Rating: 
Summary: Bad advice and obvious good advice
Review: Upon finishing this book I couldn't resist being disappointed at what the book had just delivered. It's possible that it was I who had unreasonably high expectations of what the book should've taught me, but I doubt it.The author, Mrs. Debra Fine, is supposedly a super conversationalist (she calls herself that!) who promises to teach you how to become a super conversationalist yourself. She claims that she was one of those boring engineering specialists who aren't capable of talking about anything that they haven't been trained on in school or college. She used to be shy, afraid, and hesitant during conventions and hospitality receptions. So how did she change? In the beginning she tells you that there are many old tapes playing in your head that you should get rid of, which include the popular sayings "Don't talk to strangers" and "Silence is gold." Instead, she provides you with new tapes to play that encourage talking to strangers and taking initiative in conversations. After that she talks about the benefits of getting over your shyness and hesitation and talking to strangers without fear. Afterwards, she provides you with tips and guidelines on what to say and what not to say during small talk conversations. Things not to say such as those questions that will result in a dead-end answer (i.e. How was your weekend, how's the family doing... etc.) and things to say such as proper self-introduction. Then she carries on by providing tips about proper and improper body language gestures during small talks. And finally, she tells us about some conversation killers that we should avoid at all costs. So you're wondering by now, all of the above seems to be quite interesting. What made me not enjoy the book and learn valuable skills from it? My answer is that I didn't like the book for two reasons. The first reason is that even though I might not be a "super conversationalist" but I can tell when I'm given bad advice! Why bad advice, you wonder? Well, what Mrs. Fine keeps telling you on and on is to approach strangers with questions that will make them talk, not questions that will make then answer! She keeps going on and on about how to ask the proper questions and how to acquire "free' information about the person you're talking to so that you'll be able to ask even more questions! She also advises you that you shouldn't be just a silent listener, because you should be an active listener. Thus, participate in the discussion by asking questions such as "How did that affect you" or "what did you learn from all that." Notice anything wrong so far? She wants you to be one of those annoying people you meet at parties who keep on asking you questions and questions and questions and questions until you feel that you want to pull your arm until your rip it off just to have something to throw at them! You walk into a person's office and you notice a framed university degree hanged on the wall. Wow... free information... let's harass this guy! What did you like about the university? What are the advantages of living in that town? What did you learn in that major? How did this career affect your personal life? ...etc. Yet what puzzled me the most was that she herself, Mrs. Debra Fine the first, gives you a totally contradicting advice telling you to avoid being an FBI agent! She warns you against harassing people with questions. And I was like, but... what about what you've been telling me for over an hour now? What should I do with all the questioning techniques you just taught me? I guess, nothing... The second reason I didn't like the book is that whatever good advices remain after you filter the book are pretty much obvious to the average reader. Always keep an eye contact but don't just stare and try to nod and show interest. Don't initiate a conversation you're not sincerely interested in because it will show on you. Always seek the opportunity to converse with strangers because you never know what tremendous effect they might have on your life. And so on. The only good outcome possible of this book is for really shy readers who need some motivation to get out of their shells and approach people. For that purpose I recommend buying the audio tape because Mrs. Fine is a good speaker and her style is exciting and moving. But please, while doing so be careful so that you don't transform from a shy person into a nagging annoying person!
Rating: 
Summary: Information you can *use*
Review: Useful, practical, *memorable* advice on what to say, when to say it, how to say it, and to whom to say it. This is not a book on tape. This is a taped seminar. (I liked the seminar format.) Sample tip: An easy way to ask open-ended questions is to start them with "Tell me about..." Simple, eh? But if you've ever struggled to come up with questions that have more than "yes" or "no" or "fine" or "OK" as an answer... The seminar leader is entertaining and occasionally loud but never boring. I found this tape far more useful and enjoyable than the Susan RoAne tape I bought on the same subject.
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