Did You Say Something, Susan?: How Any Woman Can Gain Confidence With Assertive Communication

Rating:
Summary: A wonderful guide on assertiveness training for women
Review: Dr. Paulette Dale is a workshop leader and consultant on assertive communication and the author of five textbooks and numerous articles on the subject.

This 196-page book has no index, but it does have a list of references and multiple useful appendices. It covers the following topics: (1) how to be unappealing to users and abusers; (2) using assertive speech and body language; (3) preparing for confrontation; (4) learning how to say no; (5) buying time before responding in a difficult situation; (6) speaking up for yourself and telling someone when their behavior is not acceptable to you; (7) refusing to put up with put downs; (8) speaking up on the job; (9) raising assertive children.

Dr. Dale writes in a clear and friendly style which makes it a pleasant task to learn her lessons on how to communicate what you really feel, say no and mean it, speak up for your rights, get what you need on your terms, become confident and articulate, and gain the respect of others.

Assertiveness is a very important aspect of self-defense (a multi-layered set of skills I strongly believe every woman should know). This book teaches the first two of five levels of self-defense: establish a strong physical presence, and verbal deterrence. (The other levels are: soft-handed defense, deterrence through physical pain which causes no lasting harm; hard-handed defense, physical strikes which can cause injury but rarely death; and deadly force, physical kicks or blows, or the use of weapons such as guns, which can kill the assailant, and are commonly employed by martial artists, law enforcement officers, and military personnel.)

I highly recommend this book to women of all ages, especially young women, who can avoid a lifetime of unnecessary suffering by using this vital information to keep themselves safe and sane.

Rating:
Summary: A little simplistic...
Review: I did like this book, and I could see reccommending it to clients I counsel. The activities and exercises are great. Her writing style is easy to read and the book is well laid out. She covers pretty much all the important issues with a fair amount of detail and great examples.

So why the relatively low rating? Well, I did find the book oversimplified the problems of unassertiveness. I would've liked an entire chapter just on the role of women in society and how that influences our potential unassertiveness. She just didn't go deeply enough for my liking as to the causes of unassertiveness. For a person with real, long term problems speaking up for themselves this book wouldn't be enough either. I had a real issue with the way the author seemed to suggest that all you had to do was read the book and follow her program and you could become assertive. For many it isn't that easy.

Rating:
Summary: Excellent book for women on speaking up for themselves
Review: I would recommend this book to anyone working on increasing their assertiveness skills. Her chapter on saying No - using ways to buy time and saying no directly are particularly great examples of skill building. I refer my coaching clients to this book and mention her examples in my newsletters and on my web page.

Rating:
Summary: Excellent book for women on speaking up for themselves
Review: I would recommend this book to anyone working on increasing their assertiveness skills. Her chapter on saying No - using ways to buy time and saying no directly are particularly great examples of skill building. I refer my coaching clients to this book and mention her examples in my newsletters and on my web page.