Resolving Conflicts at Work: A Complete Guide for Everyone on the Job

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Summary: The spirituality of conflict
Review: I like this book. Ken Cloke is good in general on the topic of transformative mediation, and this volume -- co-written with Joan Goldsmith -- does a fine job of offering transformative-mediation-based insights to the actual parties to conflict. (This isn't a guide for mediators; it's a guide for "conflictees.")

Cloke and Goldsmith offer what they call eight "paths" toward transformation. I won't detail them here since you can read about them yourself with Amazon's nifty new "Look Inside" feature; what they have in common is that they offer the reader ways to think about and to approach conflict that may help to turn it into an opportunity for transformation. The background setting is officially the "workplace," but the guidance is easily generalizable to other contexts.

Then, too, some readers may think the whole field of nonviolent/transformative conflict resolution is full of feelgood warmfuzziness, suitable only for tender-minded Joe and Jane Sensitive utopian escapists. But these authors repeatedly insist -- rightly, in my opinion -- that resolving conflicts is a _much_ more active process than avoiding them, much more demanding of real courage and tough-mindedness. (And they don't present their approach as a solution to _every_ conflict.)

The most important thing to know is that Cloke and Goldsmith treat conflict as a spiritual opportunity. They stop short of maintaining that conflicts are actually _provided_ to us in order to promote our spiritual growth; for that, the reader is referred to Mark Rosen's excellent and delightful _Thank You for Being Such a Pain_, which takes as its premise that difficulties are given to us by Providence. But Cloke and Goldsmith do the next best thing and offer lots of helpful advice on how to _treat_ conflicts as opportunities; as such, their book stands well on its own merits, and in my own view works even better as something of a companion to Rosen's.

A good book, then, well worth reading for its insights on workplace conflict and on conflict generally, on the opportunities conflict presents and how to take advantage of it as a means for personal transformation. And I personally recommend that readers who believe in a providential God take a look at Rosen's book too.

This book (and Cloke's work generally, along with some of the other conflict resolution/mediation literature) might also be of interest to another class of reader: libertarians and classical liberals who want to see people empowered to manage their own problems without government intervention.

I'm sometimes surprised at how little my fellow libs have to say about alternative dispute resolution; you'd think we freedom-lovin' folks would be all over this field by now, and yet too many of us seem to be satisfied with airy references to "defense agencies" and the threat of force as the first, last, and only disincentive to aggression. It doesn't seem to occur to many of our most public voices that personal transformation -- what my generation used to call "raising consciousness" -- is the (only) key to avoiding many conflicts in the first place.

At any rate Cloke and Goldsmith's book is a pretty good place to start for the libertarian reader interested in conflict resolution. (William Ury's _The Third Side_ is another nice companion volume, devoted precisely to the question of how people might possibly -- and do -- manage to resolve conflicts without the help of a centralized State.) If you liked Mary Ruwart's _Healing Our World_ (which see), you'll probably like this stuff too; Ruwart has a fine sense of the spirituality of liberty.

(On the other hand, followers of Ayn Rand will probably _hate_ this stuff. And now that I think about it, one of the most damning criticisms I could make of Rand's ethics, and her philosophy generally, is that it tends to strip people of _precisely_ those spiritual virtues that make peaceful conflict resolution possible.)

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Summary: Resolving Conflicts at Work, A Complete Guide for Everyone..
Review: I review a great deal of material relating to organizational, management and general human resource development in my role as an O.D. and training manager. Most of what I see is pre-digested and re-packaged common sense, masquerading as the newest thing that will save, drastically improve, maximize and strengthen 'your profits and your people'. In other words, I am not easily impressed.

This book is an exception. Unresolved conflict is at the bottom of many organizational and personal ills. This practical, well researched book is both honest and refreshing - in particular for its courage in naming and addressing the impact of the 'un-namable'at work, the "F" word, i.e. feelings.

What I especially appreciate about the book is the emphasis placed on exploring personal responsibility, one's own context and emotional landscape. If as Eleanor Roosevelt stated, no one can make you inferior without your permission, no one can make you a victim in conflict either.

Without resorting to jargon or pat solutions, this book covers the important steps needed to work through and ultimately resolve conflicts. There are comprehensive chapters that discuss: listening from the heart, being vulnerable in expressing needs, managing emotions - including anger, dealing with difficult behaviours, problem solving, and negotiating.

There are great questions and exercises throughout the book to help you to uncover what lies beneath a particular conflict. The book maintains an upbeat, positive tone that conveys hope and encourages optimism. I particularly like the perspective of seeing conflict as an opportunity to grow in learning and understanding.

On the other hand, nothing is ever perfect and what is missing is a bibliography. In addition, I would have appreciated a focused discussion on dealing with issues of power and authority in work conflicts. Many employees are reluctant to risk confronting their bosses for fear of losing their jobs. Power differences are a tragically mismanaged issue in many dysfunctional workplaces.

Nevertheless this is an excellent resource for anyone who had ever had a conflict at work or at home - in other words, all of us!

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Summary: Resolving Conflicts at Work: A Complete Guide for Everyone o
Review: Offers suggestions for transforming conflict into opportunities for positive change and improving workplace relationships. Maps out eight paths for sharpening conflict resolution skills and gives detailed directions on how to understand the culture of conflict, search beneath the surface for hidden meaning, solve problems creatively, and negotiate collaboratively. Cloke has been director of the Center for Dispute Resolution for some 20 years. Goldsmith is an organizational consultant and mediator, facilitator, and trainer in conflict resolution.

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Summary: Communication 383 requirement
Review: Resolving conflicts has always been a difficult procedure for the human nature whether it be in our personal lives or on the job. Kenneth Cloke and Joan Goldsmith offer intuitive and practical applications in this resolution in their book "Resolving Conflicts at Work: A complete Guide For Everyone on the Job". These two were very diverse in their thinking and research when compiling different tactics to overcoming conflict. In the introduction, "Eight Paths from Impasse to Transformation", Cloke and Goldsmith overview eight paths available in making steps toward resolution. The first path is to "Understand the Culture and Context of the Conflict". Through this path, an individual needs to understand the culture of an organization. Understanding the culture allows knowledge of values, behaviors, language and much more. According to this book, participating in conflict is much more beneficial when an individual understands a culture's language of conflict. This chapter also describes conflict as war, opportunity, or journey. War is based on victory, opportunity shows our opponent could help us, and journey lets both parties win by collaborating and finding solutions within each other. Basically, this path tries to teach the reader how to learn from conflict. Some tips on how to learn from conflict are recognizing conflict/change as positive, putting yourself in the other person's place, being honest, and creating common ground. Path 2 says to "Listen with Your Heart". This chapter describes effective ways of listening and speaking. Depending on the situation, one can listen actively, passively, openly, sympathetically, or whatever seems fitting. One should also set the state for listening. This way distractions are lessened and communication will not get distorted. Speakers can take certain steps to draw out information that will resolve conflict. To be effective, a speaker can find a listener's expectations by being respectful and empathetic while putting the listener at ease. Listening with your heart emphasizes reciprocal feedback to attain higher communication. To "Embrace and Acknowledge Emotions" is the third path. Our family life develops how we react and feel about certain situations. On this path we are asked to search our emotions for pent-up feelings or unneeded anger. Releasing the negativity allows us to react more honestly and take off the masks we wear everyday. Different ways of apologizing are offered as well. Of course, every situation is different, so are the steps of saying "I'm sorry". The next path is a deeper exploration of path three. Path four is to "Search Beneath the Surface for Hidden Meaning". Every person has an Iceberg of Conflict. Emotions are left under the surface to fester instead of being brought in the open to deal with. The most important concepts in probing the iceberg is empathy and taking responsibility. By finding hidden meanings, we are able to be honest and sincere when trying to collaborate and finding common ground through conflict. Path Five allows an individual to "Separate What Matters from What's in the Way". If one cane step out of the position and look at the conflict from an outside perspective, the situation becomes less personal. This way positions, interests, people problems, differences, etc. become separate and makes it easier to resolve. Another way to resolve conflicts is to "Learn from Difficult Behaviors" on the sixth path. Instead of identifying the problem, the origin of the problem should be found. Finding a reason for a difficult behavior helps in the strategy of working with it. When figuring out why a person takes on a difficult behavior, one can take the steps in changing or working with that behavior to benefit the organization or relationship. Path Seven may offer a more practical and involved solution to conflict. To "Solve Problems Creatively and Negotiate Collaboratively", organizations can change attitudes to positive outcomes. This chapter offers steps in creative problem solving and negotiation styles. The negotiation process offers steps to take before, during, and after the problem solving factors. Cloke and Goldsmith emphasize that a positive outcome depends upon a willingness to engage in committed action. The last path says to "Explore Resistance and Mediate Before you Litigate". First, one needs to find why there is resistance to communicate and solve differences. Also, mediation is defined and is explained why it works. This process of shifting the purpose finds common ground to reach the much needed closure. Overall, this book is effective and practical. It offers many different approaches to resolving conflict. Every situation is different and needs a separate way of solving. The only questions one might ask is, How vulnerable do I want to be in the workplace? or, How personal do I want my relationships to be with my co-workers? Some of these resolution tactics require a person to open up as if speaking with a best friend. But, if one is willing to do whatever it takes to reach a resolutions, this book in the one to read and get advice.