of. On top of that there's rampant inbreeding! I mean there is way, way, way too much inbreeding to be considered realistic. In real life the amount of inbreeding in The Bible would lead to diseases and birth defects that would never allow the offspring to live to reproduce so the story is a little hard to take seriously even if it is a universe of his own design. But hey, this is fiction so there's no point in nit-picking, just makes for a boring read. There's also alot of instructions from God given to the people he creates. Do this, don't do that. Build this out of this, this, and that and make sure to use very specific materials...etc. Most of that stuff is never explained so you end up wasting your time even reading it.

There's this one section worth mentioning in hopes of explaining the type of consistency in the story: God floods the whole world that he created because he got mad at all the people in it, but he tells one guy to gather his family and specimins of every animal God created so that they live after the flood. Now, if God can just create things at will, why doesn't he just kill everything and create all new people and animals? Who knows...instead he gets this guy, Noah, to build a boat and gather all the animals onto it. Thousands of animals...on a wooden boat...with enough food to last them 40 days. Then after the flood recedes, one of Noah's sons goes off and settles down with a group of people. Why didn't the flood kill these people off???? Who ever wrote and editted The Bible should quit their job, seriously.

The second half of the book introduces some new characters, most importantly Jesus Christ who seems to be based on Buddha. Here's a confusing part that is never really clarified. Jesus is the son of Mary and Joseph, but he is also referred to as the son of God. Which is it? It seems like the author couldn't decide so every other time the topic comes up he switches back and forth. That is a little annoying. Now there seems to be quite a cult following of this guy in real life. Sorta like the Rocky Horror Picture show, but people actually have churches dedicated to him! Talk about fan-atics! Anyway, Jesus goes around teaching people about right and wrong, sorta like Buddha teaching the way to enlightenment. This is all conveyed through second-hand accounts by his posse. Why the author choose this approach is interesting. Maybe he thought it would keep the reader at the right distance from the character. Anyway, if Jesus is the protagonist then the antagonist would surely be Satan. He has alot of different names in The Bible, normally people who use an alias are hiding from something but that is never stated in the book. Satan is quite a trouble maker. He tempts people into doing bad things and even tempts Jesus but Jesus resists his charm, just like when Mara tried to use seduction on Buddha and Buddha resisted. Little good this does Jesus because he is killed later for leading a revolution (unlike Buddha).

In this book all the characters believe in an afterlife which is either set in "Heaven" which is good, or "Hell" which is bad. This is another point of confusion in the book. Besides the contradicting criteria for one's entrance to heaven, God is supposed to be all-powerful, yet he creates Jesus to be the king of heaven...God lives in heaven and you would think that he would be the king since he made the place, but no. The whole book is filled with contradictions like this and breaks in continuity. Its really quite frustrating. I'm assuming all the different versions of The Bible are attempts to rectify some of these problems but quite frankly I'm so annoyed that I don't really feel like dealing with more of this book.

The Bible ends with alot of violence and destruction. There's more destruction than there was inbreeding in the beginning of the book. It turns out that God and Satan are really just competing in a popularity contest to see who can get the most people on his side. God is such a poor sport that he destroys whole cities if they don't join his side. The author aligns God with whats morally good, and Satan with whats morally bad. Why a being who's morally good would throw such a hissy fit over popularity is a little odd, but again it's fiction so anything goes I guess.

I say even though there are some lessons about good and bad buried under all the bad grammer and inconsistencies, don't bother putting yourself through the turmoil of trying to follow this book. If you're into fantasy stories there are plenty other better written books out there. And if you just want to learn about morality and life, I suggest picking up anything from Thich Nhat Hamh ot the Dali Lama. English isn't even their first language and they can write better than whoever wrote The Bible.

Rating:
Summary: THIS BOOK WASNT EVEN SCARY...
Review: I thought this was suppose to be some groundbreaking horror novel? it wasnt even scary - & this Jesus character didnt have any personality

i recommend reading something from Bentley Little or Stephen King.... at least their books are more realistic.

Rating:
Summary: AN ABOMINATION TO MANKIND
Review: Someone once asked me why I was such a skeptic concerning the bible. My response was that I simply read it. All the way through. Actually it's been 3 versions now. The KJV,NIV, and CEV (all the way through). At 43 years of age with over 20+ years of intense research and introspection I am still more convinced than ever that the King James Bible represents the worst in mankind's imagination, and has been responsible for more crimes against humanity than can be counted. It's up to the reader to decide how much time and effort they want to put into this complex and controversial book. I could list many reasons why not to take this book as anything but a literary work of fiction but that would be setting-up my views to the narrow minded bigots and not convince those who don't want to deal with the bible with an open mind. My only advice is to be brave, be honest with yourself, and value the truth more than anything, even your own desire to feel safe.

Rating:
Summary: Kinda Sucked
Review: I read it a few times, not a huge fan. Read a real book like Harry Potter.