How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have: A Practical and Spiritual Guide to Personal Success

Rating:
Summary: Great insights given on how to break thru blocks to success.
Review: I enjoyed this book immensely and recommend it to everyone interested in making the most of their life. I've read a lot of self-help books on how to attain success through various steps, but this one truly addresses what it takes to get what you want. I learned that life's not about getting more and more -- it's about appreciating what you have and also making it okay to go for more. It tells how to break through emotional blocks, something that I saw John Gray do on his Oprah Personal Success series that aired in the Fall. If a person puts into practice what Dr. Gray suggests, good results will happen, I have no doubt. It's already happening in my life. This is no doubt the best investment in a book that I've ever made.

Rating:
Summary: Probably 3 and a half.
Review: I expected to hate this book. I got it for free because a box of books was donated to my office for our garage sale (we're a non profit agency). Surprisingly, I generally thought the book was pretty good.

Despite the fact that the phrase "love tank" is corny, Gray's point is a good one. He is trying to show people that true happiness and success isn't measured through the external trappings of wealth -- without an inner life, and an inner sense of worth, people will constantly try to fill up their emptiness with stuff. And all the "stuff" in the world won't make up for what is lacking in good relationships, a sense of emotional well being, spiritual development, and community. I agree with him there.

I don't however, necessarily accept that you need all ten types of love to be happy. I do know people who don't have a romantic partner who are quite satisfied with their lives. Same with people who don't have children. The latter especially didn't fit for me -- Gray argues that being an aunt or belonging to something like Big Sisters won't fill you; you actually have to be a parent or have a pet, because otherwise you aren't experiencing enough responsibility. In Western culture that may be true. In other cultures, like mine (I'm of Eastern European descent) aunts and uncles view their nieces and nephews as being like their own. I certain do with my little niece. So it isn't as simple as Gray puts it.

Oversimplification is the biggest drawback of this book, and the reason I didn't give it five stars. There isn't a whole lot in the book that's particularly new. The letter writing techniques he describes can be found in other Gray books. There is a wealth of material on meditiation on the market. So if you read alot of self-help, some of the material in this book might seem redundant. This fact makes the book, which is about 310 pages, seem even longer than that.

Gray has a chapter that talks about different crisises at various life stages. Although he doesn't make the comparision, this chapter is reminiscent of Erik Erikson's eight stages of man. Had Gray referred to Erikson, this chapter might've had more weight. I was also frustrated because I know, as someone who's taken developmental psychology, that some of the life stages he mentions (mid life, retirement) have been shown in some studies to not result in crisis for a number of people. He makes no allusions to any evidence or research that might contradict his beliefs. In general, I was disappointed by the lack of references to other authors who share similar ideas.

I did find that his chapters on identifying and addressing the twelve blocks were really useful for me. I can also see myself journalling with some of the questions he gives in Ch. 17 to help the reader explore their past. Some of the suggested meditations are pretty good, too. So overall, there is some material in the book I could see myself referring to in the future, either for my own personal work, or to help a client. If you like Gray, and/or you want to learn to deal with your emotions more effectively, I'd say that this book is worth reading.

Rating:
Summary: Buy it for yourself AND the people you know!
Review: This book really surprised me. I have not been a fan of Gray's, but I am now. In this new era of energy shifts and higher consciousness, John helps you get through past issues and get on with life! I have read that some think all he talks about is God, and that is simply not true. Yes, he does mention God and devote some writing to it - but what self-changing book would be complete without bringing God into the picture?
This book helped open my eyes to some of my blocks in a very subtle AH-HA way. I also see many of Gray's points in issues my friends and clients are struggling with. If you feel unease and are overwhelmed by the changes in life, this is a good book to help pinpoint some of the root causes and find the solutions.

Rating:
Summary: Life Changing
Review: Very informative for example, the metaphor about the "tanks" that we all need to fill up when we feel unhappy or unfulfilled-in otherwords, to look inside yourself and not blame your partner or someone else. If you feel empty may be you need some time alone, or some time with family or time to pray to "your" God, it is not "always" the other persons fault. Also the prayer meditations are excellent and quite simple, especially to reconnect with God and to release negativity and bring in positive energy (may be a little new age for some people but try it, you will feel better). There was a lot of information and I think they organized it in a readible format--however, it gets hard to read in the middle-and- keep reading-it is worth it! I liked the book because I learned to meditate and release negative energy and to ask for what I want from God by being specific and to reconnect with God every day as the one who creates miracles. There are different people with different levels of spiritual development. For the person just staring to seek out spirituality, this book is the beginning of their journey for knowledge. Buy it, borrow it from the library, read it! John is saying: have a continuous relationship with "your" God; learn and understand your life cycles from birth-fill in the gaps; understanding your spirituality is extremely important in getting what you want and being happy.

Rating:
Summary: HOW TO WHAT,WHAT, WHAT?
Review: When I first saw the title of this book, I thought it might refer to a tale on tongue twisters, but seeing John Gray's name ensured me it would be far more insightful than any tongue twister. Having read all of Gray's books, this one is outranked only by, "Mars and Venus Starting Over" (my favourite of all Gray's books) and secondly, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus."

In this book Gray points out the importance of being at peace with one's self, taking strength from your spiritual beliefs, and the importance of meditation in our lives. For me, personally, that spirituality and peace of mind came naturally many years ago through my beliefs in Buddhists philosophies; however, whatever it is you believe in, whatever your own religious beliefs may be, you will find this book has an important message.

The author also writes of many self-defeating behaviours which keep us from obtaining our goals and the fact many of us continutally blame others for our mistakes or failures. I absolutely love Gray's unique writing style, his anecdotes and his philosophical outlook on life. He brings to this book a wealth of priceless knowledge, inspiration and spiritual eenlightment. I have followed the principles Grey outlines here for years, partly through my psychology studies and partly through my Buddhist beliefs. While there is not a "one shoe fits all approach" that will guarantee actually getting what you want and wanting what you have, the concept has certainly worked for me over the years. Yes, there have been trials and tribulations, there are in everyone's life, but my materialistic needs are few and the inner peace, contentment, and personal happiness in my life are abundant. For those who are still searching for what they want in life, and those who are never happy when they get it, I highly recommend this fantastic book both from a psychological and personal perspective. Gray has an extraordinary ability to reach out and touch his readers, providing, of course, the reader has the ability to fully understand and grasp the context of his message. I highly recommend this sagacious, thought provoking book and hopefully, you will be blessed to get what you want in life and want what you have.