Planning A Wedding With Divorced Parents

Rating:
Summary: No serious interpersonal-situation advice...
Review: The book, "Planning a wedding with divorced parents" serves as a reminder of what the reader, as a divorced child, has already experienced: You need to be the go-between and the one responsible for communicating everything. It does a good job of pointing out where it is essential not to forget this, particularly telling the photographer, ushers, and director/coordinator(assuming you opt for one of those). It also gives examples of good etiquette about invitation wording, alternative seating arrangements and ceremony procession order.

My main criticism about this book is that it limits discussion to semi-formal to formal events, with a particular sense that adult children are still dependent upon their parents for much of the wedding planning and financing (e.g. parents splitting traditional bills, or parents inviting their friends). I've been to very few weddings lately (the couple is usually over the age of 28 or 29) where parents' friends/coworkers were in attendance and parents financed everything -- or anything, for that matter. While that may be useful to some interested in this topic, I found the recommendations limiting, and common-sense extrapolations from those in any non-divorce wedding guide or bridal magazine.

I would imagine many children of divorced parents who do not get along well opt for a more informal, less-structured event in order to circumvent the more obvious financial and communication issues (I know I am, and my brother certainly did). The way to deal with not hurting parents' and stepparents' feelings, while still having YOUR wedding is missing here. It also pushes the idea of a wedding director to handle these situations, which is out of the purview of any informal wedding.

For example, advice on the appropriate way to accept and use offers of small financial support from each parent/stepparent without potentially offending the other parent (or the stepparent that contributed but will not play a role in the ceremony) would be helpful, in my opinion. Ways of broaching the involvement expectations of all parents and stepparents without committing oneself, or perhaps how to deal with little traditions that are specific to a parent (e.g. roses to the mothers -- should the long-time stepmother get one too, potentially upsetting the "real" mother that raised you?) would be something appropriate for a book like this which is not discussed anywhere else.

If these sort of deeper issues don't apply to your wedding, this book will probably serve you well. If you have the "other" type of situation, then this book offers you nothing new.

Rating:
Summary: No serious interpersonal-situation advice...
Review: The book, "Planning a wedding with divorced parents" serves as a reminder of what the reader, as a divorced child, has already experienced: You need to be the go-between and the one responsible for communicating everything. It does a good job of pointing out where it is essential not to forget this, particularly telling the photographer, ushers, and director/coordinator(assuming you opt for one of those). It also gives examples of good etiquette about invitation wording, alternative seating arrangements and ceremony procession order.

My main criticism about this book is that it limits discussion to semi-formal to formal events, with a particular sense that adult children are still dependent upon their parents for much of the wedding planning and financing (e.g. parents splitting traditional bills, or parents inviting their friends). I've been to very few weddings lately (the couple is usually over the age of 28 or 29) where parents' friends/coworkers were in attendance and parents financed everything -- or anything, for that matter. While that may be useful to some interested in this topic, I found the recommendations limiting, and common-sense extrapolations from those in any non-divorce wedding guide or bridal magazine.

I would imagine many children of divorced parents who do not get along well opt for a more informal, less-structured event in order to circumvent the more obvious financial and communication issues (I know I am, and my brother certainly did). The way to deal with not hurting parents' and stepparents' feelings, while still having YOUR wedding is missing here. It also pushes the idea of a wedding director to handle these situations, which is out of the purview of any informal wedding.

For example, advice on the appropriate way to accept and use offers of small financial support from each parent/stepparent without potentially offending the other parent (or the stepparent that contributed but will not play a role in the ceremony) would be helpful, in my opinion. Ways of broaching the involvement expectations of all parents and stepparents without committing oneself, or perhaps how to deal with little traditions that are specific to a parent (e.g. roses to the mothers -- should the long-time stepmother get one too, potentially upsetting the "real" mother that raised you?) would be something appropriate for a book like this which is not discussed anywhere else.

If these sort of deeper issues don't apply to your wedding, this book will probably serve you well. If you have the "other" type of situation, then this book offers you nothing new.