What Should I Do with My Life?

Rating:
Summary: Flawed but important
Review: Questioning his own life, author Po Bronson set out to learn how others made tough career decisions -- and lived with them.
He says he talked to nine hundred people, seventy or so in detail, and he includes the stories of fifty or so career-changers in his book.

Bronson does not offer a systematic study or a self-help book. That's important to get out of the way. As other reviewers have observed, you won't find plans or guidance for your own career move.

Instead, Bronson offers a jumble of anecdotes, unsystematic and uneven -- just the sort of stories I hear every day as a career coach. People seek new adventures. They weigh the cost (and there always is a cost). Sometimes they decide the cost is too high and they back down. Sometimes they leap and experience disappointment. And sometimes they leap and find themselves soaring.

Career-changers are hungry for guidance. Bronson's interviewees often sought his approval -- and his advice. He insists that he's not a career counselor but they asked anyway. This quest for help is typical during any life transition and underscores the need to be cautious about seeking help from whoever happens to show up.

And of course this overlap of roles can be viewed as a flaw in the book. Bronson admits lapsing from the journalist role. He gets so involved with his interviewees that the story becomes a quest, a journey-across-the-country story rather than an analysis of career choices. Bronson includes his own story, told in pieces throughout the book. This feature seemed to interrupt the flow: if the author tells his own story, we should be led to anticipate autobiography.

Despite these flaws, Bronson comes up with some sound insights into career change. He observes that people avoid change because of the accompanying loss of identity. They hang back "because they don't want to be the kind of person who abandons friends and takes up with a new crowd," precisely what you have to do following a life transition.

And he follows up with a warning of solitude that also accompanies any life change. "Get used to being alone," he advises, yet many people fear being alone more than they fear being stuck in a job they hate.

WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE offers questions, not answers. It's like attending a giant networking event. You have to sort through the stories on your own.

Despite these flaws, I will recommend this book to my clients and to other career coaches. Career change, like any change, is messy. You rarely get to move in a straight line and you always experience pain and loss. And every move is a roll of the dice: a coach can help, but there are no guarantees.

Each story in this book is unique and your own will be too. You, the career changer, must put together your own mosaic and find pattern and meaning on your own.

Rating:
Summary: Fascinating...but be CAREFUL (it may not be what you want)
Review: A ton has been written and spoken about this book. But some things can be honestly said:
1)It focuses on people who try to answer the question What Should I Do With My Life. A great "high-concept" title for a book.
2)It is no way, by no stretch of the imagination, a self-help book that's going to help you ponder this question, take a survey and reach a conclusion. It's highly stylized in its writing and organization.
3)The book is as much about the author -- injected in the book throughout, as a character -- writing the book and meeting the people he interviews as much as the subject and the people he interviews.
4)It's very much a first person narrative book. Some chapters leave you unsatisfied. Some leave you satisfied. Some chapters seem like expanded diary entries.
Bottom line: Don't buy this expecting this is going to greatly help you arrive at the answer to this question, or read comprehensive pieces about people who struggled with this question and arrived at the answer (which would help you arrive at the answer).
Buy it if you want to read about some people who have dealt with this issue and about an author who writes about his writing project writing about people who struggle with this answer.
It has the title of a typical self-help book...but it isn't. Which will be welcome news to some readers and a big letdown to others. Dale Carnigie, it ain't...

Rating:
Summary: Rated for what lessons I have learned
Review: I was very surprised to see some of the poor reviews given to this book. Up to this point, I was neither familiar with the author nor have read a summary article in Fast Company. I enjoyed the book not for its writing style but rather, for the lessons it attemps to present.

This isn't a book about answers - that was stated early on. Nor are the people profiled bred of stinkin'-rich parents. I'm certainly not one of those, though I am a Gen-X'er. I came nowhere close to any dotcom victories/traumas. Yet I still see glimpses of my demons and desires in the stories of others.

There are people who invested a lot of time and effort into becoming what they thought they're meant to become, and only when they actually become it do they realize it was not what they truly wanted. Nothing brings you down to the real world like living up to what you've signed up for.

I also identified with the story of the young Asian man who went to an Ivy League school (yes, his parents paid for it, but they earned the money through hard labor) and ended up as a teacher working for minimum wage. This case spoke to the stereotype of Asian parents, who respect education for the opportunities it provides but would have a fit should their children become educators (even worse, high school teachers).

So, please don't buy the book in hope for excellent writing styles, or for collectives of people who will not elicit your envious eye (you will read about twenty-somethings who pulled off millions from the dotcom fervor - and even then - they're STILL looking for purpose and meaning). This book isn't meant to make you feel like the magic formula is coming around the next chapter. People go from rags-to-riches and back to rags.

It's personal sacrifice, confusion, and perpetual struggle against what tempts you (title, money, sense of security) versus what may fulfill you - when you may not even know what that fulfillment may look like if it came and slapped you on the face.

Rating:
Summary: No easy answers
Review: WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE is not a self-help book. It doesn't provide any clear-cut answers, nor does it claim to. Instead, it offers "stories of ordinary people... messy and complicated." If you're looking for a step by step guide to career planning, you won't find it here. However, if you're looking to garner some inspiration from the lives and decisions of others, this book may be just what you need.

The stories are organized into eight sections, each dealing with a specific theme. The first section deals with "making the right decision in the absence of experience", and it asks the question: how can you really pick a preference if you've never tried it? Perhaps one of the most important decisions Po Bronson makes is to not only focus on success stories. For example, Jessica Grossman thought she'd always wanted to be a doctor, like her father. But once she became an ob-gyn, she realized she wasn't cut out for it, and couldn't handle the long hours and constant pressure. During her interview, she often broke down and sobbed in the middle of a busy coffee shop. Clearly, Jessica Grossman could not know what being a doctor would entail, until she'd experienced it first hand.

The second section deals with the way our social class influences the question of what to do with our lives. The third focuses on resisting temptations that distract from true aspirations. "Failure's hard, but success is much more dangerous," says Mr. Bronson. "If you're successful at the wrong thing, the mix of praise and money and opportunity can lock you in forever." He follows that theme up with section four, which deals with the importance of making the best of a situation, whether it lasts three years or a lifetime. Russel Carpenter, for example, has only had one employer in his thirty-five years, which is highly unusual these days. Yet he loves his job, and has seen no reason to leave NASA for another company.

Section five looks at practical people who "dare to look inward, to their own muddled psyche". And section six explores the power of our environment over our career choices. Claude Sidi had wanted to be a marine biologist. He became one, but working on a remote project on the Oregon coast made him realize how much he needed people. He quit and became a dentist in a big city. He snaps pictures of his patients and can tell you the name of their dogs. In short, he loves it.

Section seven looks at the way couples handle their dual ambitions, careers, and dreams. And in the final section, Mr. Bronson looks at those who (like many of us) haven't yet figured out their dream jobs, but who are building skills that they might be able to draw upon when the time comes to make their contribution.

Written in a warm, almost confidential tone, WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE approaches the stories of ordinary people with an empathy that's hard to find in typical journalist endeavors. Human interest articles often end up being dry and impersonal, yet Po Bronson inserts his own brand of humor and encouragement into each story.

It merits repeating that this book does not offer any answers. Instead, it takes an in-depth look at the struggle between money, prestige, security and power and personal fulfillment. Many stories tell the tales of people who have gone from rags to riches, and then back to rags again. If you're at a point in your life where you find yourself wondering whether you were meant to do more, or if you're contemplating quitting your job and making a bold career move, the stories in this book should inspire you to decide upon the course of action that's best for you.

Rating:
Summary: If you are over 35, don't bother...
Review: Bottom Line-- If you are young, well-educated, and making lots of money on Wall Street or Silicon Valley, but feel you need some inspiration to decide on a life-purpose or direction, you might get something out of this book. Otherwise, I would recommend that you look elsewhere.

If you are older, you probably know more about life than what is presented here. However, some of the stories are interesting, so if you like to read about young, well-educated, rich people and how they, too, struggle with life, go ahead and read it.

Rating:
Summary: Fascinating...but be CAREFUL (it may not be what you want)
Review: A ton has been written and spoken about this book. But some things can be honestly said:
1)It focuses on people who try to answer the question What Should I Do With My Life. A great "high-concept" title for a book.
2)It is no way, by no stretch of the imagination, a self-help book that's going to help you ponder this question, take a survey and reach a conclusion. It's highly stylized in its writing and organization.
3)The book is as much about the author -- injected in the book throughout, as a character -- writing the book and meeting the people he interviews as much as the subject and the people he interviews.
4)It's very much a first person narrative book. Some chapters leave you unsatisfied. Some leave you satisfied. Some chapters seem like expanded diary entries.
Bottom line: Don't buy this expecting this is going to greatly help you arrive at the answer to this question, or read comprehensive pieces about people who struggled with this question and arrived at the answer (which would help you arrive at the answer).
Buy it if you want to read about some people who have dealt with this issue and about an author who writes about his writing project writing about people who struggle with this answer.
It has the title of a typical self-help book...but it isn't. Which will be welcome news to some readers and a big letdown to others. Dale Carnigie, it ain't...

Rating:
Summary: YOU must answer the question...
Review: I am not a good writer, nor am I proficient at expressing myself. You should read the review below called "Don't Miss the Point," (May 12, 2003 Reviewer: Carey M. Lesser from Manhattan Beach, CA United States) as it completely outlines how I feel about these reviews on this book.

I can offer three pieces of advice for anyone reading this book:

1. Read the Introduction. Po talks about his experience writing the book and his mission when he started and how it changed as he wrote. You need to understand what he is trying to do to get anything out of this book. This book is essentially autobiographical. He tells you that at the beginning.

2. Get past socio-economic status. You need to look at these people that he writes about for who they are, not what they do. The issue at stake is not the amount of money that people make. Try to identify with the issues that these people face: fear, anxiety, social pressure, family pressure, depression, confusion, lack of passion, too much passion. Po chose to share his interactions with these people because their stories supported the various themes in his book. If you want diversity of economic status, make note of the security guard, the government workers, and the people who grew up in working-class families. Their stories are there too, but apparently people are choosing to overlook them (perhaps this resentment of the economically priviledged is why these reviewers haven't realized their own dreams??)

3. Like other readers have commented, Po Bronson is not trying to cheerlead us all into meaningful careers. He is investigating the process of trying to find meaning in our lives. If you read this book and let these people really get to you and forget about dollar signs and status, you will start to ask yourself the important questions that Po and his interviewees have posed themselves. The questions are more important than the answers, according to his thesis. Use this book to inspire you to ask these questions.

Ok, so maybe he is a little preachy sometimes, but doesn't the topic deserve a good soap-box lecture? He is clearly passionate about this. He has found his calling. We should want to be as passionate about our jobs as he is about his. For those of you looking for a more hands-on, less philosophical approach, read "What Color is my Parachute" which is filled with quizzes and games to help you figure out what you want to do with your life and how to get there.

Rating:
Summary: Misery Loves Company?
Review: My Adored Older Brother recommended this book to me (shoved it in my hands in fact and made me take it) so I read it... but other than the fact that it demonstrates that many, many people make career shifts and life shifts and geographical shifts in their thirties and forties I'm not sure how it is helpful.

This is NOT a book like Barbara Sher's "Wishcraft." There are no guidelines for determining your goals and going after them-- this isn't even really a self-help book.

What it is, is a collection of essays based on interviews with an assortment of different people wrestling with this question. Many, if not most, of the people are still in flux, or even actively dissatisfied, when Bronson finishes the essay on them. Though this is realistic it's also depressing.

And there's far too much commentary from Bronson about his own journey (pardon me but I just don't have all that much sympathy for his struggles since he made a fortune as a young man before he found his path to creative writing... and to his true love... he certainly seems to have it all now, and his periods of angst seem largely self-induced) and how he came to choose the people he wrote about.

Some of the essays began with paragraphs about how this or that person almost didn't make it into the book, even though he or she kept emailing him-- which led to the notion that being included was an honor. Well, in a way I suppose it was, but it has the effect of calling attention to the process of the book's writing more than to its content.

Ultimately for me not enough stories were inspirational and not enough were memorable.

BUT. I'm in the arts, and the notion of making a career or life change is not in and of itself a hard concept for me (just the mechanism of it itself).

For people who have not really undertaken to figure this out-- and I think that includes a lot of people who have gone straight into lucrative fields (OK, I guess I do understand why Bronson uses himself as an example of how making money can be unfulfilling)-- this is an important question. One thing that did resonate is how some of his interviewees would misstate the title of the book-- the SHOULD is important. It's not "what do I really want" but "what SHOULD I do with my life." This is an interesting angle...

and on the whole it's an interesting read when you first think about the question.

But for real motivation and encouragement, I'd go with any of Barbara Sher's books!

Rating:
Summary: Incohesive and disappointing
Review: My advise to the curious: borrow the book if you feel compelled to find out what it's all about. If it inspires you, then buy the book.

I'm having a really hard time trying to be fair and objective with this review because I find Po to be pretty self inflated.

The focus of this book is as much on Po as anything else. I think the title and back-cover-description are really misleading.

This isn't a book filled with success stories - in fact most of the stories are pretty depressing and I'm downright confused as to why they're peppered throughout the book. At first I thought the "failures" were leading into the "success" stories but that's not the case; there will be one success story (which Po has played a key hand in molding with his "wise beyond his years" advice) followed by one "failure" after another. Why?

Mike "Blandino" (I wouldn't be surprised if Po made up this name to go along with his sentiment for the guy), is someone who sits in a seat of 'so much possible "do-gooding"' but "wastes" it; Lori Gottlieb works feverishly towards a goal only to find out it's not really what she wants; Ana Miyares the successful cuban immigrant drops everything for a cause that doesn't appear to fulfill her in any way; Barry Brown stuck in the casinos with no apparent hope for escape... the list goes on.

The common thread among all these people is that they all long for more meaning in their life - which is what brought us to this book - which we were hoping to be able to glean some inspiration from - which if this is the case you're probably going to be pretty disappointed.

I wasn't looking for stories so that I wouldn't feel "so alone". From the apparent niche in this market it's pretty obvious I'm not alone. This story doesn't have a discernable "morale of the story" to it.

Each story/interview is very short - from about four to seven pages - which make up the entire book. I found many of them incoherent - almost as if Po was working a deadline and didn't put as much time as he maybe should have to organize his thoughts - and maybe the entire book. I found myself needing clarification about a lot of these people's stories and left a lot of them (stories) feeling disappointed.

How did this book get published? The author uncovers this in his book (at least in part): "...I put in my time at a small publishing house. I learned everything I could about the industry. I prepared the financials and paid the bills. I typeset books. I shipped orders. I designed jackets. I wrote press releases. I made publicity calls. You name it, I did it. I knew publishing wasn't my calling, and the pay sucked, but I was determined to have the skills to protect the books I would someday write".

It's not impossible to glean some insight from this book - the problem is you have to get past Po to get it. Reading it is like watching a movie you've heard was really good (this book was recommended to me by a [little-known] author who's work I admire) so despite it's shortcomings, you keep watching. Waiting. There's a few (emphasis here) good parts and througout the movie you're anticipating something "big" but before you know it the movie's over and "big" never happened.

Obviously some people have found this book to be very inspirational. I'm reiterating some of the same feelings expressed by others with a different view. My guess is that if you're put off by "name dropping" and "titles" - essentially relatively big egos, you'll likely be put off by this book - and this is aside from the fact that this isn't a book about "success stories" - or even well written "unsuccessful" stories. I'm disappointed in the writing, the layout, the chopped stories, the ego...

If you're seeking inspiration (or just validation of your feelings/wants/desires) I'd recommend "How To Find The Work You Love" by Laurence G. Boldt. A great (little) spiritually validating book written by a career counselor/writer who has incredible insight and perspective and a way of putting words and meaning behind "the quest" that really hits home and makes sense. A really awesome little book.

Rating:
Summary: Entertaining, but who is this book for?
Review: Po Bronson is certainly a skillful writer, and I found myself breezing through this book within just a few days. However, at the end, I wondered who the author had in mind as a target market. For example, the first chapter is about a young man who has received a calling from the Dalai Lama. While this may be an interesting story in its own right, what does this situation have to do with the career struggles of the typical reader? What is a machine tool salesman or an accountant living in Dayton, Ohio, supposed to take away from this?

The people in this book don't seem to have too many day-to-day financial concerns. Only a few are parents. A significant number of them fall into the category of the educated elite. As a group, they are more interested in spiritual fulfillment projects than in financial success. (About half of them just walk away from a high-paying job to pursue a journey of self-exploration.)

While these sojourners have their place in the world, I don't think that these were the stories that the average reader was expecting. This book could have included a few such dreamy-eyed wanderers and succeeded. However, these should have been balanced by some more conventional success stories.

I wanted to read about the father of three who started his own business to provide a better future for his family. I wanted to read about the secretary who attended evening college for six years in order to achieve a more satisfying job and a better standard of living. Where were the people with more run-of-the-mill professional tracks?

And why couldn't Po have interviewed some of the millions of entrepreneurs who have started superficially mundane, but socially productive and financially rewarding small businesses? Why does everyone in this book have be focused on something like volunteer work, politics, or filmmaking?

While Bronson's selection of subjects is skewed, he does a good job of extracting insights from the material they give him. This would have been an excellent book with a more balanced selection of interviewees.