Boundaries

Rating:
Summary: Biblically Sound Permission for Christians to Set Limits
Review: While many of us, Christian or not, have trouble setting limits on the behavior of others, and often feel guilty when we do, many Christians seem to have a unique dilemma in that they believe setting limits to be something the Lord does not approve of- something they have no right to do.
"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for TEACHING, REBUKING, CORRECTING, and TRAINING IN RIGHTEOUSNESS"...2 Timothy 3:16.
"If your brother sins, REBUKE him, and if he repents, forgive him"...Luke 17:3
In the Book of Ezekiel, we are taught to rebuke both evil people, and those who have always been good, but are now doing something wrong. Regarding wicked people, Ezekiel says:
"Son of Man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me. When I say to a wicked man,'You will surely die,' and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the wicked man and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his evil ways, he will die for his sin, but you will have saved yourself."...Ezekiel 3:17-19
The Scripture then goes on to instruct us regarding those we consider to be good (righteous), but who are now doing something they should not be doing. This could apply to family members or friends:
"Again, when a righteous man turns from his righteousness and does evil, and I put a stumbling block before him, he will die. Since you did not warn him, he will die for his sin. The righteous things he did will not be remembered, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the righteous man not to sin and he does not sin, he will surely live because he took warning, and you will have saved yourself."...Ezekiel 3: 20-21.
"Rebuking" is something we are taught to do in the Bible, and yet many Christians feel guilty for doing it.
"Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. You may be sure such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned:..Titus 3:10-11
It is a common misconception that Christians have to patiently tolerate all kinds of abuse from others, or risk being labeled "un-Christian." Many who are unfamiliar with scripture believe this to be so, when in fact, we are scripturally admonished to stand up to evil. As adults, we are not to consider ourselves under the spiritual dominion of any man, but only God.
A wrongdoer will typically defend himself by telling us we "can't judge him" because the "Bible says we can't". Such a person is failing to make the distinction between "judging" and "rebuking". Rebuke is not judgment, it is reprimand and correction.
In "Boundaries", not all of the people who need limits set on their behavior can be called "evil", although some can. Most can be referred to as manipulative, controlling or even abusive.
This book gives Christians what they have trouble believing they are entitled to- permission, from a Biblical perspective, to set limits on the behavior they will tolerate in their presence.
The authors are Christian psychologists and writers and Zondervan is a Christian publishing house. Boundaries is a winner of the Gold Medallion Book Award in Recognition of Excellence in Evangelical Christian Literature, and is Biblically-based. It is well-known in the secular world as well, having been discussed on national talk shows, and it has sold over 700,000 copies.
The book discusses setting limits in many areas of your life, including at work, at home, with your parents, spouse, children, friends, etc. It answers many difficult questions, such as, 'Can I set limits and still be a loving person?', 'Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?', 'Are boundaries selfish?', and 'What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?'
Boundaries lists and talks about the Ten Laws of Boundaries, such as The Law of Sowing and Reaping, The Law of Responsibility, The Law of Respect, The Law of Envy, and The Law of Power. It defines what a boundary is and discusses how to set boundaries in your life.
The book also includes information on how others will react when you set limits, and the types of resistance you may encounter. For example, regarding 'Angry Reactions', we are told, 'The most common form of resistance one gets from the outside is anger. People who get angry at others for setting boundaries have a character problem. Self-centered, they think the world exists for them and their comfort. They see others as extensions of themselves....'
Boundaries grants us permission to stand up for ourselves and others against those who do not respect people, while giving us the freedom to do so without feeling guilty. This book will take you step-by-step through setting and enforcing your boundaries. It is an excellent resource for those who are just learning to stand up for themselves.



Rating:
Summary: Amazed
Review: This book came highly recommended by a well known counselor where I live. After expressing to her my past relationship problems, she thanked me for sharing my thoughts and concerns with her and asked that I read this book in order to better understand what I was allowing people, especially men, in my life to do to me. I had just come out of a very mentally abusive relationship with a man who lied to me over and over, and also a very controlling relationship as well. In the meantime, I had met a very sensitive, warm and caring man who knew my past and did not want to put me through what I had been through with previous relationships and thank goodness, by reading this book it has taught me so much about myself and how not to allow others to control and manipulate me in the future.

Rating:
Summary: Boundaries was a great read for a soul in need
Review: I purchased this book after an important relationship ended in my life. I was searching for the signs to look for in healthy relationships and to determine if I even knew what a healthy relationship would be. After reading this book, I discovered that boundaries help us to be better and to be more giving and more loving to those around us. The book contains many references to scripture to help guide Christians to establishing healthy, biblical boundaries. I also discovered that my former

Rating:
Summary: EXCELLENT!
Review: This book gives one the TOOLS to build healthy boundaries. It's a virtual Home Depot of psychology and living.