Rating: 
Summary: Meh
Review: Starts off with a bang but kinda drags towards the middle. The author needs to do some work on pacing and climactic elements. Could've used a vampire, too.
Rating: 
Summary: Give it a read, you might learn something...
Review: While I'm not a religious person. I'd say that reading the Bible could do folks a lot of good. For instance our two friends from England and Austria below might learn a little something about tact.The Bible is not meant to be taken at face value, it's meant to be a guide. The stories contained within are lessons written in a style that could easily be remebered by regular folks, you know, poetry of sorts (a lot of the original language has been lost through almost two thousand years of translation, but the messages still come across). But, obviously these two poor souls couldn't grasp this simple concept. Sorry guys... your loss... To anyone out there actually seeking a sense of spirituality, Read this book... slowly. Take everything in. Whether you agree or disagree with what you've read, you will come away better, maybe a little more fulfilled for having done so. Besides, this is technically one of the greatest books ever written. It should probably be read based on literary merit alone.
Rating: 
Summary: ...
Review: Before, or perhaps even after, you read the Bible, I should advice for you to read any mythology. I would especially recommend Greek. In the greek mythology everyhing originates from nothing. Sound absurd? Compare this with the Bible. Do the "revealing explanations" of the origin of the universe and life seem strikingly similar? Uh-huh. Do both dissuade scholastic pursuits by implying that belief in God is the only virtue necessary? Uh-huh. But at least now mankind has recognized Greek mythology as fairy-tales. Wonder when the mankind will come to the same conclusion about Bible...
Rating:
Summary: Post my review!
Review: I posted a review here one week ago, and it still hasn;t been put up for public viewing.
Rating:
Summary: Wow!!!!
Review: I have read this book an am confused. But, I enjoyed the bible teaching me how to hunt in forests, and fish in small rivers. In the second chapter, Moses asked me to fix his car, because I was the only auto-mechanic in Jerusalem. He had a really dirty main gasket and bad, sqeaky brakes. It cost him a lot for the job, so he wrote me a check. That was fine, until I cashed it and it bounced! After that, John said that Jesus needed a messenger/assasin for some Roman guy who kept sending hime annoying e-mails. He was going to pay me 15 cattle!! work is work, so I went along with it. At that time it was late so I checked in at the local Holiday Inn. There were a couple of company meetings going on to I just went to bed. I woke up some time near the end of the book, when I was told by an old woman with bad leprosy that Jesus has been kidnapped and I had to save him. I picked up my .30 cal w/ military tactical scope. I was on a mission to save the saviour. When I got there the kidnappers were putting him up on some sort of octogon shape wood frame. I opened fire on the ones standing around. I hit a couple. Unfortunately the desert sand jammed my rifle while in the prone position, I couldn't save him. "But it's okay, it's for the good of mankind", so the sand coyote told me. THis is an excellent book. Christianity rocks!!
Rating:
Summary: The best Zombie story yet!!!
Review: Starts off slow... Moses goes to get the Ring from the evil lord Dracula, then later he ends up opening a bagel shop in Peoria. Then a group of hippies try to take over Wonderland. When that plan falls flat the head hippy (a mexican guy) gets lynched by the Oompa-Loompas, but he comes back as a zombie and starts eating brains, which in turn causes others to become zombies, and they in turn eat brains. But because the head zombie believes that you can't live on brains alone, he goes to work for a bagel shop in Peoria. The last chapter is the most gripping. All the bagels disappear and all that's left are doughnuts, and NONE of them are jellies!
Rating:
Summary: Gripping Read!
Review: The Bible, latest work to spring forth from the pen of award-winning author God, is a rollicking, non-stop, action-adventure which ends with a thrilling conclusion and a hearty "Amen". This is God's best novel to date, incorporating elements of both Mesopatamian Myth and his earlier blockbuster, The Torah. Fans of the Torah will find the second half of this book a radical departure from God's normal writing style; for example, the story is much less centered around smiting and not eating pork. The middle section tends to drap of this book, and the author, faultless in his reasearch, often lingers too long on lines of a "Zebbub begat Nebur" vein. However this is soon forgotten, and fans of action will truly enjoy the unpredictable stories between David and Goliath, Job and the Biting Flies, and Jonah and the Whale. Although it can sometimes come off as a bit preachy, the Bible is a true semi-autobiographical masterpiece by the reclusive God, age 53 (to the infinte power), who resides lately in Indiana. One certainly hopes to hear more of this promising young writer in the days to come.
Rating:
Summary: Needs modernizing.
Review: While many consider the "Holy Bible" to be among the most premier works of fiction ever written and the lyrical translation ordered by King James to be paralleled only by Shakespeare's mastery of the written word, this book is clearly outdated. It lacks the connection to the modern world that the contemporary works of Shakespeare have, and the trite, repetitive nature of the characters proves astonishingly dull. In addition, there is a clear clash between the two "God"s in the New Testament and Old Testament. The Old Testament provides for an angry, violent, and singular deity, while the New Testament, written by a slew of authors thousands of years later, turns God into a triumvirate of love-makers. Gone is the smiting, the mass murder, and the warfare, replaced by a forgiving, loving, and (still) repetitive and dull deity. Of interest only to those who study Middle English, cults, and (possibly) ancient cultures. Get your ancient fiction kicks elsewhere (Greco-Roman poets, maybe?).
Rating:
Summary: Look...
Review: I realize that it is perfectly alright to have your own views, that is cool. But, people writing some of the reviews that I have seen need to be thankful for everything the Lord has given them. Without Him, we would not be here. This Bible is good for everybody starting or continuing the Christian faith. Hopefully people will quit going against God and maybe they can join and learn from Him.
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Summary: THE ULTIMATE BOOK (YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT OR BURN IN HELL!!!)
Review: I'll tell you. It is the Truth. Every single word contained inside is the holy word of God. Do you understand? Why can't you heretics and unbelievers (SINNERS) stop for a second - a SECOND! - AND KNOW THAT JESUS IS LORD!!!!! HUH! AMERICA IS RULED BY GOD AND JESUS! BURN THE CONSTITUTION AND INSTALL THE ALMIGHTY DECALOGUE (THAT'S THE TEN COMMANDMENTS HEATHEN PIGS!) IN EVERY CLASSROOM, GOVERNMENT BUILDING, RESTAURANT, SPORTS ARENA AND STADIUM, MOVIE STUDIO, AND PUBLIC TOILET IN THIS INTELLIGENT DESIGNED LAND OF MILK AND HONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SINNERS REPENT!!!! BEG FALWELL, ROBERTSON, AND EVERY PREACHER YOUR SINNING EYES SEE ON TELEVISION FOR MERCY!!! SEND THEM MONEY AT ONCE!!!! THERE IS NO OTHER BOOK ANYONE NEED EVER READ!! NONE!!! ALL CHILDREN WILL WORSHIP JESUS! ANYONE WHO REFUSES TO READ AND CONSEQUENTLY ACCEPT AS PURE TRUTH THE ENTIRE CONTENTS CONTAINED WITHIN WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!!! YOU WILL OBEY GOD WITHOUT COMPLAINT!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND! DO YOU!!!!! PRAISE JESUS!!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!! PRAISE! PRAISE!! PRAISE!!!!!!!! SAY YOU LOVE JESUS! SAY IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ONE NATION UNDER GOD!!! UNDER GOD!!!! UNDER GOD!!!!! GOD!!!! GOD!!!!! GOD(FRAUD)!!!!!!!!!
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