The Modern Gentleman: A Guide to Essential Manners, Savvy & Vice

Rating:
Summary: Don't believe the hype
Review: As a child there was a word of advice that was given to me that was said would enable me to traverse through any social class from its awesome heights to its darkest depths, and that was, "Manners maketh the man. A gentleman is defined as one who has basic good manners". If one genuinely respects the rights of others, is sensitive, and occasionally does a `good turn' for someone, offering the appropriate "please" and "thank you" when required, one is able to walk quite comfortably with kings and paupers. More often than not, though, basic good manners will get you far, but sometimes it's the little things, those tacit social codes in particular situations that one is unaware of that can make one feel awkward and ungentlemanly. But that's life.

The Modern Gentleman is essentially a guidebook about the very basics and a particular lifestyle - the authors. The vast majority of advice given in this book is vital `common sense', most of the guidance is tongue and cheek, delivered with advertising copy wit, word play and a glut of clichés, but some of their suggestions are useful for the urbane wannabe and can be applied immediately.

After a few pages of reading the text, it dawned on me that it's essentially written for young, twenty-something single men, who have finally arrived in the real world after college and it is time to shed their fraternity Neanderthal habits and grow up. In between the lines one can almost sense the author's telling their old acquaintances to shed their Sports Bar mentalities, buy cravats, smoking jackets, don English bowlers, and find the `Oscar Wildean dandy' that lies within us all. It's time to throw away Mettalica and Nine Inch Nails and develop a taste for Beethoven and Tchaikovsky. Everyone knows that jazz is the music of choice for the urbane man, and the authors give us a list of the basic artists to listen to in order to develop our gentleman ears. Let us not forget the all-essential silver flask in the breast pocket, to pull out and sip undisturbed in the empty elevator, in a gentlemanly fashion. (I'm afraid they lost me on that one. Flasks are for top-up drunks, not 21st century gentleman.)

Overall this little guide is a list of dos and don'ts about personal hygiene, what to read and what to drink, why it's not a good idea to burp at the table during a dinner party, and that the occasional facial at the local beautician is now socially acceptable and a perfect "me time" activity. For the young man "coming out", this book is an essential manual about lifestyle and manners. Though some of us do not aspire to be Wildean dandies, knowledge of a good red wine will not go astray.

Rating:
Summary: A fairly helpful but off-base guide to the Modern Gentleman.
Review: As a tongue-in-cheek guide to the modern man, Mollod and Tesauro make a light hearted attempt to guide the reader to higher social levels. However, this book falls short of the "quintessential how-to-be-a-gentleman guide." In truth, many aspects of the book were well written. The tipping section was enlightening (although I usually tip more than what is suggested) and the chapters on group dynamics actually work! The wine and book lists look intriguing and may prove to be worth the text's full retail price. However, there are other aspects of Modern Gentleman that are off-base, unrealistic, or simply "ungentlemanly-like." Take, for example, the authors' suggestion to have an impromptu food fight in the local late-night diner. Suggestions resembling these are childish at best; grotesquely improper in the worst. Furthermore, there are whole chapters devoted to deviant sexual practices, etiquette on drug paraphernalia and a gambler's guide seemingly written by one who has never gambled. In addition, mottled throughout the text are sadomasochistic dribble, sexual and homosexual innuendo, and vocabulary that you need The Unabridged Oxford Dictionary to decipher. The authors attempt to transform the average Joe, having him don the transparent guise of Modern Gentleman. Unfortunately, the Modern Gentleman portrayed is the fraternity lad who will not give up his college days for the sophistication of mature adulthood.

In conclusion, the authors describe the modern gentleman as someone who has the base attributes of a James Bond or a Fred Astaire, with plentiful helpings of Oscar Wilde, John Belushi, and the Marquis de Sade. If this is your idea of the modern gentleman, this book is your bible! Otherwise, still an entertaining read obtained from the discount rack or local library.

Rating:
Summary: Mostly delightful ... sometimes downright questionable
Review: I bought this book for my engaged grandson and ended up flipping through it first. It's racy for an 18-yr-old, but college grads will have little problem digesting the vocabulary or the vice. The writing is excellent and the information is very entertaining. The ladies will appreciate the chapter on Wooing. Definitely a winner...especially for single lads and grooms-to-be.

Rating:
Summary: Mostly delightful ... sometimes downright questionable
Review: I love to acquire useful lifestyle advice and have -until now- bothered only with the kind directed at my gender. Pure curiosity motivated me to glimpse at what "the other team" was getting. Hence the purchase of this not-so-little book.

I had expected the authors to stick to the obvious tenets of Gentlemen's Finishing School 101: regularly trim burgeoning nasal (and other personal) topiary, attend to itches IN PRIVATE, maintain eye contact with a lady's face, etc. I was fascinated and charmed to see the authors swashbuckle their way across a much wider swath of territory. The thoughtful advice proffered includes not pressuring a pregnant girlfriend for intimacy (or to take a particular course of action regarding the pregnancy) and refraining from ogling a dancer performing at an adjacent table in a "gentleman's club" without making a payment. (Truth be told, I had never, ever, realized that this type of establishment called for such enlightened etiquette. Then again, my venues of entertainment happen to be concert halls, but more of that later on in this review.) The authors also advise a best man to calm down the groom beset by pre-wedding jitters and to handle the latter's wallet for gratuities and checks. A truly considerate touch!

A part of a lifestyle guide is to navigate the delicate balance between honoring one's authentic self while developing grace and savoir-faire. In this regard, I was really irked to see the readers being advised to fake an interest in classical music. To quote directly from the source; "Below are eight must -haves that, like answers to $800 and $1000 Jeopardy questions will show off your musical breadth." Investigating new cultural avenues is laudable. However, faking an interest to impress others is deplorably sophomoric.

In the same vein, cutting through the thicket of excessive verbiage in the book is exhausting. Isn't clobberring others with one's erudition at odds with projecting a subtly sophisticated aura of "to the manner born"? I always had the impression that trying too hard was the most distinctive mark of the poseur.

Now for the downright questionable advice. The authors devote far too much space to the topic of alcoholic libations. The sub topics covered on this matter even include the machinations of transporting it in a flask (to be secretly sipped, for instance, at the house of a girlfriend's stuffy parents). The authors also blithely encourage lying to a lover about the number of previous sexual partners.

The book has potential to be a great graduation gift to a young man ... once the authors and their editors take some quiet hours (minus their flasks) to re-think their ideals and to rewrite the book in a more accessible lingo.

Rating:
Summary: On the Cusp of a New Age
Review: I use the phrase "New Age" advisedly, for this book is not merely a prescriptive one for the Gentleman's Quarterly man. It is much more--a hopeful book which, frankly, would have been unnecessary in my young adulthood. With a good high school education, it would have been difficult in the 1950s and 1960s to emerge without some clarity of social etiquette and consciousness. In many areas of life, the FAUX PAS would have been as obvious in rural Georgia as in cosmopolitan San Francisco.

Now as we're circling the drain of the multicultural polyglot, Mollod and Tesauro propose to get us on some sort of consensual track--or tack, for the sailboaters among us. And even better, they encourage you to THINK about the etiquette, not merely to follow in lock-step some propositions.

Quite frankly, their book encourages one to think of past behavior and dalliances in some perspective as well. As we keep hearing today across the media...people don't vote on what happened 30 years ago. A great proponent of that view, and of baseball Spring Training, is the taciturn George Will. However, in a sense, he is wrong. For example, in the section "Leaves of Grass" they encourage the reader not simply to admit past use of recreational drugs, but to examine the social and spiritual context in which such use may have occurred. This would have been much more clarifying, for example, than a recent President's simple statement "I didn't inhale"--not exactly deep thinking about the period of rampant marijuana use.

Or, consider lying. Here are examined all kinds of "lies"--frpom the "[S]mall departures from hand-on-the-Bible testimonials" to the "tumorous canards (which are) buildups of small and mid-sized lies, a Gordian knot of untruth"....the "aftermath includes disappointment, scorned trust, and torched friendships."

The book is a jolly read. I encourage women to read it, for it contains cunning insight into the modern male psyche. Better yet, they might consider giving it to and studying it with a potential fiance! As we all know, couples' individual identities tend to become blurred with time, and women have much stake in their male counterparts' behaviors! Consider for example, the advice "When others are basking in a moment of grandeur, do not engage in one-upmanship simply to tout vast experience."
Superlative advice--of course a woman would naturally avoid such alpha-male hill-climbing. However, the unreflective alpha male, with trophies on his office wall, golf balls displayed from the world over in a walnut case, or photographs of his Cessna might also consider that these are not simply "conversation starters."

I enjoyed the read thoroughly. On the cover, is displayed a graphic of a man wearing a had--a 50s hat, not a fedora, with a line drawn to it denoting it [fig. a] (sic). Hurrah. Will crinolines and elbow gloves be next for women? They already are--on the runways of New York in early 2004. I think we'll all be the better for it, although the "dress for success" admonitions of John Malloy in the 1970s never really were discredited, even in a place such as Austin, where ball caps (or gimme caps, as the women call them), t-shirts, and sandals (Oh, grotesque! As Laura Ingraham says, who wants to see a man's feet?) were once the daily fare in the defunct IT economy. Back to basics!

Marvelous effort!

Rating:
Summary: Essential read for essential manners, savvy and vice
Review: If Jay Gatsby came back from the fictional grave, showed up at my doorstep and inquired as to how he should conduct himself in the modern world, I would direct him to Phineas Mollod and Jason Tesauro's guide to contemporary manhood, "The Modern Gentleman". Within its irresistable pages he would find everything he needed to know about surviving the age through witty and pragmatic advice on everything from e-mail etiquette, intra-office romance tips and acceptable sexual fetishes to recommended bumper sticker quantities and invaluable advice on wine selections, intoxicant indulgences and the use of profanity.There's a gentleman's reading list, a guide to courtship and marital bliss as well as tips on incorporating pornography into the healthy relationship. Even if you're not expecting a visit from old Gatsby this holiday season, I'd recommend "The Modern Gentleman" be added to your gift list for the recent post graduate or man in need of a little prudence. Mollod and Tesauro have penned a fun, noteworthy manual to be savored upon first read and referred to often.

Rating:
Summary: Bla Bla Bla Bla
Review: No substance at all. The other reviews must have been written by the people who put this thing together.

I want my money back!

Rating:
Summary: Fun read, lots to learn...
Review: The Modern Gentleman is a fun book, and offers lots of info and insights. I learned how to behave in diners (loud fun is OK); how to behave in strip clubs (don't be crude); and the best ways to sneak in (and out of) parties without embarrassment. I found it refreshingly entertaining and definitely non-Metrosexual - a plus! It's well worth your 10 bucks, and offers lots of tips and short, well written essays on a wide variety of topics on male behavior.

Rating:
Summary: A gift book you want to keep for yourself
Review: This book has the kind of beautiful design and snappy title that made me think, this'll be a great gift for my friend, somewhere in between funny and useful. But then when I started flipping through it, I couldn't stop and kept going from hilarious topic to hilarious topic. Authors Mollod and Tesauro sound like the kind of guys who are well-mannered enough to pass the "meet the parents or the boss" test yet would throw the kind of wild party you'd remember for years--not a bad team to give advice. Under the topics Emily Post might not cover are: condom etiquette, gentlemanly use of hallucinogenic substances, and "Fonzarelli Moves," plus witty words on gentleman standards: business attire, correspondence (including E-mail), and apologies. Portions of the book include charming drawings of drinks that match the topic at hand (ex: in the Office Romance section we learn how to make Temptation.) This book rocks. Very hip AND very useful.

Rating:
Summary: Viva Le Gent Moderne!
Review: This is the nightstand tome of choice for me. I read the reviews below and bought it because I'm a modern gent, not a perfect gent. Sure, the vice and prose might be a bit too advanced for most readers, but isn't that the idea...to stand out from the unremarkable masses?

It's very funny--I mean laugh out loud funny--and yet there are also insights you'll not find anywhere else. Notes on jukeboxes, entrances & exits, condom etiquette, and ethically dating two women at once are indespensible. The lists of seminal jazz albums and first rate modern fiction are worth the price alone.

I dog-earred my own paperback, but prefer the hardcover when gifting to pals...especially clever ladies. Unequivocally recommended.